Snow coated the ground outside. I the humidifier next to my bed, then rolled myself into a cocoon with my blankets. I squished my face into the pillows. Cold. Everything was cold. I wanted that warm and fuzzy feeling that holiday songs talk about. I wanted the kind of winter where you snuggled up with someone in front of a fireplace, and drank hot chocolate. 

"Wake up, kids!" Our leader's voice rang throughout the hallway. I didn't have the energy I usually had. The wish of spending winter with someone, and knowing that it would never come true, had completely sapped my energy. Chaeyoung and Dahyun rolled out of their beds, practically stumbling to the door. 

"Tzu?" Dahyun's voice was cracked and dry-sounding. 

"You coming?" The baby beast turned, rubbing her eyes. 

"Later." I mumbled, burying myself under the pillows and plushies on my bed. Still cold, but at least it was soft. I heard the door shut softly, indicating that they had left. I rolled over, staring at the ceiling. I wondered if it was normal to feel lonely like this. I wondered if it was okay to be surrounded with girls, your friends, and still feel alone and neglected. Do I have depression? I wondered. The gentle whirring of the humidifier lulled me back to sleep. 

"Tzuyu." There was a weight on my bed, and a gentle voice whispered my name in my ear. "Tzuyu, it's late. You should get up." I felt a warm hand rub my arm comfortingly. "If something's wrong, you know you can talk to any of us, right? Whoever you feel the most comfortable with, or all of us...it doesn't matter." 

"It's nothing." I sighed, leaning into the warm touch. 

"You're cold." The soft voice's owner wrapped her arms around me. I opened my eyes, seeing nothing except dark brown hair. I took a deep breath; all was calm. She smelled sweet. I recognized her as my group member, Mina. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine." I hummed, a tiny smile creeping onto my lips. It felt good to be so close with someone...especially Mina. Everything about Mina always sent my heart fluttering. Whenever I smelled her perfume, shampoo, or anything that smelled like her, it was immediately calming. It was like an invisible masseuse had worked my muscles into relaxation. 

"If you say so." She began to sit up. My warmth was gone. I pulled an arm out of my blanket cocoon, and intertwined our fingers. 

"I'm cold." I pulled her hand gently towards me. I wanted warmth back. She chuckled; the noise relaxed me. 

"I thought you said you were fine." Mina laid next to me, and rubbed my arm gently. "I think you'll warm up if you come get breakfast." 

"Later." I wiggled out of my cocoon and nestled my body up against hers. The sound of her heartbeat echoed in my ears. Our legs tangled together, as her hand slipped under the back of my shirt, rubbing the small of my back. Her touch was hypnotizing. I let out a yawn, nuzzling my face into her neck. Mina was soft and warm, and everything I wanted. It was painful seeing her hang out with Momo and Sana, the best-known gay members of our group. Although they had no interest in Mina, it still bothered me. She isn't even mine. I sighed against her skin. 

"You're sure that you're okay?" She whispered, her breath tickling the hair on top of my head. 

"Mm." I didn't want to respond. I just wanted to lay here with her. I just wanted to enjoy the feeling of our bodies pressed together. Her thumb rubbed my waist, then her hand slid out of my shirt. She patted my shoulder. 

"I gotta get going, Tzu." She sighed. "I need to go to the company with Moguri and Sana."

"Why?" I whined. I couldn't hide my disappointment. She was leaving. It would be for a short while, and she'd be with her best friends, but...I wanted her to myself. I wanted her to be the one to warm me up in cold winters. 

"You can come with." She chuckled. "Get dressed. You can eat your breakfast in the car or in the practice room." She stood up and took my hand, pulling me out of bed. "You could probably use some stretching, anyway. It's not good to be in bed all the time." She ruffled my hair, then left for the door. She turned to face me. "And if you're not ready by the time we're at the door, you're coming in your pajamas." She closed the door gently behind her. I listened to her footsteps down the hallway. I grabbed a loose-fitting crop top and some leggings, and started undressing. 

"Yes, Mina!" I heard Sana yell from their bedroom, which happened to be the next room over. I heard someone hush Sana, then all I heard were quiet murmurs...until Momo knocked on the door. Then, the screaming started up again. I finished getting dressed, and left my room. I went towards the bathroom. 

"Will you two calm down?" I heard Mina groan as her door opened. I washed my face, trying to push away thoughts of nervousness. It was undeniable that the J-Trinity had amazing bodies. Everyone said that I was well-built, too, but...when I looked at them, or any other members of the group, I couldn't help but feel unattractive. I regretted wearing a crop top, as I remembered Momo's killer abs, and looked at mine in the mirror. Mina's eyes would surely be on Momo's eye-catching abs. The leggings may have been a bad call, too, as Sana was gifted with curves no matter how thin she was. If it was curves that Mina was after in her ideal girl, her eyes would be on Sana, for sure. I silently prayed that Momo or Sana would bring their girlfriends with; especially Momo. She was with Jihyo, and if anyone was calm, collected, and understanding, it was Jihyo. 

"Ready, Tzu?" Momo's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. She looked chic, with a fitted crop top and baggy sweatpants, which were rolled up to her calves. 

"Um..." I glanced at myself in the mirror, then back to Momo. 

"You good, Tzuyu?" She patted my shoulder. "You're weird right now." 

"Is Jihyo coming with?" 

"We weren't planning on bringing her..." Momo's eyes wandered, most likely searching for her girlfriend. "Jihyo! Babe!" Momo walked away, calling for her girlfriend. I slapped my forehead. I should have known that Momo doesn't know anything about being discreet. "Babe, do you wanna come with us?" I overheard Momo ask Jihyo. 

"I was planning on working on my vocals-"

"Babe, you sound like an angel. Now come on, Ji. Tzuyu feels nervous about going with just the three of us."

"Momo, she'll be fine. She's friends with the rest of you, too." 

"Babe...you're so mean." Momo whined.

"Who else is gonna watch over these kids?" 

"Nayeon."

"Yeah, the fake maknae is gonna be great to leave in charge."

"Jeongyeon."

"I have to protect the kids from Jeongyeon, silly!" Jihyo laughed. "Just go, you'll be fine." 

I heard Momo let out a groan, and I heard her footsteps approach me. "Ji's not coming with." She was pouting, but then she grinned, grabbing my hand. "But Mina's gonna be there! Come on, Tzuyu~" She dragged me down the hall and away from the bathroom. Mina and Sana were already at the front door with their coats and shoes on. Momo and I hurr