Nayoung sits still on her bed pondering yet again about Haebin's offer for her to move into the student hall. Nayoung sighs, knowing that it has been on her mind for a long while now. She reaches for her mobile phone and while she opens up her message chat with Haebin, Nayoung hears her bedroom door swift open and she sees her mother. 

"Ah, you're up," her mother says. 

"Yeah," Nayoung answers plainly. 

"Get out and have breakfast," her mother instructs, and she complies, putting her mobile phone down. "Aigoo, your sleeping in on Saturdays are getting later and later."

"Right, I was out with Mimi umma at the market just now, she said Mimi's been acting slightly weird since yesterday. You know what it's about?" her mother speaks again. 

Mimi unnie's been weird? "Geurae? I don't know," Nayoung shakes her head. 

Her mother leaves the room while Nayoung remains wondering about the older girl. 

Speaking of which, Sejeong has been the only one to reply her in their group chat since last night. Mimi said some pretty strange stuff in their phone call too, while Nayoung was shopping. Nayoung tilts her head and scratches it.

Nayoung gets at her mobile phone once again and reaches her chat with Sejeong. 

Sejeong ah, let's get over to Mimi unnie's later. I'll probs be there around 2pm.

・・・

"Ah Nayoungie! You're here?" Nayoung is welcomed by the warm greeting of Mimi's mother is she steps into the neighbouring home. "Mimi's in her room," she informs Nayoung. 

"Ne, excuse me," Nayoung walks in and bows before going straight for Mimi's room. 

"Mimi unnie?" Nayoung says as she gently pushes the door open. 

"Ah. You're here?" Mimi flashes a dead smile at Nayoung, looking up from her bed. 

"Your off-shoulder top," Nayoung hands a plastic bag over to Mimi, who reaches out for it then places it beside her bed. 

"Ah, gomawo," Mimi replies. "Right, I need to pay you."

"Just get me a meal another day," Nayoung casually suggests. 

"Ne, it may be cheaper than this though," Mimi responds with a smug smile. 

"Yahh! You better not," Nayoung glares at Mimi. "Anyway, what's wrong with you?" Nayoung asks as she lays herself down on Mimi's bed next to the latter.

Before Mimi can answer, the door is flung open and they are greeted by Sejeong.

"Hello!" the girl enthusiastically says, while the door smashes itself against the wall.

"Wow, you're a real ahjussi, even your entrance is as grand as the town mayor," Mimi speaks with sarcasm as she sits up. Nayoung, too, seats herself up.

"Unnie, why did you ask me to come here?" Sejeong nudges Nayoung when she sits on the bed with the older girls.

"You asked her to come?" Mimi is confused, feeling slightly intrudged by the presence of her two younger friends.

"Your umma said you've been weird," Nayoung reasons, "and you haven't been replying texts either."

Mimi lies down again and sighs. Deciding to be upfront, since it's Nayoung and Sejeong anyway, she says, "I met her yesterday."

"Who?" Sejeong and Nayoung ask in unison.

"Shin. Bo. Ra," Mimi pronounces her name syllable by syllable. She sighs again at the mention of her name. "I even chanced upon an ancient Polaroid photo of us while at home. What a fantastic series of events."

"Who? That unnie who'd follow you home all the time when you first met?" Nayoung's jaw drops.

"That girl you kissed during your high school graduation?" Sejeong yells at the top of her lungs. 

"Yahh Kim Sejeong!" Mimi immediately sits up and jokingly attempts to choke Sejeong. "My umma could hear you," she hisses.

"It's true! And it's not like any of us other than you have kissed a girl before-"

"Shut up," Mimi interrupts, "Nayoung's done it before," she points an accusing finger at Nayoung. 

"Mwo? It wasn't a kiss-" Nayoung shoots daggers at Mimi with her eyes.

"Naong unnie? Jinjja? Who did she kiss?" Sejeong does not reduce her volume, nor was she listening to Nayoung. 

"Haebinnie, during their last year in middle school," Mimi casually answers. Nayoung facepalms.

・・・

"Yahh, you, go home and study. Have your dinner and study, you have your entrance exams in two months," Nayoung hollers while giving Sejeong's a tight smack. By now, the girls have been talking for four hours since.

"Yahh! It hurts!" Sejeong yells.

"Ah jinjja, my room is filled with noisy idiots," Mimi casually comments.

"Mimi unnie your statement is invalid," Nayoung responds with a similar tone. 

"Arasseo, my grades and my future are more important than you anyway," Sejeong gets up as she says so.

"Heol, you're unbelievable," Nayoung wrinkles her nose. "I'm going!" she says as Sejeong takes her leave.

・・・

Nayoung has her dinner at Mimi's place, before the girls retreat into Mimi's room again with two cans of beer, and they begin their talking again.

"So you saw her while I was at Itaewon," Nayoung and Mimi lie on their fronts on Mimi's bed when gazing out of the window. 

"I saw her after I dropped you off. Took me a while to recognise her though," Mimi plainly replies. 

"It took me ages to recognise Haebin too," Nayoung answers in a similar fashion. 

"Ah, but you at recognising faces. You'll just say they look familiar at first sight, but then take ages to actually recognise the person," Mimi releases a weary chuckle. 

"I honestly didn't expect that you'd remember that I've ever kissed Haebin," Nayoung says before taking another sip of beer. "And oh, it wasn't an actual kiss, it was just a peck on her forehead," Nayoung attempts to clear her name. 

"Of course I remember. You used to always complain that you're always the one checking up on her, the one talking a lot, the one asking questions while she never asks back-"

"About that, she actually asks back now. She even initiates lunch together. Or gets a drink for me to talk with me. She's so vocal and outgoing now, I don't know her anymore," Nayoung shrugs her shoulders. She finds her words slightly overboard, but doesn't wish to atone for that.

"I also remember how badly you wanted to get into Namdae, how much you loved math and was so eager to take up in college either Math- or even Statistics which you fell in love with thanks to that American drama on big data, but decided that you wouldn't be able to get a good job with these majors which led to Industrial Engineering since it still encompasses a lot of math, which lucky for you Namdae is quite good at. I remember," Mimi stops her lifeless rambling and ends with a sigh.

"Heol, are you drunk yet?" Nayoung scoffs, "Why are you suddenly bringing all this up?"

"Our lives don't really go the way we want, do they?"

・・・

Nayoung sits on her bed, hugging her knees close. The recurring thought of Haebin does not leave her mind. 

"I want to forget her, but now that I've met her again, I keep missing her. Every moment I'm thinking of her, I want to see her again," Mimi's statement rings in her mind. Nayoung knows that every word applies to herself as well. 

For some reason, Nayoung feels terrible. Nayoung recognises this lonely feeling and knows it is just another bad day.

But Haebin remains in her thoughts. She misses Haebin.

That's when she realises, Nayoung has always been the clingy one, the one making calls or initiating conversations, the one that misses the other, the lonely one. Nayoung has always been the problematic one, the one to feel depressed, the one who needs comfort. Nayoung feels pathetic, and she feels sorry that Haebin had always had to clean up her mess by being there for her. 

Nayoung doesn't think much when she grabs her mobile phone and rings up the said person, since she's too (emotionally) tired for any processing anyway.

Nayoung patiently waits as the ringing sounds into her ear. She succeeds in her attempt to not be bothered.

"Yeoboseyo?" Haebin picks up after a while.

Nayoung doesn't say anything. She just breathes.

"Nayoung ah," Haebin softly calls out in her usual gentle voice.

Today, the voice overwhelms Nayoung, sending a gush of warmth into Nayoung's heart. The pain in her intensifies, and Nayoung chokes. 

Nayoung begins sobbing, while Haebin quietly listens on the other side of the line.

author's notes: i get lonely often. what nayoung feels in this chapter, i feel it often. unlike nayoung, i don't have a rascal cousin to care for or a loser neighbour i've grown up with. mimi and sejeong's roles in this fic, represent my use of social media. ie private accounts where i rant my heart and my thoughts out, or even my stories like this one where i can pour my emotions out. they also represent imaginary companions and confidantes that i'm sure every lonely person out there will create from time to time. (though mimi has also another role here as my 2nd muse, to represent me. and likewise for mimi, nayoung and sejeong play that role. conversations between nayoung and mimi are so honest they represent even conversations between my own thoughts.) i'm not writing this out to get pity though. i'm not asking for pity, i don't need it. i'm feeling good now that i've placed my thoughts into words this way, so not only me but anyone reading this would understand a little more about me. btw the university is fictional sorry if the name sounds funny HAHAHAH