When I think I already forgot everything, they start coming back, one by one like a blunt dagger darts into my heart little by little. It hurts too much and lasts too long that I want it to end quickly unless I would die by feeling painful before losing all my blood.

I realized I was unable to do anything in this state. I should be the one who died 5 years ago  instead of them. I will do everything just to ransom my guilt, even if it requires my life for exchange.