The apartment seemed the same since the last time he had entered it, his eyes quickly going towards the living room that was once lined with pictures of a happy couple, replaced by pictures of nature. It was obvious that his presence was completely depleted of life within her home, and he wouldn’t dare challenge her decisions. He knew it the day that she forced him to leave, that nothing between them would ever be the same, and the fact that she didn’t even look in his direction, showed she lost interest in seeing him at home.

“Thanks for letting me grab some things” he spoke softly and was answered only with a silent nod before she would turn towards the kitchen, clearly not interested in what he had to say. “How have you been these days?” He asked, becoming relentless as he followed her into the kitchen where several of his favorite memories took place.

“I’ve been fine Namjoon” she spoke softly as she sipped at the steaming coffee she must have just made “please just grab your stuff and leave.”

“Remember our first kiss?” He couldn’t help but to ask as his eyes landed on the counter, the memory playing fresh in his head as though a painful reminded of what he had loss.

She was making lamb skewers for them to share, anticipating the movie night that they had planned out as just friends. He remember vividly how nervous he was because he wanted to be more than friends, and he planned on making that statement visible tonight. It was when she turned around to allow him to taste her cooking did he find the courage to capture her lips, and much to his delightment, she never did stop kissing him as lovingly as she had that day. He missed that comfort.

“Namjoon…” her voice was becoming harsh as she stared at him with cold eyes “I remember everything. I remember you promised you’d always find time for me, I remember you promised that you’d stay loyal. I remember the day you purposed to me, and then the day you didn’t notice that I wasn’t wearing my engagement ring anymore. I stopped wearing it completely that day. I put it in your suitcase.”
Had he really been so distracted from her that he didn’t even notice the ring that he spent thousands on no longer rested on her finger? Had he really grown so distant from her, that he couldn’t see the girl that once held life and happiness in her eyes, become so void of it, that she resulted in spending hours alone at a bar, her only comfort being the food she barely touched and the glass of water. He’d never admit it, but he asked to see camera footage after she had kicked him out, and was stunned to see a mess sitting at the bar, dead to the world around her, night after night.

The entire time, he assumed she was out betraying him, only to find out that she simply didn’t wish to spend time with him any longer. It was when reality hit, that she probably wasn’t going to invite him back into her life, and that their relationship had been over since the first night he gave himself to another. He didn’t mean to do it at first, the guilt was overwhelming and he spent that entire night alone in bed, staring at the ceiling in pure disgust with himself. He planned on how he was going to tell you, assuming you would be suspicious… but you weren’t, and you never asked so he never spoke.

That allowed him to become arrogant, seeing just how long he could get away with it, and your lack of questioning only turned it into a game. Of course he should have known that you knew, when he came home one day and you didn’t even bother to welcome him, you stayed on the couch and didn’t even acknowledge him. Two days after that, his guilt had finally caught up to him, and he cut ties with the nameless woman and instead desired to have your attention back.

He unknowingly mistaken her trust in him for stupidity and vulnerabilities, and willingly threw it away as though it meant nothing. Now? Today? He would do anything to see her smile at him, to hold him in her embrace and whisper her sweet nothings if only to make his night just a bit less stressful. He missed desperately having his best friend who wasn’t judging, listen to him and his stories, even though she was exhausted and just got off work herself and probably had just as rough of a day, it was enough to simply listen to him to make her smile.

“Are you finished?” Her voice broke through his thoughts as his eyes roamed to meet her own, hoping to see those beautiful eyes that always made him feel like a star, on and off stage, but the eyes that looked at him now made him feel like trash and were harsher than any words.

“I’m sorry…” He spoke the words she was probably desperate to hear, but they were too late and she was already gone.

“You should be” she whispered before grabbing her car keys and heading out of the house, leaving him alone in the place he once called his own home, no longer to be known as that. Now? It was the home in which he had thrown away the only girl he would probably love, the happiness that kept him straight, and the warmth that never allowed him to be cold. He was an idiot to take her love for granted, and now he was stuck without it.

~*~*~ 2 Years Later ~*~*~

He never did get over her, in fact to this day he had yet to even look at another woman, let alone touch one. He was told to move on, yet every time he found himself smiling at the words of another female, something she said would always remind himself of the love he single handedly threw away. Needless to say, he was a mess at first, slipping up on little things and his attention being little to none towards his career, but eventually he found his balance and learned to cope… Kind of.

Work had been his number one distraction and soon he found himself with enough songs that the band could have went on for months without having to write a new one. The lyrics weren’t about falling in love anymore, but the concept of love completely, and how to respect love for what it is, and to not take it for granted. Of course the crowd would never begin to prosper what had motivated such powerful lyrics, for she never told on him, never went to the press to end his career. She loved him enough to not harm his life, but not enough to stay in it which in his opinion, was even more devastating because now his career meant nothing next to her.

“Noona is getting married” he heard Jungkook speak from the living quarters, the sound of the television almost blocking the shock expression from the young member’s voice.

“Wah, she looks beautiful” Hoseok spoke without much thought, and soon Namjoon found himself standing within the doorway, his eyes falling towards the screen, wondering what caused the commotion.

His heart broke impossibly further when seeing her smile and the life within her eyes, that sparkle in which he once adored and found comfort in. Those eyes now looked at another man, her hands entangled within his own as his eyes mocked the gleam, staring at what once was his. It explained why she had been ignoring his phone calls all these years, why she never bothered to ask him any questions. It was because she had moved on that night, and she truly did never look back to see the broken man she left behind.

Of course he never could blame her, he had made that light vanish and had crushed the strong heart several times, enough so that he selfishly hoped that she would come back to him and allow them to work things out. Now it was clear that she truly meant her words, and that he was no longer welcomed in his life, the ring that wasn’t his, being a never ending commitment that proved her words further. He was breaking, his knees gave out from under him, and he could hear the panic in the other members voices as they ran to him concerned, the television being silenced.

“I’m sorry” his tears were unavoidable as he buried his face within his hands, not only ashamed for his wrong doings, but for allowing someone so precious to leave his life without much of a fight. “I’m so so sorry” he didn’t know who he was apologizing to anymore, he just knew the words couldn’t be said enough, they could never bring justice to the heart he shattered without remorse.

That’s when her words echoed back to him, proving that his apologies would never be enough to take back the months of betrayal he portrayed.

“You should be.”