"I was left with no choices."

I sigh.

"I think you've made up your mind, right?"

I nodded.

"Its my dream, and I can't leave it behind. Even I feel so hard, this is what leads me to the future."

"I won't stop you."

 

I turn around, looking at her side figure. Her shoulders start to sink inwards, shuddering.

"Let's break up."

Those words came out from her own mouth. I'm not even surprise.

"Yes, we should."

She turns around and smile. I could sense the atmosphere turns rough.

"We did what couple's do. Going on a date, gave advice, fight, shout, trying to be a better person for ourselves and towards each other. There's nothing to be left out."

"You make it sounds bad."

She let out a small giggle. I know she's trying to comfort me.

She stops giggling, she stops smiling.

"Let's break up."

And all that we could hear were the sounds of the wind.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"So Min-ah, have you met Hyun Joong?"

 

My heart just drop upon hearing his name. Feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff just few steps away from falling.

"What do you mean by met?"

My mum sits next to me. I tried to act coolly by focusing my eyes on the television.

"I met him last week while doing my checkup’s.”

I tried controlling my breath and the trembles of my fingers.

"Then, you bumped into him? Is it?"

"Not just bumped into him.He’s the doctor that checked me. He told me he's in the last year of intern. And will be an official doctor there."

I close my eyes few times trying to calm myself. Just hearing his name makes my heart fluster and all the vein rushing trough my whole body. I felt like all my cell neuron starts to react into something that I've been buried over for years.

"He is still single."

I smirk.

"And what does that have anything to do with me?"

"Why not both of you reconnect again. This time, more serious. You’re not that young sweetie."

"Eomma, I don't want to talk about this."

 

“You said you wanted to have a career before marriage, Eomma, Appa respected you. And now, you already have it, why not pursue into marriage?"

"I'm not ready.”

"In that case,  get back with him."

I get annoyed. My heart still hurts, and felt like there's no cure. Get back with him, no. I didn't want neither of us to get hurt again.

 

"No."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"The nurse is calling. Wait here alright."

I just nod and watch eomma walks away. Then I remembered what eomma told me few months ago. I look around, analyzing his presence. But nowhere to be seen. Just then a nurse comes up to me.

"Jung So Min-ssi? Your mother wants you in the room."

I smiled and followed her inside the room. The doctor were examining eomma. I sat across the doctor's table.

"I recommend that you stay here for few days."

"For blood test?"

"Yes. And I have to re-examinant your kidney completely"

Eomma nod.

"Alright. So the nurse will lead you to your homestay. She will provide whatever you need."

"Is she going to be long here?"

I ask.

"Just in two to three days."

The doctor smiled. We both walks out following the nurse from behind.

 

"He’s not here. That day he told me he’s going to examinant me."

 

"Eomma,  stop it. You know its dangerous if you change doctor right?

As we settle in inside the room, my mum doze to sleep and I decided to take a walk at the hospital garden. I walked out from the room silently not to wake eomma. Just as I close the door, I turn and surprise to see.. him. Standing in front of me with the same gaze that he used to give me.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"So how are you? Married?"

She shake one's head.

"You?"

I shake one's head too.

"I saw your mum the other day. Coincidence, her doctor had a last minute surgery so I covered him up.”

"I know."

"You knew?"

I looked at her, disbelief. Lots of emotions starts to copped inside. She sigh silently and nod.

"Lots of things had changed."

She speaks up and takes a sip on her coffee. Sitting side by side, I felt the distance. She's right beside me, but far away.

"Yeah.."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Lots of things had changed."

 

I said.

 

"Yeah."

 

I took a quick glance of him, realizing that his shoulders seems to be sunk inwards. Like he's trying to hold back something. His lips that used to have colors, looked pale. Few times he close his eyes trying to get a better vision.

"Are you married?"

"Nope. I don't have time. I am so busy. Sometimes I don’t even have time to eat. I covered my eating patterns with sleep.

"That's why you're getting skinnier, and.. pale too."

Thinking that maybe he needs a drink. I shove a bottle of water besides me to him.

"Here, drink this."

He looks at the bottle and reach out for it. I could see his fingers trembling. While waiting for him to get the bottles in my hands, I put down my coffee on the other side and that's when I heard a big smack on the floor and realize that he faints.

"Oh my God, Hyun Joong!"

The water in the bottle spill on the floor and his coat got some stains from it. I lift up his head patting his face.

"Hyun Joong-ah! Wake up!"

His eyes were half open. I touched his forehead and felt that he's burning up.

"Come, get up. You need to get inside."

"I.. miss-- you."

I stop with what I'm doing. My heart stops beatin.

"We need to get you inside. There's no one here."

I lift him up and he hold over my shoulders with his arms while I tried to support his whole body.

"Help! He's sick!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I stared at him silently. Looking back all these years that I never felt contented with one thing, now I realize that he's the missing one. Maybe I told myself before I'm ready to let him go but eventually, it hurts even more. And now comes to mind, not even a second I've ever let him go. Tears starts to pile up, I miss him. I miss when he used to be mine. But now, he's just some kind of person that I used to know. I take a deep breath and wipe all my tears away. Then his eyes starts to open slowly.

"Are you feeling more okay now?"

He gulp down his saliva and nod weakly.

"Water?"

I instantly stood up reaching for a glass of water beside the bed. But he stop me by gripping the end of my clothes.

"Where have you been all this time? I miss you."

I froze. My legs not working and I landed on the chair again. I clasp my hands together and looks down embarrassed to show him that I'm crying.

"You know I'm waiting for you right? So Min-ah…"

Silence.

"I'm sorry for not giving any words after we agreed to broke up."

"Stop."

"So Min--"

"I said stop."

Tears drools down my cheeks.

"If it hurts, you and I should have said it. But we didn't."

I lift up my face slowly.

 

"If it hurts, says it. If it’s a torture, says it.If it is hard, says it. If we have to wait, we should wait. And if we love, we should have said it."

I see his eyes starts to pool with water tears.

" Do you even know where it hurts when I remembered you, remembered us and people mentioning your name?"

I hit my chest hard.

"Over here. And I can’t even breath”

"I'm sorry So Min. I’m not supposed to do this to you. Being selfish..."

"Its our fault."

I clear things up. Its both of us who suffered. And it comes from our own mistake.

"I’ve got so many to tell you. But when I saw your shoulders sunk inwards, my tongue was like ice.”

"We both are hurting right?"

He nods.

"Its enough for me to hear it."

We both stares at each other without words. And we both know, that we're happy now for not letting go of each other at the first place. Lots of things had changed, but our love will never gets old.