Sorry if the story goes very slow. It’s just that my way to write it. Anyways thank you for the subscribers and upvoters.

Seungri POV

It was easy to say that not thinking about past but it was not easy to overcome it. I tried to overcome my fear and insecurities. Every night Jiyong and I never failed to cuddle. How tired Jiyong was, he make sure to hug me and sleep together. It’s almost take another 3 months for me to accept him fully. 1st few nights only hugging. Then I moved to (always I was the one take the initiative but Jiyong will continue from there) kissing. I have to admit that Jiyong was a good kisser. Although I was initiated first and Jiyong get deeper with intimacy I was terrified as my past memory haunted me and I ask Jiyong to stop and without any question he will stop. I know I was selfish as I let him to go through the ual frustration. But Jiyong never complained about it. That make me even guiltier than I already was.

One night, when we cuddling and kissing and when we go further I realised that I am going to have seizure, I stopped him immediately. It was repeated for few days. There were progress in our ual life but not final touch which could fulfil the ual desire yet. My body and soul reacted very well whenever Jiyong kiss me wholly but only I have seizure when go to my lower part. After deep thought, one night when both of was on bed and he was back hugged me while cuddling, I slowly brought my thoughts and shared with him while caressing his arms, I told him that I don’t mind if he look for one night stand and I assured him that I fully understand and wont fuse about it.. That was the 1st time I saw his angriness and he told me that he was not a who look for when his partner going through some difficult time and got out from our bedroom and slept at the couch in our living room.

Next morning he didn’t talk to me and didn’t eat the breakfast I prepared for him despite I said sorry for several times. However I was not feeling sad as I deserved it. Next days also he did the same. It happens for 3 days but I still doing my duties but he didn’t talk me and also not accepting my apologies. This situation made me frustrated about me and courage myself to overcome my final fear for Jiyong. I feel like I am ready for the final touch. Yes I know I am ready. I was planning to talk /show / surprise Jiyong on my readiness once he back from work. However I was surprised instead as Jiyong was there to fetch me. I was so happy. Jiyong got out from his car give me a peck on my lips and also a bouquet of red roses. I was so happy and kissed him passionately and again said sorry and told him I have prepared surprise for him. Jiyong accepted my apologies but never asked about the surprise gift I intended to give him. I was disappointed about that it was disappeared when he brought me to a romantic dinner and had heart to heart talk. He talked about his businesses and so on and I talked about my school. After we finished our desserts, Jiyong hold my hand and told me that after deep thinking he decided to accept my suggestion for go for 1 night stand. When I heard it, I really don’t know how to react about it. I don’t feel happy but it would be lie if I said I am not sad. I smiled at him to hide my real feeling on this confession. I excused myself and went to washroom to wash my teary face which I managed to hide from him.

I really don’t understand myself as I was the one suggested and when he accepted my suggestion, I really cannot take it. But now don’t know how to handle this situation. Will he change his mind if I said I am ready? With that questioned in my mind, I washed my face to erase the trace of the tears, I went back to the table and I saw Jiyong talking happily to a tall handsome guy. I feel jealous the way Jiyong talking to that guy. Who is that guy? Why he so friendly to Jiyong?