"What's wrong unnie?" Joy asked when she noticed Irene's full plate.

"Nothing," she replied with a smile. "I just feel sick. Tell Yeri or Seulgi that they can have my breakfast." She got up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Joy asked again. 

"I'm just going to the gym." 

"We will go with you!" Joy suggested, picking up her gym bag that was on the table.

"Just leave it," Irene replied, picking up her own bag and walking out before she could follow.

She felt free as she ran down the familiar path. It was her favourite park in the city, and since it was early in the morning, very little people would be here. She ran to the beat but her mind was elsewhere. Her parents. She didn't know how to describe their relationship. She supposed she was close with her parents, that was true. 
They often spent time travelling when she was off schedule and before she used to call them every day but they never really praised her. As selfish as it was, Irene liked to feel loved by her parents, but they'd only mention her successes in music. There was nothing about her that they praised her for. She resented it, loath as she admitted it. She wanted someone to like her for her. Not leader of Red Velvet, not an idol but Bae Joo-hyun. 

By the time she reached the practice rooms, they were almost all booked. She signed herself into a small dance studio and flicked through her playlist. She queued their title tracks and then began to practice every single one. She felt dizzy afterwards and she blamed the lack of breakfast, so before she left she bought herself half a toastie at the cafe. 

Her phone started to ring around lunch-time. Irene was squatting when she heard the tune blast over her workout music. She answered only out of kindness.

"Irene-yah!" Seulgi shouted down the phone. "Where are you?" 

"I'm just at the gym-"

"Alone? Do you know how many creepy guys leer at you over there? And you haven't eaten breakfast, that's bad for you! I'm heading over with lunch now Irene-"

"No Seulgi," she cuts her off. "For one, this is our companies gym, so no creepy guys, and for two, I had a toastie earlier. Can't you just leave me alone?" She snapped, breathing heavily.

"Oh..." She sounds taken aback. "Sorry, Irene." She hangs up and Irene feels worse than ever.

She stops her activities by late afternoon and decides to take a walk out into the streets. The twinkling lights and decorations don't make her feel any joy when faced with a Christmas alone. She wasn't even sure if SM would give them a comeback next year as successful as Peek-A-Boo, and she wanted to make her parents proud in all that she did. She sat down on an empty bench. What was she doing? She was thinking so selfishly when her parents were over in England with a huge storm. She had selfishly worried about Wendy and she hadn't even thought of them when the news clearly said it would hit Europe. She passed a hand over her face. She had no right to feel upset when she didn't deserve to have them at  Christmas anyway. She was debating getting up when her phone lit up again.

Wendy ; 
Irene, is everything okay?

She frowned, it was very unlike Wendy to talk like that without reason. 

Irene ;
Of course I am, how is the storm?

Wendy ;
Fine, they've cleared the major roads so I should be alright. Seulgi and Joy told me you haven't been in all day, they've been making excuses for you. 

Of course, Seulgi would've convinced Joy not to tell Yeri in fears of an actual fight happening. Seulgi was secretly incredibly insecure that the group would disband, and foolishly Irene had told her that would never happen because they all loved each other so much... Yet she had just abandoned the whole group without so much as a second thought. So selfish Bae Joo-hyun, she rebuked. She was supposed to be a leader, someone who is caring and compassionate and deserving of having such supportive members underneath her yet she had been so disrespectful. The fact that they had covered for her regardless just made her feel worse. If SM caught wind of this she would be in so much trouble. 
-
"Irene!" Yeri shouted as the door closed. "I missed you unnie, I hadn't seen you all morning." She gave her a hug, Seulgi and Joy were behind her, they were stood as still as statues.

"I'm sorry," Irene said, responding to the hug. She looked uneasily at Joy and Seulgi, who just looked annoyed. "I was just getting some practice and I didn't want to force all of the group into it since it's our vacation now..." Yeri pulled back. 

"Well next time tell us," she pouted. 

"You're such a baby sometimes," Irene teased. "Let me go shower, you guys should order food..." The silence was unsettling. 

When she got out of the shower she could smell meat and she tried to not let water all over her jumper as she got changed. Eating minimal food all day had left her famished. 

"Something smells good," she commented as she walked into the middle room, they were sat around the small table, waiting for her to join and start their meal. 

"It's Bulgogi, sweet potato noodles, and kimchi... It is gimjang season after all," Seulgi said. "Since tomorrow we'll probably be getting our bags ready and such." Irene tried to keep a natural face. They wouldn't know that she was staying here alone, she didn't need their pity for Christmas.

"Dig in then," she stated instead, sitting down quickly to eat. 
-
"Wendy!" Everyone shouted into the camera.

"Hi guys!" Wendy waved through the screen, her face was a little pixelated but it was relatively clear that she was happy.

"How's Canada?" Yeri asked. 

"Did I send you the photos of the snow? How pretty! Am I right?" She held up a circular item. "I bought you all these snow globes, they have quotes in them and I think they are really cute!"

"Oh, my!" Joy said. "It matches my box of lip balm."

"Of course, I thought they could go together on your side."

"You're so thoughtful unnie," Irene pointed out. 

"Speaking of which, I think one Bae Joo-Hyun owes me a thank you..." She teased. Irene felt uncomfortable doing it right there and it must have shown because Wendy pointed at her through the screen. "When I get back or no snow globes for you!" Everyone laughed.

"I'm glad you're getting around fine with all of the snow." Seulgi moved in front of the others to speak to Wendy. "We miss you lots!" 

As the conversation carried on Irene couldn't help but think of how quiet it will be without the rest of her group...

-

Oh no! Will the group find out or will Irene have to spend Christmas alone? Let me know your thoughts!