“Nahyun, can you grab some bandages for Daehwi?”
“Nahyun, can you cook something for Daehwi? He’s hungry.”
“Nahyun, if you’re going upstairs anyway, can you grab Daehwi’s laundry?”
“Nahyun, can you do the dishes today? Daehwi is late for piano classes.”
“Nahyun, could you please give my letter to your brother?”

“Nahyun, can you grab Daehwi’s..-” Nahyun tried her best to stifle a groan at that name. She was leaning over her math homework, but that wasn’t any reason for mom not to distract her. Mom was in the midst of fixing Daehwi’s perfect tuxedo. It wasn’t even too big for the twerp, Nahyun thought begrudgingly.

“On the table, mom.” She vaguely waved at the tie lying not two feet from her mother. Mom sighed.

“You’re really no help at all, Nahyun!” Her voice had something venomous in it.

“Well we can’t all be Daehwi, okay?” Nahyun yelled, slamming her hands on the table. Daehwi jumped. He looked so scared that Nahyun felt bad for her outburst. Determined now, in for a penny in for a pound, Nahyun got up, somewhat roughly pressed the tie in her mother’s hands. “For your information, I have a math test tomorrow!” And with that she grabbed her books and stormed to her room, slamming the door behind her. She could hear her mother yelling after her. Then silence. Probably Daehwi calming mom.
 

Four hours later Nahyun heard them come home. She felt even more guilty now, but mom was singing Daehwi’s praises and she wanted none of that. Mom didn’t bother to call her downstairs. Maybe she was still mad. Maybe she’d forgotten about the fight. Nahyun didn’t mind either one, hurrying to turn off the light and hide under the blankets. As she pulled the sheets up, her phone screen lit up. Nahyun glanced at it.

‘Nahyun, I heard that Daehwi had a recital tonight. Did it go well? Please give him my encouragement! XX Miyoung’

Urgh. Frustrated, Nahyun turned her phone off and grabbed her books again. She hated logarithms. Finally the house went silent, but Nahyun plugged in her earphones anyway. It was easier for her to concentrate that way.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she noticed the door crack open. There was no light spilling in from the hall, so it must have been dark there too. Nahyun pulled out a plug and glanced at the face peeking into her room. Daehwi.

“Noona, are you still up?” His voice was soft. He sounded, and looked, rather uncertain of himself. Nahyun sighed and pushed her homework aside, beckoning him inside. Her younger brother stepped in quietly and after closing the door shuffled to her bed. She knew what he wanted when he stared at the blankets. When he’d been a toddler, he’d been allowed in her bed. She hadn’t disliked him as much back then.

“Can I…?” The question faded before he could even finish. Damn. Despite it all, Nahyun couldn’t stay mad with him. He was too adorable. After moving her books and phone out of the way she patted the bed. Daehwi immediately duck under the covers and, as he’d done as a kid, snuggled up on her. Nahyun couldn’t muster up the anger to glare at him and just sighed. Daehwi pretended to be asleep until she begrudgingly whispered “you are way too cute.” He looked somewhat surprised at that, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

“You think… I’m cute?” He asked sincerely.

“Well obv...- Doesn’t everyone?” Nahyun did her best to come off as uncaring.

“I didn’t think you did.” That sounded a little accusatory. Nahyun wasn’t quite sure what to make of that so chose to change the subject.

“Miyoung says she hopes your recital went well.” She bit back.

“Who is that?” Daehwi seemed genuinely confused. Nahyun mumbled ‘classmate’, after which it became quiet again in the room. Daehwi wriggled his toes under the blanket and seemed to be building up courage to say something. Nahyun had picked up her math book when he suddenly spoke.

“Noona… Don’t you want to know how I did?” His voice was rather timid. Nahyun dropped the book on her lap and looked at him, wondering if she pitied him or felt mad.

“I already know you did great.” She eventually decided diplomatically. That clearly wasn’t the right answer as Daehwi shot up, tears forming in his eyes as he balled his fists.

“Why can’t you just ask anyway?!” His voice rang a bit too loud. For a few seconds, Nahyun sat still trying to figure out if their parents had hear him. “It feels like you don’t care about me at all, noona!” Daehwi added, apparently frustrated with her lack of reaction and on the verge of crying.

“Why does that matter?! Everyone loves you Daehwi! Everyone thinks the world of you! I don’t have to!” It sounded so cold. Nahyun didn’t like it. She hated the words the moment she’d spoken them, but she couldn’t take them back now. Daehwi balled his hands into fists, his shoulders were shaking. Damn. He was crying.

“I just want you to love me. Why can’t you love me noona?” With those words he slipped out from underneath the blanket. Nahyun felt a pang in her chest and immediately shot up from her bed as well.

“Daehwi-ya…” He stopped but didn’t turn around to look at her. Nahyun swallowed and threw the blankets to her feet as she slipped out of bed. “It’s not that I don’t love you. I’m just envious. Everyone loves you. Mom only ever has eyes for you, she doesn’t even care about me. And I know that it’s not your fault but how am I supposed to compete with you when you’re the perfect son?!” Nahyun felt embarrassed and miserable saying it all out loud like that. Feeling hollow and scared that Daehwi would turn around and see the tears on her face, she crawled back onto her back.

She hadn’t expected Daehwi to throw himself onto the bed and hug her as tightly as he did. Heck, she’d expected him to leave. The kid was still crying, and Nahyun bit her lip. With a sigh she reached down and picked up the blanket to pull it over him.

“Noona, that’s not true. I’m sorry… I didn’t know you felt this way. I just wanted to be a brother you wouldn’t be ashamed of.” He sobbed quietly against her shoulder. Nahyun swallowed again and returned the hug.

“You’re not. I’ve never been ashamed of you.” Of all the things she’d been at or because of Daehwi, ashamed had never been one. Daehwi clearly wasn’t done crying and continued clutching to her for a few minutes in relative silence. Unsure of what to do with him, Nahyun brushed her fingers through his hair and tried to look at anything but him.

“I’m sorry noona.” He finally whispered.

“What… What do you even have to be sorry for?” Nahyun asked uneasily. She wanted to cry, too. But not in front of him. Especially when he was already so vulnerable. Daehwi sat up and shrugged, rubbing at his cheeks.

“Making your life m-miserable..” He sounded like he was going to cry again, so Nahyun pulled him back into the hug, rubbing his back. Muffled, he continued. “I remember when I was six, you didn’t want me playing with you and your friends. You said that I was embarrassing. I only wanted you to love me, so I worked hard…” Ow. Nahyun wished she didn’t remember saying that about him. Of course, it hadn’t been true. He hadn’t been an embarrassment. Rather, Daehwi had been such a cute child that all her friends immediately cooed over him and lathered him with praises. Maybe that’s where it had all begun.

Daehwi was pouting at her now. Nahyun wondered if he knew that was how he got all the girls. Those puffed, cute cheeks could melt any heart. Even hers, though she wasn’t going to admit that. He was still her kid brother after all. Siblings are supposed to hate each other. Even if he did nothing to deserve it..

“It worked on everyone, so you were successful.” She commented dryly.

“I didn’t want it to work on everyone! I don’t care about Miyoung or whatever her name is.” He huffed. Nahyun laughed at that.

“Her name is Miyoung, Daehwi.” Maybe that was the one thing Daehwi couldn’t do. Mess things up.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m too young to be dating anyway… I know you hid those confession letters from me. Thank you for that…” He smiled somewhat sheepishly. This kid… Nahyun frowned at him, wondering what to do with him.

“You’re really too cute for your own good. Do you want to listen to some music before going to bed?” She offered. “just a warning... You are going to hate it.”