Dependent On You
Description
Breakups are always a messy topic. Some breakups end on good terms while some end on bad terms. Some couples are still able to remain as friends after ending their relationship, while some decide to never contact the person again.
A breakup is the end of a relationship between two people. Sometimes it is a mutual breakup and sometimes, it is a one-sided breakup. Either way, there is still a definite end.
But is it also possible to be unsure whether or not the relationship has ended?
For Song Mina, the man she had been seeing for three years suddenly disappeared from her life without so much as an explanation.
What happens to their relationship? Are they still dating? Are they taking a break? Was she dumped?
Did she drink so much during university that she created an imaginary boyfriend for herself?
Still, life moves on. If his did without her, she should hurry up and move on too, right?
Oh, but sweetheart, if only forgetting someone you were so heavily invested upon was easy.
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Foreword
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Today is May 31, 2015 and the current time is 2:47am. |
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| It’s the 11th of October today and the time right now is 8:09pm It’s hard. It’s been months since we cut off contact and I still don’t find myself getting any better. I didn’t think a breakup would be this hard. Although, in my defense, I don’t even know if we’re broken up. The worst part is that he’s working again at the tattoo place. Changkyun told me he saw him in the store when he walked by one day and unless Changkyun has also gone crazy and is seeing things, I believe him. I found the courage myself to walk by but I didn’t see him in. When I walked towards the back, however, I saw his familiar black car. It was like somebody had punched me in the gut and I remember standing there for a good few minutes before I finally dragged myself home. Should I be asking him about what happened? I know I deserve that much but I’m scared. After all these months of wondering where we went wrong, I’m not quite ready to hear the answer. He’s the cowardly one, not me. If he wanted to break up, he should’ve told me. Instead, he cut me off and disappears for a few months only to show up again as if nothing was wrong. He hasn’t contacted me at all but maybe that’s because I blocked him? He could still come to my apartment if he really wanted. It’s not like I’ve moved anywhere. I think I can get over this. Just give me some more time. |
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| Today is January 27, 2016. The time right now is 12:08pm. I still think about him from time to time and I often find myself avoiding the streets where I know there are tattoo parlours. I’ve also stopped going to our favourite night club because frankly, I don’t have the willpower in myself to see him. It we broke up without any reason and I was left in the dark about it all but I’d like to think he had his own reasons. Some days, though, I wish I got the resolve I needed all these years. The therapy and alcohol doesn’t always help, you know? I think I’m getting better, though. There’s this one guy that I met when I was doing a commercial shoot for the city zoo. He’s so energetic and happy all the time that it makes me wonder if he has any stress at all in his life. He’s got a really cute face and there’s something about his smile that makes me smile along with him. He’s asked me out plenty of times and I’ve turned him down each and every single time. I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now. I don’t think I can handle being in a relationship when my mind is still stuck with him. But each time he shows up at my apartment after work, or at the cafe I frequent, I can’t help but find myself wanting to reach out to him. I don’t know what to do. |
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Characters
Main
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| Shin Hoseok 신호석 |
Song Mina 송민아 |
Lee Minhyuk 이민혁 |
| 93/03/01 | 96/10/15 | 93/11/03 |
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Side
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| Sohn Hyunwoo 손현우 |
Yoo Kihyun 유기현 |
Chae Hyungwon 채형원 |
Lee Jooheon 이주헌 |
Im Changkyun 임창균 |
| 92/06/18 | 93/11/22 | 94/01/15 | 94/10/06 | 96/01/26 |
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Author's Note
Just a quick thanks to anyone who has made it down this far!
This story is very personal to me in the sense that I'm using it as a way to cope with the problems I'm currently dealing with. A lot of the experiences the characters go through will come from things I've personally had to go through. This is a story that I want to publish somewhere just so I know it's out there. It helps me to write out my feelings and this was the best way I could think of. I'm posting it on AFF as of right now but some day in the far future, I'd like to be able to post it elsewhere and if possible, publish it into a book itself.
I want this story to let everyone know, who has gone through a tough breakup, you’re not the only one. It’s hard, I can be one to vouch for that but it does get better. Everybody has their own coping mechanisms and some may be more effective than others but to even take the first step into feeling better- it’s a damn good start.
I've tagged the story as 'angst' because my life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There will be trigger warnings and I'll be sure to rate the chapter if there are any mentions of depression, anxiety, and self-harm.
Still, to all my readers, welcome to the snippet of my life that I've both fantasized, despised, and loved. As much as it is about my own personal life, I will twist and turn it so that it becomes a story that keeps your attention with each and every word. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I will be writing it.
Also, I’ve decided to use Monsta X as the characters because come on, I can’t be the only one who’s getting my heart shaken up by them, right? I mean, just look at them. They’re hot adorable.
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This story is dedicated to the man who tore me apart,
to the man men who came and tried to pick up the pieces,
and to all the others that I've pushed away trying to figure myself out.
c o p y r i g h t © Aquaskys 2017
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