“Atoms… here… bam! Faster than the speed of light…” I gritted my teeth as I sketched my blueprint for the time machine. “Man… isn’t this scientifically impossible?”

I was trying to build something that humankind would ridicule me for.

“It’s not impossible,” I assured myself. “The laws of physics never proved it impossible.” However, the materials and the time required were staggering.

Ugh. I let my head fall onto my hands as I massaged my temples with my thumbs. It was past midnight now, and the air in my apartment steadily grew chillier. I stretched and reached for the lamp, my numb fingers awkwardly fumbling for the switch.

Inertial frame of reference. Postulates of special relativity. FTL Neutrino anomaly. Quantum field theory.

“Geezus…” I rubbed my eyes and stumbled towards my bed. My eyelids slammed shut as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Many sleepless nights had passed before I finally came up with a final plan for the time machine. I couldn’t count the number of sketches and rough drafts that I had piled up in paper balls in my trashcan. This was the most challenging task I’ve ever received, but who am I to complain? I love challenges – especially when most people are convinced that it’s impossible.

“Your eyebags are really dark,” Junhyung commented. “Couldn’t sleep because you didn’t see me for two weeks?”

“Don’t be conceited, you brat,” I scoffed. “I called you over because I finally came up with a plan for the time machine.”

“I see,” He answered.

Eager to explain, I nodded my head and whipped out the blueprint I had tucked in a plastic container. “See, if we use faster-than-light travel, according to special relativity, there would be some inertial frame of reference in which the object was moving back in time.Since one of the two fundamental postulates of special relativity says that the laws of physics should work the same way in every inertial frame, then if it is possible for signals to move backwards in time in any one frame, it must be possible in all frames. This means that if observer A sends a signal to observer B which moves faster than light in A's frame but backwards in time in B's frame, and then B sends a reply which moves FTL in B's frame but backwards in time in A's frame, it could work out that A receives the reply before sending the original signal, a clear violation of causality in every frame. In addition…”

I took a much-needed breath, and peeked at Junhyung’s expression. He didn’t seem interested at all.

“Hey, were you even listening?” I growled.

“Kind of?” He honestly replied.

“Most importantly - memories. Memories are lost when time traveling, so try to not get too attached to anything here,” I said.  “Your turn.”

He shot me a confused expression.

“So, your past…” I hopefully said.

“Why are you so curious?” His eyes narrowed for a split-second before turning to their normal, empty state.

“It’s only fair,” I replied. “I make you a time machine, you tell me why you need it.”

He remained silent for a second, turning his head to look out of my apartment window. “How many times can a human live?”

“Uh… once?” I cocked my head.

“Wrong and right,” He answered.

“Huh?” Confused, I scratched the back of the head.

“Just kidding!” He reached over and pinched my nose. I swatted his hand away in annoyance.

“Don’t do that!” I glared and held my finger up warningly. “Touch me and you die.”

“Right, right,” He smiled faintly, holding his hands up in defeat.

“Tea?” I remembered my manners. He shook his head.

“Yongsan Orphanage.”

“Is that-“

“That’s the orphanage I stayed in.”

“Get up, you filthy rats!”

Junhyung jolted awake at that dreaded voice. He rubbed his sleepy eyes, trailing out of the dingy room along with the other orphans. They gathered in the main room of the orphanage, cowering under the sneering faces of two caretakers.

They called them Mr. Z and Mrs. P.

Mrs. P was the worse of the two. She had a face that resembled a rat. Her lip was slightly twisted in the corner, a smirk that haunted even the bravest of the orphans.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Mrs. P roared and grabbed a small toddler, who was trying to crawl back to his bedroom. The toddler burst in tears at her bone-chilling scream and his body wracked with sobs.

“SHUT UP!” Mrs. P screamed, advancing towards the toddler. Junhyung swallowed, closing his eyes and clenching his fists. He flinched as he heard a sickening crack from behind him.

He was a mere toddler.

What had he ever done?

“Dispose of the body,” Mrs. P scornfully pointed at Junhyung. “Into the trashcan.”

“Hurry, you useless twit!” Mrs. P pushed Junhyung on his shoulder. He felt her sharp nails dig into his skin, but ignored the pain. He approached the still figure on the floor, slowly picking the toddler up. He held the toddler close to his body, feeling the remaining heat starting to slip away from the limp body.

“Yes, madam,” Junhyung whispered, stepping out of the orphanage. Carefully making sure not to make any noise, Junhyung closed the door behind him.

A gust of cold wind and snow immediately hit him in the face. He shivered as he rapidly blinked. Barbed wire surrounded the orphanage. An infinite field of snow lay beyond the barbed wire. Junhyung sniffed as his nose became increasingly numb from the cold.

“You’re going to be okay,” He whispered, his teeth chattering. “It’s okay.” He dragged himself to the empty trashcans by the edge of the orphanage, carrying the lifeless toddler with extreme care.

“I’m so sorry,” Junhyung bent down and placed his frozen cheek against the toddler’s soft cheek. He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, silently crying. “I… I’m so sorry.”

He closed his eyes, clutching the toddler close to his chest until the toddler’s body became as cold as the snow surrounding him. Junhyung laid the toddler’s body on the ground, using his fingers to gently pull down the toddler’s eyelids over the glassy eyes that stared back at him.

Junhyung began to dig a hole in the snow. He dug through the snow, ignoring the stinging pain and purple on his hands. He dug through the dirt, letting the brown filth coat his blistered and blood-caked fingers. He lifted the toddler and slowly laid the toddler into the hole, whispering a silent prayer before covering the hold with snow.

He hung his head, wiping his runny nose on his grimy clothes. After double-checking that the hole wasn’t visible, Junhyung retreated to the orphanage.

“TOO SLOW!”

A hand slapped Junhyung’s cheek as soon as he stepped inside the orphanage.

“I’m sorry,” Junhyung instantly apologized and bowed.

“Did you dispose of it?” Mrs. P said, expressionless. “In the trashcan?”

Junhyung opened his mouth and closed it.

“Yes, madam.”

“Junhyung? Hello? Are you okay?”

Junhyung kneaded his hands together. “I’m fine. Sorry.”

“Are you sure? You kind of spaced out…” I said hesitantly.

“I just remembered stuff,” He replied.

“Ah, I see,” I nodded and accepted his reply.

“It wasn’t a pleasant place,” He continued. “The two heads of the orphanages are called Mr. Z and Mrs. P. They required us to call them mister and madam, though.”

“Z and P?” I tilted my head. “Who came up with those names?”

“The other kids at the orphanages.”

“I see.”

“It wasn’t much of an orphanage, from my point of view. Rarely anyone came to adopt children, although many came to abandon them. All the orphans were required to sell gum to strangers on the street, then give their earnings to the caretakers.”

“It sounds more like a cult,” I commented.

“Do you even know what a cult is?” He asked.

“Not exactly, but they’re not good places,” I hastily replied. “Sorry. Continue.”

“If you didn’t earn enough, they’d beat you. If you were late, they’d beat you. If you did anything wrong, they’d beat you.”

“Did they hit... you?” I asked.

“A few times,” He stonily replied.

“There were times when orphans were killed for the most stupid things.” Junhyung’s eyes glazed over as he stared out the window.

I was at a loss for words. Truthfully, I felt like a villain for forcing him to tell me about his painful past. He probably didn’t want to dig up old memories. 

“Wait for a second!” I got up and shot out of the room, leaving a confused Junhyung. I returned in a matter of seconds, carrying a box of tissues.

“Here!” I whipped one out and it at him. “Just in case!”

He began to laugh. Not the fake ones from before, but a real laugh.

“You’re funny, you know,” He accepted the tissue and folded it into a small square before tucking it into his shirt pocket. “Really.”

“Thank you for the compliment,” I said, unsure. 

“But… even if the caretakers didn’t treat you well, you had friends there, right?” I asked. Junhyung fell silent.

“How should I put this… I didn’t exactly… get along with them,” He finally said. “Although I wish I did.”

“So you were alone.”

“That’s a depressing way of putting it, Miss Ume,” He smiled. “And no, I did have one friend.”

I furiously shook my head. “I’m being blunt. You never mentioned that you had a friend, though.”

“I’ll explain next time?” He said, shifting in his seat. “Now then. I better get going.”

“Er… I’ll see you this weekend? If you’re not busy?” I said, glancing at the calendar hanging on the wall.

“Sure,” He got up and threw on his jacket. “Thanks for the tissue, by the way.” He patted his shirt pocket.

“You didn’t even use it…?” I pushed my chair in and accompanied him to the door.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I appreciate it anyways.”

“Bye,” I waved and opened the door for him. He walked out the door, closing it behind him. I continued waving to the closed door, blankly aware that he was already gone.

Junhyung hugged his knees, resting his head on his knees.

“Hello! I’m new here! Nice to meet you! What’s your name?” A boy around the same age popped up beside Junhyung and cheerfully grinned.

“Junhyung.”

Another new orphan. Junhyung stared at him. Each and every new orphan always smiled cheerfully in the beginning. Their smiles always grew duller as days passed. In the end, smiles were nonexistent in their faces.

“I’m Woohyun.”