"Fourteenth place. Pledis trainee, Kim Jonghyun," Boa announced, words tinged with regret that she was not allowed to disclose as a supposedly impartial announcer. 

The announcement sent a wave of dismay among the audience. In that moment, the entire nation was in shock. The fans were crying; the trainers eyed one another with gaping mouths; the audience collectively let out a sound of shock, regret and sadness. 

But of all the people which the shocking announcement had upset, no one was sadder than Hwang Minhyun. Sitting in his ninth-place chair, Minhyun felt like his heart was about to burst. 

This can't be real. No, it's not real. Something is wrong. They're reading the wrong list. Maybe they just did it for dramatic effect? Maybe they're gonna pull a Steve Harvey?? Minhyun's denial kept him calm and collected, kept the tears which were beginning to collect in his tear ducts from falling. 

But 11th place was called, another trainee walked down the stage to take his rightful place. At this point, Minhyun could no longer hold it in. 

"Don't cry," Yoon Jisung, who was sitting beside him, said. 

Minhyun didn't want to cry. He was usually good at hiding his discontent behind a smile and a dorky laugh, but this time the discontent was so overwhelming that he couldn't hold it in. On national television, hundreds of cameras capturing his every move, Minhyun cried. 

He tried to stop. He could already imagine the hate comments he would receive because of his tears. He was supposed to be happy for the other ten members who made it; crying made him seem ungrateful and greedy, and NU'EST didn't need the bad publicity. Not now. 

It felt cruel and unusual to be in that position. All of South Korea was watching and judging him in his most vulnerable moment, taking his pain as some kind of entertainment. He wished the cameras would stop rolling. He wished for just five minutes of privacy to clear his thoughts and get himself together so that he could smile for the cameras and pretend to be happy with the outcome. 

But no. He was forced to remain onstage until the end. After the victorious trainees descended from the platform of chairs, Minhyun confined himself to a corner behind the podium, where the cameras would less likely find him. He had to turn his back to the audience and look at the ceiling and hope he would stop crying soon. 

The eliminated trainees came onto the stage to congratulate the winners, which Minhyun dreaded. He had to hug and talk to people, and they will all see him crying and feel sorry for him. 

Many came to him. Hugged him. Congratulated him. When they noticed that he was crying, they didn't know how to act and just awkwardly whittled away. 

But it was then that the person Minhyun dreaded seeing most presented himself. Seeing him made Minhyun's lips tremble and heart hurt immensely. Through the crowd of people forming around him, Minhyun reached his trembling hand to the person in question and pulled him closer to his chest and hugged him. 

The amount of times that JR had seen Minhyun cry could probably be counted on his fingers. Minhyun was not a crier; he was optimistic and found the bright side in even the worst of scenarios. Like that one time when they saw that Love Paint had charted at number 474 on the first day: JR and Ren cried, Baekho and Aron drowned their sorrows in beer, but Minhyun bought pizza with 474 written on it with peperoni and told them it's a good thing they didn't get number one, because that would mean less peperoni on the pizza. It was a lame joke that made them laugh even in the midst of that difficult day. 

But it seemed like Minhyun had no bright side to see in all this. He had no peperoni pizza to share with s to lift up the mood. He was crying in a way that JR had never seen from him. 

JR also wanted to cry when he saw Minhyun like this, but he was able to hold it inside through the entire night. He congratulated all the winners with bright encouragement and happiness, well aware of the cameras capturing his every move. There was a lot of pain in his chest, but he had the strength to keep it subdued for hours. 

He left Minhyun alone, knowing that Minhyun preferred to be alone when he cried. Baekho and Ren also followed suit, leaving Minhyun in that corner. 

JR would keep glancing in Minhyun's direction to see if he was alright. He wasn't alone; little Seonho was clinging onto him as usual, and Minhyun let him, as usual. JR knew that Minhyun had asked Seonho to leave him alone, and he also knew that Seonho did not listen. That little chick never does. 

JR was glad Minhyun had someone to keep him company, even if Minhyun thought he didn't want it. JR knew more than anyone that Hwang Minhyun was a person who drowned when he was alone. 

 - 

Hours later, Minhyun was still crying. The trainees had dispersed, and the company vice president had invited NU'EST and their staff to a night of barbecue and soju. 

Minhyun wouldn't even talk to s or the staff. When they were at the restaurant, Minhyun took a seat on a separate table and cried on his own. Eventually, their manager forced him to sit with the group. When Minhyun lifted his head to look at JR, he apologized. 

He apologized to s and the staff. He apologized that only he succeeded. He apologized that he would temporarily have to abandon NU'EST. He apologized for crying on public television therefore probably showing a bad image of himself. Most of all, he apologized for what this meant for NU'EST. 

They had all thought that if two of them had made it, it would give NU'EST enough exposure to keep the group relevant for longer. One is not enough though, Minhyun thought. The case of Chayeon and DIA illustrated that. DIA is not making it in the industry, at least not making it in a way that would pay off all the debt that NU'EST had culminated for the company. For NU'EST to stay alive, they needed to be doing a lot better than DIA was doing. 

NU'EST had thought that the prospect of disbandment was out of the picture, as they had thought it was clear that at least two of them would make the top 11. But now that only one of them made it, that prospect loomed over them like an unwelcome ghost. 

Would NU'EST ever be able to repay the debt now? 

The five members kept ordering drinks. Even Minhyun, who hated drinking, needed something to help him alleviate the distress he was feeling. 

Suddenly, a few minutes after 3 AM, phones started to ring with messages from others. It was the stylist who checked her phone first. 

 "YOUR BOYS DID IT!!!!!" was the message from her friend. The stylist couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the attached pictures. It was NU'EST. On MelOn. Charting. For the first time in over four years, NU'EST had entered the digital charts. 

No. No. It can't be, she thought. This friend was known to be a prankster. It can't be true. She quickly opened the MelOn app herself to check the charts. She cried. 

Fellow employees around her asked her what was wrong. She quickly handed the phone to them to show them. 

It was like, suddenly, their world was bright again. Minhyun's tears of pain were now tears of joy. JR, who had been holding in so much inside of him for the sake of Minhyun, finally burst and cried too. Ren kept refreshing the page, tears falling from his face in streams. Aron smiled and Baekho trembled; it was all so unreal. 

The five members put their arms around one another. They did it. They finally charted. The next hour was even more cause for joy, for more of their songs entered the charts. and they rose. They kept rising that entire night. 

And they rose to first place on Genie, third on MelOn. It was like a dream. 

And it was crazy. Finally, there was concrete proof that they were being recognized. 

Finally. 

 - 

It was morning when the five members were back in the dorm after an emotional night of both pain and joy. 

Minhyun had asked JR sleep beside him that night. Clean-freak Minhyun rarely let him do so for fear of his once-a-week cleaned and ironed bedsheets getting soiled. Minhyun only let him sleep in his room if he was going to do laundry the next day. But this time, the bedsheets were new. 

It was probably because he wasn't going to be sleeping on this bed for a long time, JR reasoned in his head. That reasoning made him sad. It suddenly hit him once again that Minhyun was not going to be around for much longer, and there was a painful feeling in his heart. 

When Minhyun closed the door to the bedroom, JR quickly cleared his now choked-up throat. "Congratulations, Minhyunnie," JR said for the hundredth time with a wide smile. "You made it." 

Minhyun hated when JR did that. Why was he acting like getting into Wanna One was the greatest possible achievement, when it was the same night in which NU'EST had charted for the first time in so long? 

"I've been working to get into Wanna One for three months, but I've been working to make NU'EST succeed for over eight years. Why are you congratulating me about Wanna One when NU'EST charting is actually my biggest achievement tonight?" Minhyun asked, flustering JR greatly. Minhyun always had a way with words...

JR nodded his head in humble acceptance. 

"So congratulations to you for leading us to this success," Minhyun told him before taking his arm and pulling him closer to his chest. 

They wrapped their arms around one another in a long, intimate embrace. This was different than the hug they shared in front of all the cameras though. The one in front of the cameras was a regulated, held-back hug of camaraderie that they shared as friends. This was one of passion that they shared as lovers. 

JR and Minhyun had been dating for three years now. It took many years of being together to realize that there was a special spark between the two of them, and when it was all out on the table, they embraced their romantic relationship with caution and hesitation. 

But alas, three years had passed in which they were happy together. They understood one another so well that miscommunication was rare, and their fights never amounted to anything more than a grumble. They were a couple that fit together like perfectly aligned puzzle pieces. It came to the point that neither could ever even imagine being without the other. It was such that when the prospect of disbandment had been on their minds, they both knew that they would still be living together. 

“I love you, Hwang Minhyun,” JR said to Minhyun as they pulled away from the embrace. Those were words that JR did not often say because of shyness, but in that moment the feeling was too overbearing to silence. 

Minhyun smiled. “I love you too, Jonghyunnie,” he replied. 

A/N: wow it feels nice to be writing nu’est fics again! THANKS FOR READING, hope you enjoy the rest ~