Sungjin - Three words

DAY6 DREAMS
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I love you.

Three simple words.

Are they really very hard to say? Is it really that difficult? I hear everyone around me saying it, so why does it often feel like I have to beg him to say it before he does? Why does it seem like I am the only one begging for validation in this relationship and he’s the one that doesn’t seem to care?

Sometimes I really think that I am in a one sided relationship with him, where I constantly feel like I’m interacting with a piece of wood that can’t say anything back to me.

Sometimes I just want to beat him into a pulp but of course I won’t do that. I can never bring myself to do that. I love him too much.  

But sometimes...sometimes… I-I… I just want to feel like I’m not the only one that’s giving in the relationship.

 

Tonight, these thoughts keep me up again. Sitting up in our shared bed, I toss my hair out of face, tucking a strand behind my ear as I stare down at Sungjin’s sleeping figure beside me. He has a hand draped over my thighs, his steady breathes tickling the insides of my bare thigh. He never says “I love you” back to me ever, and the only time he’ll be willing to do skinship with me is during times like this, when he’s unconscious and off in dreamland. God knows what this man dreams off when he’s sleeping so deeply, probably not me. Working my fingers through his soft locks, I try to find comfort in the familiar action, hoping it would lull me to sleep. Sungjin stirs, responding to my touch. He nestles closer to me, his cheek now resting on my thighs. He does this all the time, but each time he does, it still sends sparks flying across my skin. Yet I bet he feels nothing.

Sungjin ah… are we even dating? Is this even a relationship if you don’t show any affection?

 

Helpless in my situation, I let out an exasperated sigh, closing my eyes to try to sleep. The last sensation I was aware of was being laid to sleep, the short ends of his hair tickling my forehead.

---

Awakened by the morning heat, it took me some time to regain my senses from the lack of sleep. Stretching across the length of the bed, my legs came into contact with the bedsheets instead of Sungjin’s legs like they usually do, and I was left looking at his empty pillow, rather than his sleeping face. Reaching across his side of the bed, I bring the small digital clock close to my face, my bleary eyes barely making out the time.

6am. He’s up early again. Maybe I should go outside to see if he’s still around.

Pushing myself off the bed, I shuffle out of the bedroom, my eyes immediately squinting to adjust to the bright white lights of the living room. As I rub my eyes, I could make out Sungjin’s figure hastily preparing the dining table, glancing to check at his wristwatch every few seconds.

“Hey darling...”

“Oh! Hey babe, it’s too early for you to be up.”

“Woken up by the heat, and I could say the same back to you. A certain Park Sungjin I know would never be up so early.”

“Did I forget to tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“That we have rehearsal today for our concert on Sunday.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be tomorrow? You told me Saturday, today’s a Friday.”

“Yea the boys wanted to have more rehearsals at the venue so we just booked the venue yesterday. Sorry sweetheart but I got to go now; I made you breakfast so remember to eat it. Drive safely on the road and remember to text me when you’ve arrived at work!”

“Yea I will. Bye, love you.”

“Bye!”

The whole conversation was over in seconds, and I don’t remember much of it. But I do remember saying  “love you.”

 

And I remember that he didn’t say it back.

---

True to my word, I texted Sungjin the moment I safely pulled into the parking space at work. He texted back with a thumbs up emoji and the heavy stone began weighing in my chest again.

Oh, why am I getting so worked up over it? He does this all the time, I should be used to it by now.

Turning the screen black, I toss my phone into my bag. I went about my day at work, trying my best to not think about him. Yet the stone kept getting heavier and heavier in my chest, at some point making it physically hard to breathe. Yet all I could do was let out heavy sighs; no one was going to understand how this feels like even if I told them. Neck deep in work, I only realised it was time to knock off when I began to hear the sound of bags being zipped and laptop lids being shut. Standing up, I shoulder my bag as I drop Sungjin to text to say that I’m coming over, hoping that I’ve got enough time to catch a glimpse of them before they start Round 2 of rehearsals.

---

I pull into the stadium car park in a record 40 minutes after making a trip to Starbucks, leaving me with another 20 to catch up with them. In a measly attempt to shield myself from the rain, I place one hand over my head, the other holding onto my bag of Starbucks items. The staff were the first to greet me, and I pass them their share of snacks and drinks. Sungjin follows straight after, relieving me of the bag carrying duties.

“You didn’t have to run in the rain, why didn’t you use the umbrella in the car?”

“Sungjin, it’s fine. Besides, I didn’t have enough hands for that. How was rehearsal so far? Where are the rest of the boys?”

Sungjin begins patting my face with the towel hanging around his neck as I talk, eventually moving along to clean the rain droplets that have made their way to my neck as well.

“Firstly, keep running in the rain like that and you’re going to get sick. Secondly, rehearsal has been great so far, except for some sound issues for Wonpil’s solo stage that need some fixing. Thirdly, the boys have been waiting eagerly for you since you texted me 40 minutes ago, they’re in the dressing room.”

“Lies; more like they’ve been waiting for the food.”

“Baby, are you jealous? Ok to be fair, they are waiting for the food but they have not shut up about wanting to see you since this morning.”

“Oh really? Is that so now?”

“It is.”

Somehow, Sungjin’s hands find mine as both of us walk towards the waiting room but the conversation gets interrupted by Young K’s loud cheers upon the sight of me and the food, and Wonpil breaks the two of us up by engulfing me in a tight hug.

“THANKS FOR THE FOOD Y/N!”

“You’re welcome Hungry K~”

100% mesmerised by the food, Young K ignores my teasing, before poking the straw through the lid of his iced Americano. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he smacks his lips together as he leans back in the plush sofa, sipping on the drink like a newborn baby. Meanwhile, Jae and Wonpil engage in a fight over the last chocolate croissant, with Jae attacking by smacking Wonpil’s hands away, ultimately cementing his victory with a triumphant bite into the pastry. Dowoon remains the only unbothered one, stealthily taking his own ice blended vanilla with no one to fight him for his blueberry muffin.

“Am a the leader of a bunch of babies, or a bunch of men in their 20s?”

Despite the harsh jab at s, Sungjin passes over his own chocolate croissant to Wonpil with a small shake of his head and smirk on his lips. Wonpil’s face lights up at the sight of the food, sticking his tongue out at Jae’s scandalised expression.

“Sungjin my good friend, you should not have done that. It was supposed to be payback for him stealing my churros the last time!”

“Hyung, you gotta let that go. It’s been months since he stole your churros, and technically he only stole one. You took the last one back.”

Jae shoots Sungjin a glare for exposing him, but soon resumes to his usual program of sipping on his drink between each bite of food. The whole room falls into a comfortable silence soon after; I didn’t want to disturb them after a tiring day of rehearsals. Sungjin my knuckles with his thumb, moving back and forth along the thin skin. I thought no one would notice what Sungjin does but I should know better; nothing escapes Young K’s sharp fox eyes.

“Hyung why don’t both of you do skinship often?”

The question catches Sungjin off guard, and he nearly chokes on his drink.

“Look, my personal life-”

Sungjin attempts to defend himself, only for Wonpil to add to the mess.

“Oh it is so frustrating looking at the both of you! Can we get some action already!”

“Ya Kim Wonpil! What sort of action do you think you’re going to get?”

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lyricalwritings
Wonpil up last - sometime tmr or on Tues :)

Comments

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PrincessJin4Life590
#1
Chapter 51: aweeee dowoon is such a cutie
PrincessJin4Life590
#2
Chapter 48: This one was so cuteeeeeeee
the image of a flistered Jae is too much like fhdskj
xiumin120801 #3
Chapter 50: THIS IS SO ROMANTIC AWWWWWWW AND SUDDENLY REMINDS ME OF HIS IG POSTS :")
theorange #4
Chapter 40: I didn't cry, I BAWLED MY EYES OUT ??????
PinkBlueBeauty
#5
Chapter 46: Have I told you that I like how you write? It's like when they are sad I am sad, when they are happy, I am happy. It's not like I'm reading a story, but living with them.
PinkBlueBeauty
#6
Chapter 45: I keep seeing Wonpil as this cute little boy (even though he's just one year younger than me). Guess frustration, gathered throughout years of their friendship was hard for him. I was also so eager for her to figure it out already.
PinkBlueBeauty
#7
Chapter 44: This is so cute, I kind of agree with all of this. Would like very much to see Wonpil with little humans.
Kpopidolspa #8
Chapter 48: It amazes me how you got girl's attitude in my mind. Whoa. This is the best. Better than what I expected-- and I didn't even expect you'll pick mine! Hahaha
A big thank youuu!
Kpopidolspa #9
Chapter 47: This. Is. Cute. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Kpopidolspa #10
Chapter 46: I really thought this was one of your suoer angsty once where the readers dies (just like the one with Brian.) I was bracing myself for some death scene but got welcome by some storm fluff. HAHAHA
Thanks!