The four of them are sharing two sets of food, placed in the middle of the table, Soojung's hardly touched anything she's focused on her homework, using the little bit of space not covered with food to work. Jongin, on the other hand, has his knees drawn to his chest and he's sketching. Sehun knows he shouldn't be staring, but between helping Soojung with physics and eating, his eyes are captured by the boy beside him.

"Soojung eat," Jinri commands softly breaking Sehun's attention from Jongin. He can't help the smile that tugs at his lips as he watches her hold the food up to the other girl with a grin of her own. Jongin nudges him, breaking his attention from the girls. He turns around and meets a pouting Jongin with his sketchbook closed.

"Sehun, I think your phone is ringing," Jongin says, gesturing at the schoolbag between them. Sehun's brows furrow as he drops his eyes to his back, reaching in and pulling out the device. A small frown forming as he takes a glimpse at the screen before ending the call and changing the ringer settings to silent. He looks up after dropping the device back into his bag, meeting puzzled brown eyes that he can only shrug in the face of.

"It was just spam," he says, turning back to the girls before Jongin can question him any further. He still feels his friend's eyes hard on him after the exchange and he can't help the fidgeting as a result.

"I'm going back to Soojung's place," Jinri says as they stand outside of the restaurant. Her arms are around Soojung's waist, her chin is resting on her shoulder, and a bright grin livens up her entire face. Soojung had confided not too long ago about how nice it felt to be out and open to the pair of them with misty eyes and a small smile and since that moment Sehun's felt nearly protective of them.

"I don't understand how your parents are okay with you spending so much time away," Sehun teases.

"Something about Soojung being a good example and less mouths to keep track of," Jinri replies with a bigger smile before leading the girl in her arms away. Jongin and he watch them go until they're out of sight before beginning their own trek home.

******

"I'm going to drop my things off and take my babies on a walk," Jongin says, as they stand outside of Sehun's house. "Do you want to come with me." Sehun fidgets looking towards his house and then back at Jongin.

"I'll meet you outside," Sehun promises, trying not to grin himself when Jongin's lips part into a brilliant smile.

Minutes later the dogs are playing at their feet as the pair of them sit on a bench in their usual park. He can feel Jongin's eyes warming his skin and he's trying and failing to keep his own eyes on the dogs.

"What," Sehun says after a moment, a laugh bubbling from his lips. "I know I'm handsome but it's rude to just stare."

"What's been on your mind," Jongin asks him, not becoming flustered in the way that Sehun's used to. Sehun's silent for a while longer mulling the question and his own answer as best as he can before giving another weak shrug.

"After graduation," he begins, not exactly answering the question. "Let's go on a trip. You, me, Jinri, and Soojung. I want to go somewhere that we can stay overnight. I want to take a plane wherever it is. Maybe Jeju. Maybe Japan."

"Just the four of us," Jongin asks, and Sehun nods his head. "What do you want to do?"

"Make memories,' Sehun says. "I–" he pauses and sits back in his seat, going back to watching the dogs and make sure they don't go too far out of sight. "Believe it or not, the three of you have grown on me."

Jongin hums softly and shifts in his seat. "Japan sounds nice. I always wanted to go, but knowing Soojung she might choose Jeju. I bet I could convince Jinri to want to go to Japan."

"Japan is nice," Sehun agrees. "I doubt Soojung will say no."

"You've been," Jongin asks.

"Once when I was little," Sehun says. "My dad had a business trip so he took my mom and me since it was the summer. I got to go to Disneyland. It was nice."

"It'll be nice going on our own trip," Jongin promises in a way that brings a small giggle to Sehun's lips.

******

Sehun looks over towards his window. Jongin isn't in his bedroom which is the only reason he'd bother to take any sort of glance in that direction. He can't help the small grin that graces his face. He's happy, happier than he's been in a while and it's for a good reason he justifies. His aunt isn't around when he leaves his bedroom and heads downstairs. Another little thing to keep his smile going in the early morning.

He leaves with nothing but a thin slice of toast between his lips and an earbud in his right ear. It's a pretty warm day and the sun is shining so nice that he's nearly excited at the prospect of waiting for Jongin. It's great! Until it isn't. A step outside of his gate and his oh so perfect day becomes the exact opposite. He eyes the car before him, holding in his emotions as toast threatens to fall from his lips. The driver's door opens and Sehun watches as his mother climbs out in a navy blue dress.

She walks around the car with a smile, throwing her arms wide when she's right in front of Sehun and pulling him into a hug.

"Happy birthday," she says into the hug before pulling back and grinning up at him. "Let's get in the car."

He does as he's told, confusion keeping him compliant enough not to question her sudden appearance. It isn't till they're driving in the direction away from his school that his mind seems to catch up.

"Mom," he calls looking at her even though her eyes are on the road. "Where are we going?"

She grins wide at the question. "It's your birthday, dear, we're going to celebrate it. You only become an adult once." Sehun looks at her for a second more before resigning himself to his forcefully imposed plans, leaning back in the seat and taking out his phone to send a quick text to Jongin to go to school without him.

By the end of the day, Sehun has a new watch weighing down his wrist and finds himself at a fancy seafood restaurant sitting across from his mother in an awkward silence.

"How are your grades," his mother asks him as they wait for the food they ordered.

"They're ok," he shrugs.

“I was worried about you changing schools in your last year. You’ll tell me If you need tutoring or anything? You’re really not too far from Seoul. It’s a bit late in the year but I'm sure I can make something happen."

"I'm fine," Sehun says. "My friends and I study all the time."

"Friends," his mother repeats, perking up at the word, and Sehun tries his hardest not to cringe. "Are the kids there treating you nicely?" He chances a glance around the room in search of their waiter, hoping to curtail the conversation before it can truly get started.

Yeah,” Sehun says, when he can't find the man “I guess. They are all really nice.” She’s looking at him with that imploring look of hers’s so he sighs and begins to vaguely speak about his friends. He talks about studying with a college friend, and Soojung and Jinri, and Jongin without saying their names. He talks about the kids in class with that same aloof manner, hoping against all hopes that his mother will take the hint that it's not a topic he wants to talk about.

The waiter finally comes at some point and all speech is replaced by eating. Sehun can feel his mother's eyes on him so he looks up and grins, complimenting her choice of restaurant.

"Sehun," she calls to him when they're halfway through their meal. The fingers holding his chopsticks flex almost causing him to drop them. She's using the same voice she used when he was a child. Sweet as honey and almost always used to placate him. He looks up to her from the meal before him, meeting her gaze. A lot of people say he takes after his mother, and truthfully he only sees it in times like this, when her face is closed off and he can't even gauge what she's thinking through her eyes.

“Your aunt told me about a neighbor of hers,” She says. “A friend of yours,” she adds when he continues to stare at her in the same blank poker face she's using to stare at him. Her voice stumbles over the word friend and Sehun tries to stifle the sardonic twist of his lips with another bite of his dinner.

He doesn’t remind her that she wasn’t the one that caught her son pressed underneath his friend. He’d rather not relive those days leading up to his departure from his childhood home specifically the way his mother’s eyes looked as she refused to look at him. She hadn't been able to hide her true feelings behind a blank facade then and although he spent his entire winter break trying, he doesn't think he'll ever forgive her for that.

Sehun gives a false little grin as he looks at his mother. “Yeah, he’s my best friend.” He watches as her mask breaks and she grimaces. He stares at her with wide unwavering eyes, watching as she visibly tries to gather her thoughts.

“Your best friend,” She repeats for confirmation. “I have no issue with you having friends, dear, it’s just that...from what your aunt implied... “ she trails off. “We agreed to keep things a little low-key this year, didn’t we?”

“What did she imply,” Sehun asks, placing down his chopsticks with a frown.

“Sehun,” his mother says leaning close to him and whispering his name, sweet and soft, and placating. “There’s only a bit more time, and then you can go off to France or wherever for your gap year just like we planned. I can’t have you transferred so late in the school year.”

He stares at her and then drops his gaze back to his meal. “We’re just friends,” he says, picking up the chopsticks and trying to ignore the way the food suddenly tastes too bitter and his stomach feels too full.

******

“I’m going to take the bus home,” he tells his mother once they’re done with the food. She looks as if she’s ready to protest so he gives his best smile and hugs her. “Thank you mom, this was the best birthday I’ve had in a long time,” he says, feeling her relax in his hold. When he pulls away she reaches a hand out and caresses his face as she'd done when he was so much younger.

On the bus, Sehun unclasps the watch from his wrist, turning it over in his hands, examining each and every angle of the gift underneath the dim light before tossing it in his gift bag, and reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone.

[20:48] Can I stay at your place tonight?

[20:54] Jonginnie: Yea, U back yet?

[20:54] Be there in 30.

Jongin is sitting on their bench when Sehun approaches. He's wearing his black tracksuit and slides and his hair is messy like he's run his fingers through it one too many times. It's his sketching hair, unbelievably messy and ridiculously fluffy, and always leaving Sehun with an urge that he still hasn't figured out rather it's to try and fix it or run his fingers through it until he messes it up even more. His grin when he sees Sehun transforms his face from the sleepy stoic sight it once was into something so entirely different Sehun can't contain his own smile.

Jongin is sitting on their bench when Sehun approaches. He’s wearing his tracksuit and slides and his hair is messy like he’s run his fingers through it one too many times, but his grin at the sight of Sehun lights up his entire face.

“Happy birthday,” he says, standing once Sehun gets close enough.

“Thank you,” Sehun says, looking at the spot between his eyebrows instead of meeting his gaze, feeling as if he might bust if he does.

“Do you want to go inside and get your things or….” he trails off as Sehun shakes his head.

“I’ll just leave early tomorrow,” Sehun answers. He follows after Jongin, greeting his mother and then his father before finding comfort in his room.

“Did you eat,” Jongin asks, he’s in his closet looking for a spare set of pajamas. “We’ve got leftovers.”

“Yeah,” Sehun says, coming up behind him as Jongin passes him the clothes. “Mom took me to this fancy seafood restaurant. It wasn’t all that good.”

Jongin turns towards him, bottom lip sticking out and eyes filled with sympathy as if Sehun said he'd been forced to eat expired food rather than fancy not quite amazing seafood. It's the kind of look Sehun would about but he chooses not to, instead, he takes the clothes in his hands and goes off to shower.

When he gets back from showering Jongin is seated at his desk with his literature textbook open, but his eyes are on the paper bag Sehun brought along with him.

“You could have looked over it while I was in the shower,” Sehun says, dropping the bag on an empty part of his desk and leaning against it. “What did I miss at school today?”

“The girls missed you,” Jongin says. “They had a birthday surprise planned, but I can’t say what. They’re just going to do it tomorrow,” He pulls out the clothes items first, examining the shirt and trousers with an odd concentration.

“Any chance I can convince them not to?” The shoes are next. They're dress shoes white leather and black soles and something he'll never wear.

“Nope,” Jongin answers. The watch is last. He turns it over like Sehun had done on the bus, only this time around the light is brighter and the watch seems to sparkle underneath it. He places everything back in the bag like a person dealing with expensive things for the first time and glances up towards Sehun.

Sehun grins down at him, whispering a tiny “what?

“I've got a present for you,” Jongin says. He opens his sketchbook, taking out an envelope and sliding it along the desk until their fingertips touch.

Sehun takes the envelope and looks up to Jongin. “Can I open it now?”

“No,” Jongin says and then shrugs. “Do what you want, it's still your birthday.”

Sehun hesitates for only a second before slowly opening the envelope. There's a sheet inside that he unfolds. When he glances at Jongin, the latter is gazing out of his window. His stomach twists and Sehun glances back at the paper as if confirming what he first saw.

“I–” he begins before swallowing thickly. “I thought you didn't draw people.”

It's not just a sketch of him done between the pages of Jongin’s homework. It's a full-on drawing. He's leaning against a grey car, his mother's car, his face is almost completely obscure by blond hair and he's looking away, away from the viewer and the artist. It's amazing.

“Everyone says that or else we'll get stuck doing drawings of everyone we meet.” Jongin’s voice is that familiar whining tone that Sehun’s grown to love. “I'm not that good at it anyway. I just couldn't figure out what else to get you.”

Sehun looks up at that. Jongin's eyes are on him and a part of him wants to flinch away. This part of him wonders if Jongin can tell. That raging monster from months ago is back and he can't figure out a safe place for his eyes in this room that suddenly feels too small and too warm.

“You're an idiot,” he scoffs. “This is the best present I've ever gotten,” he adds. He chances a glance at Jongin's eyes but Jongin is looking at the expensive bag of clothes.

“I'm serious,” Sehun says, leaning close to him. Jongin meets his eyes and smiles. “This is the greatest present I've ever received.” Sehun pulls away when the closeness gets too much and fakes a yawn.

“Let's get some sleep,” Jongin says standing.

They fit together on Jongin's tiny bed instead of Sehun taking up a spot on the floor. Both are too big to truly be comfortable but neither caring. It's been so long since the last time, but it almost feels the same as before.

Sehun tries to sleep, especially after Jongin's breathing evens out and he's the only one up. Instead he replays his dinner with his mother, in between his own thoughts regarding his feelings. He reaches a hand towards Jongin, letting it linger just above his face and then Jongin's own hand before allowing it to fall to Jongin's shoulder. He shakes Jongin until he hears the sharp intake of breath signaling that he's awake. Then he calls out his name waiting until Jongin opens his eyes, confused brown eyes meeting his own.

“I'm gay,” he whispers. Jongin doesn't say anything at first and the seconds begin to feel like hours. “ I—I'm sorry, I can sleep on the floor or go,” he belatedly realizes his hand is still on this friend's shoulder and makes to pull it away. Jongin stops him, grabbing Sehun's hand and holding tight.

“Don't apologize.” He whispers. “And don't go.” He frowns and Sehun shifts as if trying to move away. “I said it before didn't I? I want to be a person you can rely on. Someone you can tell anything to.”

Sehun notices the way Jongin's been rubbing soothing circles into his knuckles and tries to relax into the feeling of it. “I'll still love you no matter what,” Jongin whispers as he pulls him into a hug.

“Don't say that,” Sehun says, trying to get used to the weight of Jongin's arms around his waist and his hands on his back.

“Ok,” Jongin says with a sleepy yawn. “Do you want to talk about this some more…”

Sehun shakes his head, “can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Ok,” Jongin whispers.