Moondust Chapter 10

Song for this chapter// Dear Name by IU

“The voice I long for even in my dreams

I call out the name but there’s no answer

Only the tearful echo returns

Through the night that was endlessly long and thick and dark

I know your wish has silently disappeared” 

Sungjae~

“Her hands…” 

BoGum breathed in sharply, suspending the tears in his bloodshot eyes. Blood covered his worn plaid shirt like dark sweat stains all over his chest and stomach. He sat on the ground of the hospital floor with his knees folded toward him. I went over to hold his trembling hands, but they were covered in blood just like that night. The similarities of tonight with the past angered me. I held onto his hands and muttered to myself. 

“This can’t be happening again...” 

“YooJung… she caught the knife with her hands…” BoGum’s words were hard to understand as he kept blubbering through his tears. He began to hyperventilate until SoHyun crouched in front of him and helped him with his breathing. I sat on the floor of the hospital waiting room, praying for YooJung to make it out alive when her surgeon approached us.

“How badly is YooJung hurt?” SoHyun asked, needing to know how she was.

“Who’s her guardian? Let me speak to Kim YooJung’s guardian.” I clenched my jaw, recalling how SoHyun and I were prohibited from entering the ICU because we were minors and didn’t have identification. And now, we were being overlooked just because of our young ages yet again.

“We’re her guardians.” SoHyun and I spoke firmly as if that could help the doctor take us more seriously. We helped BoGum off the ground to listen to what the doctor had to say. 

“Oh. YooJung’s surgery went well. We were able to successfully repair the damage from the stab wound, however it’s her hands that we’re worried about.” I could feel the blood draining from my face when I heard those words. 

“She’s a pianist. Her hands are her life. Are you saying that she won’t be able to play the piano?” BoGum inquired with tears threatening to spill from his tired eyes. He looked as frenzied as I felt in this situation. 

“That is a possibility. YooJung will be transferred to the ICU and you will be able to visit her starting tomorrow.” 

Before leaving he turned toward BoGum and said, “Head to the ER and tell them Bae HyunSeung sent you. They’ll take care of you in no time.” 

The doctor padded BoGum’s shoulder, which was nice of him. Taking another look at the middle aged man with graying hair, I recognized him as the same doctor that operated on YooJung and BoGum that night. He must have recognized BoGum as well. 

I looked toward SoHyun, who silently stood with anger burning in her eyes. I understood why. She was angry as I was that tonight was a repeat of that devastating night. All I could do was stand behind them as BoGum fell to the floor, sobbing and proclaiming how this was all his fault.  That because of him YooJung would lose the one thing that brought her joy and helped her overcome her grief. 

“I’m so sorry. This is my fault. Please let me take her place. Please. I beg you. I’m sorry for wishing that I would die. I’m sorry.” 

 BoGum’s eyes turned blood red from all the tears that left him. He got on his knees and prayed. He kneeled on the cold marble floor of the hospital with his hands folded together, saying his first prayer in years since his father died and he survived a fatal stab wound. Moroseness crashed over me, seeing him pray. Ever since he survived, he lived with anger and resentment in his heart. He stopped showing up at the church and nursed a bottle of soju whenever he couldn’t sleep. The boy that prayed every night for his mom’s health to recover and his father to be happy grew resentful and stopped believing when his mother died, his father grew miserable, and he survived an attack that scarred him. 

“I’m sorry. My last prayer was to die so that I could be with my parents, but I realize that was wrong of me. So please let YooJung play the piano. Please let her hands heal…Please...” 

BoGum’s shoulders trembled violently as sobs wracked his body. The surgical center’s lights that lit up the transparent doors outlined BoGum’s praying figure, resembling the altar that he left behind a long time ago. 

Contusions splotched BoGum’s torso and his left eye was swollen with a thin cut underneath his brow. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen from all the crying. The doctor that came over to inspect his injuries asked what happened but no one could say. 

“Do we need to call the authorities? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, sir. I’m okay.” BoGum lowered his head, while I let out a shaky breath. We had no choice to be dishonest. Nothing could be done about the fact that YooJung’s parents had taken out personal loans. Nothing could be done about the fact that loan sharks were in a league of their own, untouchable by law enforcement and feared by their debtors.