Yoongi the hippo ran in the fields. He is a communist who escaped from Hitman Bang, the president of Russia. Now he’s on his way to freedom. He ran to Siberia.

Yoongi the hippo ran until he saw a circus. He got into the circus and made his dream as a hippo cannon ball true. He was a very successful circus hippo. In the circus, he met Jungkook the donkey. Jungkook the donkey was a donkey orphan and Yoongi the hippo adopted him as his little brother. Jungkook the donkey was very happy.

One day, Yoongi the hippo made instant noodles on a portable stove, but before he could eat the noodles, Jungkook the donkey ate them. Yoongi the hippo was very sad, so he ate a superant and with his new Superman powers, he made new noodles that weren’t instant.

Then one day, Yoongi the hippo and Jungkook the donkey met Taehyung the cow. Taehyung the cow was a circus cow who was a ballerina. He had a pink tutu. Yoongi the hippo thought Taehyung the cow was cute.

The circus director was an so Yoongi the hippo, Jungkook the donkey and Taehyung the cow escaped. They ran to the Ural mountains and on top of the mountain, they found pastel colored trees. They built a treehouse into the pink tree. Yoongi the hippo started growing carrots.

Life was good until the dry season started. Now life was hard.

Yoongi the hippo and Jungkook the donkey built a catapult to hunt birds with. They flung Taehyung the cow to the sky to catch birds for food.

Then, one day Jungkook the donkey ran inside the tree house to tell unbelievable news. All three of them ran outside. A voice in the sky said.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s a flying elephant with a monkey on his trunk!

The flying elephant squirted water from his trunk, wetting the land and saving the carrots from a horrible death. The flying animals landed. Taehyung the cow gave them mangos. Jin the elephant and Namjoon the monkey never left. They made another tree house to the purple tree and connected it to the pink tree via a suspension bridge.

One day, Jungkook the donkey wanted to go frisbee golfing. So they started running to Finland where the best frisbee golf courses were located. On their way, they met Jimin the antelope. He became their friend and all six of them ran to the border of Finland. They ran to Karkkila, where the absolute best frisbee golf course was.

After playing, they wanted to go to IKEA. There, Jungkook the donkey was shocked because the designer, by the artist name Supremeboi, had stolen his own designs. Jungkook the donkey told his friends that he was a furniture designer and had worked with Supremeboi before Supremeboi the giraffe sold him to the circus. Everyone was shocked.

Yoongi the hippo was angry and ran to Supremeboi the giraffe’s office. He pulled out his AK-47 from his pocket and brutally slaughtered Supremeboi the giraffe. Then they bought a few lamps and a new sofa and a coffee table.

On their way home, Yoongi the hippo told his peeps that he used to be a KGB agent with Hitman Bang, the current president of Russia before Hitman Bang the president of Russia said: Lol you’re my pet now nyah-nyah! And then Yoongi the hippo had run to the circus.

When they made it home, they made a bonfire as an honor for the sun from the Teletubbies. Namjoon the monkey played the balalaika because he had hands. Gods of the overworld really like when Namjoon the monkey played the balalaika so they sent down a blue tree from the heavens. Namjoon the monkey doesn’t wear any underwear, just a shower cap. You never know if the gods piss on you.

Then came a big ice storm and everything froze, like in Frozen. Olaf the snowman was nowhere to be seen though and Taehyung the cow was sad. It was very cold and cold. The carrots died. Yoongi the hippo was sad. He liked carrots with his morning coffee.

Then one day, there was a pink glitter cloud on top of their treehouses. They went outside to look at the cloud when they heard a voice say.

He’s your hope, he’s your angel, J-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!

From the cloud, came down a red, fire breathing pig who melted all the ice. Hoseok the pig became their new friend. Hoseok the pig and Jimin the antelope were good friends because both of them liked jumping.

Yoongi the hippo planted new carrots and also orange trees because Brad Pitt is Batman. Jin the elephant made nail polish from the oranges because he is fabulous. And Super Mario.

Once Hoseok the pig wanted to go to Switzerland, so the seven of them went to Switzerland. They all, except Jin the elephant and Namjoon the monkey, took hang gliders and jumped off of a cliff and flew to Switzerland. They spent a fun day in Switzerland.

On their way back, they were stopped by the mafia of Estonia. The mafia wanted to take Yoongi the hippo with them. Yoongi the hippo challenged them to a game of rock-paper-scissors. If Yoongi the hippo wins, they won’t take him. Yoongi the hippo won because he’s the best hardcore rock-paper-scissors player in the Universum. Then our friends went home and lived as a family for the rest of their lives. :)

Congrats! You just wasted your time by reading this and I’m not even sorry.