Member: Jun

7am.

Early morning that weekend, your phone rang from Seungcheol's call. It wasn't usual for him to call you this early because your friendship hasn't reached that extent yet but still, you picked it up, eyes shut closed from tiredness.

"Seungcheol,.. what's the matter?" You mumbled, hoping Seungcheol would understand what you just said. Last night was a blast, you went to a friend's party and came home drunk. Now your head is pounding hard from hangover.

"Jun needs you." His voice was low as if he doesn't want anyone to hear him. Why did you even ask? It's most likely the reason why he would call. Jun needs you. Again. There's nothing surprising. You slowly pushed yourself up from slumber at the mention of his name.

"Why? What's wrong?" You tried to fight the tiredness that is fresh in your system because if it's about Jun, everything about you is pushed aside and he's priority.

"I don't know, he won't tell. Did you fight?" Impossible. You grumbled a no because you really rarely even do. "Then he'll tell you what's wrong. Please just come over first. We are all stressed because of him."

Jun is a responsible person in many ways but one way that he's not is when it comes to handling his own situations and solving his own problems. There is probably nothing he can do properly by himself when you're not around because he's the type to always let his emotions eat his sanity. It's a major problem he hasn't fixed yet but atleast you're there to put him back on his track.

"Alright. Just keep him there." You exhaled deep as you ended the call. He really never fails to make everyone worried, especially you. It's just a huge relief for s that you're there and you're always close.

One call.

It's all that it takes for you to come running to Jun whenever he needs you. It's either you're so susceptible or he's just that special that you are willing to go out of your way for him. Whatever the reason is doesn't change the fact that you are always ready when it's Jun even when it doesn't go exactly the same way when it's you who needs him.

You arrived in their dorm, lightning speed, and the boys are already eagerly waiting for you on their doorstep as if you're some delivery from their favorite fastfood restaurant. Among them was Soonyoung, Jun's roommate, who is extra expecting you this early because he couldn't bring himself to enter their room since last night, shaded with his fear of adjusting to the chilly aura because Jun wasn't on the mood.

"Thank god, finally!" Soonyoung's face looks tired and bothered. Bags are already starting to darken his undereyes from stress after spending a long night on the couch. "It's so cold but I had no choice but to sleep outside since he locked himself in again." There's really nothing unusual with it. The boys just never got used to it.

"And where's your key?" Soonyoung opened his palms to a small piece of steel, at the same time opening yours to hand it. "You should've opened it then."

"No, I won't dare. But you would." You simply exhaled and shook your head slowly. Of course, who else has the guts but you?

Interfering with Jun's privacy is last on your list but you are troubled by the thought of him already hanging himself in there. He's not the type to do self harm but there's a lot someone could do if things get super hard and you don't want him to result into any of that just in case. Also, you are left with no choice but to intrude because the stubborn guy will never open the door no matter how hard you knock if he decides to isolate himself from the world so for everyone's sake, you will do it.

All 12 members are trailing almost in tiptoes behind you, overlooking as you cautiously pushed the door open. Their quiet breaths and murmurs are the only sounds to be heard. You turned and glared at everyone as soon as you saw Jun's figure. Sleeping. Seeing him like that was relieving but also a bit annoying that this is what the boys interrupted your rest for— to find Jun sleeping soundly on his bed.

"Seriously?" No way they called you just to wake him up.

"He banged his door last night, didn't eat dinner and hasn't come out for breakfast." Now that's something more serious. Jun skipping one meal is already super rare and the fact that he missed two means he's undergoing something really bad to the point that he'd take his hunger for granted.

"Don't worry. I got this." Shaking your head again, you entered his room.

Bad sleeping beauty snoozed leaving s worrying. If he doesn't get his out of his room to even eat, you're pushing him out. You always tell him to be responsible enough for his own self but he still results to self destruction every single time.

"Junhui," You sat on the space beside him, his back facing you. You tapped his shoulders lightly and repeatedly to wake him up. "Hey, Junhui."

"Hm,..?" He grunted and shifted to the other side so he was facing you. His eyes are closed but you can see that they're droopy. His lips are swelled too and bags darkened his underyes.

"Wen Junhui, wake up." You pushed the loose strands of his hair away from his face so you can see him clearly. He felt the warmth of your hands on his skin and that's when he realized that he's now half awake and not dreaming.

"*YN*," He slowly opened his eyes to confirm if you're real and when he realized that you are, he didn't speak for a moment and just stared at you. He pressed a small sad smile.

"Come on, you have to eat and we need to talk." You tried to sound soft and caring because he looks so fragile already. You don't want to see him collapse right in front of you.

He closed his eyes for a good second after hearing your sweet voice as he inhaled his tears back before getting up to hug you. He sank in your arms, his face buried on your neck. This is the best way he knows to console himself and make it feel like everything's okay. You're choked, not because of his embrace but because your heart breaks to see him this sad.

"What took you so long?" His voice vibrated on your skin. He wasn't crying but you can feel him sniffling, your hand automatically ran circles on his back to soothe the heaviness he feels somehow.

"Dare ask?" You roll your eyes. "I probably still won't be here if the guys didn't tell me."

The last time you talked was yesterday morning, you were the grumpy one because of stress and he definitely sounded okay, even said some random puns to make you laugh so it was honestly a surprise when Seungcheol phoned you. Jun's voice wasn't this blue yesterday.

"I just don't want to bother you." He pulled away from you, sitting up straight, resting his back on the head board of his bed but his eyes not leaving you.

"You're not okay and that bothers me more. The members said you didn't even eat." For the time you've been together, you know Jun like the back of your hands. You could easily tell what he feels but even so, you still need a word from him if he wants you to help or just stay out of it. Most of the time he lets you in because no one can help him solve his problems better than you but there are times that he just doesn't want anyone to in.

"We fought." You knew it. So predictable, to the extent that asking him about what it is all about had only become part of formality. There isn't much to solve about his problems because it always turns out to be the reason as you guessed. "I'm such an awful boyfriend. I can't even make my girlfriend happy. All I do is disappoint her." Her. It doesn't even surprise you anymore, that girl is his problem like always but hearing him say it still infuriates you. What exactly is so special about her that Jun always let himself turn into a mess when they fight? You can see no reason for him to do so much for her but maybe only the fact that she's his girlfriend answers all your questions.

Was it a slap on your face? That you are just a friend? Just a girl and just a friend but not the girlfriend? Well, partly, but you don't think about it much because it just heightens the level of hate you have for her. Sure, they seldom fight but when they do, whatever the root of the cause is, Jun always ends up as the bad guy even if he didn't do anything wrong. It's definitely not unusual, next to this would be his different degrees of self torture that drags s to the mess he became. It's just all relieving for them that this ends up with you and you are always to the rescue— the final stop. You truly are the god-sent friend who knows how to fix him everytime the other girl breaks him.

She is the alpha, you are the omega.

You assemble the havoc she leaves.

"She asked for space." Jun sighed. His mood not lifting even a bit even after you arrived.

"Space?? It's better if she had gone to NASA. You can barely even name all of the planets!" You rolled your eyes. Space is like the most common reason someone would pull out to escape an argument in a relationship. You would hundred percent understand and buy that reason if that girl has not used it multiple times. She asks for space every single fight. "If I just knew you'd get yourself a girlfriend who seems to be an aspiring astronaut, I shouldn't have asked you to cut Environmental Science before."

"Shut up, I'm serious!" Your heart eased up a bit when he chuckled. Atleast you're serving your purpose well— lighting him up in dark times.

"Don't laugh, Wen Jun. I'm serious too, I'm getting so fired up." You ran a hand on your hair, disheveling the strands. Jun looked at you with amusement, also wondering why you treat his problems as if it's your own sometimes he doubts if it was really his problem in the first place. "What's wrong with her? Like, she begins the fight always and then blames you for it as if she's the victim."

Not just this but many other previous moments Jun ran to you for help, it all narrows down to one single reason— her mood swings. It depends, really, there are times when they only need a small talk and there are times when Jun must walk on thorns just so they would make up. Like now, he must've gone the hard parts and yet, she's not giving in. Her mood swings are so out of this world and you couldn't relate. You never had this weird of a mood swing ever even on days where hormonal changes happen sometimes you feel like she's just making random excuses to keep Jun away and leave him hanging.

"I don't want us to break up." What a fool, always stressing over that matter. It will actually be a good news not just for you but also for the members and you can leave things as it is so they would separate but you wouldn't do that to Jun. This whole thing only brings misery to him and you don't want that. You can't stand seeing him dispirited and gray. "I know you never liked interfering in us but—" His face looks so apologetic.

"Like this is the first time I'll interfere? Junhui, the moment you had her as your girlfriend, I already had an access over all this." Even though you hate it. Because everything that concerns him concerns you, and vice versa. He smiled at you before pulling you to a big bear hug once more. Sometimes you hope he stops doing it.

"Thank you. You really are the bestest best friend I could ever have and I'm so lucky. I love you so much." It could have been fluttering, really,— the words he just said, but the words love and friend doesn't sound good together in one sentence. It hurts, if any.

"Tell me something I don't know." You mumbled, halfhearted and dead. "Let's get you something to eat first."

You're not immune and certainly not numbed, sad to say. It only became ordinary. They fight, you help, they make up, you're pushed aside. Then they fight again, you regret giving help the last time but you still offer it again, and the story goes on. You always choose to associate yourself like it doesn't affect you. You broke yourself many times trying to fix Jun and his relationship. You can be a masochist, because you're addicted to the pain Jun gives, but you won't call yourself one, because you never really liked hurting.

***

She's the alpha, you are the omega.

Whatever you do, she's always steps ahead of you.

Like how a typhoon comes and leaves, Jun's relationship eventually calmed down and came back stronger. And just as always, you were back to your original place in the shadows, as the irrelevant side kick, the extra in this romance movie. An important character that has no decided ending or if there is, not in this story, not in their story. Nevertheless, you'll play it well because this might be the one and only role you have in Jun's life. And if this way you could remain beside him, you'll gladly accept however you end up.

"Jun is so dumb." Wonwoo sat beside as you are overlooking the veranda, two cans of beer were in his hands. You are back in their dorm again but this time not for rescue because right there you can see a happy and giggling Jun, walking to a date with his girlfriend, catching up on each other. "You will not become a saint from being a martyr of love." He opened the untouched can before handing it to you.

"Thanks." You gladly took it although you have no plans of intoxicating yourself in this broad daylight. Maybe a sip, hoping it would impossibly overpower the pinches you feel in your heart. "Good thing I'm not applying to be a saint."

"Why do you even put up with all these? It obviously hurts you." You really don't expect anyone to understand why you're doing all of this for one oblivious guy. You don't want to explain yourself either. Having it as a topic is difficult enough and you honestly just want to get over it.

"I'm returning a favor, Wonwoo. I owe Junhui so much and I can't just leave him because of my own personal feelings." You pressed your lips to a familiar sad smile. Your smiles never looked genuine enough when Jun and his girl are around. Everyone knows that you're trying hard not to look so hurt when they are together except for Jun.

"I don't know about that. Seems like he's the one indebted." That's because he hasn't heard the whole story yet. Most of the memories you have, may it be good or bad, you share it with Jun. He occupies a big part in your life for a long time to the extent that you can't remember how life was before he came.

It was 7 years ago when you returned to Korea, alone, and you met him in the airport. You only approached him for directions, speaking to him in fast Korean only to realize that he was actually Chinese when he stared at you and mumbled a small 'shénme'. Little did you know that it would be the start of an inseparable relationship. As bestfriends.

"Still," You take another sip, feeling the bitterness line your throat. "I only have him,.. even if he has her." The taste of the alcohol slowly resembling your smile.

Wonwoo just nodded, deciding to stop digging deeper and just sympathize with you because it seems you mostly need it. The members would all probably feel the same. They've seen you broken plenty of times, even more often than seeing you actually happy. You don't tell them but they all know how you feel, how you truly feel.

The next days weren't too good for you. Your parents fought while you were on video call, school never felt so stressful with all the exams and deadlines, plus the head ache that wakes you up every morning and you don't know why. Misfortunes are accumulating, hitting your emotional stability and your patience and if you can only pick the worst week of your life, this would definitely be it. Good thing you always have a go to person, an emotional support whenever you need one. Or so you thought. Because when you came looking for him hoping to relieve some negativity, the first thing he said when you entered his room felt so unwelcoming.

"I think she's really breaking up with me. For real." How can you even complain and start ranting when he looks more devastated than you are? You leave out a sigh.

"If she asked for space again, just give it." Your voice doesn't have any tinge of energy left in it, a stoic expression on your face. You have no time for this, you're having difficulties too but he doesn't even notice.

"No, this one's different. She admitted her fault the last time we talked, even said sorry." Jun stood and walked back and forth to prove his point. He looks at you from time to time but his eyes barely sees the sadness in yours. His worries are everything that's in his mind.

"That's a good thing then." You pressed a smile despite the gloom.

"But she refuses to talk to me even after I forgave her." He finally settled on sitting beside you on his bed, waiting for a response that could probably enlighten him but you have none. You are not as complicated as his girlfriend anyway and her acting so unreadable everytime is hard for you to decipher also.

"Maybe you need time. Both of you." How ironic is it that the reason you least want to hear from Jun's girlfriend is the same advice that you give him? You have nothing to say. You looked away and his eyebrows knit when you did, a bit disappointed that you are not showing any interest. You just want to find a way to insert your problems in the conversation but Jun doesn't seem like he's ready to listen. He's too focused on his own rants to care. There's tension in the air but only you acknowledge it.

"It's been weeks and that's enough time. We haven't fought this long before." You honestly can't absorb everything he wants you to hear now, you can't give him a proper advice either. Your mind is not in it's most stable state and a part of you doesn't want to listen too especially because it's all about her again and it just weighs your emotional baggage. But you can't let your bestfriend down so you just sat there with him as his rants resumed. The words he says enter your one ear and exits the other smoothly, and his questions are simply answered with generic love advice that you didn't even think of.

For some reason, it felt unfair. Whenever he needs you, you are always there but when it's you who needs him, he doesn't even make you feel that he's ready to help or even listen. It's not always a sunny day for you and you need to share his umbrella at times too but he doesn't even open it. Actually, even if it's already more than painful to see him with her and to hear him talk about her, it wouldn't compare to the extreme heartbreak you feel when you see him lose all care he has for you, his bestfriend, because of her.

Now with all those thoughts filling your head, the bottled up negative emotions are slowly coming out. You don't want to take it out on Jun so you hold it in but you have to leave or else you couldn't take it further.

"Junhui,.." You called him with the most serious tone so he'd listen. Unsaid words are floating in your mind. I had a hard time today. Can you listen just this once? There's so much you want to tell him but you only ended up staring, mouth slightly open, finding the right words to say other than those you really want. "I... Junhui, I have a report to finish tonight. I have to go."

His eyebrows slowly creased from what you said, feeling indifferent. He's not even done talking yet and he needs you to listen. He also wants to hear your opinion about this because he's really confused and no one can enlighten him better than you. He hasn't seen you in days too, until now, and he wanted to catch up, maybe watch a movie or have dinner after this talk but you're suddenly leaving him feeling unnecessarily guilty. "But we haven't seen each other for almost a week for the same reason."

"I'm sorry. You'll be fine, I promise." You cut the conversation, pressing a smile, mood totally ruined and still, emotionally unstable. He pulled you to hug but you made it short by pulling away. You tapped his shoulder for some comfort before taking your things and walking out his room. "I'll see you soon."

It wasn't the best way to escape but atleast he bought the excuse you offered.

The members saw your clear eyes glistening with unshed tears as you bid them goodbye and they want to click their tongues in the disappointment they have for Jun. No apology can express how sorry they are whenever they see you in pain with him and what's worse is that he doesn't even have a single clue. It's right to say that they are living witnesses of the efforts you give and how all of those are just taken for granted when this girl, who doesn't know anything but to hurt him, suddenly enters the frame. They know that it is bound to happen that you'll break at some point and all they wish before it happens is that Jun opens his eyes and finally realize that he doesn't need anyone else, but you.

You're just there. You've always been.

Days passed and your discontent with Jun still remained unsettled. You didn't see him even if you said you will, you also didn't talk to him or even left a message since then because you don't want to approach him halfheartedly. Jun also didn't extend a hand for you, which was worse. You had your own personal reasons for avoiding him but you can't remember him having any and it makes you feel so terrible that he actually ignores you for no reason now. Maybe because you're not his priority? Well, you've known that for quite a while now but it just really hurts to face and experience the reality that he wouldn't give a bit of a damn care about how you are doing when he has his girlfriend around. He only remembers your existence when they fight.

"Hyung, just say sorry. Noona is not that hard to please." Chan and Soonyoung were occupying half of Jun's bed, playing their mobile games the noisiest way possible. "Hoshi hyung, don't fire at me! We're allies!"

Jun exhaled heavily. "I already did that multiple times but it's still not enough." The messages he sent in different platforms are one, now his calls are unanswered too.

"What about surprising her with food? She doesn't like flowers that much anyway." Chan slammed his phone down and glared at Soonyoung who's now staring clueless at him. "You killed me, Hoshi hyung."

"Chan, she loves flowers." Jun remains unbothered by their discord.

"Junhui is pertaining to his girlfriend." Soonyoung recovered from his loss, disregarding the last things Chan said. His tone was filled with malice, as if implying something. "Not the girl who's always here."

"Oh? I always liked the other noona though." Chan shrugged, his voice slowly getting inaudible as he said his truth, starting another game but this time only by himself.

"I know." Soonyoung transferred and rolled in his sheets beside Jun's, keeping himself busy with his phone. They would all agree with Chan. They all think of you as the most fitting girl for Jun, except for him. And it's not even because you're his bestfriend. There are lots of reasons they could see as to why you are fit for each other. "I think you should fix things with *YN* first."

"What do you mean? Last time I checked, we are okay." Not that they are siding with you. They really like his girlfriend too, she's nice and sweet, as a person, but it's not enough to say that they fit each other.

"Are you really?" Soonyoung looked at him over his phone so he would have no choice but to give a reply. "She hasn't been around lately."

It then began to occur to him. True, you haven't seen him since you last talked in his room. You didn't approach him or anything too but there also wasn't anything that you fought over about in particular. You also don't answer the few calls he did and it's so seldom that you reply to his selected messages, which are mostly about school, and it can sometimes be very late. It was so odd but he thought you were just busy.

"I don't know.