Regrets

I Won't Give Up

Do you see that 'Sooyoung POV'? Yes, you're right. I don't kill them! I am a good writer, ain't I? :)

 

 

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Sooyoung POV

"Wake up, Soo.." I see Jessica's face in front of me, one of her palms carresed my cheek softly. She is smiling.

"Sica? We are alive?" She just nods at my question.

 

"Wake up, Soo. I need you."

And just after saying that, she disappears.

 

 

 

"NO!" I scream and sit down, feeling some cold sweats on my face.

 

"Soo!" I look to the side and there is Taeyeon, "You are awake? Wait, let me call the doctor!" She then leaves me and runs exiting the room. Just then I realised I'm in a hospital room. I'm still alive. How come?

 

Suddenly I feel sting in the left side of my head, so I try to touch it with my hands. As I reach my head, I feel the same pain in both of my hands. I take them down again just to see that they are wrapped in bandage.

 

 

flashback

 

"I'm sorry.." I heard her whispering under me.

Before I know it I felt my body tremble because the sudden pain in the hand I used to hold Jessica's. I saw under me and was so speechless having my back hand stabbed by Jessica's other hand, using a scissor she used to take care of me a while ago.

 

I looked at her face and found a huge fear there. I observed her eyes and saw tears were waiting just to fall to her cheeks.

 

 

 

I can't

 

I can't lose you like this

 

 

 

Despite the bloods running, I tightened my grip on her hand. Much stronger than before. I would never let you go, Jessica. Never.

end of flashback

 

 

"Sooyoung!" I hear eomma's voice and look back to the door. I saw her, Taeyeon, and a fine man wearing white coat and glasses, a doctor. Eomma runs and hugs me tight before cupping my face, "you are awake, my daughter!" I just smile at her.

 

"Eomma, let go. You cupped my head to hard. It hurts." I complain. Eomma smiles back as she takes off her hands.

"Miyane.."

 

 

"Where's Jessica?" I ask them immediately.

"Ah, she..." Eomma looks at Taeyeon. Maybe she is clueless with her condition because she stayed in my room.

"She hasn't wake up yet." Taeyeon answers instead, ".. in the room next to this."

"Sh-" My next question cut, because someone comes beside me and greets.

 

"Anyyeong, Miss Sooyoung. Glad that you opened your eyes." It's the doctor.

I bow and smile a little at him, "Neh, thank you very much, Doc."

"Is your head pained so much?" He examines the bandage that circling my hair.

"Ah.. Not much, Doc. It just hurt because it was pushed too hard, now it's okay I guess."

 The doctor nods and throws a small smile, "You have to take it slow, Miss. Don't move too much. Beside wounds in you head, your right back hand, and your left forearm, there are some cuts too on your wrists and legs. It will hurt if you move." He says and replied by me nodding.

 

"Okay, I guess I'll go. Don't forget to take your medicine." He holds my shoulder before turns around and looks at my mother and Taeyeon, "Just call me if it's needed."

"Thanks, Doc." Taeyeon replies as both of them nod before the doctor walk away to the door.

 

"Yah! You!" Taeyeon glares at me, crossing her arms in front of her chest, as soon as the doctor left, while eomma just chuckles and holds my right wrist after taking a chair to sit beside me, "Stop making us worried!"

 

I smirk at her. "How did I make it anyway?"

Taeyeon looks at me, takes up one of her eyebrows, confused.

"I mean... How come Jessica and I still alive?" I rephrase my question, "Because as far as I remember, the cliff we fell to looked so far and rocky. I honestly already expect to have more wound than these.. At least a fracture in my elbow or knee, maybe?"

Taeyeon rolls her eyes, "Jerk. Can't you just be grateful to God?"

 

I smile sourly,

"I'm grateful. Of course I.. Wait.. How's Jessica condition? How's her wounds? Does she get any fracture? How-"

"No." Taeyeon cut. "No fracture, just some cut on her leg. When we found the two of you, you were holding her tight in your embrace so she didn't get much wounds nor cuts."

 

I sigh, relieved.

"Consider yourselves both lucky, because the seniors that saw the accident said that you fell on the top of trees, before finally touch the ground. Maybe that explains how you are not hurt as much as you had imagined."

I mouth an O and say thanks to God in my mind.

 

After a while I push down my blanket and put my feet on the floor,

"I want to see Jessica. Where is her room?"

 

 

Author POV

"I want to see Jessica. Where is her room?" Sooyoung asked.

The two other women shocked at the question.

 

Sooyoung's mother held the young woman's right wrist with her left hand and put her other hand on her daughter shoulder, "Sooyoung-ah, you have just wake up. Just take a break for a while. You need more sleep."

"Neh. W-we will inform you if she wake up later." Taeyeon added with a little stutter.

 

Frowning, Sooyoung said, "It's okay, I'll just take a break in her room. There will be some sofas like here, right?" She pointed at two sofas in the corner of the room.

 

Taeyeon gulped, but Sooyoung was already pushed her back with her palm that's not covered with bandage,

"Come on, Dude. Lead the way.."

 

The midget looked back at Mrs.Choi, asking for agreement. It's as if there is something they couldn't tell Sooyoung yet. The oldest just shrugged and sighed, before nodding quietly.

 

 

 

 

 

***

After a little walking, Sooyoung, leaded by Taeyeon, enter the room where Jessica's taken care. They walked slowly to the side to the side of the American. Just like Taeyeon said before, there are not much wounds nor cuts found in Jessica's skin. It's almost none even. Sooyoung took the nearest chair and sat beside the sleeping girl,before reaching for her hand. She then move her hand to tuck Jessica's heir behind her ears, then slowly caress the girl's left cheek with her thumb.

 

"You told me to wake up in my dream a while ago. So why don't you wake up?" She smiled, relieved that there is not much wounds in Jessica's body. She just have to wait for the other girl to open her eyes.

"Wake up, love."

 

 

Not wanting to ruin the atmospher, Taeyeon hold Sooyoung's shoulder from her back, "Hey, I'm going to your mother, okay. Just call me if you need anything."

Sooyoung turned her head a little and nodded, "Thank you, midget.."

 

 

But as Taeyeon almost reached the exit door, Jessica's hand move little by little, reaching for Sooyoung's arm. The American's eyes slowly opened. Sooyoung smiled widely at this and said excitedly,

 

"Baby, you wake up!"

 

Taeyeon stopped her steps and turn her body around.

 

 

Jessica POV

I feel a hand caressing my cheek and tucking my bangs to be behind my ear. Even when I'm not waken up, I just know who's the owner of that touch. So in between my concious and unconciosness I move my hand and try to search her body. And when I find the part that I predicted as her arm, I try to open my eyes. Then I see her, from a little blur to the clearest. I see her smiling. Her charming smile. A smile that I love. I love her.

 

"Baby you wake up!" She said excitedly.

 

Yes! I open my mouth to say her name.

 

 

 

 

But..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why can't I...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why can't I speak?

 

 

 

 

I look at her, confused. She looked back with the same confused face as mine.

 

"Why, Sica?" She asked.

 

 

I try to open my mouth again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I fail again.

I only let out some empty air with my moving mouth.

 

 

 

 

Sooyoung holds my hand, searching for my eyes that starting to get teary.

 

"D-don't prank me, Jessica." She says while smiling, but with unsure face.

 

 

I try to move my move my mouth again.

 

 

 

 

I try to push my throath again to say her name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But none.

 

 

Nothing come outside.

 

Nothing's heard.

 

 

 

I shake my head to Sooyoung with tears already falling hard.

 

 

 

 

WHY THE FCK CAN'T I TALK?

 

 

 

I look at Sooyoung and she's freezed for a while before, "Y-you.. you can't...?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Doctor said..."

Sooyoung and I turn our head to the owner of the voice. Kim Taeyeon. She stands just beside the door and try to avoid our eyes that clearly searching for hers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Doctor said Jessica might lose her voice due to trauma and the damage occured in her throath when the accident happen."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My open mouth trembled hearing her explaination. My tears still haven't stop falling when I notice that Sooyoung too, now having her face drenched wet. I look at her and shake my head again. The tears on her face fall more. She cupped my face with her wounded hands, still crying.

 

Before I knew, she already dive her face on my stomach and circling her arms around my waist. I hear her sobs and feel my clothed stomach getting wet by her tears.

 

"I'm sorry....." She said in a rather hoarse voice.

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry..." Again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

 

And the tears fall more from my eyes.

 

 

 

 

I wanna say that it's okay altough honestly it's not.

 

 

I wanna say it's not her fault.

 

 

 

Or I wanna simply call her name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I can't.

 

 

 

 

 

And the regrets then hits me.

 

 

 

 

 

How I wish I used my voice better.

 

 

 

 

How I wish I never used it to complain at her when she did some things I don't like.

 

How I wish I never used it to scold her if she got a little naughty.

 

How I wish I never used it to say some angry words to her when I get jealous or mad.

 

How I wish I never used it to scream at her when we got in couple fights.

 

How I wish I never used it to make her sad.

 

To make her angry.

 

To make her guilty.

 

 

 

 

Rather,

 

I wish I used it more to compliment her.

 

I wish I used it more to say that, heck, she is good looking.

 

I wish I used it more to tell her that she is the best girlfriend I could get.

 

I wish I used it more to let her know that I'm so glad that she chose me to be the one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And especially..

 

I wish I used it more..

 

 

 

More...

 

 

 

 

 

More....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To tell her I love her.

 

 

 

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Am I still a good author? He...

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Comments

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wanikuroishi
#1
Chapter 5: Hello authornim welcome back! Soo is such a caring and understanding gf :( I'm still sad for Sica's situation.
shikshinJagiyaSoo24
#2
Chapter 5: HOOOOMMMAYYYGHAAADD AUTHROSSHI!!! UR BACK!!!!!!!!! WELCOME BACKKKKKK!!!!!!! BEEN WAITUNG FOR SOOOOOOO LOOOONGGGG!!!!!!
JessSoohope
#3
Chapter 5: Oh hello youre back!!!!! Kinda miss seing soosic stories being updated skajsjsj and two updated today omg is this a SIGN?!?!

And like the other update, the latest update just had to turn angsty :')
SYoungSphere
#4
Chapter 5: YOU ARE BACK. OH MY GOD. YOU ARE BACK. THANK YOUUUU

And I saw "stella kim" here. Don't you dare anything, okay? Don't make this an angst. Please. I beg youm
snsd_archive #5
Chapter 4: SORRY IF I SOUND DEMANDING BUT YOUR STORIES MAKE ME SHIP SOOSIC PLEASE UPDATE
shikshinJagiyaSoo24
#6
Chapter 4: i keep on re-reading this story and its still make me cryyyyy... where are u now authorsshi :'(((
Icecream013 #7
Chapter 4: no jessica's voice!