CHAPTER WARNING: THERE IS THE DISCUSSION OF DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE WITHIN THIS CHAPTER. I HAVE TRIED TO KEEP IT MINIMAL BUT IT DOES GO ON FOR A LARGE PORTION OF THE CHAPTER SINCE IT IS THE BACKBONE OF THIS STORY. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND AS YOU READ.

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“I don’t think that he’s going to be very happy about what you drew, Jun,” Hansol told him once he had placed the spray can down and taken his mask off. Looking back at the defaced wall while Chenle moved to discuss video editing with Yuta, Renjun could only raise an eyebrow at the older.

“Why not? It’s true,” He replied, earning a sigh from the older who patted his head and walked away to the others. Turning to the wall once more, Renjun was glad that he was able to draw something from his heart and raised his phone to take a picture of the graffiti.

It was of his father’s face, high cheekbones that resembled his own and a face that many would consider pretty instead of handsome. He had drawn his father smiling - a really beautiful smile that was passed onto him - but the words on top revealed his inner thoughts the most. Written in stark black, the words ‘I will not live your lie’ stood out, even in the dim lighting of street lamps. Sighing to himself, Renjun opened his text messages and quickly sent a message to the one guy that he knew would be willing to write an honest scoop about the son of Huang Zixin.

To: Journalism 101

I did something pretty interesting today. Thought you might want to check it out for a new article.

It wasn’t long before he was in Hansol’s car, holding Chenle’s hand and laughing with the other three males in the vehicle with him, with his phone buzzing in his pocket.

From: Journalism 101

You know you could have just said ‘Johnny-hyung, please make an honest scoop about the stupid thing that I did’ and I would’ve been fine with it, right?

~ ~ ~

“Ge? Are you sure that you’re alright?” Chenle asked him once they were in the door, both of them toeing off their shoes before moving to the living room.

“I’m alright, Le,” He answered as his eyes landed on two of his best friends who were currently each other’s faces on the floor in front of his TV.

“Jeno. Jaemin. This isn’t even your place,” Renjun stated flatly as Chenle screamed at the scene in front of them, Jaemin flipping him off from where he was hovering above his slightly older boyfriend and pulling away after one last short kiss.

“Technically, it isn’t yours either,” Jaemin retaliated, walking over to Renjun and engulfing him in a hug that was so tight that he found it difficult to breathe.

“Doesn’t explain why you’re here.” He heard Jeno chuckle in embarrassment before he took out his phone and began tapping rapidly, showing Renjun a picture of his drawing that he had done earlier that night.

“This is why we’re here,” Jeno stated, smiling at him with an adorable eye smile while Jaemin took the opportunity to place his chin on his head. “Johnny-hyung posted it. Said he knew where to find it after talking with Hansol-hyung.”

“Jeno told me everything, Injun,” Jaemin informed him as Chenle looked at him in curiosity, obviously wanting to know the connection between him and the famous singer. “And honestly, Zixin’s an .”

“What exactly is your connection with him, ge?”

Feeling the stares that both Jeno and Jaemin were giving him and Chenle, Renjun took in a deep breath before forcing his eyes to meet the youngest’s. He felt Jaemin’s arms slip away from his body as Jeno lightly patted his head.

“We’ll give you two some privacy,” Jeno stated before he hooked his arm around Jaemin’s waist and retired to Renjun’s bedroom - the same one that Renjun had cried numerous times in because of this stupid reason that wasn’t even his fault.

“Ge?” He heard Chenle ask once more, the other’s hands reaching up to cup his cheeks as the younger kissed his forehead. “You don’t have to tell me but I want to let you know that I’m not leaving you again. I’m not going to leave you again.”

“I…Chenle…haven’t you ever wondered why people don’t approve of our relationship?” He asked the other who gave him a confused look, leading them to the couch where they sat to discuss the matter at hand. I have to do this. He made me forget about it for so long…He deserves to know.

“They’re just immature homophobes who have nothing better to do with their lives,” the younger stated with so much malice that it took Renjun off guard. After a moment of silence and Renjun contemplating how to word his thoughts, he heard Chenle whisper. “There’s something else that’s bothering them…isn’t there?”

“Don’t I look familiar to you?!” He asked Chenle, making sure to stare at him in the face so that Chenle would see his high cheekbones - see his soft jawline and see his pretty face that he hated so much. “Don’t I?!”

It was only a few minutes of Chenle staring at him blankly before a small flame of recognition was ignited in the younger’s pupils.

“Huang Zixin…Ge, I-“

“It’s okay. Not a lot of people see it anyway,” He cut the other off, placing his head on Chenle’s shoulder  since he didn’t want to break down in front of the other. “Do you remember the scandal that broke his career? The one of the illegitimate son and the…the…?”

“Ge…” Chenle mumbled, arms wrapping around his waist as Renjun felt himself being pulled towards the younger. Comforting circles were being drawn on his back as Renjun tried his best not to sob.

“My mum…she never wanted me but Sicheng-ge’s family, who were close with Zixin, begged her to not abort me. Zixin has never entered my life as a father! All he does is blame me for being the reason as to why his career ended because I’m the living proof of his affair!” He shouted, hands curling into fists as Chenle listened to his outburst of the feelings that he had kept within himself for the past few years. “The texts and…and the haters…I hate how they label me as the bad guy too! Like I deliberately chose to be the result of an affair!”

“Renjun-ge…there are people who want you now and we don’t see you as anything other than the strong Huang Renjun who fights demons every day,” Chenle whispered to him, making Renjun’s eyes tear up as his body shook.

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t go anywhere for so long. Back in China, I lived with my mum but she didn’t like it when I sang. She said that I would grow up to be like - like Zixin if I did! The kids at school…they all stared at me like I was some animal!” He could feel the tears build up more now as Chenle tightened his hold on him. “And then…when everything calmed down…Sicheng-ge was able to move to Korea and I…I begged the Dongs to let me come too.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Chenle asked him and he nodded against the younger’s shoulder, breaths calming down when the scent of Chenle’s cologne became stronger.

“The Dongs pay for my school fees and my living expenses. They wouldn’t let me pay for anything so I applied for a job at the cafe since everything was settling down and barely anyone recognised me anymore,” He explained, hearing something from his bedroom get knocked to the floor but ignored it for the sake of letting Chenle know his biggest secret. “My…my name was never released to the public because I was underage but…sometimes…people look at me longer since Zixin is such a huge singer and everything-“

“His music ,” Chenle stated harshly, making Renjun burst out in giggles as he reprimanded