“Babe.”

“Hmm?”

“I just realize, you never tell me about yourself.”

I open up my arms as she immediately join me on the couch, placing herself in between my arms.

Tangling my fingers in between her hair, I ask curiously, “What do you want to know about me?”

Tiffany moves up a bit so that she can clearly see my face with her back presses against my front. She takes out her hand to touch my cheek as she sighs, “Anything. Anything that you want to tell me.”

I let my head down closer so I can look at her eyes clearly. Then, I don’t know why but I feel like my own eyes are burning. The moment I utter my next words, I can’t even believe I say it out loud.

“I want my family back.”

She stops running her fingers over my skin as confusion is written all over her face. “What do you mean?”

Turning my gaze to the dark sky outside the window, my mind is taking me back to several years ago. Then, pieces of puzzles that form the memory of my childhood come back to haunt me.

“I never know who my real parents are. All I know when I was a child was just the orphanage that I lived in.”

I feel Tiffany’s hand gripping mine tightly. I know, she is shocked to hear it.

“Until one day, I was adopted by a middle-aged couple. I remember how I finally understood the definition of home was. But when I was in secondary school, my parents became so busy that I could barely saw them. Maybe they thought I was big enough to take care of myself.”

I sigh when I recall those time I spent alone after school. Even on my birthdays, I just received text messages and my graduation...they broke their promise to come.

“At first, I thought it was fine. But whenever I came home, I felt so empty that it’s killing me. So, my life started to change in high school. I was a troublemaker, a sinner.”

I look at her to seek any change of expression on her face, but she seems calm as her hand never leaves mine.

“I hurted lots of people that I didn’t know if I was even human.” I sigh as I look down, I can’t even look at her face anymore when I remember what I’ve done.

“Tell me, I want to know.”  Tiffany turned her body to look at me face to face when she notices the way my body tensed up. She cups both of my cheeks to bring my head up so she can gazes into my eyes, as if looking straight at my soul.

“I’m not the perfect lover that you think, Fany-ah.”

Unexpectedly, she leans in closer to peck my lips as the warm smile lighten up her face. “Same as me. No one is perfect, we both know that, babe.”

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes as my sins that are still keep on haunting me comes out from the deepest part of my heart that I’ve forgotten.

I walked away from her but not even leaving any further, she already slapped me right at my right cheek.“You’re such a player!”

Sighing, I looked up with my usual stoic face as I talked calmly, “Yes I am. Everyone knows it, including you. So why did you bother to accept being my date anyway?”

I shook my head and took another steps as I walked passed her, leaving her behind, only to stop again when I heard someone’s yelling at me.

“Because I wanted to change you! I wanted you to become a good person.”

Biting my lip, I turned back only to ask, “Why?”

“I care about you, don’t you feel it?”

Care. I felt nauseous when I remembered my mom used to tell me that. My dad used to prove it with action. But where are they now?

Smiling bitterly, the only words that could came out from my mouth were just, “I don’t believe you.”

.

I quickly looked away so she can only landed her lips on my cheek.

“Why can't I kiss you?”

I knew, I just hurted someone’s heart again. But I didn't even feel sorry, I couldn't felt anything anyway. My heart was as cold as ice.

“I never let anyone kiss me on the lips. Sorry.”

Even my voice sounds so flat with no emotion at all. I don't understand why girls throw themselves at me. Someone who doesn't even knows the meaning of love.