xXV. soft moments iiI

  "You think anyone would realise if I start riding your in the middle of the night?" 

  Anyone less experienced would merely choke on their water and need some thumping on the back to get the shock off, but Daehyun had been so accustomed to Hyunwook's craziness that he only sighed.

  "Yeah, they'll probably notice if you break the bed because you're too , Hyunnie." He ruffled the other boy's hair as Hyunwook huffed. It was the dead of night, and everyone was asleep. Well, everyone except Hyunwook, apparently. He claimed that the reason he decided to stay by his bedside while he heal was because he wanted to be by his side as long as humanely possible before he had to go back to Canada, but with what he just said, Daehyun knew better. 

  "What if I promise I won't break the bed?" There was a little whine at the end of his sentence, and Hyunwook grabbed at his hand that was hanging by his side. 

   Daehyun chuckled. "Why, are you that desperate?" 

   Instead of replying, Hyunwook merely leaned forward. Daehyun was aware that he was kissing him, but he felt no rush in his chest, only a sense of being blank. It could be because the excitement from being kissed made his mind go blank, but Daehyun doubted it. Clearly Hyunwook noticed it too, because he pulled away a little quicker than usual, the hurt all evident on his face. "You don't love me anymore," He accused.

   "And you," Daehyun bopped him on his nose. "Need to go to sleep."

   "Yeah, tell my anxiety to shut the up, maybe." The younger boy sighed, and rested his head onto Daehyun's lap, his chair scrapping the floor echoing in the silence, making him wince. Luckily, no one seemed to wake up from that. 

   "By the way, you never told me why you came back so quickly from Canada," Daehyun pointed out, reaching out to card his fingers through Hyunwook's hair, playing absent-mindedly with the black strands. "Did something happen?"

   Immediately, Hyunwook tensed up. "Yeah, something did happen," He mumbled into his arms. 

   "Want to talk about it?" Daehyun continued playing with his hair, knowing this helped the other relax. "Not really."

   "Okay." And that was it. Hyunwook was never one big for sharing, and he had no interest to pry anything out of him if he didn't want to share. He continued combing his fingers through his hair for almost ten minutes, until he was sure Hyunwook had fallen asleep, before the younger mumbled something. 

  "What?"

  "I said, maybe I should just tell you."

  "Well, you don't have to if you don't want to." 

  "But I want to," Hyunwook insisted stubbornly. Daehyun waited for a bit, for his survival instincts to fade away. "I told Patrick about my past. The kid heard me sharing it."

  He wasn't sure what to say, but luckily Hyunwook continued. "The worst part is Patrick telling me no one was listening in. I trusted him, Dae. I trusted him because you told me to." When his voice cracked a little at that, clearly overwhelmed, Daehyun could feel his heart breaking a little. "I - I don't know what to believe anymore." 

  Daehyun exhaled. Patrick was indeed trustworthy, and he was sure the Branch Head didn't have any malicious intent when talking to Hyunwook, but he understood where he came from - it was a breach of trust, and usually hard-won trust, because Hyunwook never trusts anyone that easily. It usually takes about one year into a relationship before he was willing to show himself to anyone (speaking from personal experience), so taking Daehyun's word for something just proved how much his boyfriend trusted him. On one hand, he was glad that Hyunwook placed so much trust on him, but on another, he felt sorry that he had betrayed his trust. "I'm sorry, Hyunnie," He mumbled.

  Hyunwook shook his head. "I don't want an apology. I know what you're trying to do. But I don't want that."

  "What do you want, then?" 

  "I - I don't know. I don't know, that's the problem. That's why I'm here." His voice was muffled by his arms, but when he raised his head, Daehyun could glimpse the shimmering in his eyes that could only be tears. "D-Dae. You know I already can't trust people, and - and this happened, and I don't want to make anyone mad, and now Patrick's overstepping the boundaries, and I really don't want to offend anyone because I got overwhelmed and walked out, but I actually did that so that's basically unretrievable, and now I'm panicking because my anxiety is overwhelming, and - and - and - " He took a deep breath, eyes wide-blown. "And now I can't breath because I'm overwhelmed and I don't know what to do - " 

  "Okay." It was 1am in the morning, and Daehyun felt his eyelids dropping, but at that moment he knew he had to stay awake. He grabbed Hyunwook's hand, and placed it onto his chest. "Breath with me." He stared into the other's eyes, letting him have a place to anchor his sight onto, and made sure he took deep, deliberate breaths, all the while counting. "Inhale, one, two, three, four, five. Now exhale, one, two, three, four, five..." 

 And on it went, until Hyunwook's breathing slowly steadied. As he calmed down gradually, Daehyun discretely passed him a glass of water, which he gulped down. "Feel better?" He asked quietly, Hyunwook's back.

  "Yeah. Much better." He placed the glass on his bedside table, before wiping his eyes with the back of his  hand. "I still don't know what to do though. I just - Can you give me a solution instead of comforting me?"

   "Sleep is usually the best solution." 

   Hyunwook smacked the side of his shoulder. "Thanks, genius." 

  "I'm serious," Daehyun rubbed his arm resentfully. "And stop hitting me, you moron, my arm's broken." The other mumbled a silent apology. "You need sleep. You haven't slept since you came to Headquarters, have you?" Hyunwook looked away, and Daehyun sighed. "Get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." 

   He immediately knew that was the wrong response when the other's shoulders tensed up. "...Or not." The realisation that Hyunwook hated sleeping alone because of his nightmares hit him at that moment. "Okay. Well, can you at least take a shower? You're sweaty from sparring with Yongguk." Hyunwook immediately perked up like a cat. "And change into something comfy." 

  An hour and a shower later, a very sleepy Daehyun was having his fingers played by a very awake Hyunwook, who was lying by his side. The hospital bed certainly wasn't made for two people, and he became painfully aware of the fact when his left (and broken) arm lying outside of his bedsheets. 

  "You know," He began after a long silence. "You're too tall to fit in a bed made for one person your size with me." 

  "Yeah, but one never gets too tall for affection," Hyunwook sighed, somewhat sentimentally. "What was that story - a grown man being too tall but still sleeps in his childhood bed?"

  "Something like that." Daehyun was aware that his boyfriend was mumbling into his fingers, lips brushing against his skin, but he tried to ignore it. The blood rushing into his ears and the loud thumping of his heart that he could hear was proving otherwise, though. 

  "And besides, it's your fault that you're too tall, Dae."

  "My fault?" Jolted out of his drowsy state, Daehyun found himself being a little offended. "So it's my fault that I love you too much, is it, now?"

  "I didn't say that." Hyunwook shifted, and pulled on Daehyun's nape to make him face himself. Daehyun was glad that the lighting was dim, because he could feel his cheeks were heating up as he lay nose-to-nose with the other boy. Hyunwook, however, remained unfazed despite the proximity - as he always did. "But it is your fault for not loving me enough."

   Daehyun was about to protest that because there was no proof, any or otherwise that he didn't love Hyunwook enough - in fact, the statement was probably proof that he had spoiled him too much - but just when he was about to open his mouth to say this, Hyunwook leaned in again. 

  Unlike the previous kiss, it wasn't desperate, nor was there anything behind it. It was just a simple kiss - except it was the kind that made you warm from head to toe, and he could feel a rush of excitement into the pit of his stomach. Daehyun was aware of one thing, and that was the softness of Hyunwook's lips, but otherwise his mind went blank. In that single moment, all he could feel was a sense of euphoria and fuzzy warmth - similar to how he kissed his boyfriend for the first time.

  He wasn't even aware that Hyunwook had pulled away until he dug an elbow into his side. "You're having that dumb look on your face."

   "Hey, I don't have a dumb look on my face."

  "Yes, you do. When you're zoned out because something went to your head. I see this look whenever our professors praise you." 

   Daehyun felt scandalized. "I do not have this look when professors praise me."

   "Okay. When I praise you. Happy?" 

   In response he merely planted another kiss on his lips. He could feel Hyunwook's frown soften under his lips, except it again ended way earlier than he wanted to. "Happy. I'm the luckiest man in the world." 

  "Not ending up with me, you don't." He elbowed him again. "Your standards are really low, aren't they?" 

  "Yeah, but I have taste." Daehyun bopped Hyunwook on the nose again. "Alright, let's sleep. The compliments are fizzling out soon."

 "Sorry," Hyunwook sighed. "I had a rough few days." Immediately he snuggled up against Daehyun, and his right hand that was being kissed earlier looped up around his neck, pulling him closer by his nape. He could feel the other's body heat - for some reason Hyunwook's body temperature was a default freezing even in summer. Maybe it was because of his Unseelie ancestry. "Goodnight, Dae." His voice was muffled from his face being buried into his neck, and Daehyun was about to settle in to sleep, when - 

   "Hyunnie! Your goddamn feet!" Hyunwook's frozen feet, which snuck on top of his, jolted him out of his blissful slumber. 

   "Whoops."  

CARDS HQ 
— turkey. 29.7.2017

   "Room for one more?" 

   Alex looked up from the amber liquid he was swirling absent-mindedly around his whiskey glass, before tilting his head at Yongguk as he sat down on the bar stool next to him. "Always" with the slightest hint of a tug at the corner of his lips.

   "Not the best time to drink whiskey on rocks," The leader nodded at Alex's drink after he placed an order for umeshu, which Alex replied with a snort. "On the contrary. There is never an inappropriate time for whiskey." 

   "Why the umeshu?" 

   Yongguk shrugged as he accepted the glass from the bartender, whom he gave a friendly nod at. "CARDS seems to always have the best stocks of Japanese plum wines in their cellars." 

   "Owing to a certain bartender who works at a Japanese sushi bar?"

 The younger chuckled, letting the sweet taste of the drink wash through his taste buds. "Possibly." 

  Alex seemed to give that some thought, before turning on his bar stool so that his back faced the bartender, who was straightening the alcohol cabinet at the back of the bar. "You don't usually order sweet drinks like these. What's the matter?" 

  "Exhaustion and fatigue?" Yongguk tried, deliberately keeping his eyes straight ahead. Alex made an impatient noise at that. "Alright. How about anxiety and worry?" 

  "Better explanation, but worse situation." Out of the corner of his eye, Yongguk could sense Alex turning around and giving a curt nod to the young bartender. A few moments later, there was the sound of the door shutting, and the two were alone in the bar - no one comes to the CARDS bar at two in the morning. "But I understand. It's no time to relax." 

  "We underestimated Gemini," Yongguk agreed. Standing up, he made his way to one of the more comfortable lounge chairs in the corner, and eased himself onto the soft velvet with a groan. Alex followed suit, and he leaned his head against the cushion, feeling the tension leak out of his body. "To think that their fighter defeated both of ours so easily..." He shuddered. "I wonder how strong the rest of them exactly are."

   "Indeed." The leader cocked his eyebrow as he raised the glass to his lips. Alex had hesitated just for the slightest fraction before replying; it wasn't obvious, but having spent so much time with him, Yongguk could read the other quite clearly, if he could say so himself. Noticing, the tactician sighed. "If you really want to know, Helena gave me something."

   "Info from Gemini?" 

  "Not exactly." There it is, the hint of hesitancy again. "It's a communication device from Gemini." 

  "Well, that's good news, isn't it?" Leaning forward, Yongguk grabbed one of the chocolates in the bowl sitting in the middle of the coffee table. Godiva. Making a face, he put it back. He hated dark chocolate. "We could use it to spy on them." 

   "It's just that...we don't know Gemini's tricks, and it's possible that any attempt at trying to hack their base might backfire greatly." Under the dim lighting, it was really difficult to see, but Yongguk managed to fish out a milk chocolate. Unwrapping it, he popped it into his mouth. "I'm just saying," Alex shrugged. 

   "Mmh," Yongguk nodded. He didn't have a mind as spectacular as that of Alex's, but he had great observation skills and even he could see the other being up to something. Deciding not to expose him or say anything, he swallowed the sweet mass in his mouth and downed it with more alcohol. "Well, I'm sure Vidya would be able to do something about it. She's our technical magician, right?" 

   "I suppose so." Alex leaned forward and plucked a chocolate for himself, letting the sweet roll between his fingers absent-mindedly. "She'll definitely be the one to send stuff like this to."

  "Well, that's resolved then." Yongguk crumbled up the chocolate wrapper in his palm and stood up. "Thanks for telling me that, Alex." Making sure to look the other man straight in the eye, he gave a small smile, and pat him on the back. "Get some rest. We hvave long days ahead of us."

   Alex nodded, and downed his whiskey, preparing to leave. Just as Yongguk was about to go, a sudden thought hit him.

   "Alex, you said it was no time to relax, right?"

   "I...suppose I did. Why?"

   "What were you doing here then? You never drink unless you're completely free." 

   "Daehyun, as my superior, gave me an order to take a break." A shrug. "But evidently the devil had other plans for me, seeing as he sent you to bother me with your worries."

   "That's mean." 

   "It's called being truthful. Deal with it." 

Long time no see my friends I am t i r e d 

It's going to be exams season soon and I spent my whole Easter holiday in the library but I achieved probably nothing. Right now I have a headache and neck and back cramps because the bed in my dorm is  

Anyways I got all of my university offers and now I need to pick one firm choice and insurance choice and I'm struggling between these two schools? So school #1 has the best programme for my degree (International Relations) in the whole world and you'll be a legit idiot to not accept because, yeah. School #2 is more chill, and they have a more liberal arts programme where you can choose your combination, and they give you a year abroad in Japan. Thereoratically I can do IR in school #2 and pick another programme I want to do (cough cough, English) there which is yay. But if I go to #1 I can also transfer to a IR and History programme which I wouldn't die

The main reason for picking #2 is because of the campus because it does have a campus?? In central London?? And #1 is just one freaking building and I hated it when I went there before urgh. But also like, ~prestige~ 

Oh yeah one other big issue I'm having is the student accomodation; I heard for school #2 you rank all the London student accomodation and then they assign you one, whereas you apply directly for school #1. I really really REALLY want this dorm which has ensuite + super close to uni and one of my closest friends in my current school are going to be there so. 

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