Morning comes again. It was six in the morning when I prepared breakfast. Unlike last night, the dorm’s atmosphere turned into 180 degrees change with only the sound of a metal spoon hitting the pan filled the kitchen as I was making fried rice. The boys were probably still sleeping. The last time I checked, Yugyeom, Bambam, and Youngjae were playing with their games until late night meanwhile the rock music from the room next to me stopped around 05.33 A.M.

I was still trying to calm myself from exploding by distracting myself to prepare their breakfast even though I still mad when a cheerful voice filled the kitchen, greeting me as though he didn’t saw the unpleasant look on my face.

“Good morning my sweetie-pie,”

I glanced at him annoyedly. He put down the stuff he brought to the table and beamed at me.

“So, how was your first day?”

I pretended to ignore him and began plating the fried rice. But when I saw him took a spoonful of the fried rice I made, unbothered by the look on my face which I believed everybody could understand how I was feeling, I scowled at him.

“Why can’t I stay at another place?” I faced him, both of my hands were on my hips.

He paused from eating his fried rice and eyed me innocently. “Aren’t we done talking about it?”

“No! You left before I could even speak any words!” I snapped at him.

He put the spoon on the table and made a gesture to calm me. “Calm down, didn’t I tell you about it in our conversation before we made a deal?”

I looked at him in disbelief. My head tried to recall the conversation I had with him when he persuaded me to accept his offer.

Besides that, don't you miss him? Do you ever think of living together with him?

God. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, closing my eyes as I tried to calm my emotion down. He did tell me about it, but I was too focused on the possibilities if I work with him and slip the fact that I need to live under one roof with him.

“What happened? Did the boys do something bad to you?” the manager asked again, only now he sounded concerned. “Did you talk to him?”

I pressed my lips tightly, diverting my attention to the dishes.

“You didn’t talk to him?” he asked again, his voice raised a notch higher when he saw my zero reaction as he looked at me widened eyes. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you two? You hadn’t met him for one year. Now let me ask you, how many times both of you talked via phone?”

Now the table had turned as the manager eyed me suspiciously. I was just standing uncomfortably, trying to figure out how I could dodge his question and still avoiding his eyes because I knew he’d find the answer through my flickered eyes.

“Once a week?”

I suddenly felt contempt by his conjecture, but on another side, I want to laugh because he started off with a low numeral. Maybe he perceived my relationship with my secret husband as a bad one. I won’t deny it anyway. The moment after he said those vows in our wedding day, I knew where this marriage would take us. I knew we’d grow apart, but yet we still hold onto this marriage for the sake of our parents.

“Once a month?” the manager said again. I chomped down on my bottom lip when he continued, “Don’t tell me he never calls you?”

“We talked once in a while when they had a concert there,” I tried to stand up for myself, my voice barely convince him.

One week after the marriage, I got accepted by a big company in Thailand. I was aware of the fact that as the pillar of the family, I need to earn money for a living. My Father and Mother passed away when I was eight. Since then, I need to carry the parent and sister roles for my little brother and sister. As though the twins were independent and never whine to compelled me to buy something as another kid in their age would do, I was still responsible for them. I need to take care of them, mainly financially, thus made me accepted the job offer. And before I was able to establish the foundation of this marriage I left everything behind, including my husband.

The first week of my arrival, he’d call or text me a simple question about my current condition. But after two weeks, one month to another month, he disappeared without a trace. The last time I was in contact with him was when he had a concert in Thailand, and it was because I texted him first. I always keep in my mind that this marriage was a secret to everybody and no need for me to get so earnest about it.

When I looked up, the manager shook his head in disbelief and sighed. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but you can’t act like you are stranger. Sooner or later, s will find out about it, before that happen you both need to settle your problem first. Speak to him, discuss it together, he’s your husband for Pete’s sake!”

I rushed to him and hushed him. “Be quiet, they might hear you!”

He looked at me for a few seconds before exhaled deeply. “You know, the moment his parents decided to let me know about your marriage, that means they want me to look after the two of you, so I have a responsibility to keep an eye to you both. Besides that, I know that you still regret your decision for giving up on your dream, so I don’t want you to regret your decision for this marriage either.”

I just stared down at the white