Twenty Six

REDEMPTION

Joy takes those few doubtful steps towards him. He holds her hand, surprising her. He pulls her slightly making her sit beside him.

"God Forbid! What the hell were you..." Then he realizes from where and how her thoughts are valid. "Oh yeah...I guess You've every reason to think that..." He feels dizzy and...guilty.

Joy frowns slightly.  He sounds ashamed ... ??

He turns his head towards her. She is still gazing at the white wall in front of her, and thinking about something. He cannot see her face clearly from that angle. His vision is blurry. It took him a lot of time and extra caution to get to her room...

"Hey! Hey! Look at me!!" He grabs her face with his hands and Joy jumps out of her thoughts and turns right. 

Namjoon narrows his eyes to keep focus, "Yaah! Why can't I see you?!" He looks around, "Where is the light...?"

Joy quickly refuses, "No! Aera is sleeping....she will wake up."

He nods, "Oh yeah... so let's talk like this..."

Alright, she was not expecting this...she decides to let him speak and not interrupt.

 He leans forward with his shoulders slumped, "You know...today your brother came to my office after working hours...He said that he needed my help to..." He gulps painfully, "...to make Ren talk or at least cry...She had not reacted since that day..." He rubs his eyes, " So I went to meet her..."

"You know...not even in my wildest nightmare, in my worst thoughts, I saw her in such miserable condition..." His eyes are glassy and far-fetched. "I've never ever wished anything like that..." His mumbling goes on. "When I met her, it was like all her sorrows burst out and...and she cried...she cried out..." Namjoon begins to sob.

Joy has already guessed what must have happened but it is very different hearing about it from him. Last time she heard him talking was when they were 'courting'. Though it was his plan, she knows that whatever he had ever said was true. No matter what his intentions were, Namjoon never lies...

"We hugged and cried...you know how it felt??... It felt like heaven... but burning like hell..." He coughs out.

Joy quickly brings the glass to him and he takes few gulps. 

He looks at her again, "I left after she fell asleep from crying...I really miss her you know...Sometimes I wonder how I'd spent 5 years without talking to her... but today when I met her closely, I-I could not figure out what I was feeling, what I was supposed to feel...I just hugged her back tightly and sobbed for hours..." He is lost in his thoughts.

Though he is drunk, his words are lucid. Not like before...

Joy can understand it must have been a very tough day for him. And this is his way of releasing his frustration and sadness. She appreciates that he is thoughtful about her condition and Aera, though he could have called her to his room...

"I-I...needed to talk to someone..." He speaks in such a tone that it breaks Joy's heart. How much in pain this man is??

"It's alright...You can talk to me anytime about anything..." Joy replies for the first time.

The assurance and kindness in her eyes and voice make Namjoon shake his head, "Well...at least it is not pity..."

"Why will I pity you?" Joy frowns.

Namjoon gazes at her face and sighs, "Cuz that is the only empathy I've ever got other than hatred, mocking and humiliation..."

"No! That is not true! There are people who respects you for your hard work and honesty. Your employees and business partners..." To which Namjoon snorts...

" Okay...may be some of them are not...but you cannot say all of them!! Then there is Noel aunty who loves you like a son...yes I know she is angry with you but isn't that what a mother does?? Then there is..." She gulps and tries to sound normal, "Irene unni who may have felt anything but not those 'things' you just mentioned...And..." She points out, "Aera!! You are may be her favourite person in the world!!" She finishes with a smile.

"And you...? What about you...?" Namjoon looks at her intensely.

She tries to avoid the question, "Ummm...it is getting very late. 1 a.m. now!! Let me help you get back..." She stands up but Namjoon holds back her hand. 

She freezes.

"I don't want to...It's cold in there..." He shudders, "I don't want to be alone tonight...too many memories...too many thoughts are plaguing...I am sorry but can I..." He avoids her eyes and  Joy is sure that the faint pink on his cheeks is not because of alcohol.

"You want to sleep here?!'" She asks incredulously.

He finds the floor more interesting than answering her.

Joy has to stop herself from pulling his cheeks. He looks so adorable with the blush...

"Alright..." She softly replies.

His head snaps back at her in awe.

She smiles, "You stay in this side and I can...sleep in the middle...?" She asks nonchalantly but her heart is tattooing against her chest. She really hopes he'll not take it with any double meaning. Not that it has any...

He looks at the bed and shrugs, "Okay." He waits for her to get in the middle.

Joy gets an extra blanket and climbs up slowly and sits with her back against the head board. Namjoon puts his legs on the bed and lies down. 

She spreads the blanket and tucks him in. Namjoon keeps staring at her. 

She pretends to be unaffected and lies down. She fears Namjoon may hear her heartbeats. It is the first time she is lying beside a man... HER man...?? She blushes at the thought.

She jumps out of her thoughts by a sudden yet gentle patting. She looks at Namjoon who is caressing her shoulder.

"This is...nice..." He mumbles.

This is nice, weird and...cute in a way?? What is he doing?! Joy blinks.

There is a calm expression on his face and Joy can swear it is the most relaxed look he has worn in months.

He stops patting her shoulder and hesitates. She is already confused and delighted with his action when she notices what he is staring at.  

"How...how was the check-up?" He murmurs.

Now for people who know about them may find his question astounding. But for Joy, it is not uncommon. Even though Namjoon has shown no 'visible' interest in her pregnancy, he is 'kind enough' to ask about her health and the baby's. He still has never directly addressed the child and enquires like, "How was the check-up?" or "Are you doing well?", etc...

The first time, he asked how she was doing, was just after few days she informed him of her pregnancy and her decision to keep it. She remembered that she was so shocked that she kept gawking at him with open. But then he began to ask about her health, almost regularly and Joy kept him updated with details. She noticed that he actually listened to her with importance. He has never kept any restriction on her expenses even before her pregnancy and now as well. But she never uses more than required. 

So one can say he actually takes care of his responsibilities well, though only materialistically and financially...

"I mean...today..." He does not know how to put this.

"Ummm...yes, Everything is fine and I have crossed my second trimester so in some more or less 3 months..." Her voice trails off.

Namjoon looks back at her bump and Joy can bet that his lips curve upwards a bit.

"Ren...she saw and..." He begins again.

"I had no idea she would be there...I am sorry..." She whispers remorsefully.

"Yeah...she...she pushed you...were you hurt?" He cannot inform her about Irene's infertility. She is already feeling low for something she had no hand in and she will feel devastated with the news. He is dumbfounded with his thoughts that he is actually thinking about Joy's health rather than Irene's sorrows?! Is it because he is drunk?! Then how can he think so keenly....?!

"I...I saw a small tombstone while coming out of the mansion..." He blurts out his reasoning loud and then swears under his breathe. He got scared observing that tiny memoire, he does not want that for... He shakes his head.

"A tombstone...?" Joy realizes who it must have belonged to and she subconsciously rubs her bump. "Must be the baby's..." she chokes out. Her niece...

Namjoon wants to smack himself!! Here he is hiding such important fact thinking about her well-being and there he is depressing her with such things.

"Umm...yes...Were you hurt?" He tries to change the subject.

"No...Jimin-sshi caught me in time..." She sniffs.

He nods slightly. He will thank him later...

Joy sighs deeply. She really misses her oppa. How tough it must have been for him? Them?...

She feels a slight nudge at her face. She turns to find Namjoon very close to her, "Wha..?!" She stammers.

"You smell...different...why...?" He breathes in the scent of her hair and then presses his nose on her soft cheek.

Joy has no idea how to respond to that...

"More warmer...like flowers and freshly baked goods...more like home..." He mumbles and gradually blackouts.

She peeks at the man beside her. His nose is still poking her cheek softly and his one hand is on her bump...?! Woah!! When did he put his hand on her bump?! IT IS THE FIRST TIME!!! She closes with her hand to prevent her squeal. His other hand is...on her head. 

Joy tries to keep her excitement and glee in control. She is tired and needs to sleep. She closes her eyes with the wish that she can wake up to this as a reality, not any beautiful, yet baseless dream...  

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nuz123
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Almost a whole year of this story!!!
I know, I know...I said there will be no more chapters...
But then I thought why not celebrate 1 yr of this story with a bonus?
So here it is!! I hope everyone will like it! Enjoy :D

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Irreplaceable_hjj_ #1
Chapter 38: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1281610/38'>Thirty Eight</a></span>
Idk ...whether to laugh or cry or be angry at Namjoon's phrase - 'old man' - Ajusshi
Irreplaceable_hjj_ #2
Chapter 29: Awwwwww ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ•́ ‿ ,•̀ Namjoon and Aera moments are sooo cute
Irreplaceable_hjj_ #3
Chapter 27: It is past 10 am ...great , he is late (≧▽≦)
Irreplaceable_hjj_ #4
Chapter 23: Namjoon feeding the soup to Aera, wiping and gifting her some colour pens is the cutest one 😍🥰😩
zerotoblack
#5
Chapter 58: I don't know how many times I've read this already now but one thing I am sure of is that I am not getting sick of reading this. Still one of the best stories out there.
Ode2kdrama #6
Hoping to get an update on the anniversary date!!! This is one of my favorite story in AFF.
eatPie
#7
Chapter 40: re-read this again and i just remembered how irl namjoon loves to talk with himself ^^ ah, so cute
Lane0910 #8
Thank you authornim! Such a wonderful story and great casting! Re-reading again ?
Charu2791 #9
Chapter 58: I read this amazing story in one go. I can't quit smiling for a single minute.
Mariam4 #10
This is probably some of the most amazing things I've read in a while !! Loved Namjoon and Sooyoung's character development so much ❤️ Thank you for this amazing read !! Hope you are keeping safe love xx