Silence

#28

Warning: Alcohol abuse


I screamed as I sat up on my bed, my chest heaving intensely, and my breathing accelerated at an abnormal pace. I searched frantically in the darkness, completely oblivious of where I was. I couldn't feel anything, I could only feel the cold embrace of the chilling air.

My hands flailed about, trying desperately to touch anything that could tell me where I was. I started panting loudly when I couldn't feel anything, I felt like a kidnap victim being held against his will. My hands eventually dropped into some soft fabric and cushion, reminding me that I was on my bed.

I had awoken from, yet another, haunting dream. Only this time it was different from the ones I previously had:

I dreamt that I was on the same ship once again, only this time it was being hijacked. The perpetrators all wore masks which concealed their faces, making me unable to identify them. All the passengers were being forced off the ship, being brought at gunpoint to the edge of the ship before being thrown off. I had no idea why they were doing this or what they wanted but, as time went by, the passengers on the ship were being reduced by the second.

Innocent lives being terrorized and punished for sins they have not committed. Each one of them, thrown off the ship like useless garbage. I saw my parents as well, they were brought at gun point to the edge of the shore. I wanted to stop the men, but I couldn't do anything as I was being held back by a large male.

I was forced to watch as the masked figures pushed them into the unforgiving sea and when it was finally my turn, I couldn't do anything but accept my fate. As they brought me over to the edge of the ship, I stared down at the gushing water. I wanted to run, to yell for help, but there wasn't much my poor little body could do. I felt like it was the end, I wanted to die right there after knowing I had failed everyone. I wanted to join my parents in the afterlife and leave everything behind. As I was about to be tipped over, I turned around to take one last glance at the world before I left it.

In the middle of the chaos, I found her standing there. She was completely unscathed, and she looked like she was oblivious to the chaos surrounding her. I yelled at her to leave before the men catch her as well, but they all seemed oblivious of her presence.

I yelled at her for help, but she ignored me. I tried to reach out to her, but she was too far away. I tried to take a step forward but one of the men threatened to shoot me if I went any further. I begged her for help, but she just stood there, her face completely blank and emotionless. I had no idea what to do, I didn't know if I should let them kill me or if I should protect her first. Without thinking, I lunged forward to grab her and that was when I felt a bullet lodge into my heart. I fell backwards and into the cold, dark waters.

I struggled for air after going through such a horrifying experience. My heart pounding at my chest, own throat choking me, making it harder for me to breathe. I got up from my bed in an attempt to shake off the nightmare and snap myself back into reality, only to be greeted by the cold wooden floor of my bedroom. I was disoriented, and it was too dark for me to see anything.

I groaned and pushed myself off the ground, only to feel a severe pain attack my shoulder causing me to wince in the piercing pain. The pain surged through my shoulder and onto my entire arm rendering it immobile for a while. I immediately stood up and rushed to the bathroom, switching on the light as I stepped inside.

I stood in front of the mirror and pulled my shirt off, not caring if the air was freezing. I took a step forward to observe my shoulder, the huge scar just above my chest had been aggravated from the fall. Up until this very day, I still couldn't understand where it came from. My mom told me it was from a vaccine gone wrong which is why my right arm tends to be weaker than my left. But whenever I'd ask my dad, he'd say he would rather not talk about it.

I lifted my hand to feel the scar. My fingers trembling as they neared the round blemish on my skin as if they knew touching it would hurt, yet I still pushed on. The tip of my fingers meets with my skin, causing it to shiver in pain. I squeezed my eyes shut and squeezed my knuckles together, trying my best to endure the searing pain.

No matter what I did throughout the years, I tried treating it, bandaging it, even dousing it in alcohol it in desperation, the pain just wouldn't go away. It's as if it was there to remind me of something I couldn't remember at all, for as long as I lived.

I shook my head and struggled to put my shirt, deciding that hurting myself over a scar wouldn't do me any good at this moment. I splashed my face with some cold water, hoping to ease the pain and the severe drowsiness in my head. I exited my room and headed towards my real room, which now belonged to Chewy. I struggled just to even walk straight as my head still spun like a merry-go-round, causing me to bump into the walls as I made my way through the dimly lit hallway.

I was clearly not well from the haunting dream I just had. They seemed to be occurring more often nowadays, though I know that this is not the first time this has happened to me. I've been having these random, cryptic dreams ever since I was still in school, only they would only occur when I was severely distressed, and they wouldn't have as much of an impact on me when I woke up. In fact, I would only shrug them off and forget what they were the moment I step out of my bedroom.

But this time was different, I would have them every other day now and they would always stick to my mind for almost the whole day. I especially wouldn't forget that one time I experienced them without even falling asleep, that time that I was watching over Chewy in the hospital. Why was this happening to me? What do these dreams mean? They all seemed connected, but I couldn't make any sense out of them. Was it because I was constantly distressed over Chewy's predicament? Was it because of my job that I keep on holding back?

My head ached like hell just thinking of it, all these messy thoughts and endless questions I had didn't do any good for my already unhealthy state of mind. Lost in a trance, I found myself landing splat on Chewy's door. I clenched my jaw after receiving the impact which left me dazed for a few seconds. Without even fully regaining my sense of balance, I grabbed onto the doorknob and twisted it open, revealing the sleeping girl inside.

And there she looked as peaceful as ever, the sun shone dimly through the window, revealing that it was early dawn. The tiny rays of light crept through the blinds and onto her slim frame that was draped in a blanket, displaying her flawless curves that never failed to baffle me. I took some time to admire her perfect figure, only to be disappointed when I saw that she was facing the other direction, making it unable for me to see her face.

Usually, when I would drop by and check up on her at this time of the morning, she would always be facing towards the door and I would be able to see her peaceful sleeping face. I don't know why but it always gave me comfort and the motivation to live through the day as seeing such a sight always ensured me that Chewy was safe and sound. This time though, I had no such comfort as she had her back turned from me. But even though I couldn't see her face, I could still see that she was peaceful, even if it would only last for a few hours.

I had secretly wish that she would just stay like this until she got better, if she would ever be better. The way she behaved when she was awake made me uneasy and tense to the point that I wouldn't be able to sleep or even stay in a single position for more than 5 seconds. I swallowed a lump in my throat after remembering the events of last night:

I stared out the window as we rode the cab on the way home. I didn't know why but doing so made me feel some sense of comfort as looking anywhere else would make me feel otherwise. I felt so tense sitting next to her, she seemed so different ever since she woke up. She had a different vibe to her, she wouldn't even look at me throughout the whole ride home, she only stared outside with a blank expression on her face and I did the same thing.

For the first time, I didn't feel comfortable sitting next to her, normally she would have this warm, welcoming feel that always calmed my nerves whenever she would come near me. But this time she was doing the opposite, she made my nerves run wild and my mind a mess to the point that I was longing to exit the crowded cab that we were in. I wanted to reach home and wished that things would get better once we reached it.

But they only got worse.

Since the night was still young, I decided to make Chewy dinner to make up for the days she missed her meals. The moment we stepped into the house, Chewy had already started to behave oddly. Without making it 10 inches into the house, she immediately stopped in the middle of the living room. Noticing the she was spacing out, I immediately approached her to check if she was okay.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I asked her but, as usual, she didn't say a single thing. She only stared blankly at the floor with a tired expression on her face. I sighed in defeat as I could no longer figure out what was wrong with her this time. Her face was a little pale and she looked like she needed food.

"I'll just prepare your food. Just stay here" I say as I head to the kitchen to make some dinner. Not knowing how or what Chewy was doing back in my living room.

I returned after a few minutes after realizing it had gone too quiet in the 1st floor. I rely to find an empty living room with Chewy nowhere to be found.

I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face, feeling already super exhausted from the events of today. I was tired, physically and mentally. I thought I could finally relax when I got home, but alas, Chewy always liked to make things hard for me.

I forced myself to climb up the agonizingly long staircase, dragging my feet and sometimes even lifting them up with my hands when they wouldn't work by themselves. I practically crawled just to get to Chewy's room and when I finally did, found her already sleeping under the sheets.

I would just let her sleep the night away, but she needed to eat. I noticed that she was looking very pale and hungry just a few moments ago, and yet here she was on the bed as if her stomach never existed.

"Chewy-ah" I called as I tapped on her shoulder. Receiving the usual, silence in the air.

"Chewy-ah, I know you're tired but you need to eat" I whined as I tried to shake her awake. I know she was awake, she was still moving under the sheets and I could hear her soft whines escape the silky fortress from time to time.

"Chewy-ah please, I know you're tired and I'm tired too so please can you not make this any harder than it should be?" I whined some more, my voice reaching desperation as I was drained of all my energy. I sounded like a dead man begging for his life to be spared. I couldn't help it, I no longer had the ability to think straight or even act like a decent human being.

"Leave..." I hear her say. I immediately froze in my spot after hearing her words.

"What?" I asked, trying my best to comprehend what she just told me. I heard her loud and clear, even if her voice was muffled by the sheets, I just needed to make sure my ears weren't lying to me.

"Leave...

...please" they weren't lying to me at all. The long pause and that emphasis on the last word making it clear to me that she was practically begging me to leave.

And what choice did I have?

Me, who caused her so much pain.

Me, who neglected her in her time of need.

Me, who was responsible for her predicament.

I had no right to refuse her.

Despite the fact that I knew what she needed, that she needed to eat, what I didn't know is what was right. Was it right to force feed her? Or was it right to leave?

The latter being the choice that I made that night.

I shook my head after recovering from my flashback. Realizing that my breathing was already abnormal just thinking about those events. It was a long, agonizing night, it was as if a completely different person was living with me inside this house. But as I look at what used to be my bed, I could still see the sweet, innocent girl that I had come to grow accustomed to. No matter what state she was in, when he slept, she was always the same. Peaceful and serene.

I took some time to bask in Chewy's peaceful nature, enjoying my last remaining minutes of peace before having to go start my day and possibly deal with another side of her that I wasn't prepared to meet.


I found myself spacing out as I prepared our breakfast. The constant nagging in my head made it extremely difficult just to even move my own body. The thoughts kept coming back to my head, the dreams and what they're supposed to mean. Chewy's behavior and, most of all, why was she in them?

At first, it was only her voice that I heard. She didn't sound like her usual self where her voice would be barely audible and stutter every time she spoke, she sounded like she was in distress. Her voice beamed through the air as she screamed for help, entering my ears and sending shivers down my spine.

And then I saw her, her whole being, standing in front of my own two eyes. She looked so serene and... so beautiful. She was like a sheep in the middle of a wolf pack. Only she never spoke a word and never did anything when I begged her for help. Was it that bad? My guilt. that it manifested itself in the form of a nightmare? If so then I understood why Chewy was so cold, but I could not understand everything else. The ship, the masked men... my parents.

I was brought back to reality when the scent of burning dough invaded my nostrils. I looked down to see that my pancakes were already burning up. I immediately rushed and placed them on the plate before they were completely charred, sighing in frustration as I looked at the dark spots on my pancakes.

"Better than nothing I guess" I shook my head and took the half-charred breakfast to the dining room. I sat down on my seat, examining the food if it was still edible. After hearing what seemed to be footsteps walking towards me, I lifted my head up, only to see that the opposite seat was empty.

I sighed deeply as Chewy would usually be down at this time of the morning. I didn't know what to do? Should I go up and get her? Should I force her to wake up and eat her food? Knowing what happened the last time I tried to force her to do something, I felt myself getting extremely anxious and discouraged.

Her cold demeanor was so intimidating and pushed me off track whenever she gave me that attitude. I was barely able to sleep the previous night simply because she told me to leave her alone and now I was seriously debating whether to walk up to her or stay where I was.

I can't believe such girl had such an impact on me...

"Chewy-ah" I called from my seat. I didn't know why I did so, but it felt like my body was telling me to stay put and avoid the upper floor.

"Chewy-ah. Breakfast is ready" I called once more only to be greeted by the echo of my voice resonating throughout the house. I groaned loudly this time, making my voice echo even louder in the silence. My patience was wearing thin like my relationship with her.

And so, I sat in the haunting silence, staring blankly at my charred pancakes as if they were capable of speech. My mind reaching out to every corner of this house, running faster than an Olympic sprinter but no more stable than a pinwheel.

The silence was peaceful, too peaceful. It was something that this house hasn't gotten in a long time and it made me wander... were things really better this way? For more than a while now, I had been running from something that I feared so much; Chewy's rejection. I had been constantly avoiding having to get anywhere near her when she was awake and even when she was asleep. Because every single time that she would reject my aid, it would crush me into countless pieces as it reminded me that I was such a failure.

So, was this silence really for the best?

If so... then why was my mind only getting messier by the moment?

Why was my heart only beating faster by the minute?

And why was my sanity wearing thinner by the second?

"Chewy!" I called out, my voice shaking for reasons that were beyond my comprehension. This table suddenly felt like it was too big for me to sit on, my food had already gone cold and soggy from my neglect.

I grabbed onto my hair, nearly pulling it out of my scalp after enduring such a long painful silence. My sanity hung on to a thread as I marched up the stairs so loudly that my footsteps sounded like a stampede.

The silence only drove me insane.

I marched towards Chewy's room like a man with murderous intent and pushed the door open. Only revealing that it was completely empty.

"Where are you?" I called out as I walked into the bathroom, but there was nothing. Just cold air, and the sound of the water hitting the cold floor, which drove me insane due to the OCD that never left me since I was born. My body tensed up as I walked towards the shower and tightly squeezed the handle in place, making sure no drop of water was let loose.

She wasn't in my room, was she? Or no, the guest room since my room was hers, was it still mine? I had no idea.

I opened all the rest of the rooms on the second floor to find that they were all empty.

Is this a joke? If it was then it wasn't pretty at all. I was losing my mind here and Chewy must be somewhere, smiling to herself as she hears me lose my mind. Well you won for now because I couldn't take this any longer.

Descending the staircase felt like I was descending into hell, but yet I still kept on going because heaven didn't really taste so sweet. I would rather descend into hell, knowing that it would already hurt rather than hope to find heaven and only get hurt when I get there.

But as I finally reached the bottom, I found an angel sitting across me. An angel so sweet and innocent, delicately picking at her food and taking it slowly as if she wanted to cherish every piece of it. What was this illusion that my mind was making?

As I approached the angel, she slowly turned her head towards me and that was when I realized that...

I was still alive.

"Chewy?" I called out receiving nothing but a blink in response. Was she real? How long has she been here? I walked closer to the girl and took the courage to so much as lay a finger on her thin arm.

She's real...

Or is she just some sick illusion that my mind had made up?

"Where have you been?" I asked her to receive the usual silent treatment. But I couldn't care less as my mind was too baffled at how she just appeared out of nowhere.

"Where were you when I was calling you? And more importantly how long have you been there? I searched upstairs, and you were nowhere to be found." I scolded like an angry mother. But she only stared at me blankly, she wasn't even moving anymore.

"You know what? Fine, don't answer that. Just eat your food" I say as I took my seat in front of her. I tried my best to eat my pancakes even though they were half charred and, now, soggy. But I was hungry and upset and I needed to eat or else I could possibly die of a heart attack. I wanted to just ignore everything and eat my way through the day.

But alas, my habit has caused be to glance over to the seat across mine and see that Chewy wasn't touching her food,

"Why aren't you eating?" I asked her, the little patience I had was made obvious by my voice.

"You were eating just a while ago so why'd you stop?" the tone in my voice getting louder and more impatient. But she just took it like I wasn't even in front of her.

"You know what? I had enough of this. I don't know what your problem is but you are driving me nuts. You have no idea what I had to go through while you were gone and now that you're back, you're only making things worse. So go ahead, sit there for all I care, I can't take this any longer!" I yelled at the top of my voice, feeling the mixture of emotions hit me all at once. I don't know what had gotten over me, I didn't know I had it in me to lose my composure like this. It was like getting off a wild rollercoaster and not knowing what to do afterwards, it feels like you're a completely different person.

And that's exactly how she looked at me.

I could see it in her eyes, they looked scared. They looked like they didn't recognize me at all and it made me regret what I just did. I just sat there, frozen in shock at the realization that I might have just scared the girl half to death. But what could I do about it now? Regretting it is not going to fix anything, if I try to comfort her she'll only push me away.

I didn't know what to do...

I took off to the other side of the living room, I headed off to a tiny bar that I had that was just beside the staircase. I sat down on one of the chairs and tried to think of what I just did. I didn't even know why I did it. Maybe I was too concerned that she wasn't eating right? Or maybe I was just thinking of myself. I couldn't think straight since I was already losing my mind and it has caused me to do things I wouldn't even imagine doing.

I gripped onto the edges of the bar in an attempt to tame my thoughts, but the cold surface only made me shiver on the inside. Why was this house so damn cold?

Before I could think any further, I suddenly feel my pocket vibrate, briefly snapping me out of my trance. I reached inside to grab my phone and see that my dad was calling me.

'What does he want now?' I thought to myself. I admit, he was one of the last people I wanted to hear from right now. But I had no choice.

I tapped on the answer button and slowly moved the phone closer to my ear. Somewhat anxious to hear my father's voice,

"Hello... dad?" my voice coming off as hoarse.

"Jun... we have to talk about something" my father sternly said. I felt a shiver run down my spine after hearing his monotone voice come through my phone. He didn't sound pleased at all but not angry as well. What scared me was that he sounded completely emotionless and I couldn't tell what he was feeling at all. It only made me all the more anxious to find out what the problem was.

"A-About what?" dammit I stuttered. My father took a long pause before answering. I'm sure it only lasted for a few seconds but, to me, it felt like an eternity of silence. I think I had enough silence today, come to think of it, I should be glad that my father was calling me and that I had someone to talk to since Chewy wouldn't speak to me. But hearing his voice only made me more anxious and unstable than I already was.

I looked down towards my free hand and found that it was scratching against the surface of the marble bar. It was like it had a mind of its own, scratching and clawing ‘til my fingernails would ship off.

How much longer was he going to stay quiet?

"It's about your job, Jun" my father finally said. At that point, it felt like a gun was being held against my head. I could almost feel the cold tip of the barrel pressing against my temple, I couldn't move from the fear and the shock that was coursing through my veins. I was petrified and too scared to move even a single muscle, knowing if I so much as made a tiny mistake, it would be the end of me.

"Yes... dad" was the only thing that I could say. I no longer had the confidence to speak even a single word.

"Wendy called me up today, you still haven't shown up for work" and the bullet was finally released. I felt his words enter my ears and ram right through my scalp, lodging itself deep into my brain and, in that way, I know I wouldn't be forgetting them anytime soon.

He finally knows the truth...

"Uh-Uhm..." I tried to speak, but could only afford to mumble, as if the bullet had disabled my speech nerves.

"How many times have we talked about this Jun?!" my father was finally starting to lose his patience and the rage in his voice made it all the more obvious.

'Way too many times' I mumbled in my head. It was the only place that I could afford to speak in.

"I... I-" I once more attempted to speak for real but was cut off by my father's anger.

"I did not send you to a prestigious school and pull more than several strings just for you to blow the first job that you get!" he yelled through the phone. But even though he was miles away from me, it was as if he was right next to me, yelling straight into my ear. I couldn't move anymore, I was frozen in fear, I have never heard my dad this upset for as long as I can remember.

"You're such a disappointment..." another bullet has been fired. This time it was aimed towards my heart.

"I'm sorry..." I managed to form a single sentence even though I can barely even move my own tongue. It was now dried up and hard, just like my parched throat.

"Sorry is not going to get those years back, Jun. It's not going to get back all the money I spent on your school and it sure as hell isn't going to get back the millions I spent on your operation!"

Wait what?

Operation?...

It suddenly went silent once more. I could hear my father's intense breathing through the phone, and the sound of my own heart pounding against my chest. It was trying its hardest to pump all the blood back into my system after being literally petrified for what felt like an eternity. But the thing that was trying its hardest to work was my brain. I tried hard to understand what my dad's words meant.

Operation? What did he mean by that? Me? Having an operation? I had no such memory. What bothered me the most is that my father had gone completely silent after yelling as if he just said something that wasn't supposed to be said.

"Operation? What operation?" I asked, my voice shaking in fear and confusion. I remember passing out due to a heat , but I didn't undergo an operation for that. More so I don't think my father knows about it either.

"What are you talking about dad?" I asked him. But he didn't give me an answer, instead I only heard his short, sharp breathes trying to calm down.

"Dad, please answer me" I begged him. I needed an answer from him. His words had such an impact on me, and I know for a fact that he wasn't lying.

"Dad... please..." I begged him once more. The desperation made obvious by my voice

"You didn't hear anything... don't bother calling me until you secure that job of yours" my dad says, his tone returning to its original monotonous nature, before I hear my phone beep, signaling the end of the call.

"Dad!" I yelled, even though I knew the call had been long ended.

'Operation...'

'Money...'

'Millions...'

'MY Operation?'

The words repeatedly rung inside my head, driving me to the point of insanity as I tried my hardest to comprehend them. Why did my dad hang up in such a hurry? And why did he sound so stressed when he mentioned the 'operation'? I don't know anything about such operation but why was my head aching like hell?

I dropped my phone onto the bar after receiving an excruciating headache. My head felt like it was being crushed underneath a truck, and my temples throbbed when I pressed my fingers against them.

I was having another one of those episodes.

But this time, there were no flashes, no images, nothing. Just pain, overwhelming, excruciating pain. It was too much for me to handle, the pain brought me down to my knees as I desperately clung into the bar to keep my balance. I pressed my head against the hard surface to alleviate the pain, but nothing worked.

I grunted when my headache suddenly got worse, I suddenly felt like something was clawing at the back of my brain like it was...

An operation.

I can't take this anymore. Nothing seemed to relieve the pain, I was desperate, and I had lost my mind. I ran towards the fridge and grabbed the first bottle that I could see, a transparent bottle of vodka.

I dragged the unopened bottle towards the bar and grabbed a glass on the way. I dropped both objects carelessly onto the hard surface, nearly breaking the glass bottoms. I impatiently opened the bottle of vodka and filled the glass to its brim, even spilling a few drops due to my waning vision.

I immediately downed the whole thing in one go, in a hurry to let the alcohol relieve at least some of the agonizing pain. But unfortunately, one glass barely even grazed the pain that was in my head.

And so, I took another one. Making sure to fill the entire glass and shoving the drink down my throat, feeling the burning alcohol sting my throat. I squeezed my eyes that were slowly forming tears together at the overwhelming amounts that I was taking in. Surely this might send any normal person hurling, but I didn't care. Because not even pounding on my head was going to stop this pain.

The second hit sent small waves of dizziness into my head, which slightly lifted the pain, but only for a few seconds.

But I wanted the pain to go away

So, I took another one...

And another...

And another...

And another... 'til I had completely lost count of how many intoxicating shots I had taken. By the time I was done, I could barely even count how many fingers of mine were still gripping onto the neck of the glass bottle. My head was spinning like wheels on a bus, and the pain... it was still there. Except I was a lot number this time, unable to even lift my head off the counter top.

Everything was so blurry, my vision waning by the second. All I could see in front of me were a bunch of circles floating about and the world spinning rapidly on its axis.

I felt like . Absolute . I wanted to throw up but there was nothing in my stomach, so I felt like I was going to hurl my insides instead.

But I wasn't done, the pain was still there, and I could still see that the bottle was half full. I struggled to lift the bottle off the table, my arms feeling like two noodles. I didn't have enough strength to lift the bottle, so I just tipped it over causing it to roll over the floor and break revealing that it was empty.

I groaned in desperation because now, I didn't have anything to stop the pain in my throbbing head. I needed another, I know I still have another. I propped both of my hands onto the sides of the counter and mustered up all my strength to push my body upwards. However, whatever strength my arms had, my legs lacked as I found myself crashing down on the ground.

For some reason, I don't remember falling, I only found myself lying flat on my back and staring up at the ceiling that seemed much higher than it usually was. I just lied there dazed and confused, nearly forgetting that I was in my own house. For some reason I was still able to use the last of my strength to stand up and open the fridge. Immediately grabbing the first bottle I lied my eyes on.

I limped back to the counter, more like falling into it as my legs had finally gave in. I hurriedly opened the bottle before I lost any consciousness, not even caring what was inside, and poured as much as I could into the glass.

I struggled to lift the glass towards my mouth, my arms shaking from the lack of strength they had. It was already so close by my hand felt like it was going to snap, but as the glass barely grazed my lips, my consciousness finally gave in.


I awoke feeling slightly relieved. I had no idea how long it had been, what time of the day it was or even where I was. But somehow the cold hard surface that was pressed against my cheek and the smell of alcohol reminded me that I was still at home.

My head wasn't hurting as much as it did earlier, but I could still barely lift it from the counter. I was relieved that I was able to sleep without going through another nightmare, I expected the alcohol to worsen the nightmares that I had, but surprisingly I had none.

Without even lifting my head up, I moved my hands about, trying to find the bottles and the glass that I had used. But I couldn't find them. I buried my face on the counter and released a frustrated groan after the unsuccessful attempt. I still had zero energy and my head still felt like spinning on a merry-go-round. I had planned to just sleep on the counter the entire night, hoping to just pass out until I was feeling better, until the sound of glass hitting the marble top woke me up.

I didn't make that sound.

I didn't even have anything in my hands now.

But if I didn't make that sound, then who did?

I managed to lift my head up all the way, I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds to regain my vision, and when I did, I immediately saw Chewy sitting in front of me, drinking directly from the vodka bottle.

"Chewy!" I exclaimed as I watched her sip from the long, elongated neck of the glass bottle, as if it was made of candy. She released the tip with a pop, laughing sheepishly as she waved the bottle in the air.

"So... delicious!" she exclaimed as she held the bottle like a trophy. Her cheeks were burning red, and her eyes were a light shade of pink.

She was drunk...

"Chewy, no!" I said sternly as I reached for the bottle, but Chewy only inched it away from my grasp and took another sip of the alcohol. I watched as she tilted the bottle upwards, trying to down the whole thing as it ran down forming waves across her delicate skin.

"Chewy, give me the bottle!" I say as I managed to grab her drinking arm.

"No!" she whined childishly as she weakly tried to yank her arm away. I had no idea how much she has drunk, but by the looks of it, she couldn't even open her eyes properly, she could barely support her own weight on the chair and most of all, her face was a taint of rosy red, she had drunken too much.

"You're not supposed to be drinking that!" I exclaimed as we struggled to get ahold of the bottle. Normally, I would be able to yank it from her in one go, but I was still weak from all the alcohol I had ingested.

"That's not good for you!" I exclaimed as I kept pulling.

"Y-You're... not good" she replied weakly as her grip on the alcohol started to fade. I was taken aback by her words, though I didn't understand them, it was enough to make me cease my movements.

"Me? Not good? What are you talking about?" I asked her with a hushed but confused tone.

"You... you're not good. You're bad..." she said as she finally let go of the bottle, slouching lazily over the counter as she used her long arms to keep her from falling over. I released my grip from the bottle as well, visibly shocked by what she just said to me.

I'm... bad?

As in... a bad person? Is that what she meant?

I mean... I haven't been the nicest guy out there, and I have been called many things by people that have antagonized me in the past. But somehow, hearing that simple, three letter word coming from brought indescribable pain to my heart.

"Y-You're bad...you... leave me alone.... always" Chewy struggled to speak as she started to lose her consciousness. Hearing those words come from her, it hurt so much. I no longer felt the crippling pain in my head. Instead, all that pain was now in my heart and it was much worse than a severe migraine.

I struggled to form a single word as I watched Chewy start to fall apart in front of my eyes, I couldn't believe that she can speak any form of malice at all. It was too much for me to handle.

Or maybe she was right?

Maybe I am a bad person after all. This is not the first time I have been berated by a person, I never cared about anything anyone said about me in the past as I knew that I know myself more than they ever did. But when it came from Chewy, I could believe her in the snap of a finger. She was too innocent to be speaking of things that were far from the truth.

"You're bad... I-" she struggled to say.

"I-" was she going to say what I think she was going to?

"I h-" I cut her off when I ran towards her and lifted her off the chair. I couldn't bear to listen to whatever she was just about to say. I carried her across the living room and up the stairs, struggling just to even support her weight with my arms. I was suddenly reminded of the first day I brought her home, I brought her in when she was unconscious and covered in her own filth. She had no idea what was going on and I had no idea what I was going to do with her. Truth be told, I had no idea what I was doing at the moment as well, but I decided to just bring her to her room and tuck her away.

I kicked the door to her room open as both my hands were struggling to support her body. I lied her gently on the bed, despite having little strength left, and pulled the blanket over her thin frame.

I dropped onto the bed, sighing in relief as I was finally sitting down. I watched her as she squirmed and mumbled underneath the covers, trying to shake whatever emotions she had away as she started to drift off. I moved closer to her and lied my hand on her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Chewy" I said as I felt tears start to form in my eyes. I guess I was finally getting what I deserved. The one thing that I cared for in this world, now hates me.

"I'm so sorry I left you alone" I cried as I let my tears run down my cheeks. I caressed her cheek as she shook her head lightly from side to side, as if she was trying to shake away her intoxication. I was still hungover, but the pain was still overwhelming. I could feel every single bit of it.

"I promise, I will never leave you alone again"


 

I'm sorry this took a while but, here it is :)

This one kinda broke my heart just writing it.

I hope you guys are ready cuz next chapter will be... a lot different.

As usual, leave a comment, or a sub, or a vote if you want :)

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Frosty_Penguin99
[12/25/18] - False alarm guys. I forgot to press the "draft" button before saving my chapter.

Comments

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Kaiser29 #1
Chapter 26: Hope u continue with this story
2102bv #2
such a good story!
Fatzu_614
#3
Chapter 26: Haha room 614, nice
revel98
#4
Chapter 25: Oh finally!!! Just a question, why don't you post this story on Wattpad? I think more people would read this amazing story if you post it there. Just a suggestion. ☺️
Renzylyn #5
Chapter 25: My brain it exploded
comicon #6
Chapter 23: Nooooooo!!! Oh my hearteu. Poor tzuyu. I hope he end up with tzuyu and about wendy, i knew she's up to something. Thx for the update author. Im looking forward to it
revel98
#7
Chapter 23: Damn, wish this will have a happy ending instead of a tragic one. Looking at the storyline, it might not end well... Anyway, great story.
comicon #8
Chapter 22: Yasss its about time for jun to gain his memory. I'm curious about the gunshot. Is he trying to shot himself?? Argh i hate cliffhanger..update more author ??
comicon #9
Chapter 21: I knew something fishy about wendy. And isn't Jun is a doctor? Great update author. Thank u so much