Through the window Dokyeom examined an older man in rugged jeans and a striped blue shirt accept a black bag from you. As the man walked to place the bag into the trunk, Dokyeom ran over to his door. His heart raced faster than he could think, and it didn’t help that his fingers couldn’t get his door opened quick enough.

The sound of Dokyeom yelling your name shocked you. You watched him rush over to you in a flash resembling a running gazelle in an open meadow. The feel of his hand gripping tight to your wrist triggered your Grandfather’s chauffer to rush to your rescue.

“Where are you going?” Dokyeom asked with worry in his voice, “please tell me you’re not leaving…I haven’t told you…”

“Can you NOT be so dramatic??” you retorted cutting Dokyeom from expressing his feelings. “I’m going to visit my Grandfather for the weekend.”

Your Grandfather’s chauffer realized you knew the man and stepped away.

Dokyeom gradually let go of your wrist allowing your blood to resume its flow into your numbing fingers. He his lips to hide his mortification. He almost told you. He almost admitted his true feelings. If you hadn’t told him where you were going, he would have been emotional.

The feel of you shoving his arm alarmed his senses.

“Did you hear me?” you asked, “I said I was sorry,”

“Sorry? For what?”

“That letter. Woozi told me you read my letter,” you paused, “It was just a letter for a competition…I don’t plan to hurt myself or…do anything crazy.”

“What?” Dokyeom replied, as if he needed you to repeat your explanation.

“I wrote it for a newspaper competition. But I lost it before I could submit it…I’m sorry for worrying you,” you stated and Dokyeom’s eyes drifted away with slight confusion and relief.

Should he believe you? Or were you just good at fabricating stories? When his eyes finally met yours again he stated, “I believe you. So don’t lie to me…”

“Why would I lie to you?”

After a long silent staring contest, Dokyeom replied, “Have a safe trip…I’ll see you when you come back.” He paused, and with anxious eyes he added, “Make sure to come back.”

You clipped your seatbelt into place and did not look back. The feeling of leaving the city, the place where Emjae broke your heart, made you feel a sense of relief.

The long drive turned your brain off completely as you leaned your head back against the headrest for comfort. When you finally awoke from your uncomfortable nap, you were surrounded by the familiar hills of your childhood. You studied the scenery, taking in the beauty of all the tall lanky trees that covered the hillsides. This serenity was where you belonged. Why did you ever think that a girl like you would survive in a bustling city full of dark shadows that lurked beneath the bright metropolitan lights?

You noticed the desiccated leaves that crowded the edges of the road and turned around to watch the dust rise from the tires beneath you. When the chauffer finally pulled up in front of your Grandfather’s spa, you virtually felt as if you had showed up at a movie scene.

Your Grandfather’s spa was beautifully built. The welcoming and gleaming white bricks were accompanied by two massive dark front doors. As if the place would crumble without them, four matching dark beams held the front of the spa up. The roof was a similar dark color that swooped down from pointed tips, reminding you of historical buildings from the three kingdom era. Some parts of the roof were made of glass producing an exquisite glow as the sun crossed the sky every day. Under one of the large glass squares of the roof was where you had watched the stars with your Grandfather when you were younger.

You cracked open the car door and the smell of the mountain atmosphere stirred your memories. You glanced over to the pathway that you had taken with Emjae every weekend in the summer towards that crystal-clear creek down in the valley. The recollection of you and him walking back from the creek after a long swim made your heart beat a sorrowful hymn.

The sound of your Grandfather calling your name shifted your attention to the present moment. You ran over to him and hugged him like he would vanish tomorrow. The feel of his safe arms wrapping around you made your tears fall willingly from your eyes. In your Grandfather’s embrace, you were able to finally be the weak person that you didn’t want to be.

You laid inside a heated salt room in a matching pair of light pink shorts and t-shirt. The white towel that was originally draped on your shoulders was now holding your hair in place. You were trying to relax yourself, however the longer you remained still, the more you felt like a grape left out to shrivel in the sun. Eventually you would walk out of the room, completely removed of life. Well…that was kind of; sort of the plan anyway…not really.

The door cracked open, allowing the hallway lights to seep in and across your eyes.

“How long are you going to lay in here? It’s been two hours,” your Grandfather asked knowing that this room was definitely your least favorite. “Lunch has been ready for thirty minutes now. It’s growing cold,”

“Coming,” you replied and waited for your Grandfather to close the door before you got up to stretch.

From the back of the spa you exited through a secret door and childhood memories replayed in your mind. Your Grandfather was so dedicated to his spa that he had built a long walkway from the backend of the spa to your house. When you were younger, you referred to it as the secret passageway. However, now that your imagination had dwindled, it was nothing but a memory lane of emotions.

After lunch you slipped your left hand into your Grandfather’s as you walked with him down a long pathway out towards an enormous field. In the spring, wildflowers grew all over the meadow with accompanying brilliant green grass. Now that it was late Fall, the grass had turned a yellow shade and flowers were nowhere to be found. In your right hand, a bouquet of freshly grown daisies resided. Your Grandfather also held a bouquet of daisies alongside a white carnation in his hand.

When you both reached a place that was too familiar to your heart, you let go of your Grandfather’s hand and kneeled to place your bouquet of daisies on your mother’s grave. Your Grandfather handed you the other bouquet of daisies and you placed it onto your Father’s grave. The white carnation was for your Grandmother who was buried beside your mother.

You stared at the leftover memories of them and spoke to them in your mind, telling them that you were doing well besides the fact that Emjae had left you completely lonely. You sighed as your Grandfather got down to kneel on one knee beside you. Your eyes met and he gave you a half smile as if to let you know that he knew what you were silently saying. You broke away from his look and stared at the