What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like:
“Are you still up?”
“Yeah, I started binge watching this show on Netflix.”

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bull.”

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?” – AU

Crossposted from AO3.