Chapter Four

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It felt like hours, almost days. Jimin laced up and down the length of the operating room, hoping someone would say something that would ease the desperation he felt building up within him. It was late afternoon before he became too impatient. Nothing had come of Namjoon, Jihyun, or Seokjin. Nothing.

Jimin shook his head and made his way out into the hall. “I’m not sitting here anymore. I have to find my family.”

He wrapped his arms around himself and strode down the hall in the direction he’d come before. The emergency room opened up into several other rooms, doors flanking left and right a nurses station at every other corner—it was a maze. Jimin ran his trembling fingers through his hair as he walked out into a hallway leading towards the emergency room waiting area. He forced himself not to cry, not to give up, they were there somewhere, they had to be.

The sound of rapid footsteps pounding, pushing against the cold, tiled flooring was the only thing that caught his attention. Desperate brown eyes stared fearfully past him and a familiar head of brunette hair fell around a desperate face.

“Jungkook,” he breathed, quickening his pace toward the nurse's station. “You’re here.”

"Excuse me, I-I'm looking for Park Jimin? Or Jihyun? Are they okay? Please, I need to know!" Jungkook pleaded desperately with a passing nurse but was told they didn't know. Again he asked a different nurse but ended up with the same results. He ran a hand through his hair. "."

“Jungkook!” a voice called. Another pair of footsteps ran up from around the corner leading into the waiting room, followed by another; Jimin shamelessly found himself hoping Yoongi had shown up somewhere. Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook’s back as he rounded the corner. “Why weren’t you answering your phone?”

Jungkook turned to Taehyung, his lips trembling with every word. "Hyung! J-Jimin-hyung!" He reached out to grasp Taehyung's arms. "Is he okay? What happened? What's going on?"

“We don’t know, okay?” Taehyung responded softly, glancing back to Hoseok over his shoulder. “All we know is that there was a car accident, there’s nothing much else that we know right now. We were waiting for you. Have you talked to anyone else?”

Jungkook closed his eyes, tiny tears falling down his cheeks to soak into his denim jacket. "I-I called Taekwoon-hyung and Jaehwan-hyung, and they're on their way but I," his voice got shaky, and he had to take a moment before he could speak again. "I-I tried calling Yoongi-hyung, but all I got was the voicemail."

“It’s gonna be okay, alright?” He pulled Jungkook into a tight hug. “Everything is going to be fine.” His eyes shifted to Hoseok, a desperate-looking suddenly overcoming his face over Jungkook’s shoulder. “R-Right, hyung?”

Hoseok gently patted Jungkook's shoulder, his face drained and paler than usual. His usual cheerful nature was nowhere in sight, replaced with worry and an unusual seriousness. "It's okay, Jungkook-ah. Let's find out what's going on, okay? I'm sure everything is okay."

Jimin watched them slowly walk over to the nurses' station in the corner of the room, timidly managing to follow behind them. Jungkook never cried, he never showed his struggles and his pain, he always worried about Jimin’s issues over his own. Jimin fought back the tears building behind his eyes. He couldn’t cry, not yet.

A nurse looked expectantly at the approaching trio. “Can I help you?”

"Yeah, uh, we had a couple of friends brought in this morning from a car accident and we'd like to know how they're doing," Hoseok asked, the seriousness in his voice laced with the worry he tried not to show.

“Names?” she raised her eyebrows.

Taehyung glanced at Jungkook. “Park Jimin, Park Jihyun, Kim Namjoon, and Kim Seokjin.”

"Are they here? Are they okay?"Jungkook chimed in, looking at her expectantly.

“It’ll only take a moment,” the nurse responded, smiling sympathetically at him. She pursed her lips and scrolled through her computer expectantly. “Park Jimin and Kim Namjoon are still in surgery, they’ll be transferred to the ICU after surgery is complete, and,” she paused, “Park Jihyun is in the middle of a CT Scan, he’ll be in the ICU as well.”

"Jin-hyung? I-I mean, what about Kim Seokjin?" Hoseok questioned, tapping his fingers on the desk.

The nurse shifted uncomfortably as she tapped her fingers on the keyboard. “Kim Seokjin was DOA, he was gone before they could do anything. I’m sorry.”

“Wh-What?” Taehyung stammered shakily. His head shook wildly and the hands that had previously held to his younger friend clutched onto Hoseok. “No. N-No that can’t happen!”

"Oh my god," Jungkook whispered, taking a couple of steps back. "Oh my god, Jin-hyung." He ran a hand over his face, slowly crouching down on the floor to ease his nausea. He could barely even get words out, falling back to sit on the cold tile floor. "Jin-hyung."

Jimin felt his legs tremble beneath him. “Jin-hyung. No.” He pushed his hands through his hair and flowered his shaking body to the floor while hot tears began rushing down his cheeks in rapid succession. “No, damn it!”

Hoseok held onto Taehyung tightly, letting the younger boy cry as he did his best to hold onto his own stability. Even though he pushed to stay calm, it didn't stop the warmth of fresh tears from trailing down his cheeks. "Yah, we've got to keep ourselves together, okay? We have to think about Namjoon and Jimin and Jihyun. We have to be strong for them, okay?"

“Okay.” Taehyung forced out. He held his head back and wiped at the tears falling from the corners of his eyes. “Yeah.”

Jungkook was suddenly on his feet, staggering the slightest in the rush to get up.

"Jungkook-ah," Hoseok spoke softly, watching their younger friend carefully.

"I-I'm," he stammered, using the back of his hand to clear his vision. "I'm going to find Yoongi-hyung.”

Hoseok walked over to the younger boy, reaching his hand out to him, “Jungkook-ah-”

Jungkook snatched his arm away. “I'm going to find him! There’s no point in me being here right now. I can’t just ing sit here and wait around! I have to find him. I will find him." He muttered, staring at the wall for a long moment before turning away and stalking down the long hallways towards the entrance.

"Jungkook!" Hoseok called, sighing slowly. "Damn it."

Taehyung ran his hands over his face. “Jungkook knows him better than us, maybe he’ll find him,” he sighed quietly. “I really hope he does.”

“Especially now,” Hoseok whispered, slowly falling back into one of the waiting room chairs. “He needs to be here now more than ever.”

•••

Maybe he had been overthinking things, perhaps they weren’t as big as he thought they were. But at the same time, maybe he wasn’t. Jimin sunk down into his seat across from Jungkook, absentmindedly stirring at his iced coffee with lidded eyes. He didn’t know how to bring these things up, even to his best friend. There was no way to start off something of the sort.

“Your drink,” Jimin coughed slightly, “smells like Christmas threw up inside of it.”

“Just how I like it!” Jungkook hummed, sipping the substance before letting it rest on the table between his hands. “I take pride in my teas, hyung. Don’t belittle my taste.”

“I don’t know why you’re so proud of that, but I frankly don’t care enough to ask.” He muttered, toying with the end of his straw. Jimin felt a pang of anxiety race through his chest as his heartbeat accelerated slightly. “Seriously, God, Jungkook.”

Jungkook he smiled, sighing softly as he glanced out at the misty rain. "Alright. What's on your mind?" he quizzed, leaning his elbows on the table. "You've been acting very odd lately. Is it Yoongi-hyung? How is all that going?"

“Uhm, good. Yeah, good, good.” He sipped his drink nervously. “He comes over a lot now, everyone adores him, really. I even tried to teach him one of my routines.” Jimin bit harshly into his bottom lip and inhaled deeply. “But, it’s just,” he stopped himself, sinking down into his seat.

“Just what?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “I mean, do you have a problem with him or something?”

“No! It’s nothing like that, not at all,” he mumbled. “Look, we were messing around, Jihyun walked in, and then he told Seokjin-hyung what he thought he saw. They were joking around about when we’d make it official and Yoongi-hyung played along, but something felt like it happened.”

Jungkook’s once raised eyebrows furrowed considerably. “Meaning? What? Like, you want it to be serious?” his eyes widened slightly, “Y-You want it to like, be official?”

“I-I don’t know!” Jimin ran his fingers through his hair and looked at his friend desperately. “I’ve never thought about that towards anyone, let alone Yoongi-hyung. It n-never even crossed my mind, and it started out as a joke, Jungkook! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

"So, wait wait wait," Jungkook held up a hand. His face twisting with confusion as he tried to piece everything together. "So, to clarify here, you're saying that what was once an innocent joke now has you thinking seriously? About Yoongi-hyung?" He looked at him seriously, “You actually like, LIKE like Yoongi-hyung?”

Jimin covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know, Jungkook! It’s just, it’s different for some reason. He’s, I don’t know. I’m so confused, Jungkook I’m serious.”

Jungkook was silent for a few moments, trying to process all this new information. He sat back in his chair and let out a heavy breath. "Uh, wow, okay. I mean, I guess this is,” He laughed slightly, “Wow, I did not see this coming to be ing honest.”

“You’re not helping, oh my god.” Jimin groaned. “You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to help me in these situations! I’m seriously freaking out, I’m terrified, Jungkook.”

Jungkook puffed up his cheeks before releasing the breath, leaning forward against the table again, "Okay, talking seriously now. What has you so freaked out? Is it like, him in general, or what he does or? What exactly has you terrified?"

“Just, the way he reacted, how this just suddenly came about. I thought it was just infatuation at first, but I’ve known him for a while now so I know that’s not it.” he frowned at the table, tracing patterns around on the side of his cup. “If this is actually something and he doesn’t think the same, what the hell am I supposed to do?”

Jungkook sighed, “God, I'm not gay, but okay." He thought for a long moment before speaking. "What would it really hurt if you just talked to him about it though? I mean yeah, he’s older, he’s got all this experience and this, mysteriousness that no one quite understands. It’s scary. I get it. But,” Jungkook crossed his arms. "What would it really hurt if you just took that chance?"

“But what if it ruins everything?” He asked. Desperation laced his tone with every word that escaped while he hands shook in his lap. “What if I say something and it ruins everything that we had before? I want him in my life either way and if that goes south, what happens?”

"What would be more painful though? Taking the chance and seeing how he feels or living with this secret that will eat away at you everytime you're around him?" Jungkook retorted. He scoffed, "And God, you know, you’re talking as if I’m not sitting right here in front of you! Geez, some friend you are." He sighed, reaching out to set his hand on Jimin's, and his large eyes met a pair equally as dark as his own. "I’m not here just because we’re friends, Jimin-hyung. I’m here because I seriously care about you. If things go south for you guys, I’ll be your crutch, yeah?”

Jimin smiled at his younger friend. “Thank you, Jungkook. I’m serious, thank you. I owe you. I owe you basically all the time, Jesus.”

"You owe me almost a thousand dollars worth of therapy sessions, trust me, I've kept count." Jungkook scoffed, retracting his hand to pick up his mug. "I warn you now though, if this goes anywhere, you better not start talking in the first person plural! ‘We never do that”, ‘we love music’, ‘we only eat quinoa’!" He mocked, gagging. "I swear, I will shoot you.”

“If I do that, I’ll give you the gun.”

•••

“It’s not gonna be that bad.”

Jimin wasn’t sure how many times Namjoon and Seokjin had rotated the phrase between themselves before and on the ride to the Halloween party. Yoongi had invited him weeks before, much before he began second-guessed and confusing himself with every aspect of their friendship. Jimin wasn’t even sure if Yoongi was expecting him to show up or wanted him to show up.

He looked down at his outfit. A white hat was hiding the majority of his blonde hair and loose ripped skinny jeans showed off large portions of his legs. Everything was too big for him. Namjoon, Seokjin, Jihyun, even Jungkook, has complemented the look and how it suited him.

“If you say that again, Namjoon-hyung, I swear I’m gonna throw up in your backseat and you’ll have to clean it up,” Jimin responded, blinking down at his jeans.

“Jimin, we’ve told you that you look great a million times,” Namjoon spoke. “Yoongi invited you for a reason.”

"Remember, deep breaths." Seokjin soothed, turning into the parking lot of their destination. "It's just Yoongi, Jimin-ah. You've been around him constantly for the last several months, okay? If you have any problems, just let him know. You trust him, don't you?"

“Of course I do, this is just so out of my element.” Jimin leaned his head against the window and bit his bottom lip. “I don’t look like me, I don’t feel like me, and this isn’t something I do. I can’t believe I’m doing this for him.”

Jin sighed and put the car in park, turning in his seat to look back at the younger male, "Do you want to go home then?"

“No, hyung.” He replied softly. “Thank you for driving me. I’ll call you if I have any issues.”

"Before you leave, just remember that you won't know if you like something until you try it. You liked to dance when you tried it, didn't you? Think of it like that. If you end up not liking this new persona, just chuck the clothes and go back to being yourself." Jin smiled slightly. "You're going to be fine, okay?"

“Yeah, Jimin,” Namjoon chimed in, turning to face him as well. “If you really don’t like it that bad, get rid of the clothes and don’t do this anymore. And if you tell Yoongi and he doesn’t respect that, that’s not your problem, it’s his.”

“Thank you,” Jimin spoke, popping the door open. “I’ll be home later tonight.”

“Have fun!” Namjoon called after him.

"Be safe!" Jin waved, watching as he exited the car. He sighed as he watched him walk away. "I don't think he's gonna come home tonight, to be completely honest."

Namjoon snorted. “Oh yeah, definitely not.”

There were already dozens of guests leaning against the outside of the building and the small empty portion of the parking lot, some talking casually, others laughing. Jimin stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he nervously approached the building, allowing his eyes to wander about the space for Yoongi. A small sigh of relief washed over him when he spotted the blonde male leaned against the building with a small group; his outfit could’ve matched Jimin’s in color and style.

Jimin hesitantly