Flashback

Blankly, Jongin stared at the horizon right in front of him. It’s drizzling and it’s a bit cold but none of that mattered to him. His eyes were bloodshot red and his lips were turning blue. As the wind blew harder, he blinked before looking down. He was standing on the ledge of hospital building. He felt no fear but just that heavy feeling weighing his heart down in guilt.

He took a little step to the edge. From up there, the people looked like ants.

He shut his eyes.

He took another step.

“KIM JONGIN!!!”

Jieun’s voice pierced through the sound of the roaring thunder and Jongin felt like he woke up from a dream. Slowly, he turned around. Jieun was staring at him while catching her breath. She was wearing a black dress, matching his all black mourning clothes.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!!” she screamed, angry and frustrated at the same time.

“Eun,” he muttered, sounding so distant and looking so blank.

Jieun stretched her arm, trying to reach for him. “Get down from there,” she said, taking a step towards him. Jongin just stared at her. “Please, get down from there,” she repeated. Her voice was already shaking from fear.

“I…can’t live with this guilt. It’s suffocating me.” Jongin’s voice was soft.

Jieun shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault so don’t think about it.”

Jongin bit his lip, lowering his head. “If it wasn’t because of me, he wouldn’t have been in that alley. If…I just listened to him…If I just listened to him, he wouldn’t have died…” he trailed off.

“Jongin,” she mumbled.

He lifted his head and she could see his tears flowing down his cheeks. “How could I face my parents now? Their perfect son is dead because of me…” He paused for some seconds. “How could I go on with my life?”

“I’ll hold your hand and pull you,” she replied. “I’ll be with you so you can go through it…so…live. Please. Please. Jongin.”

A small smile crept on his face.

Noticing that he’s not convinced at all, Jieun took all the courage inside her and walked briskly towards the ledge that he was standing on. In the midst of the pouring rain and the roaring thunder, Jieun climbed up and stood beside him. He stared at her and she reached for his hand.

“I’ll hold your hand just like how you held mine all through this time. So…if you’re going to jump, I’ll do the same.” Jieun sounded so brave but Jongin could see the fear in her eyes. He could see himself in her.

“Eun.”

“I’m not letting go. I’m not letting you go.”

End of Flashback

Jongin couldn’t hear a thing when he stepped out of the cab. He couldn’t care less even if the sound of the sirens is deafening. He could only feel his hands turning cold and his heart pounding hard in fear. For the past months, he’s been into a lot of emotional ups and downs. When he heard that Chanyeol’s being treated after getting into an accident, he lost all the rationality in the world.

When he stepped into the emergency room, he quickly looked around. “Eun,” he muttered as he walked through the aisle, looking from left to right, trying to spot where Jieun is. Just behind him, Sehun was also doing the same. “Eun,” he muttered once again.

“Excuse me.”

The nurse turned to Jongin when he grabbed her by the arm. “There was motorbike accident nearby, w-where are-”

“Ah, were you the one who called a while back?”

Jongin nodded right away. “W-Where are th-”

“Jongin?”

Sehun and Jongin quickly looked back when they heard Chanyeol’s voice. The latter was sitting on the bed while wincing a bit as he tried to move. His right arm was in a cast and his suit was obviously messed up. There was a band aid on his forehead. At first glance, it looked like just a small scratch. Jongin and Sehun walked towards him.

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol asked right away. “I thought you have a part in the auction. Why-”

“Where’s Jieun?” Jongin questioned, sounding tensed.

“J-Jieun? She’s not with me.”

“W-What? I thought you waited for her and…” Jongin paused as he took a deep breath in relief. Sehun shut his eyes, thanking the heavens that Jieun’s not involved in the accident. As the orange head turned around, he saw Jieun entering the emergency room while looking so worried.

“Jieun,” Sehun muttered.

Finding the three near the corner, Jieun ran towards them and immediately hugged Chanyeol. The latter yelped in surprise but immediately smiled that Jieun’s there. “I almost had a heart attack when Junmyeon called me. He said you were in some kind of accident.” As she pulled away, she examined Chanyeol’s injuries.

“I’m fine. I just injured my arm. That black SUV suddenly came swerving when I was supposed to cross so…here I am…with a cast,” Chanyeol stated, giving her a small smile to make her feel better. Jieun sighed in relief that her friend’s better than what she thought happened. She came to a realization that Sehun and Jongin were also there so she looked at them.

Jongin was staring at her with an unexplainable expression. His eyes were glistening and when he looked away, Jieun saw a tear fell from his eyes. Jongin quickly calmed himself and looked back at her. “I just lost 10 years of my life when I heard that Chanyeol was involved in an accident. I thought you were with him,” Jongin stated.

“I had to do some stuff for Sooyoung unnie so I just took a taxi. My phone was in silent mode so I did not notice that you called for like 30 times. Sorry…for making you worried and-”

Stop.

Jieun could feel Jongin’s hands trembling as he pulled her into a tight hug. “Stop making me worry. My heart will not be able to take any of this anymore so…don’t make me worry,” Jongin whispered.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“The longer you stay there, the harder it will be for you.”

Sehun sighed as he pressed his phone on his ear. “I know,” he mumbled.

“If you know then why are you still going around the bush?”

Looking down at the ground, Sehun took a lungful of air. “It’s just that…I can’t bring myself to do it. I think I will not be able to do it.”

“You’ve grown closer to them?”

Sehun bit his lip. “Yeah.”

“It’s not part of the plan. Sehun, you’ll be the one who’ll be hurt in the end if you don’t do it.”

“I know. But…Youngho, I think I’ll be able to live it.”

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