Kang Leeyun. This is a name Tiffany hasn’t seen in a whole year. Neither is it a name she wishes to see. Kang Leeyun. She is one half of a painful memory . . .

X

“Is this it? This is it?”

Leeyun is looking at anything but her.

“So this is it, huh.”

There is nothing but silence. Tiffany holds her breath. No way am I gonna cry in front of her. She is not gonna see my tears. No ing way.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry. It really doesn’t cure anything. Rather, it’s a tragic ending. Not for Leeyun. Only for herself. Three years and eight months of time spent together. Three years and eight months of being partners, sharing dreams, hopes, wishes, caring and supporting each other. All of that, ending with ‘I’m sorry’.

Gradual but obvious. The change in their relationship. The change in their dynamics. Unfortunately, the change is not for the better. For the last two months, things have been turning progressively bad. From daily conversations to daily small talk to almost nothing.

‘Sorry, I’m busy, ‘I’m meeting my project mates’, ‘I gotta work’, ‘I’m working late’. These have become the things Leeyun would say to her whenever she wants to spend time together. Even during the weekends.

“Is she someone you met at work?” Tiffany asks with more steadiness than she actually possesses.

“Kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“My company is working with hers. That’s how we met.”

“I see.”

Leeyun finally looks up and meets her eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

Tiffany shrugs. “I have nothing left to say. So, we’re breaking up tonight, I guess?” she says calmly, in spite of the mad thumping of her heart. “This is it.”

“I’ll move my stuff out as soon as I can.”

“Sure.”

X

That was just over a year ago. The night of the break up. And Tiffany hasn’t heard from her ever since. Until today. Until now.

I’m really sorry to say hi like that after all this time, but I’m shameless like that. I’d like to meet you. Please say yes. Please.

Leeyun is asking to meet up with her but Tiffany isn’t sure she should. Will it reopen the stitches that have healed? Will it hurt all over again? This is a question for Yuri to answer.

X

“Nope. Nope. Definitely not.”

“I don’t feel like seeing her again either but I feel like I shouldn’t avoid her. I mean, does it mean I’m not over her if I’m avoiding her like that?”

“Nothing good ever comes out of meeting an ex.”

“That’s not true.”

“It’s true for this one.”

“What if it goes well?”

“Even if it goes well, there’s nothing gained. Don’t forget, you have Taeyeon now.”

“I haven’t forgotten. At the same time, it sounds like she really wants to meet me.”

“Are you still hung up on her after all this time?”

Tiffany shakes her head. “I’m not. Whatever I had with her is in the murky, messy past. I’m happy now. I’m not hung up.”

“Okay.” Yuri exhaled heavily. “If you really wanna meet her this much, go ahead and do it or you’ll never stop thinking about it. Meet her, find out what she wants and that’s it. And remember to tell Taeyeon.”

Tiffany winces. “Damn. Telling Taeyeon about Leehyun when we’re only just starting to date. Is this dating suicide?”

“Welp,” Yuri shrugs, “You’ve already made up your mind to meet that horrible woman. Nothing’s gonna stop you, not even Taeyeon.”

“That’s not true.”

Yuri smirks. “If Taeyeon said no, would you take it?”

“You’re not being fair right now. Taeyeon and I aren’t even in a committed relationship yet.”

“We’re playing ‘what if’ now. Humour me. What if Taeyeon said no? What would you do?”

The question silences Tiffany for a moment. “Damn.”

“There’s my answer, babe. And that’s the problem with you. But you already know that.”

X

“Hey, sweetie.”

“Hey, sugar.”

Tiffany giggles until she is stabbed by guilt at the thought of what she’s about to heave onto this cute lady. “Whatcha doin’?” she asks. Yeah, might as well stall for time, right?

“I’m watching a movie.”

“Oh, what movie?”

“Annabelle.”

Tiffany checks her watch. It’s almost midnight. “At this time? Don’t you need to sleep? And won’t you be too scared to sleep?”

“Annabelle’s kinda funny,” Taeyeon replies with a yawn. “I’m actually feeling a little sleepy but I already started watching.”

“There’s this thing called a pause button, sweetie.”

“I know that, sugar.”

Tiffany giggles again. “Are you gonna call me sugar from now on?”

“Only if you call me sweetie.”

“What if I call you honey?”

“Still sugar.”

Oh my God. Quit stalling and say it already. But she’s watching a movie and it’s late and she has to sleep. this. I’ll tell her tomorrow.

“I should call you cutie instead. You’re so cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You are.”

“Okay, sugarbabe. I’m not gonna start playing this childish elementary school game with you.”

“Fine,” Tiffany lies down on her bed and lets out a long sigh.

“Woah, that sounded tired. Is something wrong? Or is it way past your bedtime, sugarbaby?”

“Oh my God. Sugarbaby. I might have met my match.”

“Are you avoiding my question?”

Taeyeon might be too astute for me. “I do have something on my mind but this isn’t the right time to talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“’Cos it’s late?”

“It’s only midnight.”

“It’s only midnight?”

“I have an hour before bedtime so it’s not too late. Unless you don’t feel like talking about it.”

“No, I do wanna talk about it. I just didn’t wanna affect your rest time.”

“I’m fine. Tell me.”

Tiffany shut her eyes and throws her arm over them. Here we go. For better or for worse. “It’s about someone I used to know.”

“I’m listening.”

So Tiffany tells Taeyeon all about her ex. Three years and eight months. They met in her final year of university. And broke up in Leehyun’s final year of university. How ‘poetic’. And the rebound boyfriend for a month was even more ‘poetic’, since he was an actual poet but had no means of supporting himself and was living off his parents. Then came an architect boyfriend of three months. He was decent, had no serious bad habits but he turned out to be extremely homophobic and broke up with her once he found out about her ex-girlfriend.

After those two whirlwind romances, she took a break from dating for a while before dating Mirin, another sugarbabe she met during a collaboration project with another concierge company. That ended about a month before meeting Taeyeon for the second time in Pot Shot.

“Wait. So the guy you were with when we kissed . . . was he your boyfriend at that time?”

Tiffany smiled as she shook her head. Then she realized Taeyeon couldn’t see her. “No, he wasn’t.”

“But you two looked pretty close that night. I remember thinking he was your boyfriend.”

“I remember kissing you but I don’t remember kissing him at all. He was—let’s just say he was uninspiring that night,” Tiffany said with a laugh.

“Oh.”

“Does the fact that I had one night stands bother you?”

“I don’t think it’s the smartest thing to do but you’re an adult. You know what you’re doing.”

Damn this girl says all the right and wrong things. Tiffany sighs, deeper this time. “I don’t think it’s the smartest thing either. But I wasn’t acting smart back then. I was . . . deliberately reckless, I guess? I had gotten to such a low point after the many failures and I was sick of it. I wanted something I couldn’t fail at. But that morning I woke up and looked at the ceiling. That peeling ceiling.”

A choking sound came through the phone.

“No, it wasn’t the room we were in. I made sure to get a different room.”

“Oh, thank God.”

In spite of her mood, Tiffany laughs. “Anyway, I came to my senses and I stopped doing that. The man you saw that night was the last one.”

“Really?”

“Don’t believe me?”

“No, I do. It’s just . . . wow. I saw you with your last one night stand and we kissed in front of your last one night stand. Then I met you again at the same place. And now we’re talking like this.”

“It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Want to know something crazier?” Other than me?

“What?”

The sound of Taeyeon breathing calms Tiffany’s heart. “My ex from a year ago texted me today and asked to meet.”

“The one you dated for three years and eight months?”

“Yes.”

“The one you were waiting for to graduate before proposing?”

“Yes.”

Taeyeon is silent again.

“Taeyeon? Sweetie?” Tiffany calls after a while. “Please say something.”

“Something.”

At least she can still joke. That’s a good sign, right? “Do you have anything else to say?”

“I don’t know what else to say.”

“What?”

“Are you pre-breaking up with me?”

The gentle way Taeyeon asks the question fills Tiffany’s heart with a kind of warmth that reaches even the deepest, furthest corner. “No, no way, sweetie. No ing way.”

“So, you’re not gonna get back with your ex?”

“No. I don’t know how I ended up telling you the history of my love life.” Tiffany rubs her forehead as she sighs again. This is it. I messed up. ing screwed up. “I only wanted to tell you about my ex because I don’t think it’s a good idea to meet her without telling you. And I wanted to ask if it would bother you if I meet her.”

“Wow.”

“I know. It’s a lot.”

“It is.”

“Well, would it make you super uncomfortable if I meet her?”

“I’m a little conflicted, to be honest. We’re only just starting out. I—I don’t know how to say this.”

Tiffany smiles. “I think I know what you’re trying to say.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I know what to do.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’ll meet her and see what she’s up to. And I’ll tell you all about it if you want to hear about it.”

“Okay. See? That didn’t take a lot of time.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s half past midnight now.”

“We should go to sleep.”

“We should.”

“Okay.”

Tiffany chuckles. “You go first.”

“No, you go.”

“Let’s go together.”

“Oh my God. The cringe.”

“One, two, three. Goodnight, Taeyeon.”

“Goodnight, Tiffany.”

X