新年快樂~!

Happy Chinese New Year~!

Or Happy Lunar New Year~!

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Tao

Tao woke early, barely dawn according to his inner clock. He didn't feel any more rested than before. His eyes throbbed with dull pain, and his legs felt heavy. An uncomfortable feeling was also growing in his stomach, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep. He listened for sounds of breathing, but it was silent. Lay wasn't in his bunk. He usually only stayed up until three.

Tao let out a huff of a laugh. He didn't know what of Lay he could trust anymore.

He had been the closest to him. He had taught him about plants, herbs, medicines, emergency treatments. He had comforted him when Tao hadn't known what else to do. Tao thought that they knew each other well. Like family. Like brothers.

So why did Lay lie? Why did he tell him to keep information away from their unit? Why had he not told him about what the being had said?

Tao rubbed his eyes with his fists and sighed. He had to think. Calmly assess the situation.

He turned for the door, hoping a walk would clear his mind, but he stopped.

Lay wasn't back from wherever he was, and his journals and papers were out in the open, the first beams of sunrise shining on the desk.

Tao had never read Lay's research before, mainly because he didn't understand all the scientific terms or Lay's hurried handwriting. And if it was important, Lay would have just told Tao himself.

But now Tao couldn't trust that he would tell him anything.

Scanning the loose papers, Tao looked for something that he could read. He picked up phrases here and there, like 'Tanacetum vulgare toxicity varies too much' and 'Aconitum plants are as deadly to us as normal humans--don't try this again,' but nothing about the labyrinth or their powers. He would have to look deeper.

A few journals were on the desk, so full of writing and more papers that their bindings could hardly close. If Tao moved anything too much, Lay would know. He poked open one of the less-full journals, the only red one on the desk, and looked at the page it opened to. Spanned across the top was the eldest four's names, divided into columns with their abilities listed underneath. He noticed that seeing in absolute darkness wasn't listed under Baekhyun's column.

Tao turned to the next page and read his own list. His power to rewind time wasn't there. If he had had the power before the point when their memories were taken, Lay would have written it down. Tao could assume that no one knew, and he wanted to keep it that way.

He flipped through the next pages. Notes of their limits, missions, and reports were scrawled down the lines. Tao got through half the entire journal before the format of the writing changed. Instead of short blocks of sentences spaced randomly on the page, the writing became styled with a counting of days at the top and neat entries. He turned to the first record.

Day 1

Decided to start writing about our days here in the military. Suho ge's books called it a 'diary.' The reason... Someone else outside of our unit has to know that we lived. Even if we die namelessly, as traitors, or in the punishment room of the lab, we still existed. If this journal is a chance of someone knowing, then I want to take it.

Tao was surprised. He didn't think that Lay would write something so sentimental. He remembered how he said that he had never thought of escaping the military. He must have started writing a 'diary,' because he thought that they would die before ever living normal lives.

He sighed. Lay was right though.

Tao read the next few entries, mostly about what Lay had done that day, which was mostly which plants he had researched. There were some mission days, but nothing that Tao didn't already know. He kept flipping until he reached a page with a flower sketched at the top.

Day 673

We're dead. I woke up in a white room that lacked walls and a consistent floor. We're subjects in a labyrinth, by beings that call themselves judges. Apparently, we won't die in these 'trials' of ours, even though we're back in the military. They're deciding which of us they're saving, while sending the rest to damnation. They sound like the 'angels' in Suho ge's books, but I didn't think they'd be this cruel.

Suho ge called a campfire, despite the situation. He said he wanted to have one last moment of peace together. He also apologized to us for our deaths as a leader. I hated that he was apologizing, but Tao stopped him by saying that he would break his own code of ethics to throw him across the living room. He also blushed. I should figure out how to do that to him more often (It's adorable).

Tao buried his face in his hands at the recollection, but he also laughed. The campfire really was a moment of peace. Before any trials. Before he and Kai moved on an unauthorized mission. Before Tao had flashes of memories. Before Kris was killed.

He shook his head to clear it and continued reading.

Suho ge asked us how we wanted to die. The question was strange, but then again what else could be strange now that we're walking some trials in a labyrinth to have our existences judged?

Baekhyun said that he wanted to die in a way where he couldn't see anyone's face. Kris ge compared the situation to being in the dark, and he said yes, but that was a lie. What did he mean then, if not in total darkness? I wondered, but I didn't say anything.

The campfire was nice, but there is something that bothers me. The last thing I remember is sitting and relaxing in the warehouse with the others, but there were other images that flashed through my mind. I saw Kris ge and Baekhyun turning into discarnate versions of their powers, and I saw Tao ripping his sanity apart in order to keep the army at bay as we fled into a desert. The emotions and the actions felt real but disconnected, as if someone had cut out the middle of my memories. But when I met up with Tao first then the others, none of them remembered dying. Perhaps they're not memories, but I don't know what to make of them.

Tao stared at the entry. Lay had visions before they had even entered the labyrinth? Tao didn't get visions until he rewound time instead of stopping it at Sugome. There couldn't have been any contradiction to the past while they were in the white rooms, so why had Lay been able to remember their deaths? According to Lay's words, he didn't know either and he doubted them as memories.

Had he really died that way? Tao ripping his sanity apart could only have come from him fast-forwarding time. He must have used that ability on the Yaelumian Allies, which let the rest of his unit escape into a desert. He wondered how he was still sane if that was true. He doubted that time-madness would disappear along with the memories. He wouldn't have fast-forwarded their times until the soldiers' death, would he?

Maybe if Tao kept reading, he would come to answers.

He read through the entry for Kertuk Mountain and the next days after. The days of when Lay had been summoned to heal the General of the Army for Commaner Lang mentioned the resistant plant, the chances of the trials being their memories, possibilities of the beings' intentions, Suho's injuries from punishment, and Kris going missing. Tao braced himself for the next entry.

Day 678

Kris ge is dead. 

The being who said we couldn't die in the labyrinth appeared in our living room and told me. He said that the labyrinth and judges weren't allowed to kill, but factors outside of those two things could change the trials. I wish that I couldn't detect lies,