“Hey Minho, can I ask you something?” Jinki asks. Minho looks through his files in the big cabinet behind his desk.

“No,” he answers. Jinki goes on anyway.

“What would you do if you were an angel and took the same case twice?”

The question has Minho looking up, glasses askew on his nose bridge.

“I’m not an angel and I don’t take cases,” he says and dives back into the files. He’s rummaging through papers and Jinki sighs a little.

“I know, but please think about it anyway. When you had just died, did you ever want to go back to Korea to see your family again?”

Minho raises an eyebrow as he turns around to look at Jinki once again.

“What’s that got to do with choosing the same case twice?” he asks and Jinki sinks into the chair in front of Minho’s desk in the Office.

“I … It’s …”

Minho sighs and fishes a file from the cabinet so he can dump it on his desk. He doesn’t make any motion to ask Jinki anything, as if he doesn’t care about Jinki’s confusion but Jinki stays put in his chair. He needs to voice it out loud, needs advice on whether or not he’s doing the right thing.

“Do you think I’ve chosen the same case twice because he’s South Korean and I miss the culture and the country?” he asks and Minho turns a page violently but he doesn’t lift his face from where he’s reading.

“If you miss living, you shouldn’t have jumped in front of a train,” he says cynically and Jinki groans a little.

“C’mon, not you too. I didn’t know I would end up here.”

This causes Minho to look up from his papers and eye Jinki with scrutiny.

“You can always retire if it’s too hard for you,” he says but Jinki doesn’t get to defend himself before Minho continues. “But yes, I did go back once and it was horrible. There’s a reason everybody here recommends not going to your country of origin the first couple of years after death. Seeing loved ones hurting and then seeing them move on, it’s evil. But we all do what we must and we learn how to cope. You will too. But if I was an angel and I chose the same case twice I would probably think I was masochistic and an idiot.”

The last part is said with jest and Jinki can’t stop himself from smiling. Maybe he is an idiot. That’s the best explanation really, but for some reason it makes it easier to deal with his stupid choices when he knows that he’s not the only one that used to miss his humanity. Minho hasn’t really said much in detail other than repeating what most others have told Jinki before but for some reason, it’s different when it comes from the reserved Secretary.

“Thank you,” Jinki says and gets up from the chair. Minho waves him away with a hand before he buries himself in the papers again just as it knocks on the door and an elderly black man enters.

“Shoo Jinki,” Minho says and Jinki leaves the room the same second Minho addresses the man with his name, the same way he had addressed Jinki when Jinki had arrived.

✕✕✕

When Jinki exits the elevator and steps onto the ground floor of Shinsegae in Daegu on December 1st he’s ready for his challenge. He knows who to look for and he has ideas already, most of them involving singing in choirs like last year. He hopes Kibum has forgotten about him so he doesn’t have to explain where he has been in the last 11 months. The mall is decorated in gold and red with plastic trees and ribbons everywhere. The speakers play Christmas carols and people are hurrying through stands while buying Christmas presents.

Jinki smiles wide as he soaks up the busy Christmas spirit. He nods a greeting to a saleswoman and continues on his way. As he steps onto the pavement he looks around him and notices the cold. The wind is freezing and he drags his coat a little around him so he blends in with everybody else. Jinki doesn’t really freeze, not anymore, but he likes to cuddle in the large coat Yunho handed him last year before he left the first time.

He walks down the streets until he finds Daegu Arboretum. Walking through the bare trees and cold plants leaves a satisfaction behind, he learns. It’s like he’s free here and it leaves space to think about how to approach Kibum this time around. Jinki doesn’t get a lot of time to think, however, before he unexpectedly spots the other man a few feet ahead. Kibum is dressed in the same trench coat as he was last year, the same scarf slung around his neck and hiding half his face but his hair has been dyed blonde and his shoulders hunch in a way that isn’t entirely forced by the cold. He looks withdrawn, isolated, as he stares at the big old oak without leaves and Jinki feels a pinch of sadness.

Last year he had done everything in his power to create a better Christmas for Kibum, but now, as he’s looking at the man he’s supposed to cheer up, the only thing he truly wants to do is wrap him in a blanket and hug him. That, however, is probably not going to happen because although it’s been a year, Jinki hasn’t forgotten Kibum’s unwillingness to talk to him.

Just as he finishes thinking the thought, Kibum turns and their eyes meet. Jinki sends him a small smile and Kibum squints at him. They stand in their spots for what feels like hours but is probably only a few seconds before Kibum starts walking towards Jinki. When he’s within hearing distance he lowers his scarf a little.

“Do we know each other?” he asks and Jinki panics slightly.

“Uh no, I don’t think so,” Jinki stutters and curses himself inwardly. Kibum frowns a little.

“You look familiar,” he says and Jinki bites his lower lip so he stops himself from blurting out something he shouldn’t. After a few moments, Kibum shrugs a little. “I’m sorry, I must have confused you with someone else.”

Jinki exhales relieved and sends Kibum a blinding smile.

“It’s okay! May I ask what you’re doing out here in this cold?” he asks and Kibum chuckles a little.

“I could ask you the same.”

Jinki shrugs a little.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Kibum just shakes his head a little and sends Jinki a small smile before he turns towards the trees again and stares at them.

It’s so different from the last time they met. The Kibum in front of him is not as snappy as the one he met the year prior. He isn’t masking himself the same way with attitude but rather with isolation. Where 25-year-old Kibum was dying to be left alone, there is something in 26-year-old Kibum that begs for Jinki to stay. The conversation is as superficial as it was the year before, the information given of no importance whatsoever to their relationship if there is any relationship to begin with. It confuses Jinki a little, to stand in front of the same man when he acts so differently.

“The one you’re mistaking me for,” Jinki starts and gains Kibum’s attention once again. “Who was he?”

Kibum snorts a little before he buries into his scarf again.

“Someone I met last year during Christmas that made me laugh. I’ve forgotten most of his appearance, though, so that’s why I must have mistaken you two.”

Jinki feels his heart beat faster in his chest and he curses himself because this is not supposed to happen. It makes him happy, however, to know that he actually managed to make a difference in Kibum’s life. That he’s here again to do the same thing makes him determined to make this Christmas even better than the one he created for Kibum last year. It also ignites a hope that with the way Kibum acts, there’s a chance to get close, a chance to be friends and not just strangers to one another.

And sure, Jonghyun had said that it wasn’t his job to become the best friend and the shoulder to cry on but Jinki wants to be exactly that for Kibum, even with the knowledge that he’ll be gone on the evening between December 25th and December 26th.

Kibum shivers a little in his trenchcoat before he turns towards Jinki once again.

“Have a good evening,” he says and Jinki reaches a hand towards him.

“Nice to meet you, Kibum,” he says. He doesn’t notice his slip-up or the way Kibum’s eyebrow arches gently under his bangs but Kibum says nothing about it as he repeats the sentence and leaves Jinki alone to the bare trees in the arboretum.

✕✕✕

Jinki grabs his cup of coffee and takes a gulp, only to burn his tongue on the hot liquid and he yelps in distress when his tongue numbs.

“Dammit,” he says and bites his tongue twice before he returns to the papers in front of him. He’s at a small café, one he has taken a liking to because it’s small and cozy. It looks a little like a café he used to visit when he was alive and living in Seoul, the books along the end wall creating a homely atmosphere. The coffee tastes great as well which is a pleasant surprise and another reason to stay. He has listed down things he should be doing to create a better Christmas for Kibum, most of which include sending secret presents and letters, hoping for snow and building snowmen and lighting candles whenever he can. It’s simple things that will hopefully lift Kibum’s mood slightly and make him smile.

He doesn’t hear the bell and he doesn’t notice the person in the chair opposite of him until a piece of fabric interrupts his vision. A glove-clad hand draws towards his papers and Jinki panics again, reaching out to grab the papers before it’s too late.

“Is it important?” a voice he knows all too well asks and Jinki looks up to get eye contact with Kibum. Kibum has taken off his scarf and his trench coat is open in the warmth of the café and Jinki gapes stupidly. Never in a million years had he expected to be sitting in front of Kibum on Kibum’s initiative, but here they are. Kibum chuckles a little and sits back in his chair.

“Did I disturb you? I can leave again, it’s okay. I was just waiting for my coffee when I saw you here working and I don’t know what made me sit down.”

Jinki shakes his head frantically and messes up his papers as he forces them back into his messenger bag.

“Oh no, it’s fine!” Jinki says and sends Kibum a wide smile that only has Kibum raising an eyebrow.

“You did look busy, though.”

Jinki nods a little.

“I guess I am,” he contemplates and thinks that’s a pretty good way to say it. Kibum nods in understanding.

“Is it work-related?” he asks and Jinki considers this for a few seconds before he nods. That’s an even better way to put it. Kibum doesn’t have to know that it’s related to Christmas, really. That would be difficult to explain. But Jinki supposes that being a Christmas Angel is kind of his job so work-related should work as well.

Kibum leans back in his chair and Jinki takes another sip of coffee.

“I’m sorry if I’m intruding, I really am,” Kibum says again after a few seconds and Jinki almost chokes in his coffee in his haste to deny that Kibum is intruding. He doesn’t get to say a word, though, before the barista calls Kim Kibum and Kibum gets up from his chair. Kibum leaves him to get his coffee and doesn’t come back when he has picked it up and Jinki is left alone, staring at the door wondering what just happened and why Kibum came to him.

When he finds his papers again, he finds them crumpled and cracked in various places.

✕✕✕

It throws Jinki off his plan when he on December 4th joins the choir that sings on the market place and Kibum, instead of smiling and leaving after approximately 30 seconds, stops to listen and waits until they’re finished. As the choir splits into small groups of two and three to get lunch, Jinki stays behind and stares at Kibum.

“I’m sorry,” Kibum says with a small smile. Jinki shakes his head a little. “You remind me of the man I met last year. He sang Christmas carols in choirs as well.”

He talks with a fond voice, like Jinki had actually made an impact last year, had actually gotten close to him, but that’s impossible because Jinki knows for sure that they weren’t friends or anything of that sort. Kibum stares ahead for a couple of seconds before he blinks and shakes his head slightly.

“It sounds like you were close to him,” Jinki says and Kibum laughs out loud.

“Oh, no. I don’t think he’d remember me anyway,” Kibum says and Jinki silently begs to differ. Kibum laughs and invites him for lunch when Jinki’s stomach growls and the two of them walk down the streets. Talking with Kibum this year is different than it had been the year previously. There is something about the way he talks that has Jinki listening more intently than he used to.

Last year had been all about proving his worth as a Christmas Angel. This year, however, is more about listening to what is actually being said. He doesn’t notice time go by and he doesn’t realize that he slowly becomes attached to Kibum.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

They’re sitting in a small barbecue restaurant when Jinki spots Taeyeon outside the window. Her wings are hidden but it’s undoubtedly her and Jinki widens his eyes in surprise. This has Kibum turning around to look out the window as well but when he doesn’t find anything exciting he turns back to Jinki and laughs. Jinki can feel a shiver run down his spine when she turns to get eye contact with him and he can almost feel the judgment and the warning coming his way. He also knows that he hasn’t made Kibum unhappy so it will be unfair if Jonghyun does find him to warn him, but he still can’t shake the feeling. Kibum waves his hand in front of Jinki’s face but when Jinki doesn’t react he pouts instead.

When Taeyeon tears her eyes from Jinki’s and Jinki turns back to Kibum, he is surprised at the sight that meets him. Kibum is unbearably cute. The man in front of him is nothing like the man he met last year and Jinki should not consider him cute, should not think he’s beautiful but Kibum is beautiful. Kibum continues to talk about his new job at the hospital when Jinki begins listen and the more he talks, the more Jinki thinks he might be crushing just a little bit on the human.

✕​​​​​​​✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It should be accidental, really, the way they meet up so often but the more Jinki tries to execute his plan in secret, the more Kibum finds him and coaxes him into staying, into talking. Jinki realizes he doesn’t want to leave Kibum alone when Christmas ends and the realization has him distancing himself slightly from the other man.

The time they spend together does not only hurt because Jinki is starting to get to know Kibum, it also hurts because he knows he could have had it all had he still been alive. The Christmas carols they sing to each other as they walk down the streets Christmas shopping and the conversations they have over lunch.

They walk through the parks in Daegu when the sun has set and laughs towards the stars. Kibum’s laughter is as addictive as his silence and Jinki finds himself drawn to him. When the first snow falls on December 12 Jinki finds Kibum deep in thought and decides to spice up their day with a snowball fight. Kibum is annoyed when he’s hit with the first snowball but the light in his eyes changes gradually as he bends down to create a snowball of his own.

They laugh in the snow like children and adults look at them like they’re insane and Jinki thinks that maybe they are insane but laughter is better than anything else and it’s exactly what he’s looking for. An hour later when they’re soaked to the bone, Kibum asks him if he wants to go back to his place.

Jinki hasn’t revealed where he’s staying in fear of revealing himself. It’s not like he as an angel needs a roof over his head and he usually spends most nights in 24-hour cafés and libraries, but he can’t tell Kibum that.

Kibum leads him to a small 1-bedroom apartment and invites him inside. It’s humble in decoration, not a lot of furniture and not a lot of pictures on the wall yet still it oozes Kibum. There’s an intimacy in it all despite the little decoration. A few family pictures are on the only dresser and Jinki finds himself staring at a young Kibum with an elderly lady in front of an amusement park ride. Kibum sneaks up behind him, towelling his hair and when Jinki turns around he’s face to face with Kibum. Kibum smiles a little.

“That was my grandmother,” he says fondly and Jinki swallows a lump in his throat. “Do you want to borrow a towel for your hair?” Kibum asks a few seconds later, changing the conversation from family affairs to more mundane things. Jinki nods and he follows Kibum into the small kitchen when he’s done towelling his hair dry. Kibum is heating water on his electric kettle.

“Do you like hot chocolate? I don’t have any more instant coffee,” he says apologetically and Jinki just shrugs as he sits down in the chair.

“Hot chocolate is fine.”

Silence sets over them while Kibum fiddles with two multi-coloured cups as he makes two cups of hot chocolate. He hands one to Jinki before he sits down in the chair opposite of Jinki. There is nothing to really talk about, Jinki realizes, when he takes the first sip of his hot chocolate.

Kibum is still warming his hands on the cup and Jinki notices the elegance of them. They’re long, slender and a small golden band sits over his ring finger. It looks like an engagement ring but if the past 12 days are any indication, Kibum is single. Not once has he mentioned a significant other and there are no signs of two people living in the small apartment.

Jinki doesn’t dare ask, however. He doesn’t want what has unexpectedly happened between them to be broken because he’s too nosy. Jinki doesn’t need to ask, though, when Kibum notices he’s looking at the ring as well. He chuckles a little and sits up a little straighter in his chair.

“It’s my father’s,” he says and twists it around once, twice before he leaves it alone on his finger. “He gave it to me before he died as a reminder. I have worn it ever since.”

It’s the first time Kibum has acknowledged his father’s death for Jinki. Jinki hasn’t mentioned it, obviously, because he’s still a stranger and details like that are delicate. All the things he knows about Kibum because of paperwork is long forgotten memories, details he can never say out loud because that would make him appear as a creep.

“Oh,” he says dumbly instead of nodding in understanding. Kibum shrugs a little and takes another sip of his hot chocolate.

“It’s nothing,” he says and tries to mask his vulnerability but Jinki sees right through him.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to hide from me.”

Jinki smiles and Kibum takes another sip of his hot chocolate. The silence falls over them again as they continue to drink their hot chocolate while the snow falls softly outside. When he leaves to find a 24-hour café in the evening, he can’t help but wonder what he’s going to do when he has to leave.

For some reason, getting close to Kibum, is tearing on Jinki as well. The knowledge that there is a person here who seeks him out, wants his company, is more than he had ever wished as a human and to finally get it, even in death, is strange. He doesn’t want to leave Kibum, though. As much as he knows he will have to and as much as he knows that Kibum will likely forget him when December ends, he can’t help the want to stay forever. Jinki wishes he could go back to life. He’ll have to ask someone about that when he gets back to HQ.

✕​​​​​​​✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

They watch the girls’ choir sing carols on December 16 before they retreat to Kibum’s apartment to create Christmas decorations. Christmas music is playing through the speakers as they dance around and sing along. It’s silly, really, but the smile on Kibum’s face and his laughter has Jinki’s heart beating faster and Jinki finds himself so enchanted with the other man he sometimes stops what he’s doing just to look.

Kibum laughs and continues his decoration and instead of hanging it in the windows as planned he starts decorating Jinki. Paper hearts and colourful paper cornets adorn his hair and Kibum laughs out loud when he places a paper heart right above Jinki’s real heart. Jinki laughs and catches his hand and without thinking he laces their fingers. Kibum stiffens and pulls away and Jinki instantly regrets everything he has ever done in his entire life. There was a reason he killed himself, he should never have become a Christmas Angel. How could he possibly think he could make Kibum’s Christmas better when he always does the wrong things.

He doesn’t get to leave the apartment before Kibum has intertwined their fingers again.

“You look like an idiot,” he says and squeezes Jinki’s hand. Jinki tries to drown the beating of his heart as he tilts his head and feels the paper hearts scratch his neck.

“And whose fault is that?” he asks and Kibum snorts.

“You would be a beautiful Christmas tree, though. I don’t need to buy one now, I just need you to stand in the corner!”

Kibum laughs and stands up, pulling Jinki with him and pushes him to the corner. He takes a step back and laughs at the sight of a confused Jinki in the corner. Then he tilts his head a little and brings a finger to his mouth as he fakes thinking deeply before he nods to himself.

“I know what you’re missing.”

And with those words, Kibum hurries off into his bedroom. When he comes back he’s carrying an old golden star and as he places it on top of Jinki’s head, he stumbles a little and ends up far closer than any of them had expected. A slight pink dusts his cheeks as he takes a step back and looks down. Jinki wishes he wasn’t thinking about how it would be to kiss Kibum. They stay silent for a few heartbeats until Jinki coughs slightly to rid himself of the curiosity.

“So, do I look like a Christmas tree now?” Jinki says in a silent voice and Kibum looks up and sends him a grateful smile before he nods.

“You look perfect, just stand still.”

Kibum hurries off and when he returns he has his phone in hand. He snaps a picture of Jinki despite Jinki’s protests and the mood only minutes earlier seem to dissipate in the air as they continue their decorations.

✕​​​​​​​✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

“Look at this!” Jinki says and hurries to a stand where he finds a pair of glasses for New Years. They write out 2019 in gold glitter and Kibum laughs out loud.

“It’s not even Christmas yet!” he whines and Jinki chuckles as he puts the glasses back in their stand. Kibum grabs his elbow and drags him to the next stand to look at small homemade scented candles and soap. He smells the different kind of candles and holds up a few for Jinki to smell as well. They decide on vanilla and a cinnamon Christmas candle and Jinki looks around.

His eyes catch another small stand that has a lot of wooden figures on display and he drags Kibum with him, their hands linked lazily so they don’t lose each other in the amount of people on the market. There are reindeer and santas and elfs and everything a Christmas heart could desire and Jinki notices how Kibum reaches out towards a small figure of an angel. It’s simple, looks a little like Jonghyun and it has Jinki smiling a little.

When Kibum finds the price, sighs and puts it back down, Jinki decides he can buy a Christmas present for Kibum.

“Let me buy it,” he says and Kibum shakes his head and pushes the figure away from Jinki.

“No, just leave it be. Don’t spend money on me,” he says and Jinki frowns cutely. Kibum rolls his eyes. “That does not work on me Lee Jinki, come on.”

With those words, he drags Jinki with him towards the next stand and Jinki casts a glance towards the tree stand and the small angel.

They sit on a bench with styrofoam cups of mulled wine and looks at the Christmas light and the bustling Christmas market. On the other side of the road, Shinsegae fights Lotte on Christmas decorations and sales. Kibum leans his head on Jinki’s and Jinki shivers at the contact.

“Two years ago, my father took me to this market. I haven’t been here since he was killed in a traffic accident on the 25th,” he says and sighs a little. Jinki blows on his cup and takes a sip of it.

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable,” he says. He’s gotten better at dealing with Kibum’s emotions. It’s his own that are scaring him slightly. He can deal with those the rest of the year, however. This is Kibum’s time and he’s here entirely for Kibum anyway. Kibum closes his eyes and nods, the action messing up Jinki’s hair a little. Jinki just stays put.

In the last 15 days, Jinki has taken a liking to Kibum he shouldn’t have. The way his heart speeds up is proof enough but even when he’s alone Jinki can’t help but thinking of Kibum. This is what he had expected last year to be but he’s happy it wasn’t. Last year he wouldn’t have been able to deal with everything, but this year it’s easier. Well, as easy as it gets because at the end of the day, every time Jinki goes to his midnight cafés, he realizes that saying goodbye will only be harder this time around.

“It’s okay,” Kibum says. “I should probably talk about it. Grandma told me to stop isolating myself. It was her last wish before she died last year. That I started finding friends and started living life.” There’s a brief pause before he continues. “It’s silly, isn’t it?”

Jinki shakes his head and forces Kibum to lift his. They look at each other. Jinki has a serious expression on his face as he answers.

“Not at all.”

Kibum scuffs his feet against the gravel and looks to the ground.

“What a sad topic for Christmas, though,” he says and tries to stir the conversation from the death of his father and grandmother and towards something more superficial. Jinki leans back against the back and squeezes Kibum’s glove-clad hand.

“It’s okay. I don’t really mind.”

Kibum turns around with a grateful smile.

“It must be fate that led me to you, wasn’t it?” he asks and Jinki widens his eyes in panic. Then he shakes his head frantically and it causes Kibum to laugh. “Don’t worry, I didn’t mean it as a bad thing!”

He pushes Jinki’s shoulder lightly and Jinki yelps when he has to place a hand on the bench to keep himself from tipping over. Kibum only laughs louder but the conversation has made something lighter between them. It’s like they have grown that much closer in a time frame that should be impossible.

Jinki pushes Kibum back and it starts a small fight between them until Kibum stands up and takes a few steps away. Jinki gets up as well and lunges towards Kibum that only starts running away. They end up back at the market, fewer people donning the streets now that it’s later. The mulled wine stand, however, is only getting more crowded. A couple of teenagers, snicker to their left and pushes each other around in a small group. Kibum cranes his neck to look at what has got them so giddy and Jinki frowns and tries to pull Kibum away.

“Hey, look, it’s a mistletoe!” Kibum says and Jinki stops in his track when he realizes that there are mistletoes hung on the lines above their heads and that they’re standing right below one. Kibum wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Jinki’s heart speeds up.

“Don’t be stupid,” he says and looks around. Kibum laughs.

“Are you scared?” he asks and Jinki turns back to him with an incredulous look.

“Yeah,” he says like it’s logical and Kibum snickers. “Who would want to kiss you?”

His reply has Kibum choking on saliva and Jinki laughs when he runs away while Kibum charges after him. People look at them like they’re stupid and immature but in this moment, there is nothing Jinki wants to feel more than this free together with Kibum. And Kibum’s laughter only makes it better.

They end up in Kibum’s living room, a Christmas movie playing on the TV but none of them is watching. Kibum is running his hands through Jinki’s hair and Jinki is contemplating telling Kibum he won’t be there for New Years.

“Hey,” Kibum says and pulls a little on Jinki’s hair. Jinki winces and sits up instead of lying down. “Did you mean it when you said you were scared at the market?”

Jinki blinks a little while he thinks back to the market. He tilts his head slightly before he shrugs a little.

“I don’t like getting insulted publicly and you never know what those drunk men at the mulled wine stand would do to a gay couple.”

Only when he has said the words does he realize what they sound like.

“I mean …” he tries but Kibum nods a little and it interrupts Jinki’s sentence and provokes him into silence.

“So if I told you I stole a piece of mistletoe and brought it back here, would you kiss me?”

Jinki keeps quiet as he thinks over the scenario. His heart is screaming yes, the blood pumping loudly in his veins and the butterflies in his stomach making it nearly impossible to think, but he doesn’t know what to tell Kibum. First of all, he can’t imagine Kibum stealing a piece of mistletoe but more importantly, he can’t imagine Kibum wanting to kiss him. Jinki shrugs a little and looks at the couch where he finds a loose thread in the lining and starts pulling at it.

“Stop ruining my couch,” Kibum says offhandedly and Jinki looks up to get eye contact with him. In his hand is a piece of mistletoe and as Kibum lifts it above their heads he sends Jinki a gentle smile, nervousness shining in his eyes.

“Whoops, looks like we’re under the mistletoe. Now you’ll have to kiss me. Nobody is going to insult you publicly or beat you to a pulp.”

Jinki blinks a couple of times, lets his gaze from the mistletoe to Kibum’s face and back to the mistletoe before it once again lands on Kibum’s face. He swallows the lump in his throat before he scoots a little closer. Jinki can feel his hands shake when he leans closer to Kibum and as their lips meet and his eyes close it’s like a small firework explodes in his mind. Kibum’s lips are chapped from the cold, slightly rough, but they move in tandem with Jinki’s like they were created to do this. It’s soft and gentle, experimental but it fits so perfectly together that neither of them apply more pressure or changes position at all. It isn’t until Kibum wraps his arms around Jinki’s neck and the mistletoe in his hand pricks Jinki’s nape that Jinki pulls away from the kiss.

“Auch,” he says and Kibum chuckles a little when he realizes it’s the mistletoe. The plant is placed on the coffee table before he puts his arms on Jinki’s shoulders again and they kiss once more.

“Who would’ve known,” Kibum says as they lie in Kibum’s one-man bed. “That I would end up liking you in 15 days.”

Jinki yawns a little and sends him a soft smile.

“I like you too,” he says and Kibum hits his chest lightly.

“Let me finish, you jerk.”

Jinki just snorts but stays silent. Kibum never elaborates on his confession but Jinki doesn’t need it to know Kibum likes him as much as he likes Kibum.

✕✕✕

When Kibum wakes up the next morning, Jinki pretends to be asleep. It isn’t until Kibum has left the bedroom and closed the door softly behind him before Jinki opens his eyes and exhales heavily. This is not good. As much as he likes Kibum and as fond of Kibum as he truly is, this is a mess. Jonghyun’s voice swims in his head as it repeats “falling in love with humans is not recommended” and Minho’s “seeing loved ones hurting and then seeing them move on, it’s evil” is an addictive jingle that is causing thoughts Jinki thought he had left behind when he jumped in front of the train to rise again.

He stares at the wooden ceiling. He needs to tell Kibum that he’ll be gone by the end of December 25th because he can’t just leave, but the conversation will undoubtedly bring him to explain why that is and Jinki doesn’t have any good excuse. If he says he’s moving, Kibum will just ask him if they can text but Jinki doesn’t have a cell phone when he’s at HQ and there’s no internet to reach Earth.

There will be no communication whatsoever and the only thing Jinki can really think of to explain that is to explain to Kibum that he’s an angel. That, however, leaves other problems in its wake because there’s no way he can prove he’s an angel without his wings and there’s no reason for Kibum to believe him. That is also going against the laws and the basics of being an angel and Jinki doesn’t really know what kind of consequences it will have.

Worst of all, however, is the fact that the news of his departure will undoubtedly make Kibum sad and that will end up giving him a warning. Jinki is sure that he doesn’t want to go downstairs, though, not when he has experienced what it’s like to be a Christmas Angel.

Kibum enters 30 minutes later and Jinki fakes a yawn as the bed dips. Kibum’s hand is soft against the skin on Jinki’s shoulder when he gently shakes him and Jinki blinks lazily towards Kibum.

“Good morning,” Kibum whispers and leans down to kiss Jinki’s forehead. Jinki feels his stomach lurch with nervousness and it’s stupid, really.

“Morning,” he mumbles and Kibum sends him a smile.

“I made breakfast and it’s nothing big but … I don’t want to eat alone.”

There’s a vulnerability to his voice that has Jinki’s heart swell with care and his chest constrict with fear of betraying the one before him.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Jinki whispers and Kibum nods a little again before he kisses Jinki’s lips once.

As he gets off the bed and walks into the living room again, Jinki lets a hand through his hair. They need to have this conversation and they need to have it before December 25th. It’s just so unbearably difficult to say. 45 seconds later Jinki climbs out of bed and stretches his tired limps before he joins Kibum in the kitchen. The radio is playing softly in the background, old Christmas jingles filling the small room. On the table is sliced apples and egg sandwiches. Kibum is dressed in his robe with his feet propped up on the chair as well as he s to an apple. Jinki sends him a soft smile.

The sight makes his heart ache with love and he wishes he could wake up to this the rest of his life. There is something so inherently innocent over Kibum the way he sits like that. Jinki kind of wishes they would have met before he took his own life. The thought clouds his mind for a few seconds and his smile drops. Kibum tilts his head slightly in question, having detected the change in Jinki’s mood. Jinki just waves it away, though, as he sits down and reaches towards an egg sandwich.

They eat in comfortable silence. The wall clock ticks away, counting seconds before they’ll have to depart again and Jinki tries to drown out the sound. He doesn’t succeed and Kibum lets his feet slip to the floor so he can stand and sit down in Jinki’s lap instead.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks softly and Jinki looks up. Kibum’s hands rest on Jinki’s shoulders and Jinki puts his sandwich down so he can circle Kibum’s midsection.

“You,” he says truthfully. Kibum chuckles a little.

“That’s so cliché,” he says and Jinki nods.

“Well, you make me want to be cliché. Our love story should be a romantic cliché.”

This has Kibum laughing out loud and he connects their foreheads. Kibum’s warm breath has Jinki’s hitching and Kibum just sends him a smile when he finishes laughing.

“We could be a romantic Christmas movie,” he says in a whisper and Jinki nods.

“We’d be a better love story than Love Actually,” Jinki replies in a whisper. Kibum snorts.

“Is that really the best you got?” he asks and Jinki shrugs in reply. Kibum pulls away to kiss him and Jinki tightens his hold on Kibum. Their kiss is everything Jinki wishes for and more and the emotions between them create static electricity. When their kiss breaks in all its sweetness Jinki squeezes Kibum’s side and Kibum squirms out of his grip so he can stand.

“You should finish your breakfast,” he says with a smile and Jinki reaches out towards him to get him back into his lap. Kibum doesn’t sit down, however. Instead he takes Jinki’s hand and laces their fingers. As he sits down on his chair opposite of Jinki, their linked hands rest on the table between them. Kibum keeps eating apples and Jinki continues on with his egg sandwich, comfortable silence only broken by the scratchy radio.

✕✕✕

“Kibum,” Jinki says and Kibum hums. Kibum is assembling a particularly complicated paper heart and Jinki sits down on the floor in front of him so he can gain his attention. The way Kibum’s tongue is peeking out from the corner of his lips in concentration makes him adorable and Jinki can’t stop the smile that flits over his lips. Then he remembers the conversation they need to have and it slips away again. “We need to talk.”

Kibum looks up when he manages to get the slip of paper right.

“About what?” he asks with clear confusion. It’s cute, really, the way Kibum is so unsuspecting this time around when he’s lost people the past two years in December. Jinki reasons he has needed a place where he could just be him, a now he could live in without worrying about the future and without grieving the past. But Jinki can’t give him that.

“I need to go when Christmas ends.”

The silence that follows his words is stifling. Kibum shifts in his position and puts the heart down as he stares at Jinki.

“What do you mean go?” he asks. A mask is slipping over his features again, just like it had the first Christmas when Jinki had followed Kibum to the hospital to meet his sick grandmother.

“It’s really hard to explain,” Jinki says in a small voice. Kibum just looks at him with a blank stare.

“Are you sick? Do you only have 4 days to live in so you’ll leave me like everybody else have on Christmas?”

Jinki shakes his head.

“No, it’s … Kibum, please don’t withdraw from me.”

Jinki begs and Kibum scoots further away from him so he can rest against the wall.

“Why would you even say such ridiculous stuff?” he asks and Jinki sighs.

“This is just … I can’t really tell you these things…”

Kibum raises an eyebrow.

“You’re going to think I’m insane.”

“I already do,” Kibum says coldly and rises from his seat on the floor. Jinki scrambles after him when Kibum sits down on the couch instead. “Why are you going to leave me?”

“Because…” Jinki takes a deep breath. “I’m-already-sort-of-kind-of-dead.”

Kibum blinks confused and Jinki takes another deep breath so he can repeat the sentence slower. Kibum just continues blinking like Jinki is an idiot. Well, he guesses he is, because this was never meant to be this difficult and they were never meant to actually fall in love but here they are anyway.

“You’re already sort of kind of dead?” Kibum repeats in disbelief. “What the is that supposed to mean? I’m pretty sure you weren’t cold and had fangs last time we kissed and I’m also pretty sure you haven’t eaten my brain yet.”

Jinki exhales shakily.

“No, it’s … I’m an angel.”

He feels a shiver run down his spine that has nothing to do with Kibum or the incredulous stare he’s sending him. It feels like he’s being watched by a deity which he probably is, considering he just revealed his real identity to a human that is still very much alive. Kibum bursts out in laughter then.

“Oh, right. I get it. You have someone else, don't you? You’re married or something like that. I’m just your sidehoe, am I not? After Christmas, you have to go back to wherever you’re living and you don’t want to bring me because that would mess up your marriage and your already so convenient life. So, you’re coming back next year for more Christmas romance or what?”

Jinki widens his eyes in confusion.

“What are you on about?” he asks.

“What am I on about?” Kibum’s voice pitches as he puts emphasis on 'I' and Jinki winces slightly. “You’re the one trying to excuse your ty absence with being an angel! Angels don’t exist Jinki! C’mon, are you going to tell me my father has been watching over me from heaven, because that’s some cruel . No wait, I don’t want to hear it. you. everything you’ve brought with you.”

“Kibum,” Jinki tries but Kibum glares at him and Jinki stands from the couch. He takes a few steps back while Kibum rises and forces him from the living room to the hall way and out the front door.

“I don’t want to ever see you again,” he sneers and slams the door. Jinki blinks. There are tears collecting in his eyes and he doesn’t know how to mend all of this before Christmas is over. Jinki has ed up real bad. When he turns around he walks directly into Luna and she tilts her head with a sad gaze.

“Not good,” she says and hands Jinki a slip of paper. The moment he takes it, it bursts into flames and leaves a red scar on his palm. “Warning number 1. Fix it before your privileges are taken from you.”

Jinki stares at the scar.

“But how am I going to fix it?” he asks and Luna raises an eyebrow.

“Ask Kibum.”

She walks towards the stairs but instead of going down, she takes the stairs up. Jinki frowns and turns back to the closed front door.

A/N

Trouble in paradise. uwu I know it's a little mean to end it here, but what are cliffhangers, lmao. 

(Yes, yes, there'll be more, this is not the end. There'll be a third Christmas.)