Chapter 4: Destiny

Kryptonite
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Chapter 4 Destiny

 

Running away from weakness, escaping from problems and evading the hardships and challenges are a race that no one can ever win from. However, in life, as people tend to run away from all the adversities in temporarily to find relief they need, someone will definitely come after them, necessarily chasing them in order to show and enlighten them, pointing at the right, if not the best, path that they should undertake rather than cowardly running away from something they can never win from.

 

Sometimes if not oftentimes, most believes that running away however is essential in order to search what they need and to be able to recollect them from the pressure that their life is giving them. For instance, one best example is this falling apart racer who has just started to achieve her dreams yet also starting to drift apart, her world crumbling upon her every step she takes from running away from this frightening reality she cannot gauge just yet.

 

“Lisa!” Waiting outside their apartment block is her troubled best friend who was walking around in circle until she saw Lisa weakly taking her march, her lifeless baby steps with her head down and her messed up hair covering her entire face.

 

Lisa halted midway, raising her dejected head a little and sights her best friend meeting her in apprehensions. Full of shame she couldn’t look at Chaeyoung straight to the eyes as soon tears flow and her body trembles, mumbling in her unsteady voice, “I ran away… I couldn’t do it… I got scared… I even left Jennie behind… I abandoned her… I ran away from my friends… I ran away from everything… I… I…”

 

Chaeyoung at once wraps Lisa around her arms, ceasing her from saying more, stopping her emotions to overflow as she locks her around her arms buzzing placid, “Okay… okay… that’s enough. Bobby-oppa called me just few minutes ago and they told me what happened. So please don’t cry now. We’re here for you, okay?”

 

“How about Jennie, did she say something? Is she mad at me? Is she disappointed? I’m sure she is after what I did back there. I’m such a loser.” Lisa sobbed hard.

 

Chaeyoung nodded against her shoulders saying, “Don’t worry Lisa. Jennie-unnie isn’t mad at you and she doesn’t even blame you for anything. In fact, she told me to watch over you and look out for you. She understands you on why you acted like that. She also wants to tell you that you should take it easy and rest for tonight.”

 

Hearing Jennie’s kind words despite of her harsh sudden actions, Lisa can only cry more and hold tighter on her best friend’s shoulders as guilt crawls up to her. The fear lingers her so much she cannot talk more of it as memories can only flashback, particularly Jennie’s face that’s covered with blood, completely traumatizing her and be stunned on the spot. Wordless and speechless in between her hard sobs and breathless cries, Lisa never felt so weak and vulnerable before.

 

“Don’t think about it for now. Let’s go to your room so that you can take some rest.” Chaeyoung whispered quietly as she guides Lisa going back to her own space, almost in a force as Lisa’s legs tremble and knees barely bend to walk.

 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

 

Lisa in her shaking voice and head totally lowered down the ground, she repetitively pronounces her apologies, not only to herself but to every single person that appears in her mind whom she knew she abandoned due to her coward self. While her eyes stay wide open, her vision blurs caused by her tears that never stopped from dropping down, a teardrop in every step, a piece of her heart breaking in every stride. It’s agonizing… it definitely is that even Chaeyoung who remains speechless as she walks her up to her room can feel it.

 

Later that night, letting the moon and stars witness the darkness embracing not just the whole town but also taking up people’s mood and emotions, Jennie, together with the help of Hanbin and Bobby, was driven back home, in a long ride that’s engulfed with nothing but deafening silence among them as their minds are all occupied of what happened and Lisa’s current situation.

 

Lisa’s terrorized face, her expression that shows fear, that’s all that Jennie can picture in her mind while she almost limply walks towards her empty home. The way her hands trembled as she touched her, the way her body quaked and her eyes that painted nothing but horror how can Jennie possibly pull these thoughts out of her mind and eliminate her worries? Jennie in this moment is completely occupied with distresses and worries for Lisa, all seen in her face that shows apprehension as she treads.

 

And the only way to snap Jennie out of her deep thoughts is the news from Bobby, breaking the hush as he proclaims holding his phone, “Lisa made it back home. I just received a notice from Chaeyoung…”

 

“Really?” Jennie beamed a little and subsequently a small stretch on her lips formed but no glitter in her eyes just yet.

 

Bobby then shows the message that says, “Lisa is already here. I walked her back to her place and she still seems to be really scared. She’s shaking terribly still and I can say she’s not fine at all. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind but don’t worry, I’ll take care of her for tonight and I’ll also contact Jisoo-unnie to inform her about this. Also… Lisa is worried about Jennie-unnie too. She’s also asking about her and she said she’s sorry for leaving like that and for running away. Please do tell this to Jennie-unnie too. I hope you take her back home safe.”

 

“We’re lucky she got Chaeyoung and Jisoo with her, well at least for now.” Hanbin exhaled in relief.

 

But Jennie sighs in a grimace, “She should worry about herself first before worrying about me… She’s terrified. She’s almost passing out in death yet she worries about others first. Why is she like that?”

 

“Because she’s Lalisa Manoban…” Bobby kindly simpers, patting Jennie who gave him a confused look. “…as you get to know her more, you’ll know why and you’ll come to realize it…”

 

“Have a good night rest for tonight. If not tomorrow then maybe in just few days, I’m sure everything’s going to be fine again.” Hanbin assured with a nod.

 

The following day remains a gloom for everyone. Not only that the small amount of rain added to the despair but also the mood that drained so low hitting the wet ground. The day is dark and so does the people. The weather is bad and so do the people’s emotions. The streets and the roads are almost empty same as how their feelings are starting to get filled with emptiness as they are all drowning into a situation where answers and solutions are just yet hard to find.

 

Through the drenched streets of the city, Jisoo hikes carefully towards a place where it can be as noisy as the rain drops to the ground. A place where gamers frequently hang out, a place where people habitually spend their time and make it fast, the arcade station. And to why Jisoo decided to check this place during her spare time, only she can know and only her physically mute yet mentally loud self would know.

 

“This can only be the place… and there’s no way I’ll be mistaken. She can only come here when she’s not feeling good.” Jisoo mumbled to herself as she goes further inside the arcade station with her low sighs almost unheard because of the noise surrounding her.

 

After passing through some gaming machines, Jisoo finally located her target. At the corner-most part of the gaming row, there she found her lover being a total loner as she plays by herself, gets fuming and hype at the game by herself, and can even be heard cursing so loud that people behind her would hear her growling in so much anger.

 

“Excuse me…” The arcade station owner approached Jisoo who is unmistakably staring at Lisa in pity. “Do you know that young woman over there?” He then asked in caution.

 

Jisoo nodded, “Ah yeah. By any chance, did she do something wrong?”

 

“Nothing, really… But, she’s been there for couple of hours now and she keeps throwing tantrums there and yelling at the machine. Some of our customers are even scared to get near her, causing the machines near her to be left vacated. Some are even leaving now because they are scared she might go wild.” The owner worriedly informed.

 

Jisoo courteously bowed for an apology, “I’m so sorry for the trouble she’s causing. I’ll take her out of here.”

 

Lisa can be felt irate from a distance as her eyebrows almost meet at her nose bridge and her breaths are hot and heavy then adding her tight grip on the gaming machine as well. Jisoo didn’t miss a detail of how Lisa can be possibly frustrated at the moment, thus, as she warily sat on a vacant space beside her she chose to stay quiet for few minutes until Lisa finishes one more round of her game.

 

“Done?” Jisoo asked delicately. “Even until here in the arcade, you still play racing game…” She maintained and heaved heavier sighs.

 

Yet Lisa responded in a high tone however almost in a crack, “That’s my problem! This is racing but it’s just a damn game and yet I cannot even win it!”

 

“Hey Lisa…” Jisoo gently caressed Lisa’s shaky back.

 

And finally, Lisa breaks out in tears and covers her face using both of her palms, crying severely, “Why is this even happening to me? I’m so scared. I’m so weak. My hands can’t even hold a damn steering wheel properly anymore. Why am I such a shaky coward? I hate this… I hate myself…”

 

Lisa’s rumbled mindset pictures her dreams as racer crashing and turning into a complete blur which makes her even more disoriented that Jisoo needed to wrap her around her arms already. Her tears couldn’t stop falling and the more she’s around Jisoo’s arms, the more she gets weak, unable to shake off an image of a nearly dying Jennie in front of her very own eyes.

 

“You know Lisa…” Jisoo tightly holds Lisa by the shoulders and gapes right into her swollen eyes then declares straight, “Why don’t you just stop then and find a new thing to work on? I’ve been telling you that but you never listened to me.”

 

“Huh?” Shocked of an unexpected return, Lisa’s eyes went wide.

 

“Quit racing.” Jisoo said without hesitations.

 

Lisa backed off a bit from her and again questions in shock and confusion, “Huh? What do you mean by that?”

 

“There are a lot more opportunities out there Lisa.” Jisoo tried to persuade by holding Lisa’s hands tight on her lap. “Racing isn’t the end of the line. All these incidents happen because of racing and maybe it’s already telling you to quit it and find a new path for your life. How can you even race again with your condition? You’ll just continue hurting yourself even more if you insist. Try looking for something new, like for example maybe studying, or search for other hobbies you might want to spend your time with other than racing.”

 

“Hobbies…” Lisa hardly spoke in the verge of wailing more tears and cries.

 

“Lisa, c’mon, you can—“ Jisoo wanted to go on but Lisa all of a sudden turned even more furious.

 

Lisa stands from her seat harshly and roars, “Don’t touch me!” 

 

Lisa has never been felt so attack this way. She may have gained fear in racing and she may have heard criticisms from people she holds dear to her. She may be at her rock bottom but never her passion decreased. To have her passion be belittled and taken so lightly, it feels as if she died inside and it couldn’t get any worse than how she feels over Jisoo’s unmindful words towards her dreams.

 

Lisa goes on ranting with her tears continuously falling, “Of all people, you’re the last one I expect to tell me that. Every time you attempt to tell me that I always cut you off because you’re the last person I don’t want to hear that from! You know that racing is in my blood and you know how dear it is to me. And you tell me it’s my hobby and I can easily just throw it away? I can’t believe you!”

 

“I’m just thinking what I know is best for you Lisa!” Jisoo argued with a high tone.

 

Yet Lisa makes a comeback with higher one, “Yes that’s what you think and what you know! But what about me, did you even put yourself into my place and think what I really am going through? Do you even care how I feel and how hard it is for me right now? Telling me to give up on it, is there anything worse you can tell me than that? And now you tell me that giving up on my dreams and passion is the best thing? Are you damn serious now?”

 

“Lisa, I…”

 

Jisoo was wholly stunned in her position, looking up to Lisa’s eyes covered with tears and painted with so much hurt. She’s mixed with guilt and confusion inside, hence it results her to be unable to spit out any more arguments to defend her point and failure to contend. The more she exchanges glares with Lisa, the more she gets lost in her thoughts, the more she finds herself guilty for causing Lisa worse than how she was.

 

“Excuse me but you’re disturbing the other customers already…” The place owner warned.

 

Lisa gathered her things and her bag and rampages away from Jisoo with her heavy steps then shouts back to her, “I’m going and don’t you dare to follow me!”

 

Jisoo was left ashamed in everyone in the place as mostly witnessed how the disagreement unfolded before their eyes. Traumatized like her stoned body, is her mind that’s flaming with a mixture of emotions and feelings of anger and worry that flow all over her entirety. Thinking deeper which makes her completely stunned at the spur of moment, never in her life so far she has seen Lisa triggered in such a way she was almost eaten out of her wrath.

 

Later that day, on the other hand, Jennie opens and starts her morning all by herself, alone in this expansive house which she usually spends with her precious mother. The kitchen which her mother occupies during her day-offs is now empty. The living room where she and her mother spend quality time together before going to school and work, is now having the feeling of emptiness. Lastly her mother’s room that’s always empty oftentimes yet disorganized is currently vacated together with the feeling of loneliness that overflows into Jennie’s heart.

 

“Good morning Jennie! My precious daughter! How are you? Sorry, your dumb dad forgot to call yesterday again. I had overtime at work as always. But hey, I was trying to call your mom to check on her too but it seems I cannot reach for her phone. Please tell her to check her phone even if she’s busy at work, okay? Even your useless dad is far from you, I love you. Remember that.”

 

Almost motionless in her difficult limps, Jennie received voice messages from her father through her phone which she left unattended in the completely messed living room she couldn’t even clean on her own. And with a groan she leaned against the house’s main door, blankly gazing at the deserted house, as isolated as what she feels deep inside her at this very moment.

 

“What the hell am I doing? Why am I even getting all depressed here again? I shouldn’t be thinking and feeling like this. I need to pull myself together and be a responsible daughter. This isn’t the time for me to be sulking and being emotional all by myself.” Jennie talked to herself as she slapped her both cheeks with her cold hands to shake herself up from all the negativity consuming her.

 

Soon, a knock from the door behind her startled her though it came gently and carefully then a loud ring from the doorbell came next to alert her and be back into her straight right self. For she only expects one person to fetch her for today, holding onto that promise they formed, she excitedly opened the door wide with a huge smile only to get her expectations wrecked.

 

“Lisa— you’re… oh…” Jennie’s huge grin slowly turned into a simple and friendly smile. “Chaeyoung, it’s you…” She then said acknowledging her friend’s unexpected presence.

 

Chaeyoung awkwardly giggles, “I’m sorry to disappoint you unnie but today it’s not going to be Lisa…”

 

Jennie quickly collects herself and clears the misunderstanding as she pulls and welcomes Chaeyoung inside her space, “No… I’m sorry too if I sounded harsh. I do admit I was expecting Lisa because of the promise she made not long ago but I should have known too that she can’t possibly come here anytime soon because of what happened recently at the night race.”  

 

“So unnie, what have you been up to that your living room turned out like this?” Chaeyoung asked to break the ice as she uses their casual friendly conversation while rolling her eyes all over the living room.

 

It’s only then Jennie realized it herself that the house that’s entrusted to her is in a total mess. The living room is covered with her papers from the table, to the couch until to the floor. Then looking from afar is the dining room and the kitchen filled with empty bags of chips and unwashed dishes on the sink. Adding to the mess are the dusty shelves on the corner, and the floor where the dusts are slowly forming thick to cover it. All of these welcomed Chaeyoung’s morning.

 

Jennie madly blushed at the realization. Hence, though struggling with her limps, she begins collecting papers while stuttering, “W-well… I haven’t been cleaning these days because you know… the situations and circumstances going on keep on coming… and I couldn’t move much yet because of my injuries.”

 

“Unnie, you don’t have to panic like that. I totally understand.” Chaeyoung softly laughed at how Jennie frantically tries to clean the small area in the living room. “We’re friends, right? And we’ll be helping out each other starting now. Besides, I really came here because I know you need assistance especially that you’re still healing from all those wounds you have. Of course, even I do know for myself that you can’t do everything on your own for now. I know you’re strong but please let us help this time, okay?” She added as she takes over Jennie’s work.

 

“I’m sorry for troubling you Chaeng…” Jennie frowned and there at a corner of the couch she can only watch Chaeyoung doing all the work for her, feeling useless, helpless and ashamed. “But, thank you for taking care of me this much. I’m not used to be taken care of like this so yeah… really, thank you.” Yet she said with her genuine but weak smile.

 

“It’s because you’re so used of being the one who takes care of others unnie. You always take care of me in the university, on club activities and even some of my home works I can’t figure it out. So this time it’s my turn too.” Chaeyoung hid her thrilled grin, then turning around with her flushing cheeks she acts composed from her excitement, “So unnie, what are you up to? You’re always alone at night here. I’m worried that you might be bored or something so I just want to know if something’s keeping you up.”

 

Jennie proceeds to where Chaeyoung is picking up pieces of papers that are scattered on the shelf. And from there she collected the clean and well-folded ones and let Chaeyoung handle the crumpled ones. With a confident smirk on her lips, she scans the papers on her hands one by one, the writings and notes jotted all over that Chaeyoung can only look but never measures what’s on it.

 

“I’ve been writing. You know how we often write songs and random poems in the club sometimes so I thought of writing these silly short stories related to a book I’ve read not long time ago. You know, it’s just some sort of past time to enhance my writing skills too.” Jennie belatedly answered as she sat on the couch while arranging the papers herself.

 

Chaeyoung nods remembering Jennie’s foregoing hobbies, “Oh yeah… I remember you always read this book during our break time in between club practices but I never knew what it was all about though. You seemed excited whenever you read that book.”

 

It was a short talk and the quietness between them came back again. Not knowing what to tell more, Chaeyoung can only awkwardly stroll around and do some chores for Jennie, from sweeping the floor, wiping furniture to even serving Jennie a food that’s available in her fridge that’s almost left empty. Though both are so comfortable with the silence, Chaeyoung can tell how deep Jennie’s thoughts are through her eyes that dart to a blank space of the walls, eyes that speak of worries and concerns.

 

Chaeyoung lowly clears before ending the silence with her hesitancy, “Lisa… she’s really a brave woman but sometimes, when it comes to racing and perhaps weaknesses that I don’t know of yet, she’s so fragile like the thinnest glass you’ll ever find.”

 

“Eh?” Jennie sat up straight, alerted of what Chaeyoung suddenly blurted out.

 

From across the living room’s table, Chaeyoung sits on the floor to face Jennie who became attentive upon the mention of Lisa. She settles on her position and tells more sincerely, “When Lisa first came here and transferred, she’s like a lost cat. She’s lucky she happens to live beside my place and I ended up looking after her, up until now. She adjusted very quickly then not long after, she met her friends at the performance shop and she immediately began working there and got more in love with racing.”

 

“I expected that at least, that she would easily blend in this place. I just predicted she would be that kind of person and I guess I’m right after all.” Jennie commented and formed a short soft giggle with Chaeyoung.

 

“Few months more then we met Jisoo-unnie…” Chaeyoung decided to go on as she sees Jennie gaining interest over Lisa’s life story with her nods and attentiveness. “I forced Lisa to come with me to the bookstore one time. She hates bookstores and even libraries so much but I managed to pull her with me and that’s where we met Jisoo-unnie complaining at the cashier. I don’t know but Lisa just had this ‘crush at first sight’ kind of feeling. And because Lisa is just being herself, she just went to introduce herself to Jisoo-unnie and even somehow involved me to ask for her number. From then on, Lisa never gave up on following her until she got Jisoo-unnie’s sweet yes and now they are in this relationship. She even had this fake student ID for Jisoo-unnie’s university just so that she can enter in the campus and fetch her directly but Lisa was crying not long ago because she lost the ID while she was being chased by some men she argued with on a car shop.”

 

“Wow, so that Lalisa Manoban is quite romantic, I guess…” Jennie simply remarked with a breath.

 

“Lisa may look like tough when it comes to racing but really, deep inside she’s just any other girl out there who is soft and easily gets hurt too and who puts up a strong appearance not to be effortlessly ridiculed and bullied by people she knows way sturdier than she is.” Chaeyoung ended her remarks and made her stand up her feet.

 

“It must be hard for her too that she got involved with the accident and she must be suffering like I do.” Jennie said and the memories of that night she witnessed how thin of a glass Lisa got and cracked all flashbacked to her once again and it keeps looping.  

 

Chaeyoung clapped her hands together with her sweetest smile, breaking Jennie’s deep judgments of Lisa that’s so apparent in her expression and said, “Let’s get moving unnie. We’ll go to the university today before you go to your part-time job at the performance shop and attend some physical therapy and visit your mom right? I’ll accompany you all the way.”

 

Jennie started moving with Chaeyoung’s unconditional help and placed the papers back to its place neatly and in every move she makes, Lisa crosses her mind. Her worries cannot fade away, and even worse now as she has found out more of Lisa’s past and who she is, the Lisa that hides behind that pretentious tough look she wears in front of others, the Lisa that is so feeble and so sensitive and the Lisa who pronounces herself as Superman yet filled with fears.

 

As the gloomy day goes on, the low-spirited Jisoo in the meantime makes it more miserable with her nags, her grunts and her rants as she marches in circle around their school gymnasium’s bleachers where her fellow cheer dancers and her friends standby and stretches for their afternoon practice. That wrath and fury that Lisa gave her, never she had once seen it causing her to be burdened and heavy throughout the day. Likewise, Jisoo just cannot stop thinking of Lisa but unlike Jennie, she feels upset rather than concerned.

 

Until such time Wendy had to block Jisoo’s pathway and looks into her fuming eyes matched with her furrowed eyebrows, “Let me guess, you have another problem with Lisa? It can’t possibly be about school or about your grades and even about cheer dancing since you always do well.”

 

Then Joy comes after resting an arm around Jisoo’s shoulder and hisses, “The only thing that’s not going well recently is your relationship with Lisa. What’s new here? It’s always been like that. I won’t be surprised if it’s really Lisa that upsets you.”

 

Jisoo heavily exhaled as she sat down at last with her palms rubbing her cheeks, “What else but about her obsession with racing again. I was just helping her to find the solution and what’s the best for her yet she yelled at me in front of the public. Seriously, ever since that accident, she’s starting to act like I don’t know her anymore.”

 

Wendy and Joy looked at each other in shock of what came out from Jisoo’s heated mouth. Hearing those huge puffs coming out from her nose like a bull and those teeth that clench so tight under her closed mouth, by just observing these from Jisoo, they have known at once that this time around, their argument isn’t one of those days when they only stress out and vent from each other.

 

“Aren’t you pushing Lisa too much?” Wendy tried to share her thoughts but only gained a glare from Jisoo and thus she zipped .

 

But the braver Joy frankly states for her, “Let Lisa do what she wants, rather what she needs. She’s letting you do what you want and she whole-heartedly supports you even if it’s so much against her likes. She’s not a teenager anymore for anyone to dictate what she should do. What she needs is support you know…”

 

“But…” Jisoo lowly whined.

 

“If you keep being selfish like that, Lisa might find someone else who will support her truly and you might lose her. Do you want that?” Wendy questioned.

 

This rings a bell on Jisoo and finally she was alerted and electrified at the thought of losing Lisa to someone else. Simply imagining and thinking of Lisa walking away made her jolt up from her seat and internally panics that her heartbeats are tapping faster and louder. And as her thoughts are going way too far and deep, her brain begins giving her images of Lisa and someone else’s hand she cannot picture who at the moment but certainly, the image of Lisa with someone else formed in her.

 

Realizing Jisoo has frozen and lost in her deep imaginations, Joy needed to shake her up and alarms her back to reality, “Hey! You’re over

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jhill09 #1
Chapter 7: God, I'm dying to read what's gonna happen next.
keren_hmlm #2
idk, but i really miss this, and now i'm gonna reread every jenlisa that you wrote xD
JenLisaShipper77
#3
Chapter 7: I swear to god I could hurt Jisoo in this fic if I came across her. She’s such a stuck up man. Why is she so annoying and who does she think she is? Like off.

I hope this doesn’t change things between jenlisa. And Jennie doesn’t seem the type to be with someone when she knows she has feelings for another person. LISA COME ON BREAK THINGS OFF WITH YOUR TOXIC GIRLFRIEND AND CONFESS TO JENNIE!
Querencia99
#4
Chapter 7: , why jisoo is so annoying in this! Hope Jennie choose wisely,I'm sorry Chaeng, i love you but Jennie is in love with Lisa huwaaa
JenLisaShipper77
#5
Chapter 6: Also Jisoo keeps telling Chaeng that Jennie is so lucky that someone like Chaeng is in love with her like that ain’t it ma’am. That has nothing to do with how love works. What matters is who Jennie is in love with and that isn’t Chaeng so please.

That opponent is so disgusting that I hope if Lisa encounters him
In the future she drags his and beats him up till he forgets about her and Jennie.

We can clearly see how strongly Lisa feels for Jennie cause of the jealousy she feels and the overprotectiveness. She even came over her fear to bring Jennie into safety man. And Jennie is feeling strongly towards her too. But her consciousness always gets her to think about Lisa’s non supportive gf. Oof the struggles
JenLisaShipper77
#6
Chapter 6: So where is that jenlisa love scene lmfao
Naughty_Princess
#7
Chapter 2: During this whole henlisa moment at the end i can't help but laught thinking abt chaeng's expression, she must be like (´・_・`)
Kkkkkk
CxrgnR #8
Chapter 5: OH MY GOSH. Thank you so much for the update!! <3
Psiloveme #9
Chapter 5: i literally did a double take when i saw this in my notifications
JenLisaShipper77
#10
Chapter 5: I feel a jenlisa love scene coming soon