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Chapter 12: Never Ever

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After the glow of Hwasa’s last message faded from my screen, I decided to distract myself from my growing curiosity in the best way I knew how, food, but once I got to the kitchen I realized for the first time how dire my new position in this household was.

When BamBam said he didn’t know if anyone had been doing chores since Eric left, he wasn’t kidding.

The large kitchen sink was stacked high with smelly, unclean dishes, and, upon opening the dishwasher, I found even more, unwashed.

Well, I’ve got to earn my right to stay here somehow, and I guess this is as good of a place as any to start.

It took a little over an hour to return the entire kitchen/lounge area to a state of semi-cleanliness, and once that was accomplished, I started to cook with what little food I managed to find, which was mostly organic produce and rice.

I can tell Jackson does the shopping.

Almost as instantly as I thought it, the front door to the Air Castle fluttered open, and Jackson waded in, hanging up his jacket by the entrance and continuing down the hallway to the kitchen.

“Something smells amazing.”

“Organic,” I commented with a wry smile.

His expression lit up, “Oh, really? That’s even better!” He plopped down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter and slung his lightweight backpack over the chair beside him.

“Yeah, but I think this pretty much does it for the groceries here. There wasn’t much of anything left when I started.”

Jackson nodded understandingly, “Well, Eric used to do the shopping for all of us, but since he left it’s kind of been every man for himself around here.”

“Don’t worry!” I eagerly shot back, “Picking up groceries for you guys is the least I can do for you letting me stay here and for all the stuff JB and BamBam are buying to decorate my new room with. Who knows how much they’re spending on me? It’s kind of crazy.”

“So you said yes?”

I nodded, “They’re up there right now.”

“That’s great,” Jackson beamed, “I was hoping you would say yes when they told me about the idea. I’m so excited for you, but… why don’t you look that excited?”

“Oh, I am, really. I guess I’m just a little tired.”

Jackson looked at me suspiciously. Honestly, the anxiety of having to sleep in the studio with the likelihood of Jinyoung having an all night practice session was beginning to prey on my fragile state of mind. Cooking and cleaning had been a good distraction for a while, but I knew that eventually I would have to face it.

Whether he was suspicious or not, Jackson decided to drop it and carried on our conversation by changing the subject, “Well, I know for a fact that Mark has late night sound tech classes tonight and Jinyoung’s schedule is always unpredictable, but Youngjae and Yugyeom should be home soon. Is there enough for everyone?” He motioned to the simmering meal behind me.

“I think so,” I turned and grabbed six, freshly-washed plates from a shelf directly above my head. “Hopefully, it’ll be done soon.”

I walked over and sat down in the stool next to Jackson’s book bag, setting a timer on my phone for the food and laying it down on the counter in front of me.

“I remember when I first moved into the Air Castle,” Jackson recalled, as I adjusted my position on the seat, ready to hear his story, “I was a freshman, and Mark and Eric, who I found out were my floormates, were sophomores. I’ve never really had a problem with being shy, so when they offered to help me fix up my room, I, of course, agreed even though I barely knew them at all. That’s when I found out how completely different Mark is from anyone I’ve ever met before and especially from me. He was so shy about everything. Whereas, Eric would just move things to wherever he thought they’d look nicest, Mark would always say, ‘Jackson, do you think it would be okay if I put this here.’ I thought he was so smart, and every idea he had about my room was something that fit my aesthetic perfectly but that I could’ve never thought of on my own. I thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever met, and, honestly, for the first time I actually became shy around someone. I was worried he wouldn’t like me back or even like guys at all, and I didn’t know how to go about telling him my feelings, especially since we live in the same building, and it would’ve make things really awkward if he rejected me.”

I leaned in, listening closely to Jackson’s story. It relaxed me to hear him talk about Mark, and I could tell from just listening that he really loved him.

“One day, when my room was almost completely done, Mark came in to help me with some finishing touches. We were going to paint the inside of my door blue, and we were using a small ladder to do it. I went down the hall to use the restroom for a minute or so when I heard this large crashing noise, and I ran back to my room because I thought he might’ve fallen. I didn’t even have time to pull up my pants or anything. I just ran there in my underwear,” he laughed, remembering it, “When I got there I realized it wasn’t Mark who had fallen down, it was the door. To this day I still don’t know why. Maybe some screws were loose or something, but as I stood there in my underwear staring past the knocked-down door at a clearly shocked Mark Tuan, splattered from head to toe in bright blue paint, I just said, ‘Well, if you wanted to make it easier to see me more often, you could’ve just asked me out on a date.”

I burst into laughter at Jackson’s matter-of-fact tone, “Seriously, and you guys have been going out ever since?”

“Well, not exactly,” Jackson smiled, “It took me a little while longer to get that shy boy to actually go out with me, but once he realized I was only half-joking in what I said that day, he actually asked me out himself.”

“How’d he do it?”

“Well, one day I came back from class, and I had a new door, and the white board hanging on the front of it said in blue ink-

Jackson, I’m really sorry about the door, but I do want to see you more often. - Mark

-and that pretty much did the trick.”

I buried my face in my hands to suppress my laughter.

“That’s amazing, Jackson! You should write a book based on it! It’s adorable!”

Jackson smiled and blushed in an adorable, puppy-like manner, “Well, I reserve that memory for particular occasions.”

“And what occasion is that?”

“When I see people who clearly need cheering up.”

Even though I knew he could see through my façade to how anxious I truly was, he didn’t push me into telling him why. Instead, he just did his best to make me feel better without needing to know the reason, and I appreciated it deeply. I was about to argue with him that I was really fine when the front door creaked open once again and the timer on my phone started buzzing like a tiny earthquake.

By the time Yugyeom and Youngjae made it to the kitchen, I had fixed up four servings of the dinner I’d prepared and laid them out on the kitchen table.

“Wow,” Youngjae looked around in shock upon entering the room, “Did I go into the wrong house or something?”

“No, man,” Yugyeom whined, “Alice probably just cleaned, right?”

“Wow,” Youngjae repeated, “Is this for us?”