Cucumbers are good?

Cucumbers good, Pink bad

A/N: Hi readers, my second Jeti oneshot. As I get more ideas I definitely hope to practice and get better at writing for Jeti. Please enjoy this.


 

It had been like any normal night for Jung Jessica. She had dinner with her wife Tiffany, they had as they always try to do on a daily basis. And they spent the night after, cuddling. These are all very basic normal things for the couple. There was nothing really out of the ordinary until Jessica woke up the next morning. She gets of bed and heads straight for the kitchen. The first thing she notices is that all the pink silverware that Tiffany insisted they buy are gone. The pink countertops that her wife also fought her on are gone too, and replaced by marble ones.

 

“Um, honey? Are you feeling okay?”

 

Tiffany turns when she notices her other half is in the kitchen. She smiles warmly upon seeing her.

 

“Yes, of course baby. Sit down okay, I’m almost finished with breakfast.”

 

“Um, sure.” That’s when Jessica also notices that the pink napkins that Tiffany always wants at the table are also gone. They are now replaced by regular white napkins.

 

“So, Fany where are the pink napkins?’

 

The very second that Jessica asks Tiffany that question. The dark-haired woman turns around suddenly, looking very angry.

 

“Jessi, you already know that I don’t like pink!”

 

“What!” The brunette’s eyes are wide in shock, and she almost falls out of her chair. Tiffany catches her though just before she does.

 

“Honey, please be careful.”
 

Jessica is just too much in shock though. She has to make sure that she heard correctly.

 

“What, what do you mean that you don’t like pink? Who are you right now?”

 

“I mean that I don’t like pink. I can’t even stand to look at the color, ugh. As you already know that sweetie. I am of course your wife, why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“You don’t like pink?” Is all Jessica can really say.

 

“No!” Tiffany shakes her head. “We don’t even discuss that color here Jessi. Now, let’s have some breakfast okay.” She smiles cheerfully. Jessica on the other hand feels like she is going to pass out or die. Tiffany, her wife and long time partner of many years doesn’t like pink. It just isn’t done. It was literally one of the first things Jessica found out about her. When they had their first date years ago. Tiffany came to said date in a pink dress and matching shoes. That was how she knew for sure the woman was a pink monster.

 

“Jessi, sweetie you aren’t eating?” Tiffany looks concerned.

 

“I just can’t believe this.

 

“I know right.” Tiffany nods to the food before them. “Can you believe that I was able to make us an authentic American breakfast right here in Korea? That actually looks like food we’d get back home.” She gestures to the perfectly scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon.

 

“What, no that’s not what I meant. Fany, you love pink. And you love pink more than anything.”

 

Tiffany slams her fists on the table. “No! I hate pink, and you know this about me. Don’t ever say the word pink to my face again.” She storms off suddenly. And now Jessica is truly scared. What the hell is going on?

 

She starts by looking in the closet. She sees that all of Tiffany’s pink clothes are gone and replaced by dark tones, or bright colors that are not pink.

 

“I can’t even. I can’t even…” Jessica begins. Then runs to Tiffany’s dresser and starts looking in it. She looks for any sign of her pink pajamas, or y pink lingerie. They are also replaced with colors like red, blue, and black.

 

“Jessi, baby if you wanted me to wear something specific for you, all you do to was just ask?”

 

“What?” The brunette turns sharply when she hears Tiffany’s voice. “No, not that. Just why don’t you have any of your pink ?”
 

“My what!” Tiffany slams the dresser shut. “I hate pink for the millionth time. Are you cheating on me?” She grabs Jessica suddenly. “Is that why you’re suddenly asking me about pink?”

 

“What, no I would never.” Jessica decides to call her Miyoung, knowing that she absolutely hates that. If she doesn’t react badly then it will prove that something is very wrong here.

 

“Miyoungie, you know I love you and I would never cheat.”

 

“Good, and you’d better not ever cheat on me, otherwise I’ll be down one wife Jung.”

 

“I just called you Miyoung.”

 

“Yeah, so.” Tiffany shrugs. “Why would I care about that?”

 

“You hate when anyone calls you Miyoung.”
 

“I do not. Honey, are you sick? Maybe you should go rest.”

 

“I’m not the one who’s sick here.” Jessica thinks.

 

From there though she goes into the kitchen again because now she really needs a glass of wine. However, the second she looks into the refrigerator there is a huge amount of cucumbers staring back at her.

 

“No!” She screams, closing the refrigerator. Tiffany runs in when she hears the scream.

 

“Aigoo, Jessi what’s wrong?”

 

“C-Cucumbers.” She looks again like she’s ready to pass out.

 

“So,” Tiffany shrugs. “Baby, you love cucumbers.”

 

Now Jessica is really about to pass out. She sways on her feet so Tiffany leans forward to catch her.

 

“Sweetie, I am worried about you. Here sit, let me get you a cucumber.”

 

“Yah, don’t you even dare bring one of those things to me!”

 

The dark-haired woman is already reaching to grab some sliced cucumbers.

 

“Here, you go baby already sliced for you.”

 

“No, no get them away from me.” Jessica backs up. Only Tiffany feeds her one. Somehow, even though her mind is screaming at her to spit this out. Her body actually starts to chew and swallow the cucumbers.

 

“See, you love them, not bad right?”

 

“Yea, not bad.” She covers though the instant she says those words. “What, of course they are bad?” She mentally scolds herself, but at the same time continues to eat more of them. Tiffany just smiles at her.

 

“See, you can’t fool me. I know how much you love cucumbers. Now, get ready okay. We’re going to Tae’s our friends are all waiting for us.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Maybe they can all shed some light on this crazy situation. When they leave their house Jessica blinks confused, where the hell is Tiffany’s custom made pink convertible. The one she bought for her birthday.

 

“Yah, where is your pink car?”

 

“You stop it Jessi!” She hits her with her black purse, and not the pink one she carries around. “I don’t like pink, now get in the car and let’s go to Tae’s.”

 

“But, I don’t understand.” Jessica sighs out. The drive over to Taeyeon’s proves interesting. Because for one thing Jessica has cucumber flavored chips and is eating them.

 

“Honey, you and those cucumbers. I just don’t understand, but whatever makes you happy Jessi.”
 

“But, I don’t like them.” She pours the remainder of chips down . Tiffany laughs.

 

“Aigoo baby, you love cucumbers. You have cucumber juice for breakfast, sliced cucumbers as a snack, you always have extra cucumbers on your salads and even for dinner some nights.”

 

“Ugh, I’m going to be sick.” Jessica moans pathetically, but reaches into the bag for some cucumber flavored mints that she throws in . Why is her body betraying her like this?

 

“Okay, get ready for this.” Tiffany puts on her shades and gets out the car. It makes Jessica confused.

 

“Fany, why are you wearing shades?”

 

“Trust me sweetie. The horrors of this place can’t even truly be blocked out by these shades.” She points to a pink house, with pink roof, windows, door, everything pink.

 

“But this is your dream house, no?”

 

“Hell no!” Tiffany shakes her head. “I wouldn’t even be stepping foot in this house if it wasn’t because it’s Tae’s place.”

 

“What, this is Taeng’s house?” Jessica’s eyes are about to pop out of her head. How the hell is this pink house Taeyeon’s? Tiffany is just dragging her along.

 

“Come on Jessi, you knock please. I can’t even bare to touch the door it’s so pink.”

 

Jessica knocks and Taeyeon opens the door. She is dressed in a pink top and pink shorts.

 

“Um, Taengoo?”

 

“Hi!” She shouts excitedly and hugs both her and Jessica. “My two best buddies, come on in. I hope that you are both having a pinktastic day today.”

 

“A pinktastic day?” Jessica repeats, trying to be sure she’s heard right. Because Taeyeon doesn’t like pink.

 

“Yep, come in. Everyone’s here.”

 

Tiffany just holds on to Jessica tightly. “Jessi, please we have to just say hi and go soon. My heart can’t stomach all of this pink.”

 

“What?”

 

And the second they step into the pink as hell living room Jessica too is about to pass out with her wife. Everything in the room is pink, the walls, carpets, couches, and curtains.

 

“Taengoo? What has happened to you? You like green, that minty green don’t you? And what about your Dookong curtains.”

 

Taeyeon turns to her. “Sica, you know that I hate Dookong, what is wrong with you? Pink is everything, pink is life.”

 

“Ugh, please stop. No more pink.” Tiffany begs.

 

“Sica, you know it’s me that loves Dookong.” Sunny, comes from the kitchen dressed as a green pea.

 

“Sunny! You don’t like Dookong, what the hell is this?”

 

“I love Dookong how dare you?” She smacks Jessica with her mini dookong plush. “She didn’t mean it, Jessica is just a big meanie.” Sunny tells her plush.

 

“What’s up Sica, didn’t have your cucumbers yet?” Yuri asks, coming out with a huge sandwich in one hand and ice cream in the other. Jessica is stunned. Yuri isn’t the shikshin those titles belong to both Yoona and Sooyoung respectively.

 

“Um, doesn’t Soo normally eat everything? Where is Soo?” All of a sudden there are hands reaching out to grab her . It makes Jessica jump.

 

“Yah! Who the , Taeng?”

 

“It wasn’t me. I don’t like to touch butts.”

 

“Say what? Of course you do.”

 

“You’re confusing me with Soo, okay. You need your cucumbers Sica, you know you don’t think well without them.”

 

“Soo, stop grabbing my Jessi.” Tiffany smacks the tallest in the head with her purse. That’s when Sooyoung laughs.

 

“I’m sorry but Sica’s is so addicting.” She grabs again and Jessica screams.

 

“Soo! This isn’t you, why aren’t you eating?”

 

“What, I am not a shikshin like that one.” She points to Yuri who is now eating chips.

 

“Yuri isn’t a shikshin. She cares about her body and working out.”

 

That’s when Yuri laughs. “I don’t give a about that. I just want to eat, you’re thinking of Hyo. She’s over there lifting weights.”

 

Jessica looks to see Hyoyeon, the small blonde is definitely lifting weights in the corner.

 

“Hyo, not you too.”

 

“Hey Sica. No time to talk, gotta work on these guns!” She kisses her muscles and goes back to lifting weights. Jessica is more than just a little scared. Taeyeon taps her.

 

“Sica, cheer up have a pink lollipop.” She hands one to Jessica and tries to hand one to Tiffany too. Only the dark-haired woman flings it away.

 

“Don’t you dare put that pink in my face. Jessi, baby please we have to leave soon. I can’t deal much longer.”

 

“Yah, excuse you pink is good!” Taeyeon shouts again, so loud and so unlike her.

 

Jessica is so confused, why is everything so weird. Suddenly she hears Yoona shout out from the kitchen.

 

“Seohyunnie, baby please no more. Don’t you think enough is enough?” Yoona tries to pry the cheeseburger from her wife’s hands. But Seohyun has a strong grip.

 

“I will tell you when I have had enough Yoong. And you can never, ever have enough food!”

 

“Seobaby, Yoong?” Jessica whispers.

 

“Unnie.” Seohyun smiles and hurries to hug her, cheeseburger still in hand.

 

“Seobaby, you hate cheeseburgers.”

 

“What, I do not. I love cheeseburgers, I love everything that has food!”

 

“Yes.” Yuri nods, now finishing up a huge plate of tteokbokki. “Food is life.”

 

Yoona just grabs the cheeseburger from Seohyun. “No, hyunnie I told you before eating this could kill you. And you never, ever listen to me.”

 

“Huh?” Jessica blinks. Yoona cares about the bad food that can hurt you, and Seohyun wants to eat cheeseburgers. Yuri is over there pigging out. Hyoyeon is now bench pressing Sunny who is busy playing with Dookong plushies. Tiffany is damn near passed out in the corner because she can’t take pink. Taeyeon is offering pink candy and pink soda’s to everyone. Sooyoung is once again grabbing her .

 

“Yah, Soo stop it.”

 

“Sorry Sica, I just love your so much.” She tries to grab her again, only somehow Tiffany has renewed strength and dropkicks her to the floor.


“You stop touching my wife, right now you erted giant.”

 

“Yah, Fany you want to fight, let’s go.”

 

“Guys, don’t fight. Spread the pink love!” Taeyeon joyously shouts.

 

“You’d all be happier if you had more dookong in your life!” Sunny starts throwing plushies in the air.

 

“You would all feel better if you just eat.” Yuri admits. “That reminds me where the hell is the pizza I ordered.”
 

Seohyun’s face lights up. “Pizza! We need this pizza now, and cookies oh and also cakes!”

 

“No Seohyunnie.” Yoona pleads. “All that stuff is bad for you, please just eat some sweet potatoes with me.”

 

“I hate sweet potatoes.”

 

And that makes Jessica scream, all of the world is crazy.

 

“Enough, this is all wrong. What happened to all of you?”

 

“Sica, you okay? What’s the matter, do you need your cucumber fix?” Hyoyeon says seriously.

 

“I told Jessi she needs at least 20 to 50 cucumbers servings a day, or she’ll get cranky.” Tiffany admits.

 

“Ah.” Taeyeon nods drinking her pink smoothie. “That explains her behavior and why she’s all weird.”

 

“No. I’m not the weird one, it’s all of you. Taengoo, you are the huge ert that likes butts. Sunny you like video games not dookong, Yuri you work out and not pig out. Soo, you’re the big eater and not the ert and please don’t touch my again. Yoong you are also the eater you don’t care about sweet potatoes. Seobaby, you are the eco friendly and healthy person among us. And Fany,” She hurries to her wife.

 

“Baby, I’m really worried about you. You’re my pink monster, what’s happened?”

 

“Yah, stop it. I don’t like pink. I do not like pink, someone please get Jessi some cucumbers.”

 

“I’m on it!” Yuri nods. “You’ll feel better after you’ve had cucumbers okay Sica.”

 

“No! I will not eat another cucumber. I can’t live in whatever world this is, you’re all so crazy.”

 

“Just eat the cucumbers.” Tiffany now hands her a plate full of them. Jessica tries to listen to her mind and not eat them. Only, her hands are already reaching to grab some and the next thing she knows she’s shoving cucumbers down .

 

“Feel better baby.” Tiffany asks, rubbing her back.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“See, all you needed was your cucumbers Sica.”

 

“Yeah unnie.” Seohyun nods. “You know how you are when you don’t have your cucumbers.”

 

“I know.” Jessica nods, but then slaps her hand over . “No! No, I don’t love them. I don’t.”

 

“Baby yes you do. Just like I hate pink, it’s just how it is.” Tiffany explains to her, but that just makes Jessica scream her classic dolphin scream.

 

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


 

Jung Jessica wakes up screaming her head off. Tiffany hurries into the bedroom and hugs her wife.

 

“Aigoo, baby what’s wrong? Talk to me.” She caresses her face.

 

“Fany, Fany? Please for the love of god tell me you love pink.”

 

“What, of course I do honey. You know I love pink why do you think I don’t?”

 

“Never mind, then it was just a dream. Thank god.” The brunette breathes out in relief. Tiffany just stares worriedly at her wife who is shaking up.

 

“Honey, what kind of dream was this?”

 

“It was horrible. I ate cucumbers Fany.”

 

“Oh, my poor baby, come here.” She hugs her tightly. “Don’t worry no cucumbers will hurt you now. Anything else weird?”

 

“Yes, you hated pink and Taengoo loved it. Seohyunnie wanted cheeseburgers and Yoong was the healthy one. Soo was the ert, and Hyo liked working out. Sunny was a dookong lover and Yuri was a shikshin. It was horrible Fany.”

 

“Yea, baby that does sound pretty horrible. But, this is what happens when you don’t get your full 14 hours of sleep. You start bugging out like this. Come here.” Tiffany wraps her arms around her. “I’ll keep your bad dreams away okay.”

 

Jessica nods and relaxes against her. Thank god for Tiffany and the fact that it was just a dream. This world is the only one where she can function in. The one where cucumbers are bad for her, and pink for Tiffany is good.



 

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this. I just started writing when this idea hit me and here you have this crazy, fun mess. I hope it was also enjoyed though, and thanks for reading.

 

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Comments

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TaeyeonsHoe
#1
Chapter 1: LMAO. This unbelievably hilarious! I just love reading your JETIs fanfic!
LazyXian
#2
Chapter 1: (*≧▽≦)ノシ)) so funny...
Justified
#3
Chapter 1: It so funny. Like a sci-fi movie. Travel to the other universe. I'm like it.
WenSeNim
#4
Chapter 1: Lmao sica should call the dream as "upside down world" xD
venusheart
#5
Chapter 1: OMG this is hilarious.
I cannot imagine if all that happen.
And you authornim deserve a vote from me.
Thank you for writing this xoxo
rayet88
#6
Chapter 1: LOL this is so funny. Poor Jessica, but at least it was just a nightmare.
suhikim #7
Chapter 1: I love your JeTi fic so much! I'm looking forward to more JeTi from you in the future. Thanks for the great story :p
Imjessica #8
Chapter 1: OMG this is so funny
foreverwendy
#9
Chapter 1: Well im going to say that this is the weirdest story i've ever read xD
But it still good tho... jeti for life! XD
kola11
#10
Chapter 1: I feel bad for jessica XDD this is good!!