Flames came out from both their eyes, Jongdae’s flames were softer, gentler, held a bit of disappointment; while Mei’s flames were roaring, angry, and volatile. Jongdae’s heart did a gesture he was very familiar with in the past couple of days, because he had been thinking about this for a while and now that he had finally said it – in front of everyone, nonetheless – he felt it ten times worse.

He and her were standing in the gymnasium, along with his group of friends. What had been a friendly match of basketball between each other turned into a match of eyes. Jongdae’s heart was thumping harshly, till he could feel it pouncing off the walls of his throat. He tried swallowing his beats down, but the intensity of his feelings were making him helpless.

“Wow, now? In front of everyone else?”

He winced at her words, sweat breaking on his head from both exhaustion, humiliation, and sadness. He realized now that he said what he did, he regretted it immediately. Mei’s expression shifted into a soulless one, her mask of indifference taking place on her face, making his heart fall.

Just seconds ago, her eyes were twinkling, only for him; and he was able to see it, because she allowed him. She had been allowing him a lot of access to her emotions, but the minute the words ‘lets break up’ came out of his lips, she put on her fierce mask, the same armor that put enemies in their line.

He was now her enemy.

Behind him, he could hear his friends’ soft pants, as they all circled around him almost protectively. For a few days now, they’ve been convincing him to do this, increasing their pressure every time he nagged about something she either did unconsciously, or said carelessly. They were his anchor, his rock, and having them around him even while they were tired with playing ball made him feel at ease, comfortable, and he was ashamed of himself. He just broke up with his girlfriend, the woman who he liked for the longest of time.

He could see Mei’s brown jewels of eyes flickering over his friends, whom had heard everything and were giving her stares as if she’s not a part of them anymore (not like she ever felt like she was) eyes of predators, eyes that held pure feelings of loathsome, eyes that told her they’d no longer pretend to be friends. Eyes open, real, raw; and Jongdae could feel her heart shattering into tiny pieces, despite having her armor on.

Then, she flickered her eyes back to him, and he saw a quiver in them that wasn’t apparent in her words, or her lips like it’s supposed to be. He saw weakness he had never witnessed before, he saw pure flames getting distinguished right in front of him.

He saw her dull eyes getting duller, as if he’s now one of the many reasons that made her the person she was today. And he realized perhaps he was meant to be another mistake she’d pay attention not to make again.

She looked away after that, and went to silently collect her things that were neatly inside her bag, the bag that was beside his. She did it silently, quietly, not a voice from her voice, not a tremble to her steps, and Jongdae started to think. Was this how she was always invincible? Because she had been broken countless of times before?

After she was done with picking her things, she straightened, fixing the straps of her bag around her shoulders. She looked him straight in the eyes, and Jongdae on a deep breath.

“Okay. I hope this relationship, while it lasted; has been a great experience for you not to pursue girls like me again.”

He had hoped she slapped him instead.

-

Few days after that incident, Jongdae felt utterly numb, and he didn’t know why. He had thought he’d feel incredible, liberated, awesome; but all he felt these agonizing three days was empty.

His friends told him break ups were like that, they hurt at the beginning and then they just don’t anymore. They told him he’d take him even a week or two, before he felt okay again. They told him he had done great, and that she was a liability he had done excellent work with disposing of, they told him she would have dragged him down, so breaking up with her was the greatest thing he had done.

Jongdae didn’t agree, but then again; Jongdae was wrong about a lot of things. They weren’t.

He saw her a lot these past days. She hadn’t been as affected as he was. She returned to her old ways (not like she had changed with him or anything, she just done them less) she became that quiet, lonely girl again, she regained her composed look, her calculating eyes. Now that he had officially made their break up announcement, people didn’t try to befriend her again.

He remembered her telling him one day that students started to approach her more lately after they starting dating, and jokingly added he made her approachable, appealing, and less violent. He hadn’t believed her then, because he was blinded with how beautiful and cool sh