Looking up at the blue sky makes me feel a bit relax and joy. This is what I do if I feel a bit down. I take a deep breath and be thankful for every second I still alive. Fail is not the end but it just the beginning. That’s my belief. I’d go home and it’s time to have dinner. I couldn’t miss this because Kim Seok Jin wants to share some good news with us. Kim Seok Jin is my half brother, we share the same father.

“Aunty....I’m home.” I said right after I open the door. I take my shoes off and go inside. I saw Aunt Lee Mi Kyung standing while my father and Jin sitting down. I don’t like this atmosphere. I can see how tense is my father and Aunt Mi Kyung are. Both of them just like a South and the North Pole. They never on one page as I recalled so far. I look at Jin and try to read why the air feels so heavy here. I put my bag on the dining table and stand next to Aunt Mi Kyung.

“Since you’re here, I think I should tell you now.” My father said. I never like his tone when he talking with me. Whatever coming out from his mouth is all order and he doesn’t take ‘No’ for the answer too.

“What is that?” I asked just want to cut the chase. It better this way and I don’t need to listen to him much longer.

“You will come with me to Seoul but you will stay in a different place. I already prepare everything you might need.” He said and I look at Jin once again.

“Why now?” I asked but he already stands up.

“No reason.... I must go now. I still have works to do.” He said and walk past me.

“Is talking with me will make you lost your money? You don’t see me for quite sometimes but you don’t even ask me how I was doing. Now, you telling me to move back to Seoul when you think you need me. But if you think you don’t, you will throw me back here......” I speak up makes my father tense and he looks into my eyes.

“I come here not to hear you mumbling something nonsense......”

“So only I could hear you talking nonsense.......”

“Then it’s up to you if you want to come or not but.....”

“BUT.....” I smirk and look at him in the eyes. I challenge him now. Too tired to think about his feeling now I want he know what I felt.

“Since I was born until now, you never bother to ask my opinion. You never treat me as your daughter and you only take ‘Yes’ for your answer. Am I your slave or what?” I asked and in split second I felt something burn on my cheek. He just slaps me and I just smirk at him once again.

“CEO Kim, I couldn’t feel pain anymore because of you.”

“Never be thankful.....” He said and left. I bite my lips to stop the tears from falling. I look at Aunt Mi Kyung and Jin. Both of them just keep quiet watching me turn into someone else. I never talk back to him before. All I do was ‘Yes’ and ‘Ok’.

“Kim Ji Ae, are you ok?” Aunt Mi Kyung asked but I just smile bitterly at her.

“I will take shower first and have dinner with you two.” I said and walk to my bedroom. I sit down on my bed for a while then take a warm shower. I just cry out and when I feel better, I go out and smile likes nothing happen before.

On the dining table, there are so many side dishes that I like and I smile. Jin and Aunt Mi Kyung look at me like I was out of my mind. They both don’t say anything and just watch every move I made. I wonder how was I looks like. I bet my eyes must be so puffy and my nose is red like a Rudolf the reindeer.

“Wae...?” I asked finally after I chew and swallow my food.

“Are you really ok?” Jin asked.

“There is nothing new for me and he never says a nice thing to me too. So why you look at me like that?”

“I know about CEO Kim but you...? Did something happen today?” Aunt Mi Kyung asked this time.

“I got rejected once again.” I said makes Aunt Mi Kyung look at me.

“Jinja..?? Oh poor my baby.” She said but I just shrug my shoulders.

“What was that?” Jin asked.

“Ji Ae auditions for a theatre play. It's her third try already.” Aunt Mi Kyung said.

“Jinja? I don’t know you like Play. That’s new.” Jin said and we just talk about the play. Aunt Mi Kyung goes out to throw the garbage, Jin and I wash the plates.

“So, will you come to Seoul?” Jin asked but I don’t know what to answer him. I dying to go but my pride stopped me from going.

“I don’t know.”

“You can continue your study in Theatre while you’re working to help me and Appa.”

“I will think about that....”

“I put all the information that you need on the table so you can read it. I really hope you will come and stay with us.”

“CEO Kim let me stay at a different place.”

“Yes, my place but I’m not staying there alone. My members also stayed there for temporary.”

“What?? I will stay in the house full of men?”

“They are not men but my friend.”

“Oppa....Your friend is a man.”

“Don’t see them as a man, Ji Ae-ah.” I lost my words with Jin sometimes. How could I don’t see them as a man? They are a man and they’re not a woman.

“I will think about it....” I said to end the talks with him. I wonder who he takes after. If he takes after CEO Kim, I’m sure he’s more intelligent and understand something in common sense. But I’m afraid if he takes after CEO Kim, he will be very cold and heartless human.

I sit down at the balcony and watch out the window. The breezes from the sea feel so refreshing and calm my nerve tonight. The view here is my favourite since I come here 10 years ago. For a child 10 years old that time and know nothing, this is good enough for me. Slowly I pick myself up with Aunt Mi Kyung helps too. I build my dream and live my life for myself. I don’t know who was my mother and my father never treated me as his child. I also don’t allow to calls him ‘Appa’ too. I wonder what my sin is until I get this punishment. I asked Aunt Mi Kyung before but she just keeps her lips close. She never explained to me anything and I just take this treatment without knowing anything.

“Ji Ae-ah, what are you thinking about?” Aunt Mi Kyung asked. She put 2 cups of coffee on the coffee table in front of me.

“Thinking about myself. I wonder why I was born.”

“You still think about that?”

“Yes. Will you tell me now?”

“Later...... What will you do now? Will you leave this Wando Island and go to the big city to chase your dream?”

“I wonder can I chase it before I get worse.....”

“Don’t think negative. You still have a lot of time.”

“You know my dream is not just to stand on the stage, right?”

“I know. You also want your father to acknowledge you. You will get what you dream of.”

“You think so?”

“Yes and this is the right time to do it. Just grab this chance.”

“Ok.” I said.

****

I stand in front of the big house. It has a backyard and a small garden too. Jin really likes luxury stuff, I wonder if it had swimming pools too. I ring the bell and fan myself with small paper. Today the weather feels so hot and humid. I already take off my thin cardigan and wrap it on my waist.

“Who is that?” The person answers the bell asking me from the intercom. His voice so hoarse and husky, I wonder if someone older also lived here with Jin. Is their manager also lived here?

“I’m looking for Kim Seok Jin.....” I said.

“Who are you?”

“Just tell him Kim Ji Ae is here.” I said in nonchalantly voice.

I’m really not in a good mood after stand in the hot sun for so long. The other side becomes quiet for a while then the gate open from inside. I walk in carrying my big suitcase then I saw a few flights of stairs makes me just smile annoyingly. I wonder who will welcome me later. I hope Jin is home if not I afraid I will turn into Hulk. I take a step on the stair suddenly I hear someone fake his coughing on the top of the stair. I look up and saw someone familiar but I’m never talking or greet him before. He runs down the stair in rush and smiles like a Pabo. He just likes what I saw on TV.

“You must be Jung Ho Seok.” I said to make him smile brighter.

“Yes. Jin Hyung already told us about you but the maknae a bit.....”

“Slow...?” I said to make him laugh dryly. He must be never heard someone said Jeon Jungkook is a ‘slow’ person.

“He just wakes up.....”

“Aaaahhhh........” I said in very long like something just clicks in my brain.

He helps me carry my bag and we walk in together. Once Ho Seok opens the door to the hall, I’m not surprised at all. Boys just are a boy. The pillows just anywhere, the snack wrapper on the table with potato chips spread on the floor and the empty cans beer too. I wonder if they have a celebration or party last night. Kim Nam Joon and Min Yoongi sit down at the dining table with messy hair. I think they also just wake up like Jungkook. The smells just like the boy room too nothing different. I'm a bit sensitive with the smell but I try to calm down and understand. There are 7 boys in this house.

“Can you open the window first?” I asked Ho Seok with a sigh and bitter smile. Ho Seok laughs dryly once again and runs to open the window to let the smell out. I don’t dare to look into the bathroom if this is my first impression. I think it worse in there. I take my shoes off and open the shoe cabinet but it full so I just put it on the floor. I walk a few steps but stop when I saw someone still sleeping without wearing a shirt.

“Should I come back a few minutes later?” I asked makes Nam Joon, Yoongi and Ho Seok smile awkwardly.

“No...No... No.... Just come in. I will show your room first so you could rest there while I let the kids wake up.” Yoongi said.

“Sure.” I said and follow Yoongi to my room. When he opens the door, I’m a bit surprised to see someone laying down on MY BED. I just laugh before I lost my mind. I just want to scream but I just suppress it in. That’s what I hate so much someone messes or sleeping on my bed. This is my private area and I really want someone to respect this. Yoongi looks at me like I'd just lost my mind.

“Oppa....”