Text 10/12/16: “Yoongi, have you eaten?”

Text 10/12/16: “Sweet dreams Jigaya”

Text 10/13/16: “Busy? Don’t forget to eat this time.”

Text 10/14/16: “Why do I look to the sky, and wonder if you’re staring at the same star? I miss you… Min Yoongi.”

Text 10/16/16: “So much distance between us… It would be nice to get some kind of sign that you are still alive…”

Text 10/21/16: “You could have at least told me we were over. I honestly felt as though I meant more to you… I’m an idiot..”

Text 10/24/16: “I love you...I miss you… but for my own sanity… I must let you go… Min Yoongi, eat well and be happy. I’ll be fine… if you even care.”

His eyes fell to a close as the light from the screen faded into nothing but darkness that swallowed the entire room, just as it was easily consuming his heart. He could feel her pain within the messages, could imagine her crying on the vibrant red sofa that decorated her living room. He could see her health fading due to a lack of an appetite, but he hadn’t a choice but to endure the hardships and pretend that he didn’t care.

The girl who understood him better than he understood himself was probably alone in her bedroom, cuddling to the large white feathery pillows along her King sized bed. However, the very reason why he had fallen in love with her, was the same very reason why he had to run away. She scared him, for he had never felt so strongly about anyone, and that thought alone was enough to make his demons of the past to awaken and come out to play. It wasn’t a safe environment for either of them, and so he had to make a choice that would set them both free.

She had only been gone for a total of two weeks and already did he feel his phobias and self consciousness come into play. He could feel himself getting jealous over the thought of any man who saw his girl, could feel his anger running forth every time another member would receive a message from her. He knew well that he was being selfish in his anger, however such things couldn’t be controlled, which was the actual reason as to why he was ignoring her in the first place.

It was a simple message, as simple as asking a question to Jungkook, and yet he found himself snapping into his own world of self loathing. It only took three days to realize that he was at fault for the fight that he had left her in the dark about, and that’s when he made the painful decision. In order to provide her happiness and comfort, he would have to leave her side and allow her to shine brightly just like the woman she was meant to be. Seen, and shared to the world around her.

~*~*~*~*~ One Year Later ~*~*~*~*~

“Aren’t you nervous? Any of the groomsmen could be a bangtang boy member” she could hear the fleeting whispers, but her eyes would stay locked upon the bride who smiled so brightly into the mirror.

“I’m so jealous that she’s marrying Jeon Jungkook” another fleeting whisper bellowed in her ear, yet her eyes never left the smile the bride had carried, knowing that soon she would be giving the last of her family to a man worthy of her hand.

It all felt like an eternity even though it was merely a year ago when he had vanished from her life, just as her parents did when she was young and forced her to grow responsible in order to provide for her younger sister. When her parents passed, she felt as though the world was going to fall upon her and crush her under it’s weight… That was until he had appeared and offered to shoulder some of the weight that was along her sore and broken back.

He had carried half of the weight, making the burdens bearable and stable for a human to live, but just as quickly as that help was lended, it vanished making the weight ten times stronger. It crushed her more and more until it completely deflated her of oxygen and life. The uncertainty always prying at her confidence, the insecurities eating her flesh and taking her youth. She only held one responsibility that kept some of the weight afloat, and now she was giving it to someone else, leaving the weight to completely demolish her.

“Uni, you’ll be walking down the aisle with the best man Min Yoongi” yet the words didn’t register as blank eyes left the smile to nod happily, her lips curving into the perfected fake smile she had worn for the previous year.

Min Yoongi… The man who had saved her in her time of need, now nothing more than a mystery within her life. Suga. Who was that? That name didn’t comply with her memories. Agust D you said? Sorry don’t know him, never met him. Min Yoongi however was a name she was rather fond of, a name she could talk about for hours, yet could never tell you the ending of her stories… They didn’t exist in this world.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Min Yoongi” he heard the name before somewhere in his past as blank eyes stared across the lawn, greeted by a bunch of waving females who seemed eager to steal his attention.

He no longer carried that name, not after that night that he decided to throw away his emotions in order to subside his selfish greed. He never forgot her, in fact the very hand she laid across his cheek that night still burnt with a fire that could never be tamed, his lips still tingled after her lips left his cold. He could almost see her in the crowd too, yet the woman he remembered was lively and passionate nothing like the woman standing before him today.

“You’ll be walking down the aisle with my soon to be sister in law.” Jungkook’s voice reasoned for his attention, his heart aching further with the thought of walking her down the aisle.

Yet his attention couldn’t be held for long as his vacant expression wandered back to the female who looked so much like the woman who haunted his dreams. She held the same beautiful shiny hair, even the same pink hued lips, yet this empty girl couldn’t be the same woman he loved for so long. Forcing himself to look away from her, he would instead focus his attention on the proper guest, the groom of the show.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She always pondered what it would be like to have him walk her down the aisle, and as her arm laced within his she would feel dismayed at the nothingness that surrounded her. Perhaps she was far to gone in her numbness to be able to feel the warmth any longer, or perhaps she had been awake for too long to remember how to dream? She couldn’t decipher that difference, however as her eyes peeked a glance at her once savior, her memory drew blank and his face nothing more than a blur even right before her.

So he hadn’t suddenly vanished, he had been under the same sky the entire time, looking at the same stars, yet they couldn’t see the same sight. He was to far away from her, the distance so large that even his details were nothing more than a blur, even though their arms linked with one another. This distance had always been there she realized, only she was to blind in the sudden freedom of her weight, that she didn’t bother to step back and come to grips with it.

‘Min Yoongi… I miss you’ the thought crept alive despite the logical facts that screamed within her mind. ‘I miss you so much…’ Her eyes focused back on the aisle as she eagerly awaited her sister and the groom, a genuine smile taking her lips upon their entry. For once, she felt freedom once again, the weight completely off of her shoulders as her last responsibility walked happily with the man who stole and captured her wild heart.

~*~*~*~*~

If he didn’t know that the name was the same and that this was truly the woman he once adored, he would have never believed it. His eyes could never leave her, and as a smile suddenly took her lips, he could faintly remember the woman she once used to be. He was the reason for such a good girl to end up like this, and perhaps he was wrong in allowing her to leave his life and stealing what happiness he once provided.

Yet he was selfish, for when he looked at her, he could remember Min Yoongi, the man who held many fears including the fear of comfort and because of that, he couldn’t stand her. Yet as he looked at her now, he could see his own reflection, forced to change due to hardships and what was needed from him. He had created a monster out of something beautiful, which came to prove further that Min Yoongi just shouldn’t exist in this world any longer.

His attention fell back to the marriage at hand as the vows were being stated, his mind falling into a place of non existence. He pondered slightly if they would have been married by now, if this could have been them, his eyes opening to give her one last glance. If only he had known what struggles she had to endure alone, how much she simply enjoyed his company and how much she could have saved him, he would have tried once more to love her properly… But he had no way of knowing, and by the time he found out.. she’d be gone from this life.

~*~*~*~*~

‘It’s finally over’ her thoughts brimmed with the thought as she took in a soft breath, accepting that her pain would soon be gone. ‘I endured it well mom, please don’t be angry with me when I come to see you’ a tear would slip past her as her eyes fell swiftly to the man who she thought she understood so well. ‘Thank you, for being there for me while you were’ she sent her silent thanks before leaving the ceremony and walking the darkening path that seemed to be her only option now.

‘Thank you Min Yoongi… for allowing me to experience love in this life…’