(Seol-ah)

Another dream of him. Again.

Is it normal to dream of the same person over and over and over? Like almost every night?

Everything is just fine but why am feeling this way?

Things in the university have been okay, the others started teasing me even more after I became friends with BTS but it's all fine, they just talk and I now have friends with whom I spend most of the time out there.

Everything is okay and normal... I go to the company. I hardly ever see him. Meanwhile, I see the other friends often. And we even hang out sometimes.

But... Why does it have to be him? Why do I feel this way about him? Why him?

It's Friday, I have no class today. However, I promised Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin to meet them at the university and study together.

(Later in the same morning)

(BTS)

Taehyung: Aaah! We studied really hard this morning, I'm tired.

Jungkook: Me too. I'm a bit hungry as well.

Jimin: You barely talked today, you don't seem to be okay, are you sick? Eun Seol-ah?? Earth to Seol-ah!

Seol-ah: What? I-I'm... I'm fine.

Taehyung: Why does everyone look so down? Do you guys want to hang out for a little bit? Let's go to our place and have some coffee!

Seol-ah: Your place?

Jungkook: It's a coffee shop we often go to. It's a really quiet place, not many people go there.

Jimin: It's peaceful, we go there everytime we want to spend some peaceful time together, away from the media and stuff. We even sometimes meet some idols who go there for the same reason.

(Seol-ah)

Once we got there, the place looked exactly the way they described it. It's so nice and cozy. And not many people were there. In fact, there are only a few guys in the other table.

Wait... Are they...

Infinite? As much as I was happy to see them... I wasn't expecting to see him (Myungsoo) today.

Jungkook: Oh? Sunbaenim? Nice to finally meet you.

Jimin: We're so glad to meet you, we really like your music.

Taehyung: Seol-ah have told us so many good things about you guys, we're so happy to see you.

I just waved a simple "Hello"

They all greeted each other, then we went to another table and took our seats.

He was staring at me all the time. Which made me feel quite uncomfortable. I was pretending to be talkative and having so much fun. I don't know why I was doing that but I was just doing it.

(Jungkook)

I don't know what's wrong with Seol-ah today. She barely said few words earlier, but she's talking about everything right now. She seems pretty uncomfortable, especially after we met Infinite. She's working in the same company as them, I thought she'd be really comfortable around them. I really can't understand her sometimes.

We were all sitting and laughing at Taehyung's jokes. And discussing different topics until my phone started ringing.

Oh no! We were supposed to go the company earlier today, for practice! I totally forgot about that.

"Nae sajangnim! We're going to be there soon"

(Myungsoo)

I haven't seen her this close in quite a long time. These guys must be really good friends with her, I knew what she needed the most were friends like this. I didn't like the way that Jungkook guy was looking at her though.

I couldn't help but stare at her. She looked happy, I'm glad she's fine now.

I finally have a free day today, we've been so busy these last months with the comeback and all.

After hanging out with the guys, I went to my place once again and took that diary with me. I read it like three times now. I like looking at her photos, she looks so happy in them. She has a really bright smile, It's unfortunate that she does not show that genuine smile anymore, or maybe it's unfortunate that I never had the chance to see it. She looked happy in the morning though. I'm glad she's over me now, I mean it's not even like she likes me that much or something. I was wrong. She probably just had a crush on that Idol she used to see on Tv.

..." Was it you? ... The one who saved my life... Wa-..Was it you?"

I quickly turned back to see Seol-ah standing right in front me with a look of shock on her face. She turned away in an attempt to hide her shock from me.

"You knew everything... all this time... you've been.."  She said with a trembling voice.

I was speechless.

"I.. I'm sorry" These were the only words that came out of my mouth.

" You could've just let me go... I could've been in a better place"

"I thought you're happy, you looked happy in the morning, I thought things were getting better for you, what are you talking about..."

" Did you read it?" she turned to face me and pointed at the diary that was still in my hand.

"Yes..."

"All of it?" She asked

"Yes, all of it," I nodded.

"Can I get it back?" She asked.

I didn't say anything, I just gave it to her.

She took it and slowly walked away.

"Seol-ah wait... "I called her.

"I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you everything, but I couldn't. That day when you came to the company dressing and looking completely different, I thought you wanted to leave everything behind. All the bad memories and start anew. I didn't want to remind you of the day you wanted to end everything and give up. "

"I cannot just leave everything behind Myungsoo, I wanted to, I pretended to be over it. But things do not work that way. What happened to my parents, what happened to Anna.. this will always haunt me... for the rest of my life."

I got closer to her as tears left her eyes and made their way down her cheeks, I slowly wiped her tears with my hand when she immediately stepped back.

" Don't do this. I hate it when you do it. You keep being so sweet and nice to me then you treat me like a gum stuck to your shoes next day. I'm fine, I don't need your pity. I'll just go."

"I'm sorry" I looked down

"This all what you've been saying since I got here. You're sorry... " She hesitated for a while then let out a heavy sight. Then she added.

" I like you Myungsoo. You probably already know that since you read my diary. I liked you so much even before I met you. You weren't just any other celebrity I was a fan of. And after I met you, my feelings for you got deeper. I tried to distract myself and do other things instead of thinking of you all the time. I tried to stop myself from stealing secret glances at you everytime you're around but I failed. I know you're an idol and that it's impossible for a girl like me to be with someone like you. I know that you do not feel the same way about me and I understand. Seeing you treating me like this again makes it even harder for me to move on. So please stop it. Let's just pretend that none of this happened."

After she said that, I couldn't stop myself from revealing all that I've been keeping to myself all these months.

I placed my arms around her and hugged her tightly. I've been longing for this moment for as long as I can remember. " I like you Eun Seol-ah. " I whispered in her ear.