The steady tick tock of the clock on the wall above my head, where I lay still under my satin sheets, was almost unbearable. The overall thought of what was to happen next had already taken hold, clutching at my mind as well as my heart, and I felt myself tensing and resisting a small squirm as I waited the usual hand that would creep up along my leg and make its way up to my shoulder, where it would gently attempt to wake me up. Though, I was awake every time, and some part of me believed that the owner of this hand knew it.
     As I lay there, eyes squeezed shut, telling myself over and over that the past several nights ever since my arrival to London were none other than a dream, I could already hear the ticking of the clock slow before drawing to a stop, and almost instantaneously a slim hand placed itself on the calf of my leg, nothing but a sheet separating our skin, and make its way up. My breath caught in my throat, and this time I allowed my eyes to fly open, telling myself that it had been my imagination. I don't know why I wanted it to be so badly. It wasn't as if I hated the man who appeared to me every night.
     My adoptive cousin--as I was adopted into the family--called him Sebastian. Supposedly, he was a butler of the manor. But, I was nowhere near that daft, especially with the occurrences of the past several days of my stay. Occurrences that I was told, of course, to pretend never happened, which was awfully difficult to do; especially when I was treated as an object to toy with whenever we had any strange and unusual guests--which tended to anger Ciel, of course. And Sebastian.
     "This is only a dream," I murmured by the time the hand made it up to my shoulder, and I stared, wide-eyed as Sebastian's red eyes hovered over mine. Even in the darkness I could make out his sly smile, which made me shudder before I let out a small gasp as I was pulled into a sitting position. I kept my eyes on his, making a noise of distress before saying, "This is my dream. I don't want you in it."
     "You say it every night, _____," he said, British accent thick and sweet, voice as slick as ever, and he bent down so his face was level as mine, lifting a hand to my face and my jawline. "And yet, you know I'm only here because you desire me to be." When I opened my mouth to--untruthfully--deny it, he pressed a finger to my lips, shaking his head. "Now now, _____, I hope you weren't planning on lying to me." When I said nothing, he lowered his finger, dropping that hand to my thigh--still covered by my sheet--and his other hand remained on my face, where it just barely brushed against my cheek, and I shuddered violently when I realized that I was unable to take my eyes off of his. "If it is only a dream, then why do you worry so?"
     That one took me a moment to answer, and though I wanted so badly to look away, I couldn't find myself able to. "If you, truly, know me that well--and if this actually is a dream--then you know the answer to that just as well as I do."
     He lowered his hand from my face, and his head tilted ever so slightly. "I want to hear you say it."
     As much as I wanted to tell him to piss off, I merely sighed and admitted, "It's because I, truly, desire you. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I didn't understand why he was just conversing with me. Normally, in such dreams, he did much more. He would taunt me; peel me down until I felt vulnerable and wanton; make me desire him even more so than I already did. And yet, there he was, simply conversing. Of course, I always questioned myself as to whether these were all dreams or not, but then I would remind myself how things suddenly out at some point and I woke up in my bed as if nothing had ever happened. And Sebastian never approached me with such ideas whenever I was up and awake.
     "Yes, _____," Sebastian was crooning, and before I could react he was sitting on my bed beside me, my sheets suddenly thrown off of me to reveal them bare with the slightest cover from the top of my nightgown as I gaped at him, and his leg pressed against mine as he took my chin in one of his hands and leaned in until his lips were brushing against mine as he spoke, "that is exactly what I wanted to hear."
     I barely had time to do more than widen my eyes before his lips were completely on my own, his other hand wrapped absently around my wrist, as I sat there, shocked. Sure, all of the other times were definitely far more sensual, but he hardly did more than brushing his body against mine--and we certainly never actually kissed. But, before I knew it, my eyes found themselves closing, and my lips parted just the slightest bit as I responded to his kiss, a sliver of bliss crawling through the very pits of my body. Though I wanted to wrap my arms around the man's neck, I didn't want to chance him suddenly disappearing and finding myself waking up to--yet again--another dream.
     Suddenly, I was being gently pushed back onto my pillow, and Sebastian was on his side beside me, lips still on mine, one hand tangled in my hair as the other rested lightly on my thigh. My body twitched at every idea I was suddenly receiving, and I resisted the temptation to push him off or grab his hand and put it somewhere much closer to the pooling heat I that was growing just between-
     I let out a gasp as I lurched upright from my bed, flinching at the bright sunlight that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and gasped when I realized that my nightgown was well above my waist, my sheets on the ground, and I quickly yanked the fabric of my gown down as I looked around, blurred vision slowly settling as my body attempted to finish waking up, and I in a sharp breath when I realized that I was alone. It was, yet again, just another dream.
 

*        *        *
 

     Just beyond _____'s bedroom door, which was cracked open, Sebastian was peeking through, standing a fraction away so he could swiftly step back in case looked upon, and as the girl within it moaned to herself and dropped her head back on her pillow in a seeming expression of defeat, a small smile lit his features before he turned and walked down the hall.