This chapter contains super depressing content and if you're okay with reading this then go ahead, but read at your own risk. 

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He felt empty. Empty of the thing he barely knew was there. It had been such a short time with it, but he still felt like he had lost years of life when it left his life. 

Seokjin laid on his side, eyes locked on a pure white wall that looked gray in the dim light. Everything looked gray now. All color had lost its light, looked dull in his eyes and didn't catch his attention. What used to be his favorite color was now too painful to look at and reminded him of what had just happened. It was painful to his eyes and to his heart. 

Seokjin hadn't moved today yet from his spot on his bed. He actually hadn't moved from his spot on the bed in about three days. He barely ate, he barely drank, and he barely even slept. He laid in bed at night with his own thoughts tormenting his mind and body. He physically felt weak, he mentally felt weak, and he emotionally felt weak. He felt as though his soul had left his body. He no longer felt a purpose in his life and he preferred to lay in bed and die in all honesty. 

Seokjin let a hand waver along his body until it found its way to his stomach. His flat stomach. He felt along every curve and ridge, feeling where his skin had stretched only a little bit as it tried to grow for the baby that had lived such a short life. He remembered the day he was lamenting the fact that he could no longer fit into his favorite pair of skinny jeans. They wouldn't button all the way and in frustration, he threw the pants away so he could forget about them. Now that his stomach was flat again, he wanted nothing more than to have a belly again. 

This led to the thought of the day it happened. All of the blood he had lost, the nausea, the pain. It was all horrible, but the worst part of it all was that he had lost the baby. He miscarried around eight weeks gestation, but he only found out at around ten weeks when his body had started to reject the remnants of the baby. It was a rainy day and Seokjin was sitting on the couch in the living room. He had the day off of work and was watching his favorite movie and eating from a bowl of popcorn. Everything was calm and quiet until he started cramping. 

It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He had appendicitis before and it felt just like that. He felt simultaneously sick and hurting like his body was attacking itself. His sides hurt, his chest hurt, and his legs were shaking because of the pain and Seokjin felt as though he was going to keel over and die right there. When he finally stood up to try and go to the bathroom, it felt like a river had flown out of him. His legs quickly grew wet and Seokjin had no idea what was going on, so he finally looked down to see that his sweatpants had grown soaked and dark with blood. The blood ran all the way down to his calves and was starting to drip onto the hardwood floor. 

At this point, panic had set in and Seokjin was no longer self aware and he stood there, staring down at his blood soaked feet. It took a minute before he grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. He then called Namjoon at work and let him know that something was wrong and that he needed to be there. 

When the ambulance arrived, Seokjin was in no state to answer the door and was instead curled up on the floor with the most blinding pain he had ever experienced. He had collapsed when his legs gave out on him two minutes after he had called the ambulance. He had tried many times to get up, but his abdomen was throbbing in pain, attacking his whole core into not moving. It was another three minutes before the ambulance even showed up and they had to break down the door, after Seokjin gave them clearance of course. He yelled to come in any way they could, even if it meant blowing up the door. 

Once the EMTs were inside, they were shocked at the amount of blood that was on Seokjin and covering the floor. One of the "new guys" had to leave the house to throw up because it was so bad. Seokjin almost watched the guy throw up on his doorstep, and that's when Seokjin knew. He was a lost cause and he had lost the baby. He had lost all hope at that moment, and he wanted nothing more than to lay there and die along with his baby.  

The EMTs hoi