What was wrong with you?

You quickly climb down the stairs and barrel out of the building.

Krystal wanted to talk with you. You were just giving up an opportunity. And for what?

You didn’t know.

Okay, well you did know. You were doing this protect yourself because deep down you felt insecure about any potential of a future in which Krystal freaking Jung and you could be anything. You felt scared because you already thought you might be catching feelings. Her being pretty did not help. You didn’t want to sound shallow, but there it was. She was everything you ever wanted—wealthy, gorgeous, and popular. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be her or wanted her. Regardless, you knew you admired her and wanted to get to know her better. But you couldn’t chase her because you knew you’d do all the chasing.

In what world would Krystal ever want you enough to run after you?

Pipe dreams.

You wanted her to reach out and fight for you. Which, ironically, was what she did in her apartment, but you pushed that away. You guessed you needed her to desperately call for you, to your ego and lock away your insecurities about your self worth.

In the back of your mind, you knew this wasn’t healthy.

But who cares?

“Ow!”

You trip and fall flat on your face, skinning your knuckles sharply. You’d been walking so furiously you completely missed the curb and smashed into the pavement. Gingerly, you roll over onto your back and sit up. Luckily, there were no cars in the street at the time. Groaning, you pull yourself to your feet, feeling oddly stiff.

Sleeping while cuddling was hard.

No, you mustn’t think about that.

“Man,” you inwardly sigh, looking at your bloody palms.

What a perfect metaphor for your situation. You had been too busy caught up in your head when you fell off the edge of the sidewalk and hurt yourself. If you became friends with Krystal, the worst case scenario would be that she’d drop you when she found another boyfriend or group of friends and your feelings would get hurt. But, you’d have had some time with her. Would that be worth the pain in the end? Were you willing to live in the moment and worry about the fall later? What about the best case scenario? You quickly cut off that train of thought. You couldn’t believe in whatever future your pathetic daydreams could conjure up. It would be better to set the bar low so you wouldn’t be disappointed.

You morosely turn your hands over and over, picking out tiny bits of gravel. On the other hand, no pun intended, you think wryly, you’ve always lived life too carefully. You didn’t trust people. You knew this fear, that people didn’t really like you and would never like you, was your biggest flaw. For that reason, you didn’t put yourself out there and try to make friends. And people don’t try that hard for strangers. Victoria was the exception. She