“Mei, Where are you?”

Jongdae half huffed, half sighed while talking to the phone, the device in his hand and pressed to his left ear too tight in his grip. He didn't exactly know what to feel at this exact moment. He was supposed to pick his girlfriend, Mei, out from the front gates of the university they shared; but unlike their deal, she wasn't waiting for him there. Which , because his friends were with him and they were persistent with leaving him behind if she were a second more late.

He heard a soft noice of a crunch from the other side, and he imagined the object the voice was belonging to immediately. Chips. She liked eating them, and they were almost constantly in her hands, along with a bottle of cold icy coca-cola. 

“At the library,” she replied him hastily, her teeth continuously biting on the chips inside . Jongdae held the urge to wince. That noise always made him uncomfortable. “I’m still doing that homework that is due tomorrow.”

“You told me you finished it already.” Jongdae countered, massaging his sweaty forehead with another sigh. “You said you’ll join us for this party, and that you’ve already finished all of your works for tomorrow’s classes. Where did this come from?”

He heard another noise of chips breaking apart, followed by voices of students, mixed with the harsh pressing of laptop keys. Jongdae thought she was typing on her laptop, and bit on a groan. Was she really that busy? 

“I forgot about it. You can go with the boys, it's fine. I’ll just not go.” He heard her soft voice drifting away momentarily, before she took a solid grip of her phone instead of pressing it between her shoulder blade and cheek. He could almost picture her sitting down on one of the empty seats inside the library, alone, with back hunched, disheveled appearance, and food scattered around her table. She was naturally a messy person, and he thought him calling her added to the mess-making that hung around her all the time. 

Jongdae looked at the said boys whom she wanted to leave him alone with, and saw how impatient they all were. They all kept whispering between each other, some even pointing at their watch for him to take the hint, and he felt his heartbeats increasing. He really liked it when she was with him. He was a naturally anxious boy, and she always steadied him. Despite her detached and cold personality, she was his rock, and he couldn't leave alone without her.

He could, actually; since they were all his friends anyways, but he really preferred not. They were all rough-mannered and a lot, she was there to bite their tongues and shove their words down their asses for him, and he felt really secure with her. Not like he ever told her that to begin with; but he genuinely was looking forward to having her with him. 

“I wanted you to be there..” he dejectedly mumbled, and the line from the other side turned silent all of a sudden, and then a sigh broke through the silence. He almost jumped.

“I’m busy, the homework is due tomorrow and I.. sorry. I can't go with you.” She finalized, and Jongdae’s heart hurt. 

She always have to do that. She always have something to replace him with. He gets that she isn't a party person, he understands that she doesn't enjoy people’s company like him; and although he doesn't know why, he knows she doesn't like his friends too, which always makes her avoid their hangouts. His friends have gone through tons of relationships and all of their girlfriends followed them around whenever they desired. Why couldn't she be the same?

He just doesn't understand why she couldn't be like any normal girlfriend. He at least feels neglected by her once every day, and it so ing hurts. 

“She’s not coming.” He told his awaiting friends, and they all simultaneously groaned aloud, making him smile sheepishly. 

“I told you she’s not worth the wait,” Baekhyun, a passionate hater for his girlfriend, stated with a wide smirk, highlighting the evil slash look he had decided to go as this night. Jongdae raised an eyebrow. “She eventually always have second plans in the last minutes.” He continued, and Jongdae didn't know what to reply, because he was right.

“What I don't understand is why you are still dating her,” Chanyeol, one of his tall best friends, said emotionlessly; although there was a clear mask of worry behind his tasteless eyes. “You said you’d give her a chance to see what kind of a person she is up-close, and there; you know, why are you still hanging to her?” 

Honestly, Jongdae wanted to act oblivious and say he doesn't know why he’s still having hope for a healthier relationship, but he’d be lying, because he knows why he’s holding on to her so tightly. Albeit being a little emotionless, and a bit unresponsive, and a bit out of his league, he felt deeply for her. She evoked feelings out of him he didn't know he could possess. Although he was a very easy going person with constant smiles, she gave him another choices of feelings. With her, he felt it was okay not to always be happy. With her, he felt okay being himself. She was mean and she was cold towards everyone, but she wasn't judgmental, which immediately tossed all of the other negativity within her out of the window.

With her, Jongdae never felt less and that was a feeling his overly-confident friends couldn't possibly understand.

“Give it up, Jongdae,” Baekhyun said again, breaking him out of his reverie with his obnoxiously annoying voice. “You know she’s not the one. You know you can have better, and you know she’s an evil witch. Just.. give her up.”

“I agree,” Chanyeol agreed, and Jongdae was stunned with how talkative his silent best friend was unusually being. “You need someone better than her. There are tons of girls waiting for a chance to talk to you and here you are, wasting time over someone that doesn't deserve an ounce of affection from you.”

Jongdae wanted to tell him he knows nothing of the dynamics of their relationship, and that Mei is by far a greater person than they're all giving her credit for, but he couldn't. There are already intruders listening (girls whom the boys randomly picked up to take with them) and this was a private conversation he didn't even understand why the boys are stressing over here, outside the school campus. It wasn't like he ever gave opinion over their love lives – he didn't even care. The boys treated girls like they were things to own and brag about, nothing more; and there is no way he’d take love advices from them. 

“Boys, don't stuff your noses where they don't belong,” Suho, the most level-headed guy from his group of friends pulled Chanyeol and Baekhyun backwards, an easy-going smile curving on his lips in a way that was almost cunning. Jongdae have always thought Suho was a charmer in disguise. He can never take him seriously. “Let the boy discover his own things by himself. He’d make mistakes and learn by himself..” he paused to give Jongdae a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry for them, they just care about you and want the best for you.”

“I’m pretty sure I know how to judge a person by myself.” Jongdae added, nodding and mentally applauding to himself for giving out such a nice comeback.  

“Nobody is saying anything about that, Dae,” Baekhyun was adamant on this subject and he didn't seem to want to let it go anytime soon. Jongdae always thought Baekhyun becomes incredibly passionate when it comes to his separation with Mei, for a reason he didn't acquire yet. “We know you're a good person thus attracting good people, but this girl.. she’s on a whole new level. She seems to care for you little and she doesn't seem to love you as much as you do. Honestly, tell me, don't you deserve someone better?”

Well, Jongdae was