Tris woke up with the buzzing off her phone. “Hello”, she said in a sleepy voice. “Tris, please dear god, tell me he’s there with you”, Hyungwon said on the other end of the line. “What?”, she asked still dazed. “Kihyun, is Kihyun with you? He didn’t come back to the hotel last night. Minhyuk said he left in a rage”. “He came over last night, but he’s not here with me… oh gosh, hold on”, Tris said before running to the door. She opened the door to find Kihyun sleeping against the wall. “He’s here, I’ll wake him up and send him back”, she said. “Hurry, he keeps doing things that are going to get him into trouble”, Hyungwon said.

Tris couldn’t believe Kihyun really slept outside her door. Tris knelt down. “Kihyun, wake up”, she said shaking him gently. He grabbed her arm while still asleep and held on to it. “Kihyun”, Tris called. Kihyun’s eyes opened and for a moment he didn’t know where he was. “Hey, Hyungwon called and said you need to get back to the hotel ASAP”, Tris said. Kihyun still held onto her arm. She got back up to break free of his grip and took a step inside her apartment. “Tris”, he said with a sleepy voice, “I’m sorry”.

“You need to go Kihyun”, Tris said. He stood up, looked back at Tris with sadness in his eyes, then left. Where did he even want to take her? It’s not like he knows any places here. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t going to go. Monsta X were going back to Korea today and she wouldn’t have to deal with any of it. It was 8:30 am but it felt as if she got no sleep at all. She decided to go back to bed since it was Sunday and she had nothing else to do. She woke up 5 hours later. Well that’s one way to waste a day, she thought. Tris headed out to pick up her mail from the lobby downstairs. She opened the door really slowly, afraid she would find Kihyun on the other side of it. She was relieved when she didn’t.

She did however, find a box. It was a small gift box with a bow on it. Tris picked up the box and went back inside. There was no name or card on it. She opened the lid and gasped. Inside the box were 3 little pink ponies with a note that said, “The first promise I ever made to you… Sorry it’s not the real thing…”. Tris picked up a pony. What was Kihyun trying to do? She placed the pony back and closed the box. She didn’t open it again for the rest of the day. That night, she got a text from Kihyun.

Kihyun: "I am truly sorry for everything. I know I can’t have you, just because I want you. But… right now all I really want is your friendship. And I’m never going to give up on getting that back. So take all the time and space you need. I will never do anything to push you away again. I got that gift for you a while ago. It is not a gift to make up for anything I did yesterday. I just really wanted you to have it so I brought it along with me in the hopes that I would see you again. I thought keeping my promises to you made me a good friend. But I see nowm it doesn’t matter if my promises were kept or not. You did not need pink hair or ponies. All you really needed was me and I failed to give you that. I will not fail you again Tris. Goodnight."

Tris could not bring herself to respond to the message. Is this not what she’s always wanted; for her feelings to be reciprocated.  Except it wasn’t the way she imagined at all. Why was it so complicated? Why did Kihyun feel like a stranger to her? Was she now treating him the way he treated her? Her phoned beeped again. Another text. It was from Hyungwon.

~~~~~~~

Hyungwon: So is there a reason Kihyun sulked the whole plane ride home?

Tris: You don't know?

Hyungwon: Okay i do know... I’m not the best at reading the tones of messages, but you don’t sound too happy either...

Tris: Am I supposed to be happy? Why does he get to choose when or when not to feel a certain way about me?

Hyungwon: Tris…

Hyungwon: He’s loved you for as long as he can remember

Tris: How do you know?

Hyungwon: Because he told me. While I was with you, he told me how he felt.

Tris: Well he should have told me!

Hyungwon: Like you told him?

Tris: That’s not fair and you know it..

Hyungwon: Maybe it’s not fair, but the two of you were exactly the same, too afraid to act on your feelings and see what good that did

Tris: I wasn’t an to him Hyungwon

Hyungwon: Yes he was an , the biggest , but did you ever think about why he acted the way he did? Did you ever think about why he pushed you away?

Tris: There is no reason that justifies him pushing me away.

Hyungwon: I was the reason. You were the reason. We were the reason. You and I being together made him crazy

Tris: He was the one who told