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(( Bruno Mars: When I was your Man Lyrics ))

“Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now”

Seokjin couldn’t seem to settle down on the large bed, his body twisting and turning in hopes to provide the comfort he once felt on the bed. He was cold, but no amount of blankets or covers would provide him the heat he was in need of. He knew well what was missing from his life, and he could almost hear her soothing him to sleep, easing his troubles as she sang him their favorite song, her hands running through his hair.

“Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same”

He began to hate that song after months of listening to it, for it never did bring the joy the lyrics once held in his heart. He pondered if somehow the song had changed, but he knew better than to make excuses, to deny his emotions. Hitting the mute button on the radio, a soft sigh would leave his lips as he stared at the phone, dialing in the number he knew by heart, but just as quickly erasing it.

“When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down”

“Noona was here earlier” Taehyung seemed pleased as he scattered the home made pastries along the kitchen counter, the same counter that he had watched her break at and didn’t try to piece her back together.

“You should have seen her, she looks so different now” Jimin commented as he bit into one of the sweets, and Jin felt envious of the younger members, for they were able to see the woman who haunted his dreams, haunted his every thought.

“You okay Hyung?” Taehyung was the one to ask as he offered a doughnut, yet it only darkened his mood as he looked away and went towards the bedroom, the one that barely contained her scent anymore, the one where he had promised to love her forever.

“Cuz my heart breaks a little when I hear your name”

Her name was everywhere he looked, not literally of course, but more that she lived in every single thing that he loved to do. She was a part of the new music he listened to, apart of the new dances he was forced to learn, apart of the pastries that the other members ate. She was literally in everything that he loved, which was part of the reason why he had loved her so much in the first place.

“I should have brought you flowers”

He regretted that he didn’t realize his own feelings earlier, and that he didn’t beg her to stay when she told him she was leaving. He regretted ever allowing a tear to slip from her beautiful eyes, and not being the supportive arms she needed to lean on. He should have held onto her instead, should have fought hard to stay beside her, but instead he allowed her to leave without even a verbal protest.

“And held your hand”

Now he would give anything to be able to hold her hand once more, to see her smile brightly at him as he made a corny joke. He would give anything to simply hear her voice praise him despite how horrible he may have done, or to hear her laughter fill the air around him.

“Should have gave you all my hours, when I had the chance”

He regretted not spending his time with her when he had a day off, for now he spent his time off the same way he did before, yet the pleasure was no longer there. He found no comfort within the walls of the dorm, instead he felt tortured by them, listening to the members talk about how much fun they had out with Noona.

“My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways”

He selfishly wanted their friendship to end, yet was too kind hearted to ask anyone for that, knowing it was only his fault why he was no longer included. It was only his fault, so why should he punish her any further than what he already had.

“Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life”

In a sense, he expected her to come back to him, to apologize for saying such harsh things, but another part of him knew that she wouldn’t. She was strong, strong enough to actually let go when she felt the need too, instead of holding on to something that would fade eventually. He envied her ability to move on, for he was stuck in the past, stuck with regret.

“All though it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that, I was wrong”

His vision was getting worse, for not only did her name appear everywhere, but he soon found himself mistaking others for her as well. Anytime his eyes would fall upon beautiful wavy hair, he would hope that it was her, just so that he could see her one last time. He missed her, missed her enough that he went to search for her, knocking on her apartment door at odd hours, spacing them out evenly so that he wouldn’t miss when she was home.

“Oh I know I’m probably much too late”

He was becoming desperate now as he stopped at her work if only to watch her walk through the parking lot, finally being able to see her even from at a distance. He became selfish as he asked to tagged along with the other members when they went to hang out with her, only to be rejected and scolded for being selfish. He was becoming a mess as he yearned to speak to her, yet his legs could never carry him towards her, his fear conquering his selfish yearnings.

“To try and apologize for my mistakes”

He would have begged, he would have done anything she would have asked if only to see her smile one last time. To smell the sweet scent that flowed from her hair, or to taste the sweet lipgloss that covered her lips.

“But I just want you to know”

Yet he somehow knew that he was too late, for when he finally mustered up the courage to face her and knock on her apartment door one last time, his eyes would fall upon a man who answered. He looked much manlier than himself as he eyed Jin suspiciously, yet Jin couldn’t even find his words as his heart shattered within his frame. He felt like he was suffocating, like he had swallowed a pill that was much too large and only silence spewed from parted lips.

“I hope he buys you flowers”

It was a good thing that she moved on for he knew now that his pain was his alone to feel, and she wasn’t suffering the way that he hand been.

“I hope he holds your hand”

He could only hope that this man treated his world with care and love, giving her everything that he failed to give. He could only hope that this man could provide her the sweetest smiles and kindest words, the same way she once did for him.

“Give you all his hours, while he has the chance”

He could only pray that he didn’t make the same mistakes with her that he did, giving her every second that he had to spare. He could only pray that she would be taken care of, him provided every detail that Jin couldn’t hope to comprehend.

“Do all the things I should’ve done, when I was your man.”

“Jin Oppa?” Her voice caused him to find his voice as he whirled around, finally gaining an image of the woman he could only dream of, her feature concerned and confused but she never did look as beautiful as she did right then and there.

“Hey” he failed to speak his thoughts, a mere whisper leaving his lips as he gathered his emotions, trying to decipher them as they came. “I miss you” he didn’t mean to say the words, yet his heart must have spoken, and they said the wrong words for soon tears were lining her confused eyes and he regretted even mentioning it.

“I missed you too” she spoke softly, a whisper yet it screamed in his ears, all his faults and insecurities clawing him alive. “What are you doing here?” She managed to find her logic before him and he couldn’t begin to express his reasonings, not while knowing another man was in her life.

Yet she didn’t seem to need words as she walked closer and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight embrace in which he quickly answered with a strong embrace of his own. He had never pictured being able to hold her again, and yet there she was, in his arms where she should have been the entire time.

“Please take me back” he begged of her, his tears flowing on their own as he nuzzled his nose into her neck, breathing in her scent that he had missed, almost forgetting how sweet it smelled.

“I never left you” she whispered, as she buried her nose in his hair, and he could tell that she had missed him just as much, if not more for soon her tears would be felt on his cheek. “I will forever love you despite our obstacles..”

“Because I simply love you more, and nothing will change that” he finished the statement for her, and wasn’t surprised when her grip tightened around him, securing him in her life once more, showing that he never truly left her heart.

“My brother is staring” she whispered softly which caused his eyes to widen as he quickly turned to face the man in the doorway, alarmed when a smile was presented as he shook his head and walked away from the scene.

“Don’t hurt her again” he expressed before closing the door and allowing them the privacy they needed to catch up on the things they missed.

(( Bruno Mars: When I was your Man ))