Oh,
The taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise

"I'm addicted to you. Don't you know that you're toxic." Seulgi mumbles along a slow acoustic cover of Britney Spears' Toxic.

Leave it to her best mate, Seungwan, to pick the most spot on song for today's workshift. They were kind of addicted to it - to the science of poisons - toxicology. Otherwise, they probably would not have ended becoming resident doctors at the department. Not that Seulgi regrets being in it. The job is fairly stimulating. There's almost never a dull moment, not when they handle emergency admissions when patients are at the brink of death. Or when they get to help forensic scientists solve crimes.  But there is one thing...their least favorite task - answering calls at the poison control center.

Myung Se Hospital is one of the rare healthcare facilities with hotlines open for people from all around the country who’ve exposed themselves to poison accidentally or on purpose. At present, it's the residents' job to receive their calls, advise the patients of treatment or to refer them to other professionals if needed.  While the work sounds okay and all (since they get to sit on spinning chairs!), it’s actually mind numbing for a few reasons:

One, nobody ever calls, which traps Seulgi and Seungwan into talking until they run out of things to say. After which, they stare blankly at the walls, roll their wheeled chairs around or snooze until the phones ring. Two, when people do call, they could either be pranksters picking on the hospital phone number, mistaken food delivery customers or some really strange cases like that one time a person’s parents called because their son consumed chicken vitamins post-break up with his girlfriend.

Anyhow, the 94 liners have to last tonight’s telephone duty - no matter how tedious it is. It’s been a lazy day and you can tell since the call that rings out at the last 30 minutes of their shift is merely the seventh. 

"Answer the phone. I'll turn the music off." Seulgi orders, fumbling to stiffen her back from her evening nap. Her knees buckle to push off her chair towards Seungwan’s sleek black box speakers at the back of the room.

"Says who? YOU answer the phone. I'll turn MY music off." Seungwan retorts, blocking Seulgi’s way with her purple Vans sneakers.

“But I just answered the last one!” Seulgi argues, nose flaring in irritation. The telephone buzzing in between the two doctors is matching their yelling in terms of volume. Meanwhile, the guitar riffs to Toxic continue to fill the room. 

“Oh, just answer the damn phone or we’re both going to get it from Soojung-seonsaengnim.” Seungwan fights back, pulling the arm of Seulgi’s chair with all her strength so it can slide closer to the ringing object, but even with the threat of facing the wrath of their intimidating consultant, Seulgi stands her ground.

"Rock-paper-scissors on who does it!" She challenges, not going down without a goddamn fight, despite the fact that three-quarters of her body are already in front of the telephone.  “If I lose, I’m doing it.”

"Ugh, whatever. Game!" Seungwan cries in aggravation, flicking her beige colored hair out of her face. She rocks her fist twice and throws a paper gesture which beats Seulgi’s closed fist rock terribly. The latter sighs at her miserable luck and dejectedly grabs the phone closer.

“You at games, Kkang Seul. I don’t know why you even try.” Seungwan teases, sticking her tongue out. She busts a ridiculous victory dance while prancing to turn off the music (which has shuffled to Beyonce’s incredibly upbeat rendition of Love On Top, by the way, after much of their quarreling). The monolidded 94 liner snorts at the troll that is her shift-mate, but the fun drains out of her when she picks up the phone. 

“Somebody help me p-please.” A woman’s soft, sobbing plea crackles through the speaker. 

It sounds like something has gone horribly wrong.

“Hello?” Seulgi responds quickly. Adrenaline courses through her body and in seconds, every nerve and muscle in her is tingling and feeling the moment’s urgency.  The doctor is IN.

“What happened? The details and your name please.”

“I’m Irene.” The voice manages to croak. Seulgi clicks a pen and grabs a wad of paper from her desk to write.

I R E N E.

Seungwan bats an eye, seeing Seulgi’s shoulders jerk up, attending to a call in full concentration. She asks, “Is something up?”

Her partner only puts a finger to her lip as an answer.  Seungwan sinks into her chair, left to her own curiosity. Seulgi waits for her caller to explain, pressing the speaker closer to her ear.

“My three-year-old daughter ate silica gel.” Irene recalls frantically in tears. “She ch—choked on them.”

“Choked on them? So she’s stopped?” Seulgi interrogates, brushing her long brown hair out of the way to take more notes.

“I, I, I- I didn’t know what to do so I made her d-dr-drink water to gulp it d-down.” Irene stutters, her voice starting to gain volume as she struggles to tell the story straight. Seulgi’s ear is still straining though, as it works hard to filter out the sniffling from intelligible speech. “Is she going to be fine? What do I do?”

The sight of her precious daughter choking must have taken a toll on Irene because she sounds like she’s about to lose her mind to anxiety. More than anything, Seulgi can hear her non-stop haggard huffing and puffing. And although med school training has supposedly stripped her off of all sympathy, for some strange reasons, Irene’s weeping brew pity at the pit of the robust doctor’s stomach. She’s heard tons of mothers’ wails and yells before yet, Seulgi thinks Irene’s are different.

Rather than a mother, she cries like a helpless little child.  

“Irene-ssi, it’s okay. You can calm down.” Seulgi talks in her most reassuring tone. “Your kid is going to be fine. You said she stopped choking, right? Because you gave her water?”

It takes a while but, Irene’s sobs extinguish into smaller snuffles and, Seulgi thinks she heard her say "Really?". Comforting her patients wasn’t her strength so, she feels relief when she senses Irene’s mood pick up at the news alone.

“Yeah, you did the right thing.” Seulgi catches her breath and launches in an explanation. “Silica gel are generally non-toxic - meaning they’re not poisonous when you eat them. They just tell you to keep them away from children because they’re choking hazards but, since you’ve stopped your kid from choking by giving her lots of water, she’s going to be fine now.”

“Really?” Irene repeats, still with a sliver of disbelief. “Seonsaengnim, are you absolutely sure? We don’t have to come to the hospital? She’s just going to live her normal life after this? No bad side effects? No anything?”

Ah yes, the usual machine gun of questions. Seulgi muses. She doesn’t take it personally when Irene doesn’t heed her advice at first try. Worrying parents aren’t new to her. There are always circumstances like this when they insist on rushing their kid to the hospital even when she tells them there’s absolutely no need. She’s sure they mean no ill intentions and like Irene, they just genuinely want to make sure their kid is going to be okay.

“Yes, Irene-ssi. I’m sure your child is going to be fine. She doesn’t need to be admitted. Just monitor her constantly and visit us if something happens.” Seulgi answers, trying to sound more credible. She's not really planning on bagging the Guiness World Record for the most number of ‘fines’ and ‘okays’ said in a span of a single conversation. "I genuinely don't think there's going to be any serious side effect."

There’s a moment of silence and after that, for the first time in the call’s duration, Seulgi thinks she hears Irene breathe, as an audible sigh of relief escapes from the other side of the phone line.

“Ah- I’m sorry, seonsaengnim if I sounded like I didn’t believe you. I do. I really do.” Irene clarifies too quickly that her voice cracks. It takes a while for her to re-compose herself but Seulgi insists on listening attentively. “I’m just not thinking straight right now.” 

“It’s okay, Irene-ssi. No need for apologies. I understand. It’s a normal parent reaction.” Seulgi replies, smiling at the other person who can’t even see her, because she made her say ‘it’s okay’ for the nth time.

“Thank you, seonsaengnim.” Irene hums a lot more relaxed and positive this time. “I’ll listen well now. Thank you for being patient with me.”

Seulgi nods. “No problem. Take care now, Irene-ssi.”

The doctor clicks the phone into its place and ends the call. At last, the adrenaline rush dies down. She lets her shoulders comfortably sag on the back cushion of her seat, flapping her white coat to cool herself down.  

“Oooooooh, that’s the longest call you’ve ever lasted.” Seungwan says intriguingly, wheeling her chair towards Seulgi. “It looked urgent. What was it this time? Somebody topped chicken vitamins guy?”

“I thought it was a failed suicide attempt at first because the voice was similar to a very weak panting girl. I was thinking of that one story Soojung-seonsaengnim told us about drinking caustics and burning your throat.” Seulgi shudders, readjusting her coat to hug her shoulders more. “But it turns out, she’s a parent calling because her child –“

“Swallowed silica gel?” Seungwan interrupts, rolling her eyes. Seulgi raises her eyebrows in affirmation. “How typical. Parents work too hard these days and can’t keep an eye on their kids.”

Seulgi’s fingers drum on her notepad and she replies defensively without thought. “I don’t know about that but, she did seem very sorry about it though. She didn’t take the whole thing well. It was like the world was crashing and burning around her right there and then.”

Seungwan scowls at Seulgi suspiciously.

“I mean – any sane parent would panic at their child choking and swallowing stuff that aren’t safe to consume.” She mutters more meekly this time, realizing she’s being too protective. Her newfound sympathy is seeping into her again as she recalls Irene’s guilty voice on the telephone. “I’m just saying that Irene seems to be fond of her kid and probably isn’t as negligent as you - ”

“Wait, Irene-ssi? Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before…” Seungwan echoes her name over and over, swiveling her chair slowly – a habit she did when she was trying to remember. She stops after a while when her brain comes up with nothing but a headache.  

“I can’t remember exactly but I’m sure I’ve heard her name from someone before.” The beige-haired doctor concludes, moving away to mind her own business. “Anyway, whoever she is, I hope she and her kid are okay now and that she learns her lesson to keep choking hazards away from children.”

Seungwan dismisses the topic completely and the music plays once more. Things return to their natural flow. Everything is normal and boring again at Myung Se’s toxicology call center. Well…everything except the gears churning in Seulgi’s head. Seungwan has stopped repeating the caller’s name but the young medic doesn’t seem to be quite over her yet. She can still hear her childlike pleading playing in her mind like a broken record.

To snap herself out of it, Seulgi slowly rips a piece of her notepad. The snip snip snips keep her occupied for a tiny fraction of the time but, when she finally holds the completely detached sheet in her hands, she’s drawn to it again.

She’s drawn to her again.

Written in Seulgi’s quick all caps pen scratches.

IRENE  

-------

“Are you thinking of that caller again? You’re distracted.” Seungwan states the obvious to Seulgi. The girl has been out of it in the entirety of their spontaneous dinner at the convenience store. It was so severe that even Sooyoung, their friend from the Family Medicine ward, and all her attention seeking extra-ness weren’t working. “Aside from the unusual non-response, I can also tell because I expected you to scarf down that ramyeon by the first minute.”

The trio stare at Seulgi's abandoned cup ramyeon with pity.

“Amen to that. You love ramyeon more than anything. This is some weird 180-degree shift.” Sooyoung scoffs at Seulgi and the noodle she’s rolling on her chopsticks snaps. Hers is almost half empty while Seulgi’s cup has soup filling it up to the brim. “You’re not the type to worry about work in the hospital when you’re not in it.”

“Bring our food vacuum friend back, you imposter!” Seungwan kids, threatening to poke Kang in the face with a plastic spoon when she remains unperturbed. It snaps the latter out of her trance. Seulgi shakes herself back to consciousness, noticing the utensil at her eye level.  She wrestles the spoon down the table.

“I’m not sure why I’m acting like this either. It’s been a long time since a patient tugged on my heartstrings.” Seulgi consequently proceeds to twirling her unattended ramyeon.

“That’s if you still HAVE any.” Seungwan points out, wagging her spoon again at her same age friend. “I think med school snapped all of our heartstrings years ago…”

The trio recall studying the skeletal architecture in a month, memorizing the origin, insertion, innervation and action of muscles for an 80 point quiz, dissecting their first cadaver, working on case reports, juggling their time to check up on patients, loaning who knows how much to pay for school and books and they all nod in agreement.

Seulgi sips on her soup lazily and cringes with distaste at its coldness. “I guess it was just the way she was desperately asking for help like she had no one else to cling to….Makes me think if she lives alone with her kid.”

“Well, more people are ending up at being single parents these days because life is hard and stuff so I really won’t be surprised if Irene-ssi is one of them.” Seungwan remarks grimly.

“Irene-ssi?” Sooyoung’s eyes light up at the mention of her name. The doctor with long raven black hair lets go of her cup and wipes in a hurry. Seulgi wonders why her friends keep having Eureka moments over a single namesake and with Sooyoung, hopefully, she is about to find out.

“I wonder if it’s Bae Irene…”

“Bae Irene!” Seungwan echoes loudly, clapping her hands together and her lips shaping into an ‘O’.  “Waaaah, Seulgi! I remember now! I’ve heard about Irene from Sooyoungie. That’s why the name sounded so familiar…”

“Do you know her well?” Seulgi asks the taller doctor, her curiosity winning over sense. The probability of them talking about the same Irene is uncertain but here she is jumping into conclusions. “The only identifying information I remember is her telling me she has a 3-year-old daughter...”   

“The Irene I know is a regular at the Family Medicine ward. You don’t get to see a lot of them these days but she’s one of them – folks with good health seeking behaviors. I see her and her kid, Ahreum, on my rotations all the time.” Sooyoung shares enthusiastically. “They get frequent check-ups and she’s always nice, really pleasant and young-looking for her age. Too bad her husband died shortly after their kid was born…oh – wait.”

Sooyoung pauses to think thoroughly. “I think that was about three years ago so…could it be Bae Irene, then?”

Seulgi imagines what it must be like – being a widow almost the same time as being a first-time mom – and sadness pangs her heart. Her conversation with Irene flashes in her head and it all clicks. Her apocalyptic retelling of the choking experience and her utter despair at thinking of losing her only family to tiny silica beads. It’s got to be her. It’s got to be the same Irene. Seulgi is not only jumping into conclusions now, she’s skydiving into them.

“Where do they live?” The rookie doctor isn’t allowed to ask it, but it slips any way. She’s been mulling over it the whole time -  how Irene and her kid were doing, what they looked like, who they were…and here she is, close to reaching the answers.  

At this, Seungwan widens her eyes and pushes her round specs back up her nose. “Whoa. Slow down there, Seul. I know you get soft for parents the most because your own parents are good to you but this is kinda out of line. You’re not planning on dropping by at their house, are you?”

"Something tells me that's exactly what she's planning." Sooyoung's eyebrow curls up. She takes in two small gulps of her bubble tea before speaking again. “Even if I did know, we’re not supposed to divulge information like that, are we?”

To that, Seungwan nods slowly, confronting her same age friend. “Drop the idea, Seul. It’s probably going to be weird on the Baes’ part if you come barging into their household unexpectedly in the middle of the night. You’re not even sure if Bae Irene’s the caller and besides, if she were, they’re probably both fine now or else we would have seen them getting admitted in the department.”

The comment urges Seulgi to backtrack to reality and stare blankly at her already dry noodles. Despite the opinion eliciting disappointed emotions from her, Seungwan’s point was valid and rational. It wasn’t Seulgi’s nature to care this much and it was overreacting to check on a family she hasn’t even met before. The latter exhales deeply.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’d totally look crazy.” Seulgi declares, at last, putting some noodles into to eat. “I did my part already. It’s none of my business anymo –“

“I texted you their address.” Sooyoung blurts out of all of a sudden, taking her two companions aback. She pockets her phone into her white coat with a smug smile.

“I thought you knew we weren’t supposed to give out stuff like that?!” Seungwan reprimands, her eyes about to leap out of their sockets. “That’s patient-doctor confidentiality!”

“I know, but I’m still a really bad amateur doctor, remember?” Sooyoung coolly replies at her alarmed friend. She pops out a chapstick from her purse and throws a wink at Seulgi. The latter checks her phone and indeed there it was – the Baes’ address – sitting on her inbox.

“Besides, it’s Seulgi. It’s not like she’s going to ransack their house or anything.” Sooyoung drawls on her friend’s name, emphasizing to Seungwan how harmless the act could possibly be. Her eyes glint as if she's conniving in secret. "Also, this will work in our favor, Son. Seulgi wants to see Irene, right? We give her what she wants. She gets it. She can stop zoning out about it and we can have our average food vacuum friend back."

The namebearer subconsciously bobs her head vigorously in accord. Yeah...maybe if I see her, then I can stop thinking about her. Her stomach suddenly feels full even without a proper meal and her feet are itching to go as if in agreement. In her mind is already a visual image of how she was going to get to the address in her messages. Seulgi is glad she's accustomed to traveling by herself.

Seungwan considers retaliating but resigns when she sees Seulgi’s eyes gleaming in anticipation. What could she do, really, when her friend’s already clutching her messenger bag, ready to disappear on their ramyeon date?  She closes her eyes and inhales sharply. “Don’t act strange and bring your hospital ID so you actually look like a doctor paying a house visit. We don’t want Irene calling the police suspecting you as a stalker. I’m not paying a single won for bail.”

“Oh, let her be! She’s going to be fine…” Sooyoung scolds, wiping off excess lipstick with her index finger. “It’s the first time she’s ever been interested into something that isn’t poisonous.”

“Ah! But, interest is poison and love is poison because everything is poison…” Seungwan recites, resting her chopsticks on the paper cup.

“…it’s the dose that makes the poison.” Seulgi finishes the infamous toxicology quotation, grinning at Sooyoung, who obviously has had enough of the duo’s inside jokes.

“Oh, don’t give me your Paracelsus , you nerds.”  

END OF CHAPTER ONE

a/n: Hi everyone! The first chapter is up! I was supposed to finish it on a Saturday but I got excited and uploaded it quickly. What did you think about it? I hope it isn’t too bad? I got this writing inspiration while I was sitting in one of my class lectures on pesticides. Thanks a lot for subscribing!! I hope you stay for Chapter Two because (spoiler alert!!!!) Irene’s finally appearing. >:D

P.S. Paracelsus is the father of toxicology and the person who's credited to have said the quotation. Also, keep away from choking hazards!!!! I'll be mentioning people who get in contact with toxic stuff a lot (either intentionally or accidentally) because my characters are doctors who work with them. Please do not attempt to imitate any of the stuff I'd be mentioning here.  ANDDDDDD, feel free to talk to me in the comments.