Chapter Eight

 

Warning: There is mention of suicide and this is a very long chapter.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

 

Jimin wasn’t sure how long it was before he retreated to his room and curled his knees up to his chest at the end of his bed. The nurses came in and out to check the vitals of the silver haired boy flattened out across the bed. For a time, Jimin examined every part of his face, wondering if the exhaustion he saw on his comatose face was showing on his unseen one. After everything that had happened, he was fairly certain the dark circles were there to stay.

 

He’d never imagined something so horrible could happen within the blink of an eye. He never imagined that a simple snow day would turn so rapidly around, taking two of the people he cared about most with him.

 

He never imagined a few simple words would change his entire relationship with someone he loved so dearly.

 

Jimin stared at his unconscious body from the end of the bed. He’d changed so rapidly over the past two years. But that was thanks to Yoongi--it was thanks to his support and his reassurances that everything would be alright. But, what about now? Would things be alright now? With Namjoon and Seokjin gone, would everything really bed alright?

 

He had to fight, but what was the fight anymore? Waking up without someone to care for him?

 

His eyes closed for a moment, hoping, praying that his mind would wander back to the good moments; the moments where he was happy and sound. Where it didn’t hurt to smile and where he knew Yoongi would be waiting for him, where he knew Namjoon and Seokjin would be. That was shattered now though. It had all fallen apart and torn at the seams that once held it together so tightly.

 

What was there to fight for anymore?

 

•••

 

The adrenaline rush had departed upon stepping through the threshold of the hotel room. The feeling of gliding across an unfamiliar stage, the euphoria he felt in forgetting that anyone else was around had come crashing down around him in the largest way possible. Jimin didn’t regret his decision to properly audition, no matter the prompting that it took. He couldn’t regret it--he wouldn’t regret it.

 

The only part that brought on regret was lying to Yoongi about where he was going. After saying he wouldn’t take the audition, what kind of person was he now that he had gone through and done it? What kind of web of lies had he woven himself now? The toxicity that surrounded the new situation almost burned at the edges of his mind. But he still didn’t regret it. He still didn’t regret the rush and the feeling of freedom that surrounded him.

 

Jimin just didn’t know how he would tell Yoongi.

 

He ran his hands over his face and pulled his legs into his chest with a soft groan. Yoongi would be calling soon, and he’d have to figure out an excuse to what he and Jungkook had done.

 

"You sure you're not going to like, puke or something?" Jungkook questioned as he came around the corner from the bathroom. He put his toothbrush in his mouth before stuffing one of his hands into his sweatpants pockets. "You look a little green."

 

“I’m fine,” Jimin responded, flashing his friend a reassuring smile. “Just the nerves and thoughts finally kicking in, I guess.”

 

Jungkook watched him for a long moment before pausing in his brushing, pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth. "Have you called Yoongi-hyung yet? To tell him about how the audition went?"

He swallowed and turned his eyes to the ground. “Jungkook, I told him I wasn’t going to the audition this weekend.”

 

Jungkook's eyes went wide and his toothpaste coated lips fell open as he stared at his friend. "Oh my god. Hyung!"

 

“I-I’ll tell him soon, okay? I didn’t want to go into this weekend with my mind on a fight.” Jimin replied, holding his hands up in defense. “I feel horrible not telling him already, I’ll tell him soon. I knew how he would react and I didn’t want that to be my main focus this weekend.”

 

Jungkook rubbed his eyes with his hand, mumbling with the toothbrush in his mouth. "Oh my god." He sighed heavily, turning away to go finish his teeth. "I really have no words for this."

 

“Jungkook!” he called after his younger friend. “Are you really upset at me over this?”

 

"No!" he called, before rinsing his mouth and grabbing a hand towel. "I'm not upset at you. I just," he hesitated, slowly breathing out before he stepped back into the bedroom to face his friend. "If he doesn't know we're here, then what exactly did you tell him?"

 

“I told him you were visiting a university here to see if you liked it and I said I’d go with you.” Jimin fell back onto the bed and released a long breath. “And, technically, we did, just for me instead.”

 

Jungkook raised his eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So, y-you lied?" He stared at him for a very long moment before running his hands over his face. "Oh my god, hyung."

 

“Look, that really big fight we had was just because I didn’t tell him about the application for a week or so. I don’t want things to fall apart again.” he spoke softly. “I don’t want to let him go.”

 

"Hyung," He started, sitting on the end of the bed next to Jimin. "Last time you just didn't tell him, and I'm pretty sure you remember how that went. If he reacted that way before, what about," Jungkook paused in his words, his face twisting in his hesitation.

 

Jimin locked eyes with him. “I didn’t tell him because I’m completely terrified.”

 

Jungkook slowly breathed out through his nose. He ran his fingers through his brunette locks before pulling one of his legs onto the bed and facing his friend. "I honestly don't know what to tell you. I think this time you kinda ed up, but I can also see where you’re coming from. You’ve put yourself in a very sticky situation.”

 

“I know I’ve ed up, Jungkook, believe me.” He sighed, fiddling with the strings of his sweatpants. “I-I just panicked after what happened last time. Everyone was pushing me to do it and I couldn’t just up and tell them the plans I already had with Yoongi.”

 

“You’re very indecisive.” Jungkook noted, shaking his head. “What exactly is it that you want, hyung? What do you want out of this whole thing?”

 

“I wanna get into university and fulfill my dreams.” he breathed. “I want Yoongi there for all of it.”

 

"I think that's easier said than done now." he pursed his lips. "I think if you had just told him in the beginning that you wanted to try applying for the university here things would have turned out differently."

 

“It wasn’t even my idea to apply!” Jimin exclaimed, widening his eyes at the younger boy. “I was gonna go to college in Busan, I was gonna stay in Busan, and Yoongi and I were gonna get a place in Busan. I didn’t even think about Seoul until two months ago. God.” he groaned loudly. “Are you still my friend even though I lied?”

 

"I'm not the one you lied to!" Jungkook raised his eyebrows. "Going to the university in Seoul was a recommendation that everyone thought you should at least try, we didn't force you to send in your application!" He crossed his legs on the bed and faced Jimin. "Hyung, did you send in the application because we suggested it, or because you wanted to? Be honest."

 

“I hadn’t seriously considered Seoul, but I knew about the school enough. I thought about it before, but not seriously.” Jimin pulled his knees up to his chest. “I applied because I knew the school would point my career in the right direction.”

 

"So you decided to do it yourself?" Jungkook inquired.

 

He closed his eyes. “Yes.”

 

"Then that's on you, hyung. I'm not saying this to blame you or shame you for anything. I'm saying this to show you that you can't blame anyone else for what's going on. That's unfair to Jin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung and everyone else who just wants what's best for you." Jungkook was hesitant at first, but carefully reached his hand out to rest on Jimin's knee and get his attention. "You'll get through this somehow. You always do." His big brown eyes stared into Jimin's seriously. "Remember what I said. No matter what happens or what you decide, I'll back you up. Okay?"

 

“Thank you, Jungkook,” he replied quietly. “I’m sorry, you know; that we don’t spend as much time together. But I’m glad we have this weekend.”

 

Jungkook gave him a slight smile before he turned his eyes from the older boy to his hands. “Me too. You've got a lot going on, I understand that. I will admit, it's a little weird though. Now I have to share my time with Yoongi-hyung.” He got up to walk around to the other side of the bed.

 

“Things kind of changed when he came around.” Jimin watched Jungkook’s movements with an intent look. “You’re still my best friend though, no matter if we don’t spend as much time together as we used to. Seriously, Jungkook, I appreciate you a lot.”

 

"Yeah, sure. It's what I'm here for." Jungkook swallowed as he moved the blankets to slip under them. "You know, you'd be so lost without me. Just saying."

 

He slipped off the end of the bed and rounded around the other side. “Believe me, I know. What would I do without you?”

 

Jungkook thought about it, resting his arms behind his head. "Hm, that's a good question. You wouldn't be having as much fun, for one. I'm obviously the fun one."

 

“Wow, thanks,” he scoffed, shoving Jungkook’s shoulder.

 

"You know it's true!" he laughed. "I make life interesting. I don't know how you can't see that."

 

“Then what in the world am I?” Jimin chuckled with a small smile. “What the hell do I bring to this friendship?”

 

"Stability." Jungkook stated, staring up at the ceiling. "You're good at making things work, even if it seems like they won’t. You keep me from doing stupid stuff that might have really bad consequences. You always seem to just, light up a room, even if you don’t mean to." he slowly sighed. "You do a lot more than you think, hyung."

 

“Thank you,” he responded quietly, pulling the blankets up around his shoulders. “I’m glad you’re consistently here with me, even if I act like a pretty horrible friend sometimes and don’t listen to you.”

 

"You are really stubborn." he confirmed with a small smile. He turned his head to look over at him, blinking in the darkness of the room to catch his eyes. "That's not a bad quality though. It shows you've got drive and a reason. You're really strong, you know."

 

“You think so?” Jimin raised an eyebrow at his younger friend. “You’re sure about that? Between the crying and the moping around, I totally see it, right.”

 

"That just shows you're even stronger than you think." Jungkook mumbled. "You know when you've put up with enough bull and you don't let it just consume you by keeping it in. You let it show. You should really have more confidence in yourself. You're more incredible than you give yourself credit for."

 

“You’re something else, you know that?” he caught Jungkook’s eye in the dark room and grinned at him. “Seriously, you’re amazing.”

 

Jungkook could feel heat rise up in his cheeks and his eyes turned away from the older boy, trying to contain the smile that wanted to break across his face. "I'm just Jungkook, I-I'm not that amazing, hyung. Amazing is too good of a word, don't you think?"

 

“And you say I’m horrible at taking compliments,” he scoffed. “Seriously, Jungkook, I mean it. You’re incredibly--especially for putting up with my bull for the past like decade. You’re someone I’m lucky to have.”

 

"Oh my god, stop," Jungkook turned away from him, running his hands over his face as he laughed softly.  

 

“Take my compliment, you jerk!” Jimin shoved his back and laughed. “You force me to take yours, except mine for once in your life.”

 

"You're such an !" he laughed, burying his face in his pillow. A sudden harsh gasp came from the younger boy as he flinched away. "Holy hell, hyung! You're toes are freezing!"

 

“This is why would’ve should’ve gotten two beds!” Jimin retorted, covering his mouth to hold back the laughs that wanted to escape. “Try not to kick me off the bed in your sleep. I’ll punch you in the throat if you do.”

 

"I'm so sorry I couldn't provide you with the luxury of an extra bed, I'll try and not be broke next time!" Jungkook rolled his eyes, and he stayed quiet for a long moment. A small smirk crossed his lips and he scooted closer to Jimin, completely wrapping himself around his friend. "I'll make it up to you by giving you complimentary body heat to keep you warm!"

 

“Oh my god, Jungkook!” he laughed, throwing his head back into Jungkook’s chest as his laughing continued. “You’re something else, you know that?”

 

Jungkook chuckled quiety as he buried his face in his back. "You said that already! You need to broaden your vocabulary. Are you sure you'll make it in college?"

 

“You’re such an , Jeon Jungkook.” Jimin released a quiet sigh, allowing a soft smile to splay across his lips. “Such an .”

 

"I know." The longer he laid there, the more his smile started to fade little by little. He was suddenly keenly aware of the rich scent of Jimin's body wash on the back of his neck, the soft rise and fall of his body with every intake of breath, even just the way he was relaxed in his arms made him swallow. He was thankful he couldn't see the way his face reddened or how tightly he closed his eyes, trying so hard to quiet his racing thoughts. It seemed impossible. It was impossible. "Hyung?" he whispered.

 

Jimin shifted slightly. “Yeah, Jungkook?”

 

He was very quiet for several moments, an inner war raging in his mind about whether the next sentence should even pass his lips. "Do you really love Yoongi-hyung?" he whispered, making sure to keep his voice as even as he possibly could.

 

“Yes.” There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation within him, nothing holding Jimin back from allowing his feelings to be own for the older boy that had captivated him. “Why? A-Are you still upset at him after everything?”

 

"N-No, I'm not. It's just," He bit into his bottom lip harshly. He wasn't sure why he even asked; why he wanted to know something like that, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "What's it like? What's it like to feel that way about someone?" Jungkook asked quietly.

 

“It’s like falling, in the simplest way.” he answered, closing his eyes for a few moments. Jimin wasn’t sure Yoongi would even love him anymore when he found out about his audition. Yet, he wanted to be selfish and savor it just a bit longer. “It’s like a rush of wind that blows constantly or an adventure that you never want to end, and there’s also this person that makes bad things better. It’s having a flashlight in a dark room.”

 

Jungkook let his own eyes close, attempting to swallow whatever pain had started to plunge into his heart like a knife. "Since when did you get so poetic?" he laughed softly, hoping the struggle wasn't evident in his voice.

 

“I don’t know.” Jimin responded. “Why do you ask?”

 

"I might be interested in someone." He spoke before he could stop himself, and he silently cursed his stupidity as he bit the inside of his cheek. "I-I was just curious. What it felt like. Whether I felt that way or not." he huffed quietly. "That kind of thing, I guess."

 

Jimin raised his eyebrows, despite knowing Jungkook couldn’t see him do so. “Tell them if you feel that way. Don’t be like me and doubt yourself.” he bit his bottom lip. “It feels better once the feelings are out there.”

 

"I would if I could." he sighed shakily, blinking away the haze that was forming in his eyes. "They've got someone else they're interested in though, so I don't think it would do any good. Some luck, right?" He tried to laugh at himself, but it wasn't as happy as he wanted it to sound.

 

“Even if, you should tell them. Keeping it in will hurt more the longer you don’t act or tell them.” Jimin responded, hesitantly placing his hand on Jungkook’s. “I mean it, seriously. And if they don’t accept your feelings, then there’s someone much better meant for you. It won’t be the end of the world, even if it feels like it.”

 

"Yeah. I think I told you something similar." he closed his eyes, a small tear trailing down his cheek to soak into his pillow. "I'm not sure I like having my own advice thrown back in my face."

 

“If I could change things for you, I would.” Jimin slowly turned to face him and smiled sadly. “It’ll be okay, Jungkook-ah, I swear it.”

 

Jungkook could only manage to force a small smile and a soft whisper. Anything more, and he was sure he'd just completely break down. "Thanks, hyung."

 

•••

 

Jimin found it ironic that Yoongi wanted him to lock his balcony doors, yet often forgot to lock his front door, even before he found a small place for just himself. He wanted to give Yoongi the same small lecture he received about how someone could follow him home one day, though after being gone for two days, it was the last thing on his mind. He and Jungkook had gotten back several hours prior and it was making its way into late afternoon and early evening; Seokjin wanted him to stay home and rest, he wanted to see Yoongi. He was lucky Seokjin was taking Jihyun to a friend’s place so he could make it to Yoongi’s.

 

He released soft breath and quietly shut the door to Yoongi’s apartment and kicked off his shoes at the small entryway. Jimin fixed his black hoodie on his shoulders as he carefully walked through the apartment, accompanied by the soft sound of the piano. He found Yoongi in the back room of the apartment, where he’d moved all of his studio equipment and the piano his parents had left him as a child. His fingers would glide across the ivory keys for a few moments, then pause. Again and again it happened while Jimin leaned against the doorway and watched.

 

With a gentle smile, Jimin pushed his way into the room and s his arms over Yoongi’s shoulders. “You know, you really should lock your front door,” he whispered.

 

"Jimin," Yoongi breathed, letting his stiffened shoulders relax as he rested his hand over his heart. "God, you scared the hell out of me."

 

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I didn’t want to disturb you while you were playing.”

 

"I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow." Yoongi mumbled, turning around on his bench to face the younger boy. "I mean, not that I mind."

 

Jimin smiled slightly. “Surprise? We got back a couple hours ago. Seokjin-hyung thought I should get some rest because of the long drive, but I managed to get a ride over here from him because I wanted to see you.”

 

"You really should listen to Jin-hyung more, you know." Yoongi reached out to grab Jimin's hips and pull him closer, his narrowed eyes staring up at him as he sighed. "He might know what he's talking about, considering the dark circles I can see."

 

“You have a bed, I’ll just sleep in that,” he replied. Jimin smiled down at the blonde boy and rested his arms over his shoulders once again as he stood between his legs. “Problem solved.”

 

"Hm, your reasoning is valid." He hummed, resting his head against Jimin's middle. "I guess I'll let you stay then."

 

“I would’ve been disappointed otherwise.” Jimin twirled Yoongi’s blonde strands around his fingers. “I would’ve had to leave and go see Taehyung instead.”

 

Yoongi scoffed, "Over my dead body. Letting you go with Jungkook was hard enough as it was." He pulled back to gaze up at his counterpart. "How was Seoul? Did he like the university?"

 

“Yeah, it was a great time. We had a good time, though I think Jungkook enjoyed it a bit more than I did.” He swallowed. He hated lying to Yoongi, especially when they were so close, when things were so serene. Jimin knew he’d dug himself into a hole he couldn’t escape from, not without tears and yelling and fighting. “Seoul is great and it was nice going with Jungkook. Though the hotel situation was a bit of an adventure.”

 

"Adventure?" Yoongi quirked an eyebrow at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

 

“There was only one bed.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It worked itself out though.”

 

Yoongi visible stiffened, pursing his lips and slowly letting out a long sigh. His raspy voice seemed to drop an octave as he spoke, "Is that so?"

 

“We didn’t have enough money for two beds.” Jimin rolled his eyes and smirked slightly. “He’s my best friend, it was fine.”

 

"Jimin-ah," he slowly started, pulling Jimin up against him. "If there's one thing Min Yoongi doesn't do, it's share what belongs to him; bestfriend or not." He leaned forward and playfully nipped at his hip bone through his clothes, pulling back enough to raise an eyebrow at him smugly. "I mean, I could always go seek out that cute brunette who gave me his number?"

 

“Are you jealous?” he raised an eyebrow, hoping to conceal the shiver that ran up his spine. “Of my best friend? Of Jungkook?”

 

Yoongi was silent for a few moments, deciding whether he should even entertain his comment comment or not. "Why wouldn't I be? You were gone with another guy all weekend." he smirked up at him slightly. "At least I have a valid reason to be jealous. You were visibly steaming, and I hadn't even been talking to that guy but maybe a minute."

 

“Sh-Shut up!” Jimin hit his shoulder and glared down at him. “The difference is that Jungkook is my best friend, that was a stranger. A stranger you seemed interested in talking to no less. Jungkook isn’t interested in me, he’s my friend.”

 

Yoongi gave him a slight smile as he gazed up at him quietly, so many thoughts being entertained behind his dark eyes, and he brought his arms to wrap completely around Jimin’s waist.

 

“What?” he whined. “I’m serious.”

 

"I know. I'm sorry." he slowly sighed, glancing at the dull carpet before turning his eyes back to Jimin's. He stared at him for a few long moments, a slight sadness seeping into his stare before he found his voice again. "You're beautiful."

 

“You’re gonna be the death of me one day,” he whispered. “But that’s only you, you hear me?”

 

"Yeah." Yoongi gave him a soft smile before retracting his hands to turn back to his piano. "Are you hungry? I thought about getting take-out before you got here."

 

Jimin slowly slipped onto the bench beside him. “A little.” He watched Yoongi’s finger’s run gently across the keys, pressing here and sliding off there. “How long have you played for?”

 

"Since I was," Yoongi had to stop and think about it for a moment, though it didn't stop his fingers from flowing across the keys. "I was around eight, I think. I kind of just, picked up on it on my own." he glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow, "Do you play?"

 

“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “No, I stick to dancing and such. I don’t play instruments. I stick to what I’m good at.”

 

"Dancing and such." Yoongi repeated, chuckling softly. "Sounds like you do more than just dance. What else does 'such' pertain to? What other talents does Park Jimin possess?"

 

“I sing, only little bit.” Jimin replied sheepishly. “And I don’t even do that much anymore. It’s usually Jungkook or Namjoon-hyung who prompts me to do it.”

 

"And you're telling me this now?" Yoongi nudged his shoulder with his own. "I showed you all of my talents!" He stopped playing, turning his eyes to him curiously. "What song do you know? Give me one."

 

“What songs do you know?” he asked, biting his bottom lip.

 

Yoongi's eyes drifted to the piano as he thought for a few long moments. Reaching out, his fingers gently glided over the pearly keys, and a soft melody started to fill the warm silence as he glanced curiously at Jimin.

 

Jimin felt his eyes shut for a moment, allowing himself to work up his silenced nerves before the lyrics began falling from his lips. He could remember hearing it for the first time, he could remember Jungkook listening to it time and again--Jimin could remember the routine Hoseok and himself had worked on for the song. It held so much was everything; passion, sadness, drive.

 

Halfway through the song, Jimin’s gaze shifted briefly to Yoongi as his lips upturned into a small smile. He could feel the intensity of the lyrics, of Yoongi’s eyes on him every few seconds, but the nerves weren’t there like they had been before. Jimin allowed himself to enjoy the serene moment with Yoongi. The moment he so selfishly wanted to keep within forever in fear that as soon as it stopped, everything would crash and burn around them and rip at the seams. For a time, it was just them and the music that filled the space in between.

 

As Yoongi's fingers slowed the rhythm and brought the notes to their ends, he sat there in silence for what felt like forever. There was an overwhelming look of awe held in his placid features as he turned his softened eyes to the boy at his side, his voice barely rising above a whisper. "Just a little, huh?"

 

Jimin smiled down at his lap. “Yeah. Just a little.”

 

"It's," he in a sharp breath before huffing out and shaking his head. It was a good few seconds before he could even speak again. "Wow."

 

“What?” Jimin prompted, bending forward slightly to catch his eye. “What is it?”

 

“You keep finding ways to make me fall in love with you all over again.” Yoongi murmured, pursing his lips as he traced his fingers over the ivory keys. “It’s extremely cruel.”

 

“How is that cruel?” He exhaled a soft laugh and smiled. “In what way does that make sense?”

 

"I wish I could explain." He smiled softly, turning to meet Jimin's eyes. "I wish it didn't effect me so much. You're just," he couldn't seem to find the words, and he leaned his head into his hand as he examined the younger boy's face. "You're just you. A very beautiful, extraordinary, incredible person. It’s not fair."

 

“Says the one who has people literally screaming for him.” Jimin responded, brushing his fading blonde hair from his eyes. “It’s definitely not fair that you’re so talented and amazing and mesmerizing. That’s what isn’t fair, Min Yoongi.”

 

"Fame doesn't make a person, Jimin-ah." Yoongi kept his gaze on Jimin, as if nothing else in the small room existed. "Talent and poetry and dancing; none of it matters in the end. It doesn't make a person who they are. You really just don't see what your soul is capable of. You just don't see what you do to the people who's lives you enter." He blinked slowly. "You don't know what you do to me."

 

“You have such a way with words,” he whispered at his hands. “And it leaves me almost speechless every time you speak or explain something to me. Sometimes it makes me wonder why you took interest in me in the first place.”

 

"I think I could turn that question around and ask you the same thing." Yoongi smiled softly, swallowing before he turned his eyes away to his computer across the room. "I don't suppose I could persuade you into letting me use your vocals for some songs, could I?"

 

“I-I suppose.” Jimin shrugged, toying with the frayed hems of his hoodie. It was probably Yoongi’s, if Jimin had it right, but the clothing had stayed in his room long enough to be considered his own. “If you’d like.”

 

"I very much would. Soon." Yoongi nodded before sighing, pushing himself up from the piano stool and adjusting his shirt over his jeans. "I'm gonna go order food. Do you me a favor and look over that music file, would you? I just finished a couple of things today, and I could use a second opinion."

 

Jimin grasped onto Yoongi’s hand. “Wait a second.”

 

Yoongi raised an eyebrow at him. "What? You want something specific?"

 

“No, I just,” he smiled softly, “I missed you.”

 

"I know." A small smile tugged at Yoongi's lips as he leaned down to peck Jimin's. "Too damn well."

 

•••

 

Christmas was one of those holidays that brought a certain aura to the household, one that made the house feel brighter and the smiles feel warmer. It made waking up a little easier when falling asleep the night before was difficult. Jimin pulled his feet up onto the couch and wrapped his arms around them, watching Seokjin and Namjoon entertain with stories of Christmas between their families in the past. Some Jimin could remember, others he couldn’t--either way it made him smile.

 

The only thing missing was Yoongi, it seemed. Everyone else was there apart from him. In all the time that he and Yoongi had been together and known each other, Jimin never knew if Yoongi properly celebrated Christmas. Jimin had gotten him a present the year before, something simple, but there was something different about this year.

 

Jimin leaned his head back onto the back of the couch and closed his eyes for a few moments. The feeling within the house was serene, peaceful, yet there was a playful air about it as the conversation shifted in the slightest. He didn’t pay attention for the most part, allowing his mind to wander until the sound of the doorbell broke through his reverie. He jumped slightly, alarmed by the sudden sound, but pushed himself up off of the couch.

 

“I’ll get it,” Jimin spoke as he left the room. He brushed his fingers through his hair and opened the door, allowing the cold winter air to blow harshly against his warm clothing. Outside the door stood his boyfriend, hair laced with small snowflakes and a jacket thrown around his shoulders. “You made it.”

 

"You have so little faith you have in me." Yoongi shook his head, the smallest smile coming to his flushed face. "I'm late. I'm sorry, I just," He pursed his lips, pulling his arms from behind his back to hold out a large, snow white teddy bear with big eyes and a box of chocolates attached to its hands. "It's repulsively cheesy, I know. Feel free to punch me in the face for not doing better."

 

“Oh my god, you seriously--” Jimin stopped himself halfway as a smile took over his lips. “You always have to show me up, you jerk.” He opened the door wider, allowing Yoongi step in and shake the snow off of his clothes and hair. “You’re gonna kill me, seriously, I mean it this time”

 

"You always try to show me up! Don't even get me started." Yoongi teased, turning to face his younger counterpart. He held the bear up in front of his face and peaked over its shoulder, giving him his best puppy eyes. "I gotta stay on top of my game."

 

“Thank you,” he smiled, grasping onto Yoongi’s hand. “Here, we’ll put it in the living room for now. Everyone’s here already.”

 

Yoongi let his fingers intertwine between Jimin's, the warmth of his hand making him smile as he let him lead him into the house. "You look nice today."

 

“Thanks.” Jimin glanced over his shoulder at Yoongi and smiled once again. “You do too.”

 

"I do my best." Yoongi raised his eyebrows up at down.

 

"Yoongi-ah!" Seokjin chimed as they entered the room. He was rolling the sleeves to his red and white sweater up his arms as he stepped around the multitudes of feet and people, smacking Jihyun when he tried to trip him. "I'm about to make warm drinks. You guys want some?"

 

“Please,” Jimin replied, gently taking the stuffed animal from Yoongi and setting it off with the other presents. “Do you want any help, hyung?”

 

Jin smiled softly. "I think I've got it. I'll have Jungkook help me out and I'll call you if I need anymore help." He shot Jungkook a look before setting off for the kitchen.

 

Jungkook watched him walk into the kitchen and slowly sighed, willing his stiffened body to push off the couch. "You guys can take my seat." He smiled slightly as he passed, pushing into the kitchen.

 

Jimin nodded over to the newly opened spaces at the end of the couch and slowly trailed over, carefully managing to maneuver over several legs splayed out across the ground. That same warmth was there when he sat down, when Yoongi sat next to him, and when his head slowly drifted to lean on Yoongi’s shoulder. He watched Yoongi fall into conversation with Namjoon and Wonsik, though remained quiet throughout the entirety of their conversing. His eyes drifted from Yoongi to Wonsik, then over to Namjoon, and back to the kitchen doorway.

 

“I’ll be back,” Jimin whispered up at Yoongi before he slowly stood to his feet and maneuvered back through the mess of legs and feet. Though Seokjin hadn’t enlisted his help, he would still attempt it.

 

"Hyung, wait," Jihyun held out the leafy green mistletoe to him nonchalantly. "Here. Do something with this."

 

Jimin stared down at it for a moment. “What? Why?”

 

"Because I don't want it?" Jihyun raised an eyebrow at him like he was crazy. "You can get rid of it for all I care. Jaehwan-hyung brought it as a joke, and I don't see myself kissing any of you."

 

He narrowed his eyes at his younger brother, then snatched it from his hand and walked into the kitchen. Seokjin and Jungkook were both busy, and conversation was void in the silent kitchen.

 

A small smirk tainted his lips. “Jungkook-ah.”

 

"What, hyung?" Jungkook called back, not even bothering to glance over his shoulder as he pulled mugs from the cabinet.

 

“Have you ever,” he paused and leaned against the counter next to him, toying with the mistletoe in his hands, “been caught under mistletoe?”

 

Jungkook glanced at him and raised an eyebrow before he scoffed. "God, no. Where the hell have you been the last decade?" He set a couple of the cups on the counter. "I've only ever been here, remember?"

Jimin held the small item up between his fingers for his friend to see. “You sure?”

 

He rolled his eyes. "Funny." Jungkook turned away and took the mugs over to where Jin stood. "You keep that to yourself."

 

“Jungkook-ah,” he whined, edging closer to him with the mistletoe held above his head. “Where’s the fun in that when I could mess with you?”

 

"I'm warning you, you better stay away." Jungkook swallowed nervously, quickly moving around the kitchen to avoid his friend. "You're treading on dangerous territory hyung!"

 

“Am I?” Jimin challenged as he advanced toward the younger boy.

 

Jungkook hadn't realized he'd cornered himself until he had to turn and face Jimin, his soft laugh nervous as he held a hand out in front of him. "Go away! Stop being such a jerk!"

 

“I’m just messing with you,” he chuckled, briefly holding the mistletoe up above his head again. “It’s Christmas, I’m allowed to do these things, you know.”

 

He watched him for a long moment. "Yeah?" The black turtleneck he wore suddenly seemed so much tighter, and he swallowed hard. "Well two can play at that game."

 

It was a rash and dangerous decision, but took only a moment to initiate. Jungkook had lost all common sense as he reached his arm around Jimin's waist and leaned down. There was little thought as he brought his lips to gently press a soft, slow kiss against Jimin's. It was a deep and warm kiss that lasted a little longer than he had meant for it to.

 

Jimin gasped against his lips and held his hands up slightly, hovering over Jungkook’s shoulders. It only took a moment for his senses to catch up with him, for guilt to swarm through his mind. His stomach lurched considerably as he pushed away from the younger boy and backed into the side of the island with a bewildered expression strewn across his face. It wasn’t like kissing Yoongi--it couldn’t have been like kissing Yoongi, it was Jungkook. It was the last person he expected.

 

Jungkook released a long breath as he watched Jimin, and he wasn't sure what to say as he stared at his friend's shocked face. He'd taken it a little too far. He'd crossed a barrier he knew he shouldn't have crossed. All he could do was force out a laugh. "You started it, hyung. I'm just messing with you. It's Christmas, I'm allowed to do that."

 

“I-I didn’t think y-you’d actually kiss me,” he stammered, uneasily curling his fingers around the edge of the countertop.

 

"Yah," Jungkook's shoulder was jerked back rather harshly, and he was brought to meet Yoongi's stoic expression accompanied by fiery eyes. "You're something else, you know that?"

 

Jungkook didn't even flinch as he stared the older boy straight in the eyes, tucking his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I know exactly what I am." he admitted, the smallest hint of a crooked smile pulling at his lips. "It's a Christmas tradition, hyung. It doesn't mean anything." he walked away before Yoongi could say anything else, walking back over to Jin to help finish the drinks. If Jin had seen anything that just happened, he didn't bother to mention it as they finished their task.

 

“I-I was just messing with him,” Jimin spoke, carefully approaching his blonde counterpart. “I didn’t think he’d take it that far.”

 

"Crazy kid." Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, watching Jungkook's back through narrowed eyes that looked like they could pierce him. So many thoughts turned over and over in his mind as he turned to face Jimin. "You're okay though, right?"

 

He swallowed. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

"Are you sure?" He questioned quietly, reaching his hand out to gently grasp the sleeve of Jimin's sweater. "You don't look okay. You look a little pale."

 

“Yeah, I’m just,” Jimin released a long breath, “shocked, is all.”

 

"It's okay." Yoongi sighed himself, reaching an arm around Jimin's shoulders. He played it off the best he could, smiling slightly at the younger boy. "It's why he did it. You should have seen the look on your face. It was a little amusing."

 

“Amusing?” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you seriously calling it amusing?”

 

"What else would you like me to call it?" Yoongi raised an eyebrow. "'You should have seen your face, it was so dumb'?"

 

“Shut up,” he groaned, shoving Yoongi’s side. “I seriously feel bad.”

 

"Why?" he asked. "Because Jungkook went to far with it? You shouldn't. You didn't expect it, I get that. Hey," he turned Jimin to face him, making him meet his eyes. "Seriously, it's okay. I trust you."

 

“I still feel bad,” he sighed. “I should’ve just went to you with it instead of messing with him.”

 

"I won't necessarily disagree with that," Yoongi started, picking the small thing up off of the counter to twist it in his fingers and hold it up in front of his face. "I do feel like I'm missing out on this so called 'Christmas tradition'."

 

“I mean,” Jimin hummed, tilting his head to the side in the slightest fashion. “We could fix that.”

 

"Hm," Yoongi stepped closer, slipping an arm around Jimin's waist. "Care to explain how it works?"

 

“It’s quite simple, really.” He grasped the mistletoe in Yoongi’s hand and held it above their heads as he brushed against the older boy’s lips. Jimin smirked slightly and placed a slow kiss against his lips. “Were my instructions helpful, hyung?”

 

"Mm," Yoongi let his eyes close, leaning back in again. "I don't think I've quite grasped the last step." He slowly reached a hand behind Jimin's neck. "Show me again."

 

He chuckled against Yoongi’s lips and trailed his hands down to rest on his hips. “You’re a particularly slow learner today.” he bit his lip. “Not that I mind.”

 

"Must be the cold." Yoongi laughed softly, letting his lips ghosting over Jimin's before pulling him into another kiss.

 

"Cocoa," Jungkook interrupted, stepping between the two as he handed them their mugs. "PDA isn't allowed with 10 or more people in the house. Namjoon-hyung's rules, not mine." He smiled slightly before walking through the kitchen door into the living room, sipping his own cup.

 

Jimin wrapped one of his hands around the mug and ran the other over his face. “Right, that’s a rule. Of course.”

 

"I'm honestly surprised they haven't just banned us from your house completely," Yoongi mumbled, trying to suppress the smile that wanted to cross his lips. "Considering how many times they've walked in on us."

 

“That’s a miracle in itself.” he chuckled with a soft smile. Jimin sipped at his hot chocolate, watching the warm liquid swirl within his cup for a few moments. “I suppose it’s a good thing you have an apartment if they ever ban us from this place.”

 

Yoongi smiled over at him, giving him a quick wink. "I suppose so."

 

Jimin hadn’t imagined what Yoongi would bring with his presence--he was unpredictable in some senses. It wasn’t long before everyone was lounged around in the living room once again, joking, laughing, sharing stories. Jimin was almost surprised when the stories didn’t take an embarrassing dive in the direction of growing up with Namjoon and the events that came with it. Though the lack of embarrassing stories didn’t stop Jihyun from making his own jokes about the snow white teddy bear sitting in the corner of the room.

 

By the early evening hours, everyone was shrugging on their jackets and coats and hats to brave the cold outside. It was somewhat of a tradition Jimin didn’t mention to Yoongi, going to the park to see the beautifully strung up lights on Christmas night. Jimin slipped into the backseat of Seokjin’s car, followed closely behind by Taehyung and Yoongi who slipped in with him. Even with the car running and heat starting to circulate through the car, Jimin couldn’t help but shiver under his thick hoodie and long sleeved shirt.

 

“I can’t believe you’ve never even seen this,” Jimin scoffed, pushing the car door open as Seokjin parked the vehicle and began climbing out as well. “Seriously.”

 

"I didn't even know this place existed." Yoongi confirmed. He stepped out behind him, tucking his hands deep in his pockets as he looked across the way at the glowing park. "Wow."

 

Jihyun took off across the parking lot with Jungkook, the both of them laughing as they shoved at each other in hopes of a head start.

 

“It’s beautiful, right?” he responded as his eyes drifted around the soft glow that illuminated the walkway. “Namjoon-hyung’s parents brought us here when we were younger and the tradition just kind of carried on, I guess.”

 

"It is beautiful." Yoongi spoke softly, watching the way the lights lit up the walkways winding walkways. "It brings a certain life to everything around it. Like winter's version of spring."

 

“Yeah,” Jimin rasped quietly, trailing his fingers through snow that had caught on a low branch. He shivered. “I like how that sounds.”

 

Yoongi trailed behind Jimin for a good ways, watching the cold wind rush through his faded hair, his face always intent as Jimin's voice excitedly explained different aspects of the park to him. It was a moment that was peaceful to him, even with multitudes of other visitors. It was a time that he took in as much of each moment he could. He took in the chill of the winter wind and the smell of street food, the warmth of the lights and the soft music that played in the distance. But the thing he paid the most attention to was the younger boy, who pulled him around the park. It was entranced by the smile that stayed on Jimin's lips and the flush in his cheeks from the cool breeze. It was completely enraptured by his voice and the sparkle that his dark eyes held.

 

“I love winter but,” Jimin paused and breathing out a long breath that caught on the air in small, visible particles. His body shivered under his thick clothing as a small breeze rush past him. He could hear everyone trailing behind them, laughing and carrying on, and he could see Jihyun and Jungkook a small ways ahead of them. “It’s so cold.”

 

A full moment hadn't even passed before Yoongi slipped his arms out of his long coat, leaving him in his white sweater. "You should have gotten a thicker coat." He paused in his walk to throw the thick material around Jimin's shoulders, pulling it around him tightly as a soft smile erupted across his lips. "This seems familiar, doesn't it?"

 

“You’re gonna freeze to death, oh my god.” he groaned, though allowed Yoongi to fix the jacket around him. “A little more than familiar, if you ask me.”

 

"It's okay. I was a little warm anyways." he breathed, reaching his hand up to brush the small strands of blonde out of his eyes so he could properly see them.

 

“If you freeze to death tonight, it isn’t my fault.” Jimin quipped with a wink so quick, Yoongi almost didn’t catch it as a grin splayed itself across the younger boy’s lips.

 

"I will have freezed for a good cause." he stated. There was something simple about that moment. It wasn't anger or lust or sadness. It was as gentle as the kiss Yoongi slowly placed on Jimin's right cheek, as warm as the look in his eyes. It was serene.

 

“I’m glad you came over today,” Jimin spoke softly. “I don’t think it would’ve been quite right not having you here.”

 

"Me too." A warm smile revealed Yoongi's sincere happiness in that moment, and it continued to stay with him as he tucked his hands in his pockets and jogged ahead of his younger counterpart. His own eyes sparkling with a newfound happiness. "I bet I can reach Jihyun quicker than you. You look like a walking marshmallow." He didn't even give him a chance to respond as he took off across the park.

 

“Not fair, you had a head start!” Jimin shouted as he stood off across the sidewalk after him