Member: Dokyeom

Gloomy Sunday morning. You woke up to the sound of the rain hitting the roof. Weekends are supposed to be for rest but not your weekends. You prepared yourself, because you have to, and left the house for the long day ahead.

Sometimes you're just amazed at how you're still not used in living the life you were born to. The physical, emotional and mental stress, you just want it to end. Although it probably won't any sooner. Maybe these problems really twin with poverty.

"A girl's lost in her own thoughts again." You can only thank God for Seokmin because he pulls you back into your senses. He put down a tray, food for two on it.

"Eh?" Like the usual, he paid for your food and you will make a fuss out of it anytime soon.

"Shhh, I know. But you're planning to starve yourself again and I won't let you do that." His voice was calm but firm. "Plus, you're doing something free for me today. Think of it as a treat."

Right. Seokmin reckoned he needs a bit of tutoring so he summoned you to that cafe. It was the least you could do for him before you start the day and you can't say no. Not atleast to him. Well, an hour or two is enough, Seokmin was never the demanding type anyway.

"I was just looking for something cheap in the menu." When actually there's nothing cheap that you see. "You're not even sure if I eat this."

"Oh! Do you not? I can order again if you want." He was flustered with your statement.

"No I mean, Seokmin, you don't have to pay."

"Excuses rounds up to that, huh? I can feed you myself too if you won't touch your food." He raised the spoon but you took it instead and shove it in your mouth. He's just too over at times.

"Please," It's very important for you that he doesn't use his money recklesslely. Moreover to feed you and you aren't letting his purposely thrown cute acts to take over you. "I'm really not comfortable if you spend your money for me."

"Doing this gives me peace so please just let me." He returned your seriousness and it was clear in his eyes. It rarely happens but when it does you just can't respond. "Just do me favor and finish your food." This stubborn guy never fails when it comes to talking.

"Thank you." You could only sigh, feeling defeated somehow. It was just the best fitting response you could give him for now but you will find a way to repay him.

"You're most welcome." His cheeks swelled from food as he smiled. "Anyway, you seem occupied. Is there something wrong?"

"I was just thinking of ways to pay my tuition fee." It's like a semi annual problem, yes every sem. Tomorrow is the due date for it and you already wrote numerous promisory notes, unfortunately all of it were rejected. "Or else I can't enroll some units for next semester."

"I hope you're not planning to add another job because you're already so overworked." Concern is painted all over his face. As much as he wants to help you, there's only a limit to what he can do.

"I can do this. Don't worry." You gave him half a smile because you also lack the confidence. The due date is just hours away and there's no way you can get that amount of money overnight.

"Are you sure? I can-"

"Seokmin," This way you'll prevent him from speaking before he volunteers again. "I'll find a way. But for now it's better if I start tutoring you." Before you forget your reason there, you initiated to begin. Good thing Seokmin just nodded to it without further negotiations.

Life isn't lived if you don't suffer but this is more like a punishment. Your parents died in a car crash after you graduated high school and since then you had to earn a living for yourself. No parents, no siblings, no relatives, no family friends. There are times when even you fascinate yourself for holding on and getting through this long because honestly, there are no sweet days. Every single day is like a 24-hour trip to hell that even in sleep haunts you. Not until this ball of sunshine was sent.

Seokmin.

Somehow, there's still a reason to consider yourself blessed- having someone like him. He's everything you could ask for, a friend, a brother and at times like a father especially when he nags about stuff as if he knows too well. He also cheers you up when you're down, he listens to your stories, your rants about life, he talks to you and he's just simply there. Presence has never been a very big deal.

Tutoring that day ended when Mingyu arrived to collect his friend, signals the beginning of your real life. A barista, a gasoline station girl, a convenience store cashier, again a tutor and up to giving away flyers. Those are the lives that kept you living for years now. Even though it can't give you the assurance of surviving the financials of this sem, especially because tuition fees rose up again, you'll get through it.

Sir, ma'am, can I have an advance for this month? It was your fixed line the whole day, setting your pride aside. Fortunately no one declined you, or atleast after a few talks and complaints, so when it was time for your last job you had half of your tuition fee at hand. Now you're supposed to find out where to get the other half. The night is deepening but the streets are still busy, there has to be somewhere that needs your work. But, you have to finish handing the flyers first.

Exhaustion hits you, you sat for a while. Your legs already feel numb and sore but you didn't mind it. Paying that amount is all you have in mind now and no one will help you but yourself. If only you have parents, but it's not something that you'll mourn about today.

"Mom, Dad, don't be bothered in your rest with the way I look. I'm fine, I'm doing my best to pursue our dream." Sweat and oil from your hardwork on your skin. There weren't tears to fall anymore anyway. Pain and suffering must've used it all up. "But just in case, if you could ask God to send help. I don't think he hears me well from here."

You sighed, flyers in your hand are wrinkled from sweat. There's no harm in believing that God will help you. You just have to ask.

Right then, a familiar loud voice dominated the noise of your thoughts and the car honks in the street. "You're not done yet?"

"Seokmin?" Could he be the help you asked for? Really, this quick? You wish you're wrong because you're already so indebted from him. "Why are you here at this hour?" 

"I needed some fresh air so I went out for a walk. Also because the stars look pretty tonight."

"You live far from here. How is that considered a walk?"

"A long walk,.. and the stars look exceptionally pretty here." He stared at you intently after making an odd excuse for himself.

You chuckled, looking back at the sky. He's right. The stars indeed look pretty. But no matter how much they shine,  they will never amuse you.

"Stars are just rocks." You muttered, glaring at the little white dots above you. "I hate them for being insensitive."

His head turned to you, eyebrows furrowed. "What makes you say so?"

"Look at them, they shine and twinkle so bright up there but the people below them are in darkness and suffering." They may be pretty to most people's eyes but you have your own way of discerning their purpose. "I don't know, maybe I'm just envious."

"Well, stars also give us a lesson that only in darkness we can shine." With those words, your gaze traveled to him and found him smiling at you. The brightest he could, half moons formed by his eyes. It gave you a different level of comfort.

"You do know that you didn't sound like yourself, right?" You both laugh at your remark.

"Just try to be optimistic sometimes. I'm always here, okay?" There are times you wish his words don't resemble the dazzle in his eyes because you weren't sure if it make you see clear or just blind you. Although Seokmin is not the type to deceive people. "Anyway, until what time are you planning to hand these?" He snatched the leftover flyers on your hand and stood.

"You don't have to help me." As if you could really stop him, he was already handing the flyers. "But t-thank you."

It was indeed a scene when he started the work. All because women gathered around him, unconsciously grabbing leaves of flyers, with a touch of his hand. Just wow. He's not really a crush material at school but maybe he suits older women's taste. He really created a sight but atleast you finished in no time.

"Thank you, Seokmin." You gave him a faint smile before nudging his side. "Noonas seem to find you cute, huh?"

"Do you?"

Your head immediately turned to face him. "Come again?" You must've interpreted it wrong.

"Do you fi