It was a sunny early morning when Hakyeon left his house. The sun shone, the birds sang and there was a little breeze. People would always get happy and cheerful because of this kind of weather. However, it didn’t had that effect on Hakyeon. It used to, but after the breakup he lived his life in automatic pilot. He couldn’t blame anyone else but himself. After all, he destroyed the whole relationship.

He typed in the door code of the dance study, where he spent most of his time. He always danced for fun, it was a way to relieve stress and prepare for the dance competitions he was participating in. Now it’s a way to punish himself as well. He would always train with two or three breaks sometimes even less than that. He knows it’s unhealthy, but doing so made him feel a little better.

Hakyeon dropped his bag next to the door and the light. He walked to the middle of the room and began to stretch his musicals. When he was done stretching, he took his phone and plugged it into the speakers that were in the room. He looked up the right song and pressed play.

Dancing with tears in my eyes by Kesha began to play. Hakyeon let his body flow with the music. He has been thinking of a choreography for weeks and still he would change his moves when he wasn't satisfied with it.

He still had a week left until the dance competition he participated in. He was planning on Dancing to his boyfriend's favorite song but after the breakup he changed the song and had to start all over. He choosed this songs since he could relate to it quite a lot. It was only a few months ago when they broke up but still Hakyeon had a hard time with moving on.

As he was dancing he saw everything like a movie in his head, from the moment he met his now ex-boyfriend Sanghyuk till the moment the broke up.

--

It was a year ago when Hakyeon met Sanghyuk. It was at Sanghyuk’s school, where they organized the yearly dance competition, everyone from nearby and far away was allowed to enter. Hakyeon found out pretty fast about this competition and filled in his entree form. He trained every day and before he knew it, it was the day of the competition.

When Hakyeon arrived he was leaded to the dressing room. There he got dressed into his stage outfit, which considered of a white dress shirt, a black suede jacket and black pants, before he walked back stage. He met Sanghyuk there. He was like a manager, telling everyone what to do and despite how young he looks, everyone listened to him well.

“Hello, my name is Sanghyuk. May I know your name and contestant number?” Sanghyuk asked
“Cha Hakyeon, my contestant number is 25” Hakyeon answered.
“Nice to meet you, Hakyeon-ssi. If you would wait over there at the lounge room, that would be nice. You’re standing a bit in the way here.”
“Oh… Sorry. I will be going then. Bye.”

With that Hakyeon left to the lounge room where the other contestants were waiting. Hakyeon couldn’t help but think about the boy he just met, Sanghyuk’s professionalism was something that attracted Hakyeon towards him. He has always liked men who did their job with passion.

After a while Sanghyuk walked into the lounge room to get the first three dancers. The first contestant was really nervous; terror could be seen written all over her face when Sanghyuk told them to follow him. Hakyeon knew the feeling that girl has, being the first is always so nerve wrecking. Sanghyuk noticed the girl’s behavior and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want some water to calm down?” Sanghyuk asked
“Yes please.” The girl spoke softly, Sanghyuk quickly filled a plastic cup with water from the water cooler and gave it to the girl
“You don’t have to worry so much. Believe me everything will be fine. You’re going to blow the audience away with your fantastic dance moves. I know for sure you will be able to do that.” Sanghyuk said, the girl smiled and was obviously less nervous after Sanghyuk’s pep talk. “Well let's go then.”

With that Sanghyuk left with the first three contestants. When the first three finished brought them back to the lounge room and took the next three with him. It continued to go like that until it was Hakyeon’s turn. He was the last one.

People always want to be last, but Hakyeon rather be first. Because when you're the one to start then you wouldn’t get nervous and insecure about your own dance. All those 74 dancers before him danced so gracefully and were really good.

“Cha Hakyeon, It’s almost your turn.” Sanghyuk said when he called out from the entrance of the lounge room
“Oh.. okay… I’m coming.” Hakyeon said and stood up from the couch he has been sitting on the whole time

The two walked backstage to the entrance of the stage. A bit after their arrival number 74 walked in backstage since he just finished his performance.

“Are you okay?” Sanghyuk asked “You look a bit pale.”
“It’s fine, I’m just nervous I guess. There were such good dancers today.” Hakyeon said as he kept staring at the stage from backstage
“You will be fine. Most important is that you dance with passion and love.”
“You’re right. Thank you.”

Hakyeon smiled at Sanghyuk as he heard the MC’s call him out to get on stage. Sanghyuk smiled back and made a fist from his hand as a cheerful “Fighting” left his mouth.

Hakyeon walked on stage and took his position, before giving a sign that the song could begin. Love Potion by Justin Timberlake began to play and Hakyeon let his body flow to the music. He body moved so naturally and his y hip movements caused the girls in the audience to scream a lot.

Before Hakyeon knew it, the song came to an end and he was backstage again.

“You looked amazing out there!” Sanghyuk complemented Hakyeon enthusiast, something he hasn’t done to the contestant who finished before him.
“Thank you.” Hakyeon said and smiled at the younger

Sanghyuk then brought Hakyeon back to the lounge room, before he left to do some other things backstage. All they had left to do was waiting for the results.

Ten minutes later Sanghyuk came back to get all the contestants on the stage. Even though Hakyeon had entered a lot of dancing competitions, the results was still nerve wracking.

“Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you all for your patience!” the female MC, who had introduced herself at the beginning as Amber said
“I hope you all enjoyed the amazing performances of tonight. Everyone was amazing but only one can win this award.” The male MC, who had introduced himself as Eric said as he showed the award he was holding in his hands
“The judges have made their mind up and the results are in this envelope.” Amber said and held up a golden envelope
“What are we waiting for? Let’s open the Envelope!” Eric said

Amber opened the envelope and pulled out a paper. The MC duo waited for a moment as they looked at the name of the winner that was written on the paper.

“The Winner of Seoul Entertainment Academy Dance Competition 2015 is…” Amber began hoping Eric would finish her line.
“Well don’t be like this and just tell who won. You’re literally killing them with nerves by doing this.” Eric told the other and laughed
“I had hoped you would finish my line like MC duo’s does on TV.” Amber said and let out a sigh. The audience had to laugh. “The winner of 2015 is… Kim Jongin! Congratulations!”

The audience began to applause and some even screamed out of happiness. Jongin walked forward to the MC’s and took the award that was given by Eric.

“Is there something you would like to say?” Amber asked
“Yes please.” Jongin said. Amber gave him the microphone. “I want to thank everyone who came to watch this competition. It’s really nice to see that so many people are interested to see those kind of competitions. So thank you for that. I also want to thank my fellow contestants. You all were some tough competition and you all are great dancers. I really enjoyed the competition and I hope you enjoyed it too. And final I want to thank my friend Kyungsoo, Thank you for believing in me while my parents didn’t approve my choice of life. Without you I wouldn’t have stand here.”

Jongin then gave the microphone back to amber. The MC’s duo then did their final words. Thanking the audience for their time and wishing them a good evening.

A few minutes later all dancers were backstage enjoying some pizza and champagne. Everyone congratulate Jongin and have a small talk. Everyone was enjoying each other’s company and could get along perfectly fine.

“Hi, is this seat taken?”

Hakyeon looked up and saw Sanghyuk standing in front of him with a plate and a glass of champagne in his hand.

“No it isn’t. Take a seat.” Hakyeon said
“Thanks.”

Both male sat down on the couch in silence while nibbling on their pizza.

“Too bad you didn’t win. You were really good and you looked pretty y on stage.” Sanghyuk said, breaking the silence and causing Hakyeon to choke on his pizza. “Oh, be careful! Don’t choke on your pizza!”

Hakyeon coughed a few times before he was able to breathe properly.

“I’m okay, don’t worry. I’m just not used to compliments like that.” Hakyeon said as he felt his face heat up.
“I can see that. You’re blushing.” Sanghyuk said and giggled. “It makes you even cuter than I thought.”
“You think I’m cute…?” Hakyeon asked and looked at his plate.
“That’s right… and well… I know this is pretty sudden, but… I was wondering if you… of course only if you want to… Do you want to go out with me?”

Hakyeon looked at Sanghyuk with widened eyes, he didn’t saw that coming and had no idea how to react. Because of this Sanghyuk regretted asking Hakyeon out.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. Just forget what I said. You must be straight anyways.” Sanghyuk said and stood up.
“Wait!” Hakyeon said as he grasped Sanghyuk’s hand. “Who says I’m straight?”
“You aren’t straight… Thanks goodness that makes a rejecting less awkward.”
“You shouldn’t assume what I think. I would love to go out with you.”

---

“Hyung? Hyung are you okay? Have you eaten yet?” Someone said.
“Wonsik.” Hakyeon said surprised, only now realizing that Wonsik had probably turned the music off

Wonsik was his best friend. He was a hip-hop dancer but was also able to dance other dance styles. Because of that Wonsik was one of the most wanted dance teachers. From breakdance to the English Waltz he knew them all.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. If you keep on like this, you will end up hurting yourself. You know that dancing without breaks will cause injuries because you’re overworking your body.”
“I’m already hurt so it doesn’t matter. Besides, I deserve this pain.”
“And what about the competition next week? You’re still entering right?”
“That’s right.”
“I think it might be better to withdraw of this competition. You know you will see him there, you said he is in his second year of his major in event organizing.”
“I know, but I think I need to see him so I can leave it all behind.”
“You sure about that? To me it looks like you only still want to enter because it's a way to punish yourself.”

Hakyeon didn’t answer. Who was he fooling anyways? Hakyeon is like an open book to Wonsik and besides that, this wasn’t the first break up Wonsik saw Hakyeon getting through. So by now he knew how Hakyeon would go through those times.

“Okay. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do this all to punish myself. Maybe I feel better after I got through on myself.”
“Hyung, there are more ways to move on.”
“Don’t you need to think of some new choreography?”
“I took a break.”
“Break or not, can you please leave me alone.”
“Fine, but promise me you will eat something within ten minutes from now.”
“Okay I promise.”

Wonsik then left the dance studio leaving Hakyeon on his own. Hakyeon walked over his bag and took one cereals bar and his bottle with water. He opened the package of the bar and took one bite. He chewed on it a few times before he swallowed it and then took a sip of his water.

After he finished his cereal bar he walked back to the middle of the dance hall and began to dance again. He danced on the beat of the music and let his mind drown into the memories of their relationship. At first it were to nice once but after a while it slipped off to the memories when everything went downhill.

---

“I don’t understand you anymore.” Sanghyuk said as he ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. “You want me to give you more attention, but you don’t do the same. All you do is dance.”
“That’s not true. We spent time together when I'm not dancing too.”
“Sleeping and having dinner at home doesn’t count Hakyeon-hyung.” Sanghyuk said and let out a sign. “When was the last time we went out?”
“Last week.”
“We went shopping because you needed new dance shoes.”
“But still we were spending time together.”
“Hyung, don’t you see it? Everything you do, every time we go out, it’s always related to dancing. Can’t we just once go out without it has to do something with dancing? Can’t you change your schedule a bit?”
“You know I can’t. I got this huge competition coming up. I have to train.”
“Seriously.” Sanghyuk said and let out a bitter laugh. “You’re such a hypocrite. I changed my studying schedules for you because you wanted to see me more, but you won’t do the same for me? Do you even love me enough to sacrifice some dancing time and spent time with me.”
“I do. I love you so much. Don’t ever doubt about that.”
“Then please make some time for me.”
“Okay…” Hakyeon said and let out a sign. “I will try to clear out my schedule.”

Sanghyuk smiled as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him into a hug. Causing Hakyeon to fall down on his back on the couch.

“I love you so much.” Sanghyuk said as he hovered over Hakyeon and connected their lips in a passionate kiss full of love.
“I love you too Sanghyuk-ah”

The first weeks went by just fine. Hakyeon was able to clear out his schedule and gave Sanghyuk more attention. They went out more often and Sanghyuk was really glad about that. Of course Hakyeon enjoyed it too, but when the date of the competition got closer the more stress he felt. He had fallen behind with his training since he had cleared it out until he had 3 training days a week left.

“Sanghyuk.” Hakyeon said when he snuggled close to Sanghyuk under the covers after their making love session
“What is it hyung?” Sanghyuk asked as he massaged Hakyeon’s side with his right hand
“You know the competition is getting closer and I got just three months left. I need to train more…”
“But what about me?”
“I’m still able to see you and go out, but not that much as I used to do now. The only days I will be free would be Monday and Friday, since then the studio is used for dancing classes.”
“You know I’m not free on those days Hakyeon-hyung.”
“I know… but can’t you change your schedule for me? I really have to train the other days.”
“You sure are unbelievable.” Sanghyuk said annoyed

He hated when Hakyeon was putting him on second place. Dancing was always Hakyeon’s first priority and Sanghyuk began to get sick of it. Sanghyuk removed his hand from Hakyeon and just turned his back towards his boyfriend. He then rolled over to the edge of the bed, so there was space between Hakyeon and himself.

“Why do I always have to be on second place? I’m getting sick of it Hakyeon.” Sanghyuk said, dropping the honorifics like he would always do when he got really annoyed
“Sanghyukkie… please don’t be like this.” Hakyeon said as he got closer to Sanghyuk and wrapped his arms around the younger
“How would you feel if you would always be put on the second place?”
“If it has a reasonable reason then I would understand.”
“So if I would put you every time on the second place because I need to organize all kind of events. You would understand? You and I both know that you would start complaining and feel lonely. You would feel like I wouldn’t care about you. That is how you would feel.” Sanghyuk said and paused for a moment. “So you should understand as no other that that is how I feel all the time when you’re putting me on the second place all the time.”

Hakyeon stayed quiet for a while. He knew Sanghyuk didn’t like it when he was busy with his training, but he had no idea that Sanghyuk felt so lonely because of that.

“I’m sorry Sanghyuk-ah.” Hakyeon said as he pressed soft kisses on Sanghyuk’s bare shoulder blades
“I don’t want to feel alone anymore.” Sanghyuk said before he began to sob softly. “I don’t want to be on the second place of your priorities.”

Hakyeon didn’t knew what to say. All he could say was “I’m sorry.”. All though he really wanted to make Sanghyuk happy, he knew he couldn’t postpone his trainings any longer. He had to train hard if he wanted to make a change in the competition.

The next day Hakyeon began his usual 5 days a week training. Sanghyuk disliked it a lot and he didn’t kept it to himself how much he was against to it. At the breakfast he wouldn’t speak to Hakyeon, he wouldn’t sent encouraging text messages when Hakyeon was training and he would already be asleep when Hakyeon come back home late at night. This went on for weeks and Hakyeon felt Sanghyuk slipping away from his reach.

Sanghyuk told Hakyeon many times that he misses him and that he wants to be with him. Hakyeon would say he will make some more time, but in the end he would make up excuses. Dancing got up to his head, so much that he forgot what really should matter and what not. Because of this he even began to lie to Sanghyuk that he would stay over at a friend’s house or that his family needed him for something. Or just some other excuse he made up. In the beginning Sanghyuk didn’t know anything about it, but later he found out that Hakyeon was in the dance studio instead of staying over at his best friend Jaehwan’s house.

Jaehwan had called Sanghyuk to ask were his best friend was since he needed to ask him something. Sanghyuk was pretty much confused when he heard that Jaehwan was looking for his boyfriend, while his boyfriend should be over at Jaehwan’s place. Sanghyuk told Jaehwan that he would tell Hakyeon that he called before he hung up.

He took his keys from his bicycle and left the house after he put on his shoes. Sanghyuk knew exactly where to find the other male, since this wasn’t the first time his boyfriend lied to him about his whereabouts.

When it happened the first time, Hakyeon told him that he was meeting up with his friend Hongbin and that he would be home late since they were planning to drink something at a bar. Sanghyuk knew that Hakyeon didn’t saw Hongbin often due to the fact that Hongbin was busy with moving out and getting a job, so Sanghyuk didn’t mind that Hakyeon gave up his free day to catch up with his friend. However when Sanghyuk bumped into Hongbin at the supermarket, he knew something wasn’t right. He asked Hongbin where Hakyeon was since he was supposed to be with him. He felt his heart sink when Hongbin told him they never planned to hang out that day.

He was so worried not knowing where his boyfriend was. When he got home he had called all of Hakyeon’s friends, he had met them all quite some times and got along very well even though they all were much older than he is. No one knew where he was, but eventually he got a call from Wonsik later in the afternoon that he had found Hakyeon in the dance studio. He felt hurt, disappointed and angry at the same time; he just couldn’t believe Hakyeon lied to him. That day they had a fight about what happened and Hakyeon promised not to do this ever again. However those promises were nothing but just words to please Sanghyuk. Only a couple of days later it happened again and again.

Fifteen minutes later Sanghyuk arrived at the dance studio. He cycled as fast as he could, ignored some red lights and almost run over an old woman. He locked his bicycle and then walked into the studio with big and quick steps.

It didn’t take long until Sanghyuk found Hakyeon. It wasn’t that hard since he knew the song that Hakyeon was going to use for the competition and the song could be heard the moment he stepped into the hall with different dancehalls. Sanghyuk opened the door, not minding to knock. Inside was Hakyeon fully concentrated on his dancing and didn’t notice Sanghyuk standing in the door opening. It was when Sanghyuk switched the light on and off that he finally got Hakyeon’s attention.

“S-Sanghyuk.” Hakyeon said softly after he turned the music off “What are you doing here?”
“Shouldn’t I ask you the same?” Sanghyuk asked
“I-I was…” stammered Hakyeon, not knowing what he should say
“Guess who called a while ago?” Sanghyuk asked, hoping Hakyeon would give an answer but he didn’t. “Jaehwan-hyung called. He asked me if you were able to get on the phone while you were supposed to be at his place.”
“Sanghyuk… I…”
“I don’t want to hear it. This isn't the first time you lied to me… I can’t go on like this… wondering when it's the next time you will lie to me… only to get hurt again and lose my trust… I don't want this anymore… I'm sorry… It’s over.” Sanghyuk said with tears in his eyes before he turned around and ran out.

Hakyeon fell on his knees on the ground as tears streamed down his cheeks. His heart broke into thousands of pieces. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry out Sanghyuk’s name but he just couldn’t. All he could do was stare at the open door, while his tears blurred his vision. What was he thinking that all this lying to the love of his life could end with a happy ending. Of course Sanghyuk was going to get sick of it and knock it off. He didn't blame Sanghyuk for it; he would probably do the same if he was in his position. So instead of blaming Sanghyuk, he blamed himself for all of it.

---

Hakyeon felt that his cheeks had become wet once he got back from his thoughts. He let out a heavy sigh as he whipped his tears away. He would always ended up crying but still he went through with it. After all he deserved this all for ruining it all and causing to lose the love of his life.

The week continued like this. Hakyeon would wake up early and get back home late. He would dance with non to very short breaks and Wonsik would interrupt his training to nag and worry about his health.

Finally the day of the competition has come. Ever since he had woken up he felt very nervous. However this wasn’t because of the competition, he felt nervous because of Sanghyuk. He hadn’t seen him in months and he wondered if Sanghyuk was just as broken as he is or if he has already moved on.

Hakyeon took a deep breath as he walked into the school. Just like the year before there were paper arrows pasted to the wall which guided the way to the theater. Next to the entrance stood a student, who was holding a notebook. Hakyeon hadn't seen her before and the name Haebin on her name tag didn't sounded familiar. Also she wore a pink shirt with the school's logo on it, it was the same shirt Sanghyuk wore the year before. So she must be a first year student.

“Good afternoon.” she greeted friendly. “I assume you're here for the dance competition. May I know your name?”
“Cha Hakyeon.” he answered.

She opened her notebook and went through the names on the list of participants. When she found his name she looked up for his number and then she took the sticker papers with numbers and placed then on top of the now closed notebook.

“Here you go. You’re number 9 of the 25. Once you're dressed into your stage outfit you can stick the sticker on your outfit.” she told him with a smile as she gave him his number and then opened the door for him. “My classmate Hyeri will take you backstage. I hope you will have fun and good luck in the competition.”

Hakyeon thanked her and smiled before he entered the room. Just like Haebin said, someone was standing there. The girl wore the same shirt as Haebin and has a name badge with Hyeri written on it. When she saw Hakyeon she greeted him and told him that she would bring him backstage. She told him that Sanghyuk was the manager walking around there and that he could ask him questions if he had any.

When they reached backstage Hakyeon thanked her. She smiled at him and told him goodbye before she went back to her spot to greet the other contestants when they arrive.

Hakyeon wanted to walk as soon as possible towards the lounge room. He regretted more and more that he entered this contest. Wonsik was right he should have redrawn from the contest and just move on, but he was too obnoxious to listen.

He looked around if he could see Sanghyuk, but all he saw where people with pink, purple and green shirts on. Sanghyuk would be wearing a blue shirt if the school kept the same color system to make clear which student was in which year. Hakyeon let out a sigh before he hurried to the lounge room.

He didn't really looked where he was going as his thoughts took over again, causing him to bump into someone. He had his eyes closed when it happened and he didn't dared to look who it was. When he slowly opened his eyes he saw a blue shirt. He could feel his windpipe tighten. He was afraid that of all people he had to bump into Sanghyuk, he could already feel the tears form into his eyes as his thoughts got the best of him, playing all kinds of bad scenarios in his mind.

“Are you okay?”

Authors Note: Sorry for leaving you here with a cliffhanger but this was the only part I could split it.... so yeah... sorry for that.... anyways I hope you enjoy