[Final year of high school]

You remember where it first started. Under that big willow tree by the corner of the school field.

"Done!"

"Yay! Thank you!"

I turn around to face a grinning Wonpil as he passed the marker back to me.

"Now that you've signed my uniform... what else is there for you to do? Oh yes! The book!"

He raises his eyebrows at you as you rummage through your bag, presenting to him a notebook and pen.

"Write a small message in the book for me? I want to remember everyone that has been with me on this high school journey."

"Sure."

"First page, left the biggest space for you."

Wonpil bursts out laughing at the sight of his big face plastered on the first page. But soon he calms down, thinking long and hard about what to write in your book, chewing on the ends of your pen as he thinks.

There's so much he wants to say...but he's afraid he'll scare you away. How to be subtle yet clear about it?

He blushes furiously as he pens down the words sincerely, biting onto his lower lip the entire way to prevent himself from grinning widely.

"Done! You can read it now."

"Now?"

"Yea." A nod and a grin.

The notebook returns to your hands and you find the page easily, reading through it slowly.

In his classic long-winded style, Wonpil starts with how he first met you in middle school, then goes on to basically narrate your entire friendship through middle school and high school. Yet the essence of the message is in the last line.

Let's hang out more over summer break? Namsan Tower? We can take a stroll along the bridge with love locks!

He looks at you expectantly, awaiting your favorable reply yet your reaction is not one that he expects.

"Yea we can go Namsan! See the pretty summer foliage but love locks? Ayyy why would we go there? We're not a couple!"

You punch him in the shoulder zestfully, hoping to lighten up the heavy mood that threatens to suffocate the both of you.

"Ayyy you're right, what was I thinking? Love locks? Pffft it's kind of overrated. Let's not go there. When do you want to go to Namsan?"

"Next week? But then again I've got plans elsewhere too..."

You rattle on and on about your schedule and plans for the summer holidays, but at this point, Wonpil was listening only halfheartedly.

So... I guess you're going to just laugh it over huh?

---

[Present day; sophomore year in college]

"Yah Y/N!"

You jump at the sudden loud voice, wondering why on Earth Kim Wonpil was still in school at this ungodly timing.

You hear footsteps thundering towards you as you turn, finding a mop of long brown hair right in front of you soon after.

"Why are you still here?"

"Waiting for you."

"Why? We didn't arrange to meet for dinner today right?"

"We didn't. I wanted to wait for you so we could go home together."

"You didn't have to-"

"Y/N!"

Another voice interrupts your conversation with Wonpil, and you both turn to look at the new participant.

"Hi Jinyoung, not heading home yet?"

"No, I wanted to say bye to you before leaving."

"Oh...you didn't have to! I was still inside talking to Prof Oh about the project, you must have waited for a long time."

"For you, it's ok. Get home safely Y/N! Your friend?"

"Oh, him? Yes, since middle school. Wonpil, meet Jinyoung! We take classes on digital design together."

"Nice to meet you Wonpil. Jinyoung."

"Nice to meet you too Jinyoung."

Something is off.

There was nothing wrong with Wonpil's greeting but you know he's not acting like himself. Wonpil would always greet people with a smile, not like this with a stoic facial expression.

Does he not like Jinyoung?

Jinyoung shifts his eyes nervously between you and Wonpil, sensing the tension in the air too. Eager to leave, Jinyoung breaks the silence first.

"I'll make a move then. Get home safely Y/N!"

Jinyoung ruffles your hair as a parting gesture but from the corner of your eye, you can see Wonpil shooting daggers towards the both of you. More specifically, at Jinyoung and the hand that lay atop of your head. His smoldering gaze follows Jinyoung even as he moves further away from you, turning to wave goodbye to you.

"Wonpil ah, did you have to stare so intensely at Jinyoung? You scared him."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I was just making sure he wouldn't try anything funny with you, some guys out there are scary."

"Not Jinyoung, he's fine."

"You two are close?"

"Quite? We're design assistants under Prof Oh now so I see him often."

"Is he nice to you?"

"Well. Yea. He's sweet, he buys me dinner sometimes when I'm busy and I forget. He stays back to help me when I hit a creative block. Small things like these that touch the heart. He's actually a pretty good guy."

"Woah really? Wow my little friend Y/N is all grown up now!"

"Oh would you stop teasing me? I just said I might, not I would."

"Just asking for fun. If you had to choose someone to date, who would you choose? Jinyoung or me?"

"How can I possibly choose? Both of you are equally good guys."

"Come on, that's not an answer!"

"It is! Besides, it's not a serious question. You just asked for fun right?"

I'm trying to start a conversation to figure out how you feel, masking it as a joke so you wouldn't know. Yet it seems like I'll never get an answer from you.

"Ah forget that I ever asked. I don't have to know the answer anyways."

He sticks out his tongue to make a face at you, and you do the same to spite him. The bus ride is silent as you fall asleep on his shoulder, Wonpil barely moving an inch to make sure you won't wake up.

Back home, he flops down on his bed with a heavy heart, puffing up his cheeks in annoyance as his mind replays your answers to his questions.

Why can't she just give me a straight answer? Is she really going to continue to be ambiguous?

His phone buzzes with a special tone, and he flips it over immediately, knowing it was a message from you.

Thank you for sending me home today. I’ll get you some patches for your shoulder tomorrow, sorry about that ^^’’’

It’s ok, I got them at home. Rest well princess

His thumb hovers over the heart emoji, wondering if he should include it in the text.

If I do this, it’ll be very obvious right? She’s so oblivious, I got to make it obvious.

It’s ok, I got them at home. Rest well princess <3

He added in the heart emoji for good measure, placing the phone screen down on his chest as he waits for your reply. He envisions a getting a cute text back, and he has to use the back of his hand to cover his mouth, lest his giggling noises arouses suspicion from his family. He didn’t have to wait long for your text back, but his smile immediately fades when he sees your reply.

Princess? BLEH :P Rest well too Piri! See you tomorrow.

No hearts, no emojis, no nothing. Just plain text. With nothing else left to reply, he locks the phone screen and tosses it to the side of his bed.

Wah I’m really going crazy here. How do I get her to realise my feelings? I’ve left so many hints! What else more should I do?

With no answer to his questions, Wonpil is left staring at the ceiling again as he runs his hands through his hair and face in frustration, just like every other night.

---

“Yah Kim Wonpil. You need to look away. If you don’t, either your eyes will pop out of their sockets first, or both of them will go up in smoldering flames.”

“What?”

Wonpil hears Sungjin’s voice, but does not register what the older says. Rolling his eyes, Sungjin shifts left to sit right in front of Wonpil, effectively blocking his view of both you and Jinyoung.

“Hyung!”

“Why do you keep looking? Just leave them be. Staring at her isn’t going to magically make her fall in love with you. So you either go out there and do something, or else you give her up.”

Sungjin then takes a look at his beeping watch, uttering out farewell to Wonpil with his mouth full of sandwich before hurrying off to Physics Lecture.

Perhaps Sungjin has a point, maybe I should give her up?

The thought eats away at Wonpil for the rest of the day, earning him a earful from his lecturer when he was caught not paying attention. And later on in the day, another earful from Sungjin during band practise when he messes up the keys for the song transition. Even as he lies on his bed at 1am attempting to fall asleep, he finds his mind wandering back to you. Memories of you that start way back in middle school surfaces in his mind, each giving him more and more reason to like you.

Your hardworking self; never missing class clean-up duty even if that means you have to rush back from consultations with teachers.

Your kind self; volunteering your free time at animal shelters, orphanages and elderly care centres. Sometimes you even go the extra mile for them, travelling to far flung places when they are short on manpower.

Your brave self; standing up against friends and elders who do not realise that their actions are wrong.

Yet, Wonpil is also well aware that you’re not perfect.

You can be quick to anger; blowing up at people just because you were cranky that morning.

You can be blunt sometimes; not really thinking about the weight of your words before saying them.

You can be unreceptive to feedback; you might pull a black face the whole day, just because someone said something you didn’t quite agree with.

Despite your flaws, Wonpil sees redeeming qualities. Over the years, you’ve acknowledged your flaws and you’ve been slowly improving on them. Small things like apologising at the end of the day after yelling at someone, makes you more endearing to him.

I like her because, and I love her despite. How could I possibly give up on someone like that?

Yet Wonpil only sets himself up for heartbreak - for not being to let you go.

---

At the end of each day, Wonpil goes home to nurse a bruised heart. All day long, he has to watch you and Jinyoung get all chummy with one another. The smiles shared between one another, the hand holding and all that sort of stuff he doesn't even want to think about.

But the worst part comes when he's with you, and yet he doesn't have your attention.

Barely able to hide the annoyance in his voice, he asks,

“Who are you texting?”

“Jinyoung.”

Him again.