(A week later)

Seol ah and Muyungso's relationship has received so much hate from Suzy's fans. Especially Myungsoo, his fanbase, and popularity were dropping day after day, many of his fans loved him so much and they were totally against his relationship, but of course, there were some understanding and supportive fans still by his side, they're still sticking around because they just want him to be happy.

But still, that didn't affect Myungsoo and Seol ah's relationship in any way. The two of them are still holding onto each other stronger than ever.

(Seol ah)

The alarm clock was ringing.

Ahh! Is it the morning already? It's so hard waking up in the morning at these cold days. But still, I'm so excited, Myungsoo is getting better and he's going to be released from the hospital today, that's why I woke up early.

I quickly got ready and went to the hospital. I brought him breakfast on my way. As soon as I arrived, I excitedly opened the door of his room, he's probably still sleeping.

I entered his room but no one was there, he's not in the bathroom either and none of his stuff is here. Where did he go so early in the morning? Ah... My stomach is hurting again, I don't know what's strong with me these days, it's killing me.

The doctor walked next to the room, as soon as I saw him I quickly I ran to him. I only run for seconds but why am I breathing so heavily?

"Excuse me doctor, but did you by any chance see Myungsoo? He's not in his room and his clothes and things are not there either!" I said.

"He was released this morning, a man came and picked him up! Didn't he tell you that?" He asked.

"No, he didn't... That's weird... Okay, thank you, doctor." I bowed and I was about to leave when he suddenly asked me.

"But.. Seol ah-ssi? You don't look fine, are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm... I'm fine, it's probably because I didn't sleep well last night." I politely said.

"I would still recommend you to do a medical check-up as soon as possible. You're still young, you should pay more attention to your health. I have to go now, have a nice day." He said.

"Yeah, I will, have a nice day!" I said.

Why did I lie? I'm obviously not okay. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so in pain, and painkillers aren't that useful anymore. I should probably see a doctor.

I've been trying to call Myungsoo but why isn't he picking up? And who was the man he went with in the morning? Ahh... why isn't he telling me anything.

(Earlier in the morning)

CEO: Myungsoo, wake up we have to go, I'm here to pick you up!

Myungsoo: Sajaginm(CEO)? Why are you here? *he looked at his phone* It's 6:30 in the morning. You never come here, did something happen?

CEO: I'll tell you everything once we get out of here.

Myungsoo: But Seol ah is-

CEO: *cuts him off* Just call her later. This is important.

(Later after they got to the company)

Myungsoo: We came all the way here so you can tell me that? When are you going to accept that my relationship with Seol ah is real and serious, I thought you got over it. Just stop it for God's sake. *kicked the chair and about to go out*

CEO: You do realize that your popularity is quickly dropping? You revealed your relationship at the worst time knowing that you won't be doing much because of your injury. And now Suzy's fans hate you more, they're so angry at you and they keep saying that you broke her heart.

Myungsoo: So what? Are you going to use that against me? *smirks*Let them be, I don't care.

CEO: What about... your mom? You don't care about her either? I heard she's not doing so well.

He turned around as soon as he heard that.

Myungsoo: Mom? Don't dare to get her involved in any of this.

CEO: I'm not going to. But I'm afraid you are. Her condition may probably get worse after she hears what will happen to her son. How would you help her?

They spent two hours talking before Myungsoo goes to the dorm to rest more and think.

(Seol ah)

I've been calling him for hours but he never picks up, I'm really worried.

Oh, wait he finally sent me a message.

"I can't see you right now. I need to take some rest, let's take a break."

What does he mean by le's take a break? Why isn't he answering my calls? He's being so weird but... Okay, Kim Myungsoo. You're probably sick of me, I won't do anything today but I definitely won't let it slide this time. We'll talk about this tomorrow.

I kept walking for hours, I was just wondering around and thinking. The doctor is right I should do the medical checkup. I don't know what's wrong with me but I don't really feel well.

I went back to the hospital, and the doctor said that I did the right thing by going there.

After I got out I was on my way home, I was planning to spend all the day with him but what am I going to do now? I'll probably just stay home.

I went to my apartment, I didn't eat, I had no appetite. All I did was lying on my bed, I had a fever. I spent the whole day and night sleeping on my bed. I was so sick and he didn't call me or send any message... not even once.

I woke up the next day at noon, I took some medicine, my fever got down but I'm still feeling dizzy. I have to go get my results and see Myungsoo.

(A few hours later)

"Pancreatic cancer?? Are you sure doctor? Are you sure these are my results?"

The doctor: It's already almost in its final stage... It's too late for chemotherapy and the only medicines that I can give you are some painkillers, they will not do anything but relieve the pain for a while. It must have been so painful for you...

"Are you saying that I can't do anything about it? Am I going to die?"

The Doctor: The only thing you might be able to do is undergoing a surgery but the chance of its success is less than 10% and it's a bit too expansive.

"But I do have a chance to survive, it might be too low but there is a chance, right? How much do I have to pay for it?"

The Doctor: Everything including the surgery, medicines and other stuff will cost about half a million dollars or so. And yes there is a chance but I cannot promise you anything.

What?? Oh my God, there is no way I can afford that, I can't ask Anna's parents for money. They already did so much for me, they helped me with shop and they paid for my trips to so many places. I probably just have to accept that I will die soon... Didn't I wish for that few years ago? It's probably the time for me to join my parents and Anna...

"Um... how long do I have left to live?"

The doctor: 5 or 6 months at most. Only if you take good care of yourself and your eating habits.

"Thank you, doctor."

I went out of the hospital looking at the floor. Is this really the end for me? I will go and see Myungsoo, if I'm not going to live for so long I can a least spend the rest of my life with him, I don't know where he is but I'll go to the company first, the members must be there. They probably know where he is.

On my way to the company, I kept looking around and observing every little thing. How beautiful this world is, the cold wind that is softly playing with my hair, the high trees, the cute kids playing around in the park and their parents who are sitting there watching after them, the good music I'm listening to, how warm my scarf is on this cold day, how delicious food tastes, how good it feels to eat ice cream on a cold rainy day, and how cozy it is to drink hot chocolate under my blankets while watching my favorite shows. Why didn't I pay attention to how good it feels to do all these little things? I lifted my chin up and looked at the sky for a while then closed my eyes, I opened my mouth to let fresh air in, I took a deep breath, life is beautiful. I will do everything I always wanted to do and run after my dreams even if it's just for such short period of time.

As soon as I get to the company the members told me that Myungsoo is in the Music room, he wasn't supposed to be here today but they said that he's here because he feels bored at the dorm and he can't practice right now because of his injury.

The music room was near the CEO's office, I didn't want to go anywhere near him, he probably still hates me. That's why I asked Woohyun to tell him I'm here, I wanted to see him so bad, I forgot about my pride and about the message he sent me yesterday, I also didn't care about why he was ignoring me, I just wanted to be with him, I don't have much time left to think about all these meaningless stuff.

(Woohyun)

Myungsoo yah... Your girlfriend is here, she wants to see you.

Myungsoo: Tell her I'm busy, I don't want to see her.

"What? Did something happen between you two? You're just playing your guitar... Come on, you guys have been through so much, are you really not going to see her even though she came all the way here for you?"

Myungsoo: No I'm not. Just tell her to go.

"Yah Kim Myungsoo..."

Myungsoo: I SAID TELL HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER. TELL HER TO GO!

I was really surprised to see him shouting like this, what could've happened between them? And Seol ah doesn't look really okay... how can I tell her that he doesn't want to see her...

I slowly entered the practice room.

"Where is he? Why isn't he with you?" She asked.

"He's... um, he's bus... Um-" I didn't know what to say.

"He doesn't want to see me? Fine, I'll go see him." She said in an angry tone.

"Seriously... what happened between you two?" I asked her.

" I don't know... " She looked down. "Everything was fine until he started ignoring me yesterday, I have no idea why he's doing this." She said then she headed to the music room.

(Seol ah)

This is too much... Why is he being like this? I need to know why. I don't care if the CEO or anyone else will see me, I have to know why he's suddenly acting like this.

As soon as I entered the room he yelled at me " Who told you to come here, I don't wanna see you. Wasn't my message clear?"

"No it wasn't, what do you mean by let's take a break huh? Why suddenly? I thought everything was fine. Why are you suddenly being so mean to me?"

(Myungsoo)

I wasn't expecting her to come here... Seeing her face is weakening me. I can't face her or look at her eyes, I can't tell her anything, she looks so pale. Is she sick? I'm so worried.

"Get out of here," I said.

"Are telling me to get out? What the heck is wrong with you all of sudden?" She asked as tears were flowing down her cheeks. Oh no... she's crying ... Seol ah yah, why are you making it so hard for me...

"The only thing that is wrong is our relationship. Let's stop it Eun Seol ah, it's not going anywhere." I can't believe I said these words... I can't believe I made her cry again, I hate myself so much for doing this to her.

"What... " She said in a really low tone, she couldn't talk because she was crying.

"Aren't you at least gonna give me a reason?" She asked.

How can I say this... this is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I have to do it. I have to say it, and she has to believe me, just wait for me, my love... I'm gonna find a way to make things better but for now, I have to make you hate me so you can let me go... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry...

"You want a reason?I'll give you a reason then, I'm sick of this, I'm sick of all of this. It's like playing hide and seek with the media, I don't want any of this anymore. I want you to leave me alone, I just have no more feelings for you, I cannot feel anything anymore, I want to focus on my dream. I'm sorry I caused you trouble but I just can't do this anymore." I said trying to avoid eye contact.

"You're lying she said. That's not true." She said.

I expected that...

"Believe it or not, I don't care about that. I'm busy right now. Can you close the door on your out?" I turned my back and started playing my guitar, I couldn't hold my tears. It hurts, it hurts so much I can't do this anymore...

(Seol ah)

I can't believe what has just happened. How can he do that to me right now... when I need him the most... I'm going to die idiot, I'm going to leave this world after few months... Can't you just stay with me until then?.. I wanted to say these words, I wanted to say them so bad... How am I supposed to face all of this all alone...