My <3 Lisa: Guys I am really really sorry TT. My parents suddenly wanted to go to watch a movie. I told them I have an appointment today but since they really wanted to go, I lied and said it’s canceled. I am really sorry.

Me: It’s okay love. You should go with them. I don’t mind if it’s tomorrow or the next day even next month {}

Americano: Yes. We can go anytime. You should have fun with your parents.

My <3 Lisa: Thank you guysss. I love you to the moon and back xoxo

Chaeyoung put her phone down and continued drying her hair. They were supposed to have lunch and movies together to celebrating Jaehyun and Lisa’s acceptance to the university. She saw her reflection on the mirror. She looked a bit puffy because she ate too much yesterday. Yesterday, Jin treated her and Jimin to celebrate Chaeyoung’s first failure on academic achievement. It might sound rude for others but Chaeyoung loves it. She loved how her brothers cheered her up. They didn’t give her a pitied look but the opposite, they . Well, maybe it was what they were called as a sibling thing.

“My perfect sister finally failed for the first time. I know you work so hard but once in a life, you should taste the bitterness of failure. Welcome to the real world,” Jimin was saying it while making a fake sad face and even fake cry.

“Yeah, congratulations!! It’s gonna be a meaningful experience for you. Keep this feeling carefully. This is a historical day for you and us, so why don’t we celebrate it? It’s my treat” with a huge excitement Jin offered to treat them.

Chaeyoung was smiling when she remembered what happened last night. Yes, it’s her first time. Glad she told her parents beforehand so that they won’t get shocked. Except for her close friends and her family, people might not believe this news. She wondered what will happen at school if they know the unbeatable queen failed the Suneung. If there was a search engine on her school, she believed her name might be on the 1st rank for the most searched keyword.

Chaeyoung turned off the hairdryer when she saw there was an incoming call. She took a glance at the screen to see the caller. It’s Americano. She put down the hairdryer then picked the phone up.

“Hey, wanna go grab some pizza for lunch?” Jaehyun told her right away the purpose of the call.

“Don’t you read the message? Lisa couldn’t make it today. Let’s go together some other time,” Chaeyoung refused his invitation.

“Well, the weather is so nice today,” said Jaehyun. Chaeyoung was laughing. That’s so unusual for him.

“What’s the purpose of saying that? Do you want me to look out of the window and check the weather? Hahaha... that’s so cliché,” Chaeyoung . Although she knew it just such random words she got curious.

“Yes, you should check it. It’s really nice,” Jaehyun persuaded her.

“What’s that? Don’t say you want me to look outside because you are waiting in front of my house as a surprise? Hahaha…,” Chaeyoung suddenly remembered the old romance movie she watched last night.

“What if, I really in front of your house now?” Jaehyun challenged her.

“Then, I will play with you today,” Chaeyoung said it without thinking. She knew there was no way he was there but somehow she got curious. She stood up from the chair and walked to the window

“Great. Then, keep your promise,” said Jaehyun.

Chaeyoung opened the window. She looked around the area in front of her apartment. Her eyes suddenly caught something. Someone was standing beneath the withered tree. She squinted her eyes so that she could see well. Seems like that person aware she was looking at him. That person then waved to her.

“Found me?” Jaehyun asked through the phone.

“Oh My God! Hey, what are you doing down there? How long are you standing there? Ah, forget it. First, you should come here! It’s cold outside,” Chaeyoung surprised because Jaehyun really was there. She worried he might be cold so she told him to come inside. He refused at first but she said it will take a long time for her to get ready. Jaehyun hesitated but then she said it’s okay to come because her brothers were at home. Jaehyun felt relieved after he heard it and said he will come up.

After she ended the phone call, she went out of her bedroom to told Jimin and Jin that Jaehyun came. She asked them to accompany him while she was busy dolled up. Right after she finished saying her request, the bell was ringing. Jimin opened the door and let Jaehyun in. As soon as Jaehyun put his food inside the house, Jimin offered him what he wanted to drink. Jaehyun politely refused his offer by saying he didn’t need anything since he won’t stay long. He just wanted to wait for Chaeyoung. Jimin then said Chaeyoung will take at least 15 minutes to get ready. Jaehyun smiled awkwardly and said anything was fine.

While Jimin made a hot barley tea, Jin came out of his room. Jaehyun stood up then politely gave a bow. Jin smiled then said he didn’t have to act too polite around him. Just act comfortably. Jin sat down on the sofa and started a conversation. After serving the tea, Jimin also joined them.

“ROSEANNE PARK, HURRY UP! JAEHYUN IS GROWING WHITE HAIR NOW!! Jin shouted from the living room. It’s almost 15 minutes yet Chaeyoung hasn’t ready. Jin and Jimin then apologized to Jaehyun on her behalf. A few seconds later, Chaeyoung was out of her room looking so neat and pretty.

“What took you so long? Yesterday you only take less than 1 minute to get ready,” Jin was complaining. He remembered as soon as he said he would treat them, she went to her room, took her hoodie, and said she was ready.

“That’s a different case. I only adapt my style to whom I will go with. Don’t expect me to dress sloppily when I go with him. I don’t want people to judge me,” Chaeyoung gave her reason. She had a bitter experience once when she hanged out with Jaehyun after practicing for their busking. She wore an oversized t-shirt and baggy pants while Jaehyun wore ripped jeans, a white t-shirt, and a denim jacket. She didn’t put any makeup and tied her hair because she overslept and had no time to do it all. The clothes she wore also the one that was available in her closet.

When they were waiting in the line to get coffee, she saw a group of girls was staring at Jaehyun. She knew they were talking about him. After they got their coffee they were taking a sit to wait for Lisa who said she wanted to join them. Chaeyoung then went to the bathroom and overheard the girls were talking about the guy in the denim jacket. They thought Jaehyun was a kpop idol because of his outstanding look. Chaeyoung smiled because she was agreed with them. But then, she smiled disappear because one of the girls was talking about the girl beside the denim jacket guy. One of them said she absolutely not his girlfriend. With that look, she most likely his manager or some staff that following him around. It really hurts her pride. As someone who interested in fashion and make up, she couldn’t take that comment. That’s why the next time they went out, she always asked about his outfit before she chose what to wear.

The beep sound on the lift was heard. The door then opened. A girl and a mother came out of it. They greeted Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung gave a short bow to the mother and smiled awkwardly to the daughter then quickly went inside the lift. Jaehyun saw it and felt a bit confused but he had no time to think since Chaeyoung already went inside.

As soon as they got out of the building, the cold breeze greeted them. It’s cold and the lunchtime was getting near so Jaehyun said they should take a taxi rather than a bus today. Lucky for them, a taxi stopped on the next building to drop off the passengers. They quickly run to the taxi and get on it. They arrived at their destination around 15 minutes later. Chaeyoung got off of the taxi first followed by Jaehyun because he had to pay. They entered the American restaurant located in the elite district, Gangnam. They entered the restaurant and choose the place near the window on the second floor. The waitress handed out the menu and they quickly choose the signature dish menu. While waiting for their food to be served, they were having a small talk about their plan for the future.

“Right, my Dad’s company has a scholarship program. If you are interested, I will send you the information and ask my Dad to write a recommendation letter for you,” Jaehyun remembered his Dad was talking about this program last night when he told him about his smart and diligent friend that failed the test.

“It sounds interesting. But, does it usually for the employee’s family? And, does it affecting my chance to get chosen if I have your Dad’s recommendation?” Chaeyoung looked interested but there was a hesitancy written on her face.

“No, anyone can apply. It is one of their CSR programs. They do have a portion for employees and for the public. Anyway, don’t worry. Having a recommendation letter from my father doesn’t mean you will get prioritized. It’s an advantage, but they judge the awardee fairly. So, you don’t have to worry about it,” Jaehyun knew Chaeyoung didn’t like to accept something from a connection. She wanted to compete fair and square. That’s why even when she didn’t ask him directly he knew what she wanted to ask.

Chayeoung nodded and smile shyly. She didn’t expect Jaehyun could notice her worries. This character she had was similar to her father. They were quite stubborn, had a high pride, and tend to do everything by themselves because they hate having a debt to someone.

The food was coming and the waitress was busy organizing the table so that their order could fit on the table. They ordered a lot although there were only the two of them. After all the food was served on the table, Chaeyoung took her phone and began to take a picture of each food. She smiled when she saw the picture she took. Not only Chaeyoung but also Jaehyun did the same thing. Even if they were hungry, taking a picture was a must thing to do.

“Let me take your picture,” Chaeyoung reached out her hand, asking for Jaehyun’s phone. Jaehyun gave his phone and pose for the camera. Chaeyoung then gave a direction to Jaehyun so that she could get the best angle. She touched the capture button then monitored the result. She felt unsatisfied and asked Jaehyun to take one more picture. Jaehyun did what she said and pose to the camera. Chaeyoung counted to give a signal but when she was just counted to two, she put down the phone. She moved her index finger back and forth as a gesture to ask Jaehyun to get closer. Jaehyun leaned his face forward then Chaeyoung fixed his hair. Chaeyoung moved her head backward to check on Jaehyun’s hair. She was satisfied and continued to take his picture.

Chaeyoung gave the phone back to Jaehyun and he was satisfied with the result. This time was Chaeyoung’s turn. She gave her phone to Jaehyun so he could take the picture. The photo session was finally over. Chaeyoung was smiling while swiped the picture in her gallery. After checked all the pictures, she began to eat.

“Why are you always taking the picture of the food? You don’t have SNS account. Where are you going to post it?” Jaehyun asked while munching on the pizza. This question always popped up on his head but he always forgot to ask her.

“For private collection. Should the picture have to be shared on SNS?” Chaeyoung replied to him while dipped the slice of pizza on the sour and cheese dip.

“No. But, that feels unusual for teenagers these days not having an SNS account. I just wondering, how the girl like you who has a big interest in food, fashion, and social activities doesn’t have a single account of SNS. I just think it is a waste because your pictures are so great. And also, people like you could have the power to spread the information and asking people to join the charity or any social event you are holding,” the tone on Jaehyun’s voice sounded so serious. That means he sincerely curious about this mystery.

Chaeyoung was staring at him with a serious face while munching her pizza. She put down the pizza she was holding, swallowing the pizza on then sipped her cola. Since he was serious, she had to answer it seriously too.

“Because it’s toxic. For me… I had it but I deactivated it. Well, there is one thing that I still keep, it’s my blog. I don’t know whether the blog is counted as social media or not. As you said, I love fashion, make-up, food, social event. I share it all on my blog. I love taking picture and I love writing. So, the blog is the right platform for me. I know people not really using blogs these days, but I still love it,” this was the first time she told other people outside the Blackpink’s members about this fact. Jaehyun looked impressed by her answer. He then handed his phone and asked Chaeyoung to write the address of her blog. Chaeyoung took it and open her blog from Jaehyun’s phone.

“Why… do you write it in English?” Jaehyun asked her as soon as he saw the blog. Chaeyoung said because she was afraid she would make lots of grammar mistakes if she wrote in Korean. Besides, she wanted to share it with a foreigner who has an interest in Korean culture. Jaehyun nodded then continued to read on her blog.

It’s unexpected. She thought Jaehyun gonna ask about why she thought it was toxic, but he didn’t. Instead, he asked why she wrote it in English. Maybe, because he wasn’t interested or because he already knew about her family’s story. No matter what the reason was, she was glad because she didn’t have to explain it. That was one thing that she likes from Jaehyun, he never asked something that seemed too private or most likely offending.

The first round of their gourmet was finished. They were resting their stomach so it could have enough time to digest the pizza. The next round was the ribs steaks. They both leaned on the sofa to rest. Chaeyoung’s chat notification was beeping. She read the chat through the popped up window. She was laughing after she read it. She took her phone, opened the camera then made a finger heart and positioned it so it covered Jaehyun’s face. She touched the camera button then sent the picture as the reply to the chat. Jaehyun who felt he just got captured on the picture was curious and asked her who she sent the picture for.

“Wonyoung just texted me. She asked are we really dating. So, I send her this picture,” Chaeyoung showed the picture to Jaehyun while giggling. Jaehyun saw it and smiling.

“She is so cute. I can’t help but . You must be happy for having a cute and pretty fan like her. Oh, wait, she calls me,” Chaeyoung panicked when she saw Wonyoung was calling. She cleared before she answered.

“Hai, Wonyoung. Me? Yeah, I am having lunch with a handsome boy right now. What? Jaehyun? No, it’s not him. Lying? You know? How could you know? Oh, Jaehyun just posting a picture on his Insta. Hemm… Since I got caught so I can’t lie right? Hahaha… Dating? Me and Jaehyun? What makes you think we are dating? What? You hear it we call each other baby and honey? Wait, since you already know about it, I become hesitant whether I should tell you the truth or not. Wonyoung, don’t end the call, I gonna have a short discussion about this matter with him, just a minute,” Chaeyoung put on the mute button and laughing so hard. Jaehyun who heard Chaeyoung was also smiling at how cute Wonyoung was.

“So, what should I say? Should I say the truth?” Chaeyoung asked Jaehyun. Jaehyun felt bad towards her so he told Chaeyoung to tell the truth. Chaeyoung agreed then unmute the phone call.

“Baby, are you still there? So, after a brief discussion, we decided to tell the truth. But, promise us, don’t tell anyone about it, okay? Great! So, the truth is…. Wait, before I say it, I want to apologize for hiding this truth from you. Well… actually, we are… not dating. We are just friends. Lie? No, I am not lying. That’s the truth. About we are calling each other with baby or honey… We did it when we are about to get mad at each other. That’s our agreement. Instead of saying bad words like common people usually do when they get mad, we decided to say something good, praising each other or calling each other with a dear nickname. That’s our way of avoiding an unwanted fight. You also know we are a Tom and Jerry, right? Yeah, I am serious. You can trust me. Or, do you want to hear it from Jaehyun? Okay. It’s okay. Yeah, we are just friends. Hmm… okay, bye!!” Chaeyoung finally hanged up the phone call.

The incident was not the first one for them. People often mistake them as a couple. At first, they were busy explaining to people about their “just friends” status. Especially Chaeyoung. It was harder for Chaeyoung because of Jaehyun’s appearance and charm easily attract people. But, as time goes by, they were tired and let people assuming their relationship. They didn’t bother about the gossip anymore. On the opposite, they were kind of happy because they could save their time and energy from a long explanation.

Finally, after they felt their stomach was ready to open a new room, they ordered the second course. This time was ribs steak. It’s their first time in that restaurant and they were glad they chose the right menu. Chaeyoung was so determined to promote this restaurant on her blog and so did Jaehyun on his insta. It didn’t take long for them to finish their meal. There was only the bone on the plate now. Both of them were so full that made they had no energy to talk and just stared blankly to the scenery outside the window.

“Jaehyuna,” Chaeyoung called while still enjoying the scenery.

“Emm?” Jaehyun answered then turned his head from the window to her face. She looked like she was deep in her thought. She didn’t respond. Her body suddenly twitched and looked like she finally back to reality. She looked at Jaehyun and realized she hasn’t answered Jaehyun.

“No, it’s nothing. Should we order the dessert? I crave something sweet,” Chaeyoung changed the topic. She raised her hand and asked the waitress for the menu book. It’s cold but they agreed to order ice cream as their dessert.

It didn’t take long for the ice cream to be served. They each grabbed their spoon, divide their own ice cream into two then put it on each other glass so that they could taste the two flavors. They ate the ice cream while talking about the food they ate today. It’s a bit expensive but the portion was large and the taste was great so the price was worth it.

It’s Jaehyun's last spoon when Chaeyoung called his name again like before. This time, she was staring blankly at her melted ice cream. Jaehyun responded to her call but once again she said it was nothing. This time, she said she just wanted to tell Jaehyun to eat his ice cream. Jaehyun could sense something was not right with her. She seemed to have trouble that made her lost in thought. How could she ask him to finish the ice cream while his cup was already empty? Although he was curious he decided to not ask her.

The ice cream was their last food for today's lunch. They seriously couldn’t take more food. After resting for a while, they decided to leave. On their way down to the cashier, they were talking about what they should do next. Chaeyoung said since Jaehyun treated her today, she would follow whatever he wanted to do. Jaehyun smiling and said he would like to buy a training suit.

They were walking out of the restaurant and walked towards the shopping area. The sports shop was located on the area across this road so they were standing on the zebra cross waiting for the light to turn green. On the other side of the zebra cross, there was a little girl and her mom who was also waiting to cross.

“That little girl is so cute, isn’t she?” said Jaehyun when she saw that girl.

“Yeah, she is. She might be afraid to be separated from her Mom. Look at how tight she holds her Mom’s hand,” said Chaeyoung and it made Jaehyun looked at their hands. Before he responds, the light turned green. They safely crossed the road and continued to head to the sports store. As they walked Jaehyun purposely slowed down so that he could balance Chaeyoung’s step. The street was crowded maybe because it’s the weekend. Although he walked slowly sometimes he had to stop and looked behind because he lost her. He then thought it would be better if they did what the little girl and the Mom did while crossing the road.

Finally, they almost arrived at the store. This time again, Jaehyun had to stop because he couldn’t felt Chaeyoung’s presence. He looked back and saw her walking with an empty look. Rather than waiting for her to come, he walked towards her.

“Jaehyuna,” she called Jaehyun’s name again when Jaehyun arrived and stood before her.

“Emm?” he also responded with the same word for the third time.

“I am sorry. I think I can’t keep my promise today. Today is too cold. Let’s go another time when the weather is nice,” Chaeyoung suddenly changed her decision. Jaehyun observed her face. She indeed didn’t look good. Her eyes weren’t sparkling and it looked so lost. Jaehyun couldn’t force her so he said it’s okay because it was too cold anyway. He offered to walk her home but she refused. She said Jaehyun’s home was near and it was still bright so she could go by herself. Jaehyun nodded and told her to be careful. Chaeyoung waved and left him to the subway station.

Chaeyoung’s back disappeared on the crowd. There was a little regret on Jaehyun’s heart. He knew she was not feeling good but why he hesitated to ask her. At least to let her know that he knew she had trouble and it’s okay to share it with him. After she vanished from his sight, he continued walking to the sports store. But, when he arrived and standing in front of the door, he suddenly lost his desire for shopping.

“Ah, I wish she was here,” Jaehyun said it inside his head. He then left the store and decided to go home.

“Jaehyuna!!” Jaehyun stopped as he heard someone was calling him. He hesitated at first because that voice sounds so similar to Chaeyoung. But then he quickly turned around and saw Chaeyoung was standing before him while panting. The corner of his lips then created a beautiful smile to welcome her.

“You said you want to buy a training suit? But the store is right there. Come on!” Chaeyoung pulled Jaehyun’s arm and dragged him to the sports store Jaehyun just passed by.

After finished with his shopping, Jaehyun looked around the store then approached Chaeyoung who was staring at the running shoes. Sensing Jaehyun’s existence she quickly asked him whether he already finished the payment. Chaeyoung asked him what he just bought and laughing when she found out he bought a basketball.

“Is that supposed to be funny?” Jaehyun was confused at Chaeyoung’s laugh.

“You are a soccer player but you buy a basketball. Hahaha…,” Chaeyoung thought that sight was weird yet funny.

“Am I not allowed to? Just because I am a soccer player doesn’t mean I can’t play other sport,” Jaehyun got offended.

“I know, I know. Don’t get mad. I just think it’s unusual. I am sorry. Hahaha,” she was sorry but she was still laughing. Jaehyun took a breath then left her. Rather than stopping, Chaeyoung was laughing harder as she found it funnier because he got sulky.

Left the store, now, the two of them were walking down the shopping area without a destination. While they were walking, Chaeyoung kept rubbing her hands because of the cold. Jaehyun realized it and felt bad. Actually, the temperature wasn’t that cold because it was still early winter. Maybe her coat wasn’t warm enough or her body wasn’t really fit so that she felt so cold.

“Wanna play basketball? A little exercise might help you to feel warm,” Jaehyun suddenly thought of playing basketball after he saw the shopping bag he held. Chaeyoung surprised. She didn’t even though about that idea. Usually, they just hanging out from a café to a café but she thought this idea wasn’t bad at all. She agreed and said she might need some exercise since she hibernated too much.

The two of them were heading to the nearest basketball court in Han River Park. The court was empty. Not a lot of people was there maybe because it was cold or it was still in the broad day. Jaehyun put the ball out from the bag and then bounce it to the floor. While Jaehyun was testing the ball and the court, Chaeyoung was sitting on the bench. She wasn’t really good at sport but she could do some sports thanks to the PE class. From what she saw, she knew Jaehyun was a good basketball player. When she watched him play, she was suddenly thinking about how the girls in comic books were mesmerized by the school heartthrob during PE Class. So, that’s how it feels. Boy was indeed so cool when they play sports.

“Hey!” Jaehyun called Chaeyoung then passed the ball to her. Luckily, she was able to catch it before it hit her face. Jaeyoung called her to enter the court and start playing. Chaeyoung bounced the ball tried to get the feel. Jaehyun told her to do a lay-up move. She held the ball then walked to the three-point line. She bounced the ball again then slowly tried to do the lay-up move. Jaehyun was surprised at how accurate Chaeyoung’s move was.

After they did a short warm-up, they began to play. In a short time, Chaeyoung was already lost to him. He didn’t lie when he said he was good at basketball. Chaeyoung didn’t have a chance to score. Chaeyoung took off her coat and determined to score at least one point then ask him to stop the game. There was no chance to pass him so she planned to do the three-point shot as soon as the game began. Jaehyun passed the ball to Chaeyoung then as soon as she grabbed it she threw it to the ring.

“YEAYY I MADE IT!! I am tired, let’s stop this game. I’m already warm enough,” said Chaeyoung while fanning herself with her hand. She felt so hot then tied her hair up.

“What? Already? Hey, let’s play the three-point game. The loser should buy a drink. How?” Jaehyun seemed to want to play more but he decided to stop as he saw Chaeyoung seemed exhausted. Chaeyoung agreed. The first to score three points will be the winner. Jaehyun went first. He was undoubtedly successful in throwing the ball to the ring consecutively without missed. Chaeyoung could see her defeat but she still tried. As expected she lost. She missed it when she did the last throw. Jaehyun was laughing and with a pissed face, Chaeyoung left the court to the convenience store.

When Chaeyoung was back, she saw Jaehyun was sitting on the bench and leaned his head. Chaeyoung walked closer then stopped in front of him. She stared at Jaehyun’s face and chuckled. This guy had no fear. How could he fell asleep in a public space without getting worried someone might try to harm him? With this kind of face, he easily could attract people, either good or bad. Chaeyoung suddenly moved her body as she saw her shadow. Although she moved one step to the left, she still stood there and watched Jaehyun’s face.

“Why did you moving? Aren’t you supposed to stand there and protect me from the sun?” said Jaehyun but still not opening his eyes.

“I think you are sunbathing. So, I moved. Anyway, here your water,” Chaeyoung handed the water she bought to Jaehyun who finally opened his eyes.

After took a sip of water, Chaeyoung followed Jaehyun and did the same pose, leaning on the bench and close her eyes. No wonder why Jaehyun did that. It was so comfortable. Jaehyun smiled when he saw Chaeyoung copied him. He then back to his position. They were both sitting in that position without saying anything. They enjoyed this feeling. The cold winter breeze mixed with the warmness of the sunshine accompanied by the nature sound blended with the city. Some people might felt awkward when they didn’t say anything to each other. But, as for them, they always enjoy this comfortable silence.

“Jaehyuna,” called Chaeyoung.

“Emm?” Jaehyun answered the exact same way as he did before. He knew she might want to tell him something but she hesitated. That’s why she just called his name without saying anything. Still, Jaehyun didn’t want to force her to tell him.

“I…,” after a long silence, Chaeyoung finally spoke again.

“I almost killed someone,” Jaehyun opened his eyes slowly as he heard it. His brain needed to process her words. He didn’t respond to her. Slowly, he lifted his head, straightened his back, and looked at Chaeyoung who still sitting with her eyes closed. Jaehyun’s heart was beating so fast, his eyes were shaking because of curiousness. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. He was busy wondering about the meaning of her words while staring at her. Waiting for her to continuing her story.

“Stop staring or you will fall for me,” said Chaeyoung without changing her body position.

Jaehyun was still anxious. Why did she look so calm after she said a questionable statement like that? But, once again he couldn’t let his emotion lead him. He waited. He waited till Chaeyoung was able to calm herself and ready to tell about that story. After a while, he then back to his original position. But this time he didn’t close his eyes. His hands played with the water bottle and his eyes were looking at the blue sky. For a second he tried to prepare his heart to receive what she gonna say next. He turned his head and looked at Chaeyoung again.

What are you thinking right now? How can I do to help you feel better? Jaehyun was talking with himself while staring at Chaeyoung.

Like a sleeping beauty who finally awake from her long sleep, Chaeyoung finally opened her eyes. She blinked fast as she directly staring at the sun. Her eyes needed time to adjust.

“Three more seconds you are staring at my face, you’ll be fined,” Chaeyoung aware that Jaehyun was looking at her with an intense look. She turned her head and smiled at Jaehyun. Her smile was stinging his heart. That smile was beautiful yet painful.

“The weather is nice. Glad I chose to spend it outside,” said Chaeyoung after took a deep breath, feeling the fresh cold air.

“Should we take a walk? Since the weather is nice and the view is great, it will be a waste if we are not enjoying it to the fullest,” it seems like Chaeyoung still needs more time to build her courage so that Jaehyun decided to stand up and asked Chaeyoung to walk around the river. Chaeyoung agreed then following him walking down the park.

They were walking side to side along the road path. There were not a lot of people as it was in the summer. The view was a bit gloomy because of the brown and grey colors that dominating the palette. There was no leave on the trees, no colorful flowers, no picnic, and no evening walk. That’s so different when they came here in spring or summer. But, winter had its own charm and beauty.

“That night…,” Chaeyoung began to talk. Jaehyun slowed down and focusing his ears so that he could hear her voice better.

“After I sent the text on our group chat, I fell asleep. That night was the first time in my life I slept alone at home. Back when I still live with Jimin, I ever slept alone too. But, that was different. Because I know Jin Oppa was there on his home. Even his body isn’t there with me, just by thinking he will be there if I need him is enough to make me feel safe. But, that night, I know he won’t be there.

“That day, I just live my life as usual. Never even once I thought about something unusual. Fall asleep, wake up, go to the test place, do the test, and go home. That was my last thought before I fell asleep. That night, I suddenly woke up. It’s so unusual because I rarely go to the bathroom at night. I went back to my room as soon as possible afraid I will waste one more second of my sleeping time. Right when I put my head on the pillow, I heard something. I thought it was just my imagination so I didn’t put any attention. Sadly, my ears couldn’t just ignore it. The sound was getting louder.

“I am a scaredy-cat especially when it comes to ghosts. But that night, I strangely followed my instinct. I went out of my bedroom to check on that sound. With all the braveness I have, I peek through the door hole. I saw no one was there. My heart was beating so fast. The image from a horror movie appeared on my brain. I was so afraid and luckily the sound stopped. I stood there for a few seconds and after ensuring there was no sound, I conclude it was just my imagination. I decided to go back to sleep but right before I reach my bedroom, the sound was heard again. I trembled. In the horror movie, the ghost will haunt and tease you when you are about to leave, right? Hahaha… I don’t know why I watch that movie although I am a scaredy-cat. Anyway, do you believe the existence of ghosts?” asked Chaeyoung brightly. It seems like she didn’t want to create a gloomy ambiance.

Jaehyun was smiling and said he didn’t believe about the ghost's existence. It made Chaeyoung chuckled. Their conversation paused for a moment as they were facing the intersection. They discussed which way they should choose. After looking at the view, they decided to take the left road which had a richer view of the winter garden.

“Although I was scared to death, my feet were taking me back to the door. I heard it again, the knock. I was holding the door handle but then the hesitancy came again. I remembered what Jin Oppa told me. Don’t open the door for a stranger. Men are scarier than ghosts. Suddenly I thought it might be a bad person. They knew I was alone and they took that chance to rob me or something. To avoid any unwanted thing to happen, I decided to go back to sleep.

“But, before I left the door, my ears caught something. The sound was getting clearer because I stood next to the door. It was the sound of a girl crying. I put my ear against the door and in the middle of the sobbing voice, I barely heard the girl was saying my name. After I ensure myself what I heard was right, I immediately opened the door.

“I saw her, my neighbor, the little girl we saw on the elevator, was standing in front of my door. I kneeled down and asked her what happened but she couldn’t answer because she was sobbing so hard that it made her lose her voice. Instead of answering, she pulled my hand and brought me to her apartment. The door was opened. She pulled me to go inside but I hold it. I was afraid if a bad guy was holding a weapon was hiding inside. I told her about my worry but she insisted and pulled my hand. Once I got inside, I saw the house was clean and it made me relieved. The girl then brought me to the bathroom while said ‘mom, mom’ to me. I guess it was where her mom was. I walked to the bathroom and saw her Mom was lying on the floor. I came closer and she was… she was covered by… blood,” Chaeyoung was shaking and instinctively hold onto Jaehyun’s arm to maintain her balance.

Jaehyun immediately held her arms and asked whether she was okay. Chaeyoung nodded and said she was shaken because she remembered that scene. Jaehyun told her to drink water and suggested to found a bench to sit down. Chaeyoung agreed. While they were continued walking and looking for a bench, Chaeyoung continued her story.

“I almost fainted and screamed when I saw her mom. I looked at the girl and seemed like she didn’t see the blood. She just saw her Mom fainted. I got so panicked because of the blood so I didn’t move her body. I remembered the suspense movie where the police warned to do not to touch the body on the crime scene. I didn’t know what happened but it’s better to not touch it. I brought the girl to the living room because I was afraid she would saw her Mom in that condition. I tried to calm myself so I could think clearly. I didn’t bring my phone so I went to the bedroom to found a phone that I could use for calling an ambulance. Luckily I found it and it wasn’t locked.

“When I was waiting for the ambulance to come, I stay with that girl. The ambulance woke the entire building. They were curious about what happened. When the body was brought to the ambulance, I came with them as the guardian. The Mom needed to be operated and I stay with the girl in the hospital. That time, I completely forgot about the Suneung test. I realized it when it was dawn and the operation was finished. I went crazy and panicked. I couldn’t just let the five years old girl alone in the hospital. I didn’t bring my phone and I didn’t know who to call. But at the same time, I should go back home to prepare for my exam. Thank God I remembered Jisoo Unnie’s phone number because she was one of my emergency contacts. I called for help and luckily she came immediately.

“I was able to come home, took a shower, and came to the test location on time. I don’t know maybe because I was lacking sleep or because I didn’t eat breakfast, I couldn’t concentrate on the test. That’s why I did it poorly and I was sure I will fail even if I haven’t seen the result. I lied if I say I am not sad. Yes, I was sad. But, one week after that incident, the mom came to my home. She said she was grateful because I was there and helped her daughter. That night she was very tired because of work. Moreover, she had low blood pressure and it made it worse. She was suddenly felt dizzy and fainted in the bathroom. Her forehead was bleeding because it bumped into something when she fell down…,” Chaeyoung once again pauses her story when they arrived at the convenience store. They walked inside and bought hot drinks. After they went out of the convenience store, Chaeyoung saw a bench near the park, not far from their position. It seemed like she still had lots of things to tell because she still wanted to go to the bench despite the cold weather.

The coffee they bought was half empty when they arrived at the bench. The weather got colder that made them tightened their coat. She regretted wearing this outfit today. If she knew she would walk around the park, she should wear the padded jacket instead.

“It’s getting colder. But I think it’s the charm of winter. It makes me enjoy the hot drink more,” said Chaeyoung while cupped the coffee cup with both of her hands and sipped it.

“Yeah, that’s right. So, there was no criminal act and it just purely an accident, right?” Jaehyun asked her about the continuation of her story.

“Yeah, that’s what she told me. Anyway, that woman is so kind. She gave me a set of Korean Beef. I felt so bad because it was expensive. But she said it was nothing compared to what I did for them. She was so grateful because the doctor said if I late for ten minutes, she couldn’t be saved. And if it happened, the girl will become an orphan. That day, I just found out that her husband passed away a week before she moved to my apartment building. Hearing her said that made me feel so grateful. I told myself I did something right. I can retake the exam but I can’t resurrect a life. At least I could avoid making one girl become an orphan,” Chaeyoung sipped her coffee after finished the last part of her story.

Jaehyun sipped his coffee too. She was right, the warm drink always tastes better when we drink it in winter. After hearing her story, he couldn’t help but be proud of her. He had always been her fans ever since he first met her. But now, he was idolized her more. This girl that sat next to him now was so amazing. It’s made him happy that in his life, he met someone like her, someone who was putting other people above herself. She was genuinely kind and innocent. Even if she had to do the important thing in her life, she chose to help other people. She didn’t even blame them for her failure. How could someone as young as her endure everything like that alone?

“So, that was behind the scene. I didn’t know about it until today. Haah… listening to your story makes me envy. I never experienced anything like that. It would feel amazing I guess. Your sacrifice is getting paid. I know how hard your study for Suneung. I know between us three you are the one who has the biggest spirit and motivation to pass the test. I can’t forget your effort to keep us spirited. But, you couldn’t make it. Not because of yourself but because of the situation.

“I’m so envy of your kind and big heart, and also your mature mind. You are not blaming others over your failure. You can accept everything and thought it was just a bad experience that will make you better and stronger in the future. I never see someone like you in my life. Ah, I think I fall for you deeper. I should officially become your fan,” Jaehyun’s was smiling while looking at his coffee cup. People might say it’s hard to say a sweet thing to your close friend, but it didn’t apply to him. He was the type who always said what on his mind especially when it came to complimenting. He wanted to appreciate her. He wanted to made her feel better and acknowledged what she just did was amazing. Nobody can’t do it like her.

“Do you think so? Hahaha, you make me feel embarrassed. But, thank you. It means a lot to me. But, Jaehyun, could you please stop saying something cool like that? I hate it when you are the one who looks so cool. I wanted to look cool too you know,” Chaeyoung was shy after hearing Jaehyun’s compliment.

“I was born to be cool. I can’t do anything about it. I just need to accept my fate. Consider yourself lucky because you are the only girl in the world who has this kind of man as a fan. Hahaha…,” Jaehyun was joking to make the situation not being too serious. She was the type who couldn’t receive a compliment well. And he thought it was cute.

“Anyway, thank you,” Chaeyoung turned her head to look at him. He looked at her and they both smile.

They didn’t know whether it was because of the cold weather in the winter but the words they say and hear made them feel warm. It was just a simple talk between friends yet it means a lot for them. Happiness was simple. It was true. Now, even when they didn’t say anything, they still could sense the warmness that covered them.

The coffee they bought was getting colder. Before it turned into ice coffee, Jaehyun drank it all. The temperature now surely dropped as he could saw his breath. He thought, this time they should leave this place and looking for a warmer café. He told Chaeyoung about his plan and Chaeyoung nodded. He stood up first, asked for Chaeyoung’s empty cup, and put it on the plastic bag. He walked first to the main road. But, before he walked too far from the bench, he stopped. He turned back because he sensed Chaeyoung didn’t follow him. He saw her was still sitting on the bench.

“What’s wrong?” he came closer to her as he got worried.

“Jaehyuna…,” she called him while looking at the ground.

“Emm?” he responded.

“I am sorry,” she suddenly apologized and made him confused.

“What for?” he asked.

“Don’t like me. Don’t be my fan. I… don’t deserve it,” she still keeps her head down, didn’t dare to look at him.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and sat back down. His gut was right. There was something more that she hadn’t told him. Throughout the day, she looked anxious. She also acted weird by suddenly wanted to go home but then coming back in a rush. When she decided to speak, he thought she would let it out her worries. But, even after she finished her story -which he thought was still hanging- she still had the same expression. It means there was something that still bugging her. Something big. Something about what she said earlier about her almost killed someone.

This moment was the last chance for Jaehyun to dig that secret. If he failed, there was no other chance. Chaeyoung wasn’t the type to let people knew her problem. She was an expert when it came to hiding her feeling. Now, what he should do to make her speak? He forced his brain to work harder. His brain cells now were busy looking at every cabinet on his brain to find the way to made her speak. Finally, he found it.

“Why can’t I?” he asked her softly.

“Just… I am far from what you are thinking. I… I just. Please don’t like me. It makes me feel burdened,” she was holding her hands together, and anxiously shook her feet. It’s so clear that she was hardly holding her emotions.

“I don’t know why you are suddenly telling me this. But, if you ask me to hate you, I am sorry I can’t. I know you have your reason, I am dying to know, but I don’t want to force you to say it if you don’t want too. And one thing for sure, I won’t change my opinion. In my eyes, you are still Park Chaeyoung that I adore and proud of,” from her words, Jaehyun knew she might do something bad and it made her blaming herself. In this situation, he should put his trust in her and ensure her whatever the reason was, he always there for her.

It’s a long silence. Chaeyoung was still in a war with her mind. While Chaeyoung was struggling to make her decision, Jaehyun took his phone and played some calming background music. He hoped that music could ease her mind.

“I am sorry for lying to you. Everything that I said before was a lie. I… truthfully… I don’t want to make you disappointed. I am so happy when I know you see me that way. But at the same time, I feel like a sinner because I want to keep living in those lies. I can’t live like this anymore or I will go crazy,” her voice was trembling. She tried so hard to manage her emotions. There were lots of emotions flowing through her body right now. Frustration, sadness, happiness, disappointment, everything mingled into one emotion that made her didn’t know how to feel and how to react.

“It’s okay. Just tell me which part is a lie? And which one is the truth? Tell everything that you want to say. If it’s too hard for you to put that burden on your shoulder, you can always share that burden to me. My shoulder is broad enough for you to put half of your burden. Well, isn’t that the purpose of having a wide shoulder?” Jaehyun could sense her frustration. He tried to lift the atmosphere up and to lose her nerve. He didn’t want her to think he felt burdened to listen to her.

“I…,” she started to spoke but she paused. Jaehyun didn’t interrupt. He patiently waited for her to continue and giving her the softest gaze.

“I was mad. I was disappointed. I was… very… sad. After that night, before I go to sleep, I keep questioning myself. Why I don’t love myself? Why do I keep putting others above myself? I live a restless night since that day. That night, why should I open that door? Why it should be human? Why it’s not just an evil ghost? Why did I choose to not ignore it? If I don’t open that door, then right now, I am supposed to celebrate it with you two. I won’t feel embarrassed at school. And… I can make my parents and family proud of me.

“But I know, I can’t turn back the time. What’s left now is just regret. I’m always trying to suggest my mind that I should accept my destiny. I can’t put the blame on that woman nor the girl. They were just accidentally in there, in the wrong place and at the wrong time. I know it wasn’t their fault. That little girl just seeking help because the only people she knew in that building is just me. And I am their closest neighbor. I know I can’t put the blame on them. But… I just… I feel so disappointed. I work so hard this entire year only to prepare for that one day. But, everything was ruined. Moreover, it’s not because of myself but…

“I know it’s my fault too. I have enough time to sleep, to rest, to eat breakfast. And if I concentrate I can answer the questions. Yet, the image I saw that keep popping in my head and make me anxious. I ended up losing all the focus and felt sick. I came home and I felt like I just lost my soul. It’s hard for me but I should recover as soon as possible. I don’t want people to get worried. But that just makes me feel more devastated.

“Do you know what even worse? I always get back to the first possibility theory. If I don’t open that door that night, I won’t be like this. Whatever the reason I think off to move on, I keep coming back to that thought. I regret it. I regret it why I should open that door? And now, I can’t look at them the same way as before. I just can’t. I am such a worse human being am I? Even after I heard the girl might lose her mom that night, I still can’t get that mind away from my head!” Chaeyoung ended her long story with a sad and frustrated face. She leans her back on the chair, breathing so fast. She observed her breath and tried to calm herself down. It’s strange. She thought by saying all that those secrets could make her felt ease, but she still felt something was still blocking her heart.

Jaehyun didn’t respond. He was still processing her story. He tried to analyze the situation by positioning himself as her. He tried to think like her. From her story, if he wasn’t close with her, it might lead him to thought she was such a terrible, selfish, and revengeful. She can’t accept the result and put the blame on others. The close-minded person who couldn’t accept her failure was her fault. Always put the blame on others. But, judging from her state right now, maybe she just overreacted. Now, she was in the state where she really hated herself. That’s why she tended to make herself looked horrible.

“It’s normal. Everyone will have the same thought as you. When people fail, they will always regret their decision. They are always seeking for a reason and something or someone to be blamed on. Not to mention how they thought about any possibilities they should choose. What if… what if… it’s not my fault. Only if… If I am not doing that. I should do the others. I should choose my heart over my brain. I … I… and I… It won’t stop until you can accept it. It’s normal.

“Being sad, being disappointed is also normal. You have worked so hard and it’s normal if you feel angry, upset, disappointed, hopeless, everything. Moreover, it’s not your fault. You are just at the wrong time, in the wrong situation. You can feel all of those emotions without feeling bad for others. “You are neither an angel nor a saint. You are just a normal high school girl. I know you hate to make people disappointed. You always love it when you can give other people happiness. You don’t want to hurt them. But, it doesn’t mean you should neglect your own feeling. No, you are free to have those emotions,” Jaehyun tried to ease her heart. He knew she might felt really guilty towards the girl and her mom. It’s not good for her because if it’s continued it might lead to something worse. It’s unhealthy.

“I know. I know it. But still… I don’t… I just can’t forgive myself to have that kind of thought. Having that thought was the same as having the thought to kill her. How can I have that thought? I am such a worse human being for thinking about passing the exam is more important than saving someone else life!!!” she raised her voice as she let out her frustration and guilt.

Deep in regret and angry at herself made Chaeyoung suddenly felt a difficulty to breathe. She was breathing heavily as if something was blocking her lung. She closed her eyes to organize her breathing rhythm but she couldn’t. She was facing a difficulty to do it before she felt a gentle pat on her back.

One, two. That rhythm slowly brings back her breathing pace to normal. One two, one-two… this time she slowly brings her rational mind back to reality. That calming rhythm was continued and it calmed the storm down on her heart. The rhythm then slowly penetrated the wall of her tears dam and made a little crack. One, two, one-two. She was counting the pat. The drop of water was flowing from the small crack on the dam. One, two, one-two. She couldn’t hold it anymore. She closed her face with her hands. She was embarrassed because she cried in front of him again. But, she couldn’t do anything. Those warm and gentle pats seemed to chase away the burden that she bears on her shoulder.

“I feel so terrible. I am so ashamed that I couldn’t even look at them in the eyes. I am so embarrassed. Whenever I see them, I feel like I am a murderer. That evil thought, how could I even think about that though? What if I really did that? If it was my true heart? I feel so ashamed at my own self,” Chaeyoung was talking while sobbing so hard and covering her face.

Seeing her crying sorrowfully made Jaehyun couldn’t keep looking at her. He threw his face away. It’s broke his heart whenever he saw her like that. How could she hold all those feelings that even make her burst into tears? It’s so hard for her to endure it alone. He took a glance at her and she was still crying. He took the tissues and handed it to her then continued to pat her back.

“But, you didn’t do it, right? The fact that those mom and daughter are still living together is proof that you are not a bad person. Remember what the Mom said to you? She said she was so grateful because if you were late by a few minutes, she won’t be there with her daughter again. That means you are helping her, not killing her. Okay?

“I heard one of the situations that can show the true nature of the human heart is when they are in an emergency situation. That night, have you ever thought to abandon her? No, right? Because you just rushed to her house as soon as you saw her. Then, have you ever thought to leave the girl alone while waiting for the ambulance to come? No, right? Because you even stay with her in the hospital during the surgery. At that time, you didn’t think about taking the exam right? Of course, you’re not because you even forgot to bring your phone. And my guess, you don’t even dress properly. You might not bring your jacket with you. Even when you were staying at the hospital, you were still not thinking about the exam for a bit. You remember the exam once the surgery was done and the sun was rose. That’s when you called Jisoo noona, am I right?

“All the bad thoughts appeared one or two days after that night. It’s normal. That was because it was the phase when your rational mind was coming back. You started thinking about a lot of things. You started to fear the future. You were greatly disappointed because you couldn’t give your best. You may seem to blame them but you know exactly it’s not their fault. Since you are originally kind person, you hate that you even have that thought about them,

“So, in conclusion, you are not evil. You are not a bad person. You are just feeling sad and disappointed. That’s all. Don’t think about those bad thoughts. The most important thing is a fact. You didn’t kill anyone. Instead, you help someone else life and you make the little girl living happily with her mom. So, stop blaming yourself and started to be proud of what you have done. Okay?” Jaehyun tried to clear up her way of thinking so that she won’t blame herself so much. Luckily it seems like she considered everything that Jaehyun’s said. She still crying but she seems to look calmer.

The sun now was about to set. Jaehyun saw the time on his phone and saw the temperature forecast. They should be going before they were freezing. But, Chaeyoung was still in deep emotions that made all the nerves on her body forgot about the cold. It’s not good for their health because they weren’t wearing enough layers. Originally it was just lunch plan so that he dressed up nicely over warmly.

“Thank you. Ah… I feel so embarrassed. How can I cry in front of you again?” it seemed like Chaeyoung was run out of tears. She was able to talk although there was a sniffing sound in the middle.

“It’s okay. I’ve seen your puffed eyes so you don’t have to feel embarrassed again. Lucky that I am the one who sees you crying like a baby,” Jaehyun laughed and it made her smile a bit. Even though she was smiling, Jaehyun knew she still not get over her guilt. She looked like she was trying to calm herself and put her body on normal state again after crying for quite long.

“Chaeyounga, look at me,” Jaehyun moved his body so that now he sat facing her.

“Why? Do you want to laugh at my puffy eyes again?” Chaeyoung still wiped her tears and snort with the tissue then threw it away on the plastic bag she brought from the convenience store.

“Yes, you are right. Let me see how ugly your looks now,” Jaehyun was joking.

Chaeyoung turned her head and it made Jaehyun giggling. She also giggled because she could imagine how bad her face looked like right now.

“Are you still remember what Dara noona told us to do when we were fighting?” asked Jaehyun.

“Singing a Barney Song?” Chaeyoung was grinning when she remembered that day.

“Hahaha that’s true though but… What I mean is apologize. Well, Barney Song is one way to express your apology or a way to make up. But you just can’t randomly sing and dance to that song to people right? It’s must be funny to see though. Anyway, I think why you can’t see the girl and her Mom the same way as before is because you are embarrassed. You feel guilty about them because you did something bad for having a bad thought. And… as far as I know, an apology is the only way to get rid of the guilt. So, if you want to get your nice sleep back, knock their door and say your apology bravely,” Jaehyun said the closing speech of his advice and it made Chaeyoung looked away again. Now, she was thinking deeply about what he just said.

Jaehyun stood up. His bottom was getting numb because he was sitting on the cold chair. He stood in front of Chaeyoung and reach out his hand. Chaeyoung looked up and Jaehyun moved his hand as a gesture to tell her to hold it. Chaeyoung just stared at his hand and seemed like she had no intention to grab it. Jaehyun looked away for a second, took a deep breath, grabbed her wrists then pull her so that she would stand up. His action made her quite surprised. To make her even more surprised, he put both of her palms on her cheeks. She was jumped in shock and moved her hands away from her face.

“I guess you don’t need ice cubes to compress your swollen face,” Jaehyun was laughing at her reaction.

“How it become so cold? Oh My God!!” Chaeyoung was busy blew warm air from her breath to her palms, rubbed it together then put it on her cheeks.

“If you sat there for another minute, not only your palms, but your is gonna freeze too. So, come on. Let’s go find a warm place,” Jaehyun was taking his shopping bag and get ready to leave.

Chaeyoung automatically touches her . It’s freezing cold. She thought she must be going numb because of the cold. Before she was losing her nerves, it’s better to follow Jaehyun’s suggestion. She then running towards Jaehyun who already left and once she caught up with him, she apologized for making him stayed on this cold. Jaehyun smiled and said it’s okay because he still alive and not getting hypothermia.

“Thank you for today. Now my shoulder is as light as a feather. I guess I have to treat you something for the payment of the rent,” said Chaeyoung.

“Rent?” Jaehyun couldn’t understand what she meant.

“I rent your shoulder, remember?” she patted Jaehyun’s shoulder and it made him remember.

“Ah, that, I don’t think you rent it since it doesn’t feel heavy at all,” Jaehyun moved his shoulder as if he was warming up.

“I envy you. It’s must be nice to have that broad shoulder right? Anyway, do you want to eat something? In this weather, I crave something,” the cold weather and crying hard made her stomach began to crumble.

“Tom yam gong,” they both were saying it together and it made them laughed in joy. The temperature was getting lower and it made them hungrier. Without saying anything they increased their speed because the hot and spicy tom yam gong was waiting for them.

***

Namjoon opened the door while holding two shopping bags on his hand. He put down the bags then opened his coat and hanged it on the hanger. He was walking towards the living room and heard a familiar voice. It’s his Dad. He was curious because his Dad supposed to be in America right now. He didn’t even mention coming back to Korea this month. Through the voices, he could tell he was having a conversation with Mom and Chaeyoung. Getting curious, Namjoon walked to the living room to check on his Dad, but he didn’t see him.

“Oh, Namjoon! Come and greet your father!” Mom who saw him called him. Namjoon walked closer and found out they were having a video call with Dad. He awkwardly greeted him and left. His Dad complained but he didn’t care. Chaeyoung calmed Dad down and said he might feel embarrassed because she was there. Dad and Mom were laughing at how well Chaeyoung knew Namjoon’s character. Since Namjoon was present, they then ended the video call. Mom then walked to the kitchen to helped Mrs. Gong and Chaeyoung went to the library where Namjoon was waiting. Today was her tutoring schedule. Namjoon’s Mom invited her for lunch so that they didn’t study in the café. While waiting for lunch to be prepared, Chaeyoung decided to start the session.

Namjoon put down his pencil, leaned his head, and did some neck stretching. Seeing him like that made Chaeyoung decided to have 10 minutes break. They were already sitting and fully concentrating for 30 minutes. Although it’s still considered short it’s tiring because they were only focused on teaching and learning. Chaeyoung took her cup and sipped the warmed honey lemon tea.

“Why are you on a call with my Dad?” he asked the question that bothered him since he came to the house after grocery shopping.

“To talk about our possible future engagement,” Chaeyoung .

Namjoon showed a straight face expression and it made her laugh. He was really sensitive regarding this issue. That was why she loved to joke about it. Afraid Namjoon would get sulky Chaeyoung quickly told him the reason. She said she asked his Dad for help with her scholarship application. Since he had a great background as a professor and went to a prestigious college in America, she wanted to ask him to write a recommendation letter for her.

“You want to study in America?” Namjoon already knew about her Suneung result but didn’t expect she would apply to study abroad. He thought she would retake the exam next year.

Chaeyoung nodded and said her friend suggested take a scholarship program and it was worth trying. Of course, she would still prepare for retaking the Suneung test but she won’t waste this golden opportunity. The possibility was low but she prepared to give her the best. Namjoon nodded and encouraged her to do her best.

“Anyway, why are you so mean to me?” Chaeyoung suddenly talked in a whisper. Namjoon showed a confused expression.

“What are you talking about? And what’s with this sudden ASMR?” Namjoon replied with normal volume and it made Chaeyoung quickly put her index finger to her lips.

“Your girlfriend. I don’t know you have one. Seokjin Oppa told me that you proposed to lift the dating ban. He said it’s because you were having a girlfriend and since you successfully became the line-up of the AFC team, you asked it as a gift,” Chaeyoung continued to whisper. She was afraid Namjoon’s Mom will hear them. Since she didn’t know about the girlfriend, his Mom certainly had no idea too. It’s mean, he kept it as a secret.

Namjoon chuckled and said it wasn’t him. The rumor was about the former Captain and the one who submitted the proposal was also him. He was supposed to do it but the former captain insisted. While he was telling the story, he saw there was a change of expression on Chaeyoung’s face. He suddenly remembered that Chaeyoung had a crush on him so he felt guilty.

“But, of course, it’s just a rumor. He is still single. The reason to lift the dating ban was also not because one of us was caught dating. There was another reason. Jungkook Hyung was just unlucky. His picture when he visited the girl school was circulating on Senior’s group chat. So, they got mad at him. But, it’s not true. He was just visiting his friend,” while he was clearing out the misunderstanding, he glued his eyes on her. Her expression now became more relaxed than before and it made him relieved.

“Ah, that rumor. I know about it. I saw him at my school gate that day. His dating rumor with our cheerleader captain is an old story but I guess people still ship them together. However, I am so relieved. I thought it was you. I feel betrayed if it is true. How could you not tell me about this important matter,” Chaeyoung was glad because Namjoon was not betrayed her. Since she felt so close to him, she will be sad if he left her out on this matter.

“How about you? Are you still with that boy?” it’s his turn to ask.

“Boy? Which boy? Ah… you mean that boy? We broke up. A year ago. It’s a bad break up and we almost like a stranger now,” Chaeyoung was confused at his question at first but then remembered he had mistaken her for having a boyfriend. She already told him the truth but he was still thinking she had a boyfriend.

“For real? I thought you said you don’t have a boyfriend?” Namjoon surprised. All this time he thought she was lying by saying she didn’t have a boyfriend and that boy was just her crush. But, she told him now she broke up and it sounds so real because it was so detailed.

“You already know the answer and why you keep asking me about the boyfriend I never had? I don’t know whether you are joking or just mocking,” Chaeyoung showed an annoyed expression.

“Okay, okay, I am sorry. Anyway, don’t forget to come to my final match tomorrow. Maybe I can introduce you to one of my seniors,” Namjoon invited her to come to his match.

“Oh, I am so touched. You are thinking about this poor tutor romantic life. Hahaha… Don’t worry even if you don’t give that offer I still go and watch it. Well, enough with the chat let’s continue our study,” Chaeyoung opened the textbook again prepared to continue her tutoring session.

***

The referee blew the whistle and it made all the supporters jumped from their seat and screamed out of joy. The cold weather didn’t hold them for supporting their own team. Not only the supporter of the winning team but also the losing team also screamed their lung out to appreciate their good play. The players for both teams were also celebrating on the field. The winner was still busy hugging their coach and their teammate. The losing team also hugged and comforted each other. After they finished with their celebration both teams came to the middle of the field and hugged.

“Congratulations on snatching the autumn tournament trophy back to your school,” Jeno, the captain of the losing team reached out his hand.

“Thank you. Finally, it could return home again,” Namjoon shook his hand then hugged him.

“Be careful, we gonna steal that trophy back again,” Jeno smiled and patted his shoulder.

“Don’t worry I will tell my boys to be extra careful. They should practice harder than ever,” Namjoon’s word made both of the captains smiled.

After receiving their trophy and symbolic prize, they were taking commemorate pictures. Not only with their teammates but also with their seniors and their family. Jungkook came directly towards Namjoon and congratulate him. He was grateful because last year he failed to win this winter tournament. It’s because half of their players were scouted to become the Seoul National Team including himself. That’s why they only ended up as a runner up. Jungkook then continued to congratulate each of his juniors one by one.

Someone tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook turned his head and saw Jaehyun was smiling. He chuckled then walked towards the edge of the field. They both standing there and observing the activities that were on the field. It felt so nostalgic for both of them.

“Haechanie is Seungkwan’s friend, right? I remembered last year Seungkwan asked me whether the transfer student can join our team. As I recalled it again, there is no new member of the transfer student. Hey, you are close with him, right? From his performances, I could tell he loves soccer and his ability is no joke. Why he isn’t joining our team?” Jungkook asked Jaehyun when still looking at the euphoria.

Jaehyun didn’t answer right away. He was busy looking for Haechan in that crowded field. He then began answering Jungkook’s question after he found him. What Jungkook said about him was right. Actually, Jaehyun also didn’t know about the real reason, but it seems like it was due to friendship he had with his former team’s members. He spent his first semester with his former team. They were practicing so hard and went through hell together. That was why their bond was so tight.

“You should understand it better than anyone else. Do you know why our team has a strong bond? Because we spent that hell together. We support each other when one of us was about to give up. And why we become close friends? Remember that time when we skip the practice together because Mingyu was about to give up? We received that harsh punishment together. It’s the same for him. We promise that we will fight and win together. But, what happened if one day I stand on the same field and become your enemy? It’s hard you know. To betrayed your friend. That was his situation,” Jaehyun was answering while still looking at Haechan who was busy taking pictures with his pretty friends.

Hearing Jaehyun’s answer made Jungkook could understand Haechan’s situation. But, at the same time, there was another question that appeared on his mind. Why Haechan suddenly changed his mind? What was the reason? At first, he tried to figure it out himself but he gives up. He then asked Jaehyun about it.

“Perhaps, it’s because of his love for soccer. Deep inside his heart, he might want to run on the field again,”

“But why he asked for such a condition if he wants to play again?”

“He was seeking for a strong reason that can convince his heart to accept that offer. Sometimes, when you are struggling between your brain or your heart, you will seek a help from third party to decide. In his case, I think one of the reasons he chooses that wish was because he knew it was a nearly impossible wish to grant. If you choose to grant it, then it means you are desperate for his help and he will follow his heart to play soccer again. Otherwise, he will not come back to the field again if you reject it,” Jungkook nodded at Jaehyun’s answer. That kid was amazing. He wasn’t just a smart and mischievous boy but also had a deep thought.

While Jungkook was admiring Haechan’s thought, Jaehyun was looking at his phone and suddenly excuse himself. He said he wanted to meet his friends to take pictures. Jungkook smiled and told him to go. Once Jaehyun left, Namjoon came to him. He lifted his hand and waved to Namjoon. With a little run, Namjoon came over to him.

As soon as Namjoon came, Jungkook was talking about their performances. He kept praising their amazing play today. He praised Namjoon for leading the team well. Namjoon couldn’t hold his smile because he was very proud of his achievement as a captain. He also thanked the seniors because they gave good advice and became their role model so that his team could be better. As gratitude, he invited the third grade senior to their celebration party. Jungkook thanked them and it’s okay to invite them but please do not disappoint if they don’t come. Right now, their priority was to study and pass the Suneung. The seniors might look playful but they were serious about their future.

“Thank you for the invitation but I can’t come to the party. I want to let you guys give appreciation for yourself for your hard work. Hey, it seems like they are looking for you,” Jungkook refused Namjoon’s invitation politely.

“I think so,” Namjoon could hear they were calling his name.

Before Namjoon left, Jungkook asked him to text him once he was about to leave for the party. He wanted to return the notebook Namjoon’s tutor lend to him. He wanted to return it now but it will trouble Namjoon since he still in the middle of the celebration. Namjoon then said he didn’t have to return it because it was just a copy.

“I don’t need it anymore. So you should keep it since you will need it next year. Anyway please relay my gratitude to your tutor,” said Jungkook.

“Ah, right. You once asked me about her, right? Let’s say your gratitude directly to her,” Namjoon remembered the first day they return to school.

“What? Did I say that? Hahaha, I can’t recall. Anyway, let’s just relay my gratitude. Hurry, go they were calling for you,” Jungkook refused his offer and pushed him away. Namjoon wanted to insist but he had no time to do it. With a heavy heart, he left him and run back to his teammate.

The crowd on the field was slowly disappeared. There were only a few players left. Jungkook saw Namjoon was having an interview with a local newspaper. It seems like it would take long for him. Should he return the book later? He would meet him at school anyway. Why bother to return it now? Jungkook was also confused with what he just did. He was about to send a text to Namjoon when he saw Haechan was finished taking pictures with the opponent team.

“Oiii Lee Haechan!!” Jungkook called Haechan from afar. Haechan turned his head to the source of the voice. He was then running as soon as he saw Jungkook.

“Woah, my suffering from getting scolded by the seniors is paid back. Look at this guy, the top scorer of the Winter Tournament! Thank you for lending us your amazing talent,” Jungkook hugged him and relay his gratitude.

“I told you right? I always try my best. Now, I have no debt with you since I pay it back,” Haechan suddenly hand out an invisible paper to Jungkook. Jungkook smiled then took that paper and signed it.

“Yes, now you are free from debt. Thank you once again,” Jungkook form a fist and Haechan bumped into it. After congratulating him, they heard someone was calling Haechan to do some interviews.

“Can you give this book to Namjoon?” Jungkook suddenly handed out the book to Haechan. He thought he’d better return the book as soon as possible. And since Namjoon will take long, it’s better for him to not waiting. Haechan took the book and saw it. He nodded and said he will give it to Namjoon.

“You unexpectedly write neat notes,” Haechan commented on the book while they were walking towards the waiting room.

“What? Why do you think I write neat notes?”

“This book. Isn’t it yours? And also, I saw your other notebook too last year. I accidentally found it when I went to the café. When I returned it, you are not in your class so I gave it to Mingyu Sunbae,” Haechan told him the story he first hears.

Jungkook was curious about that notebook since Mingyu didn’t give anything to him. But, before he asked further about the detail, Haechan already excuses himself because his friend told him to hurry.

What is it? Notebook? Which notebook? It’s similar to that book I just returned to Namjoon? But, Mingyu never give anything back to me? Seriously, what is going on here?